How do they do that?

[AG31]

"The couch is a two-seater, big enough to make love on." This line, from @ElectricBlue's 750 word "Melissa Works at the Hardware Store" reminded me of a small difficulty I'm constantly encountering in sex scenes. It's the logistics of the thing. On car seats, or couches, how do the guy's two knees and her hips fit? When I take a nap on the couch all by myself I have to be careful that some part of me doesn't slip over the side.

And then there's the length thing. Presumably her head is flat to the cushion, so his lower legs are in the way of hers (again... the slipping off the edge thing).

Can anyone give me a nice clear picture of how the physics can comfortably work so I can stop getting derailed when reading nice, explicity sex scenes?

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

I read an actual published 'spicy romance' book from the library about a year ago and more than one of the sex scenes suffered from this. I sometimes wonder either a) editors are more reluctant to critique sex scenes because then they have to admit to explicitly picturing it/it's embarrassing to talk about, or b) whether they think the reader will be so distracted by his sweaty, naked body that they won't think about how things work out physically?

In any case, in my personal experience of sofa sex, at least one of the participants is in some way off the sofa (standing next to it, bent over it, one leg off etc.), although I suppose if the sofa is really large (3-seater or more?) then lying on it like a bed to do missionary is possible. My personal favourite with everyone on the sofa is being bent over one arm while he kneels behind me, which seems to work on all types of sofa.

Car seats are a triumph of desire over ease. There's absolutely not enough room (especially in a European car) but where there's a will, there's a way.

 

[RejectReality]

His knee in the crack of the couch/seat, the other foot on the floor provides the most stability and room between them.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

where there's a will, there's a way.

It all boils down to this. In my personal preference, a little conflict makes things fun during sex.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

"The couch is a two-seater, big enough to make love on." This line, from @ElectricBlue's 750 word "Melissa Works at the Hardware Store" reminded me of a small difficulty I'm constantly encountering in sex scenes. It's the logistics of the thing. On car seats, or couches, how do the guy's two knees and her hips fit? When I take a nap on the couch all by myself I have to be careful that some part of me doesn't slip over the side.

Some options on a small couch:

• She's kneeling on the cushions, facing the back, and he's standing behind her.
• She's face down over a well-stuffed arm of the couch, feet up around his hips as he drives into her from behind
• She's face up over the same arm, raising her pussy high enough for him to comfortably fuck her
• He's seated in the middle, she's facing him in his lap or facing away
• He's on his side, hands on her hips, spooning her as they fuck, supporting her and keeping her from falling off
• She's standing behind the couch, bent forward over the back, and he's driving in from behind
• She's seated on top of the back of the couch and he's both support and fucker.

Cars are a different matter. Smaller bodies and blind lust would help a lot.

 

[yowser]

Car seats are a triumph of desire over ease. There's absolutely not enough room (especially in a European car) but where there's a will, there's a way.

Well said! Almost like some experience is involved...

 

[AwkwardlySet]

"The couch is a two-seater, big enough to make love on." This line, from @ElectricBlue's 750 word "Melissa Works at the Hardware Store" reminded me of a small difficulty I'm constantly encountering in sex scenes. It's the logistics of the thing. On car seats, or couches, how do the guy's two knees and her hips fit? When I take a nap on the couch all by myself I have to be careful that some part of me doesn't slip over the side.

And then there's the length thing. Presumably her head is flat to the cushion, so his lower legs are in the way of hers (again... the slipping off the edge thing).

Can anyone give me a nice clear picture of how the physics can comfortably work so I can stop getting derailed when reading nice, explicity sex scenes?

It's all physics.
See, in all those scenes, we are talking about milfs with huge breasts, and as Einstein has proven, the presence of such mass distorts space.
So there is a pocket of infinite space in the vicinity of huge boobs that makes it all very possible. Lit doesn't support equations, otherwise I would prove to you how the size of boobs exponentially affects the space around them.
And if the said milf also has a voluptuous ass? Well... then the time gets distorted too, so the characters can come multiple times during what seems like a five-minute drive.

This is all mainstream science.

 

[SimonDoom]

"The couch is a two-seater, big enough to make love on." This line, from @ElectricBlue's 750 word "Melissa Works at the Hardware Store" reminded me of a small difficulty I'm constantly encountering in sex scenes. It's the logistics of the thing. On car seats, or couches, how do the guy's two knees and her hips fit? When I take a nap on the couch all by myself I have to be careful that some part of me doesn't slip over the side.

And then there's the length thing. Presumably her head is flat to the cushion, so his lower legs are in the way of hers (again... the slipping off the edge thing).

Can anyone give me a nice clear picture of how the physics can comfortably work so I can stop getting derailed when reading nice, explicity sex scenes?

If two people want to have sex, they will have sex, damn the physics, geometry, architecture, confinement, exposure, and obstacles. It's gonna happen.

 

[ElectricBlue]

It's all physics.
See, in all those scenes, we are talking about milfs with huge breasts, and as Einstein has proven, the presence of such mass distorts space.

You and your jugs and huge asses!

From the very same story @AG31 has quoted:

She's got sturdy thighs and her breasts are quite small. She's my type.

Never assume your taste is the same as everyone else's. In fact, the more you write, the more you show your taste in women is the complete opposite of mine .

 

[Trionyx]

He's seated in the middle, she's facing him in his lap

This is probably the easiest.

 

[ElectricBlue]

• He's seated in the middle, she's facing him in his lap or facing away

In another couch story, I did it this way:

"I'll show you," she says, and makes me sit on the couch, my cock hard for her, no hands needed. Her hair is still up in its high ponytail, and she flicks it back, before reaching back to take my cock in her fingers, backing on to me, teasing my head around her opening.

