How Can I cum? 10+ years no orgasm :(

[SGOOD]

I've never Cum How can I?

I am 25 and have yet to orgasm. Ever. Not just with a guy I can't even do it on my own. And I have tried. I must say I am one of those girls who is very shy about things that happen in the bedroom but only if they involve me personally. I really have begun to believe it's just not possible for me. I am told that usually if a girl can't orgasm with a guy they can usually still do it on their own. I can't.
I was wondering if anyone had any ideas that could help me. I wold love to be able to reach this with a guy but Even to be able to accomplish this on my own would be a great victory.

 

[SweetErika]

Have you tried the Hitachi Magic Wand yet? If not, get one with the vinyl (not jelly) attachments, and experiment! The vast majority of women who can't/haven't come any other way can orgasm with the Hitachi, and there's no reason to screw around with wimpy vibes when you simply might need Hitachi-level stimulation to come.

Secondly, you need to relax! I know that's easier said than done, but you're not going to get anywhere if you keep putting pressure on yourself. Assume it'll happen when you find the right combination of stimulation (mental and physical) and relaxation. Focus on exploring, and don't worry about when, or if, it'll happen.

 

[SGOOD]

I assume you sell the hitachi magic wand? I see you talking about it alot. I was a Pure romance consultant and I have just about every toy known to man (or woman I guess) But They really don't make a lot of difference. I come so close but I can't release. It just won't happen. I am trying to learn to relax but I don't know how to.
I have a dominant personality but I not dominant in the bedroom and I think that may play into it. I have no dominant tendancies when It comes to sex whatsoever. I'm not comfortable exploring. For all the toys I own I haven't used half of them and only use one on a regular basis. I have tried everything I can think of and there are many guys who have taken it as a challenge. Of course I'm too uncomfortable to tell them I am a submissive so that's a whole other problem. Or maybe they're the same problem. I don't know. I guess that's why I was looking for a little insight.

 

[RunningJib]

Doctor Visit

I am 25 and have yet to orgasm. Ever. Not just with a guy I can't even do it on my own. And I have tried. I must say I am one of those girls who is very shy about things that happen in the bedroom but only if they involve me personally. I really have begun to believe it's just not possible for me. I am told that usually if a girl can't orgasm with a guy they can usually still do it on their own. I can't.
I was wondering if anyone had any ideas that could help me. I wold love to be able to reach this with a guy but Even to be able to accomplish this on my own would be a great victory.

Have you discussed with a doctor?

 

[SweetErika]

I assume you sell the hitachi magic wand? I see you talking about it alot.

Not at all! People have said I should, but that'd kind of sully my reviews, wouldn't it? Also, I'd probably be throwing one link out if I sold them; in reality, I just google, perhaps giving a link to the cheapest and most reliable looking place, and advise people to find the best deal for them on their own. If I sold toys at all, it'd be a very small selection because most of them are grossly overpriced junk, IMO.

Like you, I have a box full of toys (plus several drawers of BDSM gear), and the Hitachi is just what we prefer and turn to 99% of the time. I think it's a fantastic toy at an exceptional price for all it does. Also like you, I can have difficulty reaching orgasm, but this toy gets me there the vast majority of the time, whereas most toys don't really hit my buttons because they're not strong and/or specifically stimulating enough. I can come other ways, but it usually takes quite a bit of very specific types of stimulation, and honestly, I get superior orgasms from the Hitachi if we're doing a purely physical comparison.

 

[SGOOD]

I can come other ways, but it usually takes quite a bit of very specific types of stimulation.

Like what? That is the information I am looking for. I know it can't be easy for everyone to orgasm I want the tips and tricks the stimulation that helps the other not so easy to push over the top people. Can you do it yourself? With or without toys? Or is it just when you are with him that it takes a little more?

 

[SweetErika]

Like what? That is the information I am looking for. I know it can't be easy for everyone to orgasm I want the tips and tricks the stimulation that helps the other not so easy to push over the top people. Can you do it yourself? With or without toys? Or is it just when you are with him that it takes a little more?

With a few other vibes, my hand (clit stimulation, but it takes a long time and is not all that great), the removable showerhead, oral and very, very rarely from vaginal/g-spot stimulation and mental stimulation. But I've been masturbating for an extremely long time and just celebrated 12 years with my partner, so I'm extremely comfortable with myself and him. It definitely takes longer with him because I'm not as relaxed and into my fantasies, but we make it work most of the time, even if it means mutual masturbation with the Hitachi. And, hey, if it doesn't, it's no biggie.

I couldn't come for the longest time from oral. We found it was primarily a technique and relaxation problem. The technique certainly wasn't his fault; it was mine for not communicating well. We ended up experimenting a lot with different motions and specific communication. I stopped putting pressure on myself, and voila! I still have to be very comfortable physically and mentally, relax, fantasize and communicate, but I have a lot less difficulty that previously. And when orgasm doesn't happen, it's no big deal and we just move on. I'm more of the mindset that orgasm is a pleasant surprise, rather than something I expect.

I'm not sure if that helps, but hopefully you got something from it. I still think your best bet is to figure out how to come yourself first, then move onto teaching your partner(s). If/when you plateau pleasure-wise or start to feel pressured or frustrated, try taking a break. Your body may just need time to reset itself and relax. Breaks are absolutely critical for me and many other women.