Help Out a Struggling Writer.

[OhMissScarlett]

You slut

I'm not a slut, I'm just enthusiastic.

 

[TheEarl]

Oh my God! I think I need a beer or a cold shower now.

Very tempted to submit that vignette of myself and Tolyk. Only needs another 12 words to hit the limit and the responses from the people who have asked to look at it have been mostly broken English and gasping for oxygen.

The Earl

 

[carsonshepherd]

Very tempted to submit that vignette of myself and Tolyk. Only needs another 12 words to hit the limit and the responses from the people who have asked to look at it have been mostly broken English and gasping for oxygen.

The Earl

What kind of begging do I have to do to convince you?

 

[yui]

Very tempted to submit that vignette of myself and Tolyk. Only needs another 12 words to hit the limit and the responses from the people who have asked to look at it have been mostly broken English and gasping for oxygen.

The Earl

How about:

"More, more, more, oh god, more!"

Oh wait, that was my response and doesn't really fit into the story, does it?

 

[yui]

What kind of begging do I have to do to convince you?

Ah...Carson...about that begging...can I...

Nevermind.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Very tempted to submit that vignette of myself and Tolyk. Only needs another 12 words to hit the limit and the responses from the people who have asked to look at it have been mostly broken English and gasping for oxygen.
The Earl

You have to submit this and I'm not just saying that because I'm out of sexual fantasies this week.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Earl, please don't make us bombard you with PMs, pleading to see this story brought to light. You could even do it under an alt...

 

[TheEarl]

Oh no, when I do submit it, it'll be under my name. Will have a goosey and see what needs trimming for public consumption tomorrow morning. Right now, it's 3.00am and I'm getting up in 3 hours. Good night all.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Have just submitted it to Lit; now a grand total of 863 words. Now all you've got to do is wait for Laurel to post it.

The Earl

 

[Rhys]

What the world needs is more gay porn!

Amen.

 

[NoJo]

Amen.

and let's not forget Bwomen.

 

[TheEarl]

and let's not forget Bwomen.

Isn't "a men" oxymoronic? What is the collective for guys - a muscle of men?

The Earl

 

[Rhys]

What is the collective for guys - a muscle of men?

The Earl

That works...a Mezcal of men also works...

 

[gauchecritic]

An idea occurs.
First person whilst drunk doesn't seem to me to be much of a problem. In my experience signs of drunkenness are generally outward and physical, inernally they are razor sharp but flowing wildly. Ingrained connections remain, fighters will fight, talkers will talk and lovers will love. More lately learned connections dissipate. Wherefrom comes the phrase 'in vino veritas'.

This then leaves you with the prospect of understanding what your character learned early and late.

Brought up in a loving family and then forced to fight against bullies in school? (which turned him into a bullying 'jock') The fighting dissipates and the loving emerges.

Shunted from loveless adopted family to uncaring socialworkers then discovering a rewarding and satisfying love life from teens onwards? The loving dissipates and the needy but emotionally coccooned child emerges.

A blissful childhood with an extended family wherein games of 'doctors and nurses' and 'kiss catch' were familiar and then going to a strict Catholic school. The angry homophobe dissipates and the sexually experimental soul emerges.

So, having this background (needn't be included but used as a basis) we come to the drunken present.

The conflict inherent in the situation (learned versus ingrained) can be overcome by the method of compare and contrast. Lips round a cock have no gender. A warm loving body is still a loving body. The length of someones hair tickling your nose is hairdresser dependent. (dependent/dependant. Pun. Get it?)

And so it's the similarities of sex which come to the fore fuelled by basic instinct and the felling of learned boundaries.

The drunkenness, seems to me, can be portrayed by a dream-like telling; disconnected, slo-mo, how did I get here? I don't know how I got here but this is nice.
Then you have the completely dissociated being asleep whilst awake and only noticing every other thing that happens.

Avoid the word "suddenly"

 

[carsonshepherd]

That works...a Mezcal of men also works...

Hey rhys... what's that thing on your head?

 

[woodnymph_O]

I think Im of no help here

I am stuggling in effort to write gay stories and expand my writing capabilities. There is the claim that a good writer can write any situation, but I still have questions I need to research.

Being drunk is something I have done alot, especially at a time I was too young to do it. But I'm a weird drunk. Odd things go through my mind and 99% non-sexual. If anything getting drunk could keep me from having sex. i.e. I had a crush on some guy and he was kind of warming up to me, but I was very drunk, and informed him, while laying on a picnic table, "You have the longest nose hairs I have ever seen in my life". I wonder why he never called lol
goodluck though hun, I know you will do well
Nymphy

 

[carsonshepherd]

Avoid the word "suddenly"

Lord, how I try!

I hate that fucking word but it always creeps into my drafts.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I'm not a slut, I'm just enthusiastic.

Definitely sigworthy

Shanglan

 

[Rhys]

Hey rhys... what's that thing on your head?

A cage of iron spikes. A friend found this avatar for me. She thought it looked like a character from my novel. (The Silencing Machine)

 

[carsonshepherd]

I think I've resolved this issue. I'm taking out all references to being drunk and just relying on the other character saying, inone line of dialogue, that the narrator is drunk.

After that I'm just going for impressions, and using the narrative to describe his uninhibited state of mind, along with his actions that he would never do sober.

Now whether it'll be any good...

 

[NoJo]

Re: Gauche: Avoid th Word 'suddenly'

Lord, how I try!

I hate that fucking word but it always creeps into my drafts.

Me too. I have about six in my latest.


So, what else to use? 'abruptly' is the only one that's similar enough.

'quickly', 'rapidly', etc aren't really right in most conetxts where i use the S word.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Re: Gauche: Avoid th Word 'suddenly'




Me too. I have about six in my latest.


So, what else to use? 'abruptly' is the only one that's similar enough.

'quickly', 'rapidly', etc aren't really right in most conetxts where i use the S word.

Well, you could use the rest of the sentence to convey the, uh, sudden-ness of the action.

instead of "Suddenly he reached out and grabbed me."

He reached out and grabbed me, his hands urgent and demanding.

 

[NoJo]

Er -- let me go thru my latest story (submitted yesterday). I'll check. You're probably right about rephrasing in a lot of cases.

 

[gauchecritic]

'But then'

'and so'

'to my surprise'

'before I could react'

I'd say forget synomyms for 'suddenly' too.

 

[carsonshepherd]

The length of someones hair tickling your nose is hairdresser dependent. (dependent/dependant. Pun. Get it?)

At first I didn't. But now I do.