Looking down, I see Brooke's strong back, the firm curves of her backside with the dark pink of her asshole a promise, that long ponytail falling over a shoulder. I take the hair in one hand and gently, tentatively, pull it back. I've always loved long hair.

"Harder," she says, "and squeeze my tits."

 

[AwkwardlySet]

You and your jugs and huge asses!

From the very same story @AG31 has quoted:

Never assume your taste is the same as everyone else's. In fact, the more you write, the more you show your taste in women is the complete opposite of mine .

You kinda missed the point. I didn't even read that story. But in most such stories women are depicted as having huge boobs and asses. It's a typical trope.
And for the record, nice voluptuous, but not too big ass? Fuck yeah. Huge tits? Fuck no. I like them medium-sized, actually.

 

[Cali_Love]

Oh goodness me. Really?!

First, put the kids to bed, turn some music on, and then do it.

Secondly, act a pair of scissors.

Then hydrate.

Repeat.

 

[AG31]

In another couch story, I did it this way:

I love the clarity!!!! I'm a clarity junky.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Well it's easier if your two seater is more like an over sized chair, as in the seat part is more of a square than a rectangle. But then your head will be in the air over one arm while his ass is bumping into the other arm. And the one time we tried non missionary we worried that the whole thing would fall over. A standard three seater couch though is much more doable, but in order to get the rapid thrust action yeah his foot had to be on the ground and knee in the crack of the couch. So, positions other than missionary are preferable for that too.

 

[AG31]

It's becoming clear that assuming the missionary position was a mistake. But I think authors could give a hint that something else was in the offing.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Some options on a small couch:

• She's kneeling on the cushions, facing the back, and he's standing behind her.
• She's face down over a well-stuffed arm of the couch, feet up around his hips as he drives into her from behind
• She's face up over the same arm, raising her pussy high enough for him to comfortably fuck her
• He's seated in the middle, she's facing him in his lap or facing away
• He's on his side, hands on her hips, spooning her as they fuck, supporting her and keeping her from falling off
• She's standing behind the couch, bent forward over the back, and he's driving in from behind
• She's seated on top of the back of the couch and he's both support and fucker.

Cars are a different matter. Smaller bodies and blind lust would help a lot.

The fourth option would be called a "cowgirl." It even works well on an armless chair, with the woman's feet on the floor, as demonstrated by the late Fred Ward in Henry and June. Unfortuntely,, the scene is a bit too brief. I think he's with Maria de Medeiros, who is playing Anaïs Nin. I have to see if I can find that scene on-line.

In porn, a reverse cowgirl is popular, with the woman facing away with him. I guess it's a matter of opinion, but some people find this less comfortable. Automobiles I suppose can be a problem because until recently they lacked headroom. Nowadays everybody seems to have an SUV, which I guess helps.

 

[AG31]

In another couch story, I did it this way:

What was in your mind in THIS couch story?

 

[gunhilltrain]

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/movies/fred-ward-dead.html

Fred Ward's obituary. Seems like it was one of his two biggest movies.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What was in your mind in THIS couch story?

Never got that far!

Thinking about it though, given the getting of her boots off, then those shorts and panties, I'm going to take a guess she's going to sit on the couch, legs spread, and I'm going to be on the floor.

But since it's still summer and the wood fire's not lit, more likely, go straight to bed where there's more room!

 

[JGittes]

Over a half-century ago, I was home on leave from my first USAF posting in Thule AFB, Greenland. Friends tried to set me up with a few of the available young women they knew. After a couple of terrible group dates to drive-in movies where I sat on the hood of the car while my supposed date made out with someone else in the car, they finally found someone who would go out with me solo.

I didn't have a car, but my aunt loaned me hers. She'd just bought a Jaguar XK E-Type. She'd never married and was more my mom than my mom was. I 'helped' her decide the Jag was a sound choice.

Anyway, I showed up for the date, driving the yellow XKE. Did I mention I was a virgin at the time? She said she wanted to show me where she worked. We went maybe a mile to a business park, where she showed me how she monitored the robots that made computer chips. This was 1972, so this was very impressive.

Back at the Jag, and being the idiotic young dweeb that I was (and still am, for that matter), I opened her door first so she could get in. Even though I was utterly inexperienced in such issues, I knew her lip lock before I opened the door indicated she wanted something more than a ride home.

Sex in the front passenger seat of a Jag XKE 2+2 is almost impossible, but not quite. I broke the air conditioner, and blood from my sandpapered knees showed through my jeans the next day.

When sex is involved, where there's a will, there's a way.

 

[NuclearFairy]

In porn, a reverse cowgirl is popular, with the woman facing away with him. I guess it's a matter of opinion, but some people find this less comfortable. Automobiles I suppose can be a problem because until recently they lacked headroom. Nowadays everybody seems to have an SUV, which I guess helps.

Reverse cowgirl is the only sex position I've tried that I actively dislike. Which sucks because it's my SO's favorite position. We still do it sometimes because I love him, also he tries to make it up to me both before and after we've gone through that awkward as fuck position.

 

[kitmarlowe]

Reading this thread has me realising I'm very lucky to have always owned sofas big enough to have sex on comfortably without someone needing to learn to levitate or become a contortionist

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Reading this thread has me realising I'm very lucky to have always owned sofas big enough to have sex on comfortably without someone needing to learn to levitate or become a contortionist

But levitation & contortions both add so much!

So many bumps, bruises, curses, aches, pains, giggles, jiggles, wriggles…

 

[kitmarlowe]

But levitation & contortions both add so much!

So many bumps, bruises, curses, aches, pains, giggles, jiggles, wriggles…

To be fair, levitation does sound fun