How cliquish are we, really?

[A Desert Rose]

Speaking of "list threads" seri... LMAO.

I think (and yes Grace, I'm being sarcastic with undertones AND overtones lol) people love to start these kinds of "who's your favorite poster" threads as an effort to "fit in." Most people see it as an asskissing attempt and ignore it. ;-)

 

[Ebonyfire]

Speaking of "list threads" seri... LMAO.

I think (and yes Grace, I'm being sarcastic with undertones AND overtones lol) people love to start these kinds of "who's your favorite poster" threads as an effort to "fit in." Most people see it as an asskissing attempt and ignore it. ;-)

I don't mind a little ass kissing.

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

I don't mind a little ass kissing.

Eb

Then those threads are right up your alley, doll. ;-) Those posters who are my favorites, know it. I don't need to make a pronouncement on someone's thread. Usually, I've told them at some point.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Then those threads are right up your alley, doll. ;-) Those posters who are my favorites, know it. I don't need to make a pronouncement on someone's thread. Usually, I've told them at some point.

Oh I meant REAL ass kissing, sweets! Not virtual ass kissing.

Eb

 

[serijules]

Then those threads are right up your alley, doll. ;-) Those posters who are my favorites, know it. I don't need to make a pronouncement on someone's thread. Usually, I've told them at some point.

Yeah! That's what I like to do...reply to an actual post where they have said something that connects with me and say so. That's genuine and it's deserved. The list threads remind me of high school popularity contests. Well-intentioned usually, but the underlaying nastiness and potential to make just as many people feel bad as it does feel good kind of ruins whatever good intentions were there in the first place.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yeah! That's what I like to do...reply to an actual post where they have said something that connects with me and say so. That's genuine and it's deserved. The list threads remind me of high school popularity contests. Well-intentioned usually, but the underlaying nastiness and potential to make just as many people feel bad as it does feel good kind of ruins whatever good intentions were there in the first place.

Yes!!! Tell people that you like their ideas when they post them. Say it when you feel it. Those list threads are exactly like high school... you are so right. I wasn't a prom queen then and I ain't gonna be one now. LOL

And you're right, they cause as many hurt feelings as they have any redeeming qualities at all. I never make them. And being reminded (by seeing list threads on the boards) is not fun at all, for someone like me.

 

[graceanne]

Speaking of "list threads" seri... LMAO.

I think (and yes Grace, I'm being sarcastic with undertones AND overtones lol) people love to start these kinds of "who's your favorite poster" threads as an effort to "fit in." Most people see it as an asskissing attempt and ignore it. ;-)

I think they do it cause they're insecure. They can't come right out and say 'who likes me', so they say who they like, and wait to see who puts them on their list.

And frankly I don't have to look for the sarcastic undertones in your posts, they're obvious. How in the world people can't figure out when you're being sarcastic is TOTALLY beyond me.

 

[graceanne]

Then those threads are right up your alley, doll. ;-) Those posters who are my favorites, know it. I don't need to make a pronouncement on someone's thread. Usually, I've told them at some point.

Same here. Most of the people I like KNOW I like them. I'm pretty clear about liking people. Chances are if you're not sure then I don't like you. Either that or you're new and I've not decided yet.

 

[FurryFury]

If you are not at least somewhat insecure does that mean you are by default, arrogant?

Fury

 

[A Desert Rose]

If you are not at least somewhat insecure does that mean you are by default, arrogant?

Fury

Good question... I have no answer to.

LOL

 

[graceanne]

If you are not at least somewhat insecure does that mean you are by default, arrogant?

Fury

Nah. An arrogant person assumes everyone likes him, whether they do or not. A secure person knows who likes him, and is secure in those friendships. He doesn't need to ask, or worry about the ones who don't like him.

 

[FurryFury]

Nah. An arrogant person assumes everyone likes him, whether they do or not. A secure person knows who likes him, and is secure in those friendships. He doesn't need to ask, or worry about the ones who don't like him.

*genuflects*

I am awed by your wisdom beautiful Graceanne!

(I'm dead serious.)

Fury

 

[graceanne]

*genuflects*

I am awed by your wisdom beautiful Graceanne!

(I'm dead serious.)

Fury

LOL Thanks.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Same here. Most of the people I like KNOW I like them. I'm pretty clear about liking people. Chances are if you're not sure then I don't like you. Either that or you're new and I've not decided yet.

I don't know who does and doesn't like me. Well, I know who my friends are. And there are some people who obviously do not like me. (I think most people's first reaction is not to like me.)

But like you, seri and some others, if I like what someone has to say, I'll tell them... either in PM or posting.

 

[A Desert Rose]

... And frankly I don't have to look for the sarcastic undertones in your posts, they're obvious. How in the world people can't figure out when you're being sarcastic is TOTALLY beyond me.

Me neither... I'm as transparent and shallow as a baby's wading pool.
LOL

 

[graceanne]

I don't know who does and doesn't like me. Well, I know who my friends are. And there are some people who obviously do not like me. (I think most people's first reaction is not to like me.)

But like you, seri and some others, if I like what someone has to say, I'll tell them... either in PM or posting.

Well, for the record, I like you.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Well, for the record, I like you.

and you know I do too. ;D

 

[graceanne]

Me neither... I'm as transparent and shallow as a baby's wading pool.
LOL

Well, I don't know about that. But it's also possible that I understand you cause you're a lot like my mom in the way you talk. My mom's also one of those people who piss people off when she doesn't mean to, just cause they didn't understand.

On the other hand she has a bit of fun with it. She'll do things like, when she has to wear a name tag, she'll deliberately put it upside down. Then when people tell her it's upside down she'll give em a vacant look and say 'but I can't read it the other way'. She says she can tell a lot about a person by their reaction when she does that.

 

[graceanne]

and you know I do too. ;D

Yep. I also know that Fury likes me, Snowy likes me, Shy likes me . . . i'm not gonna make a list. But I know who likes me. lol I'd like to say I'm secure, but . . .

I was really worried that after being gone for two weeks I'd come back and people would say 'oh, you weren't here'? It was such a relief to see that people missed me.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Well, I don't know about that. But it's also possible that I understand you cause you're a lot like my mom in the way you talk. My mom's also one of those people who piss people off when she doesn't mean to, just cause they didn't understand.

On the other hand she has a bit of fun with it. She'll do things like, when she has to wear a name tag, she'll deliberately put it upside down. Then when people tell her it's upside down she'll give em a vacant look and say 'but I can't read it the other way'. She says she can tell a lot about a person by their reaction when she does that.

I've found that I've had to really modify my posting style or not posting much at all, because so many don't "get it." Frankly, I don't post much and almost never to new posters. I can't offend people that way. I'm sometimes astounded by the things other posters will say here and get by with. If I said some of those things, I'd be flamed all the way to Bumfuck, Egypt.

Or maybe I'm just overly sensitive. I said before, I'm very thin skinned.

 

[FurryFury]

*sniffs and holds nose up in the air*

I don't "click."

But my knees and other parts "pop."

*falls down laughing*

Okay, it's time to get my book, my kitty and "head to bed." Hopefully sleep will actually be restful tonight for a freakin change.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

I think that's where people mess up with you, ADR. You don't come off as someone who's thin skinned. My first impression of you was that you were a very self confident person who wasn't gonna take crap. It wasn't till I'd been here awhile that I realized you got a very big, very soft heart, and that quite often when you're reaming someone it's not cause you're being a bitch, but cause they hurt your feelings.

 

[FurryFury]

I think that's where people mess up with you, ADR. You don't come off as someone who's thin skinned. My first impression of you was that you were a very self confident person who wasn't gonna take crap. It wasn't till I'd been here awhile that I realized you got a very big, very soft heart, and that quite often when you're reaming someone it's not cause you're being a bitch, but cause they hurt your feelings.

So you're saying they are tough on her cause they think is so tough and can take it?

That seems at least partly workable to me.

Fury

 

[Let_it_come]

"Cliquish" is such a loaded word...
Just like in RL you have networks of like-minded people here, that's all. Friendships just form around common ground.

I'm thinking about the comments on 'list' threads here too - Pretty spot-on I'd say. As someone just who's started a kinda list thread myself I think that they're very 50/50 in the good/bad that comes out of them.
They can be very revealing though... sometimes that's a good thing sometimes not.

Jenny

 

[A Desert Rose]

I think that's where people mess up with you, ADR. You don't come off as someone who's thin skinned. My first impression of you was that you were a very self confident person who wasn't gonna take crap. It wasn't till I'd been here awhile that I realized you got a very big, very soft heart, and that quite often when you're reaming someone it's not cause you're being a bitch, but cause they hurt your feelings.

I guess you're right.

I think a lot of us, myself included, jump to conclusions instead of asking for clarification from someone. It would probably end some of the hard feelings people develop. And it's usually hard to know what someone's intent is just by reading a bunch of flat words on a screen.

One thing I've learned since the start of this medical problem that I have is, lots of people here have or have had their own medical problems. And hearing from them has made them more than just posters on my screen but very much more human. Many of them were not what I'd even consider acquaintances before this, let alone friends. I've certainly appreciated hearing from everyone.

It's also made me much more humble about my own problems.