How do women hold back orgasm?

[wakeboard1963]

For a guy, baseball is a really bad idea, because all it does is remind you how your balls are going to feel if you don't release...

Really fun

 

[zotique]

Most women I had sex with didn't have an orgasm. Ask them how they did it.

 

[hpycpl]

Most women I had sex with didn't have an orgasm. Ask them how they did it.

That's funny!

I'm going to plagiarize that! (with your permission of course)

 

[tryn2Bgood]

Okay, give me a few minutes...I'll BRB and let ya know

Maybe more than a few minutes

 

[tryn2Bgood]

okay, I have an honest answer for you

At first I wasn't going to respond to this because it seemed a little personal, but since it's in the name of research...

First of all, once you realize you are at the edge of coming, the first reaction would be to break the point of contact with the implement (hand, vibrator, whatever) that is giving you pleasure, so you would try to shift positions - squirm around, back away, etc. Getting away completely isn't always possible, but even the slightest shift can cause the moment to be lost. I'm sure you've heard of "Oh yes! Right there! Right there! That's it, I'm almost there ..damn,you moved" So, changing the position even a tiny bit can help you hold out at least a few seconds longer. The next thing you would do is immediately focus on something else (a cramp in your leg, a crack in the ceiling, a curtain blowing the breeze - anything other than what is happening to provide you pleasure.) Also, you need to control your breathing at the same time. Slow steady breaths. No panting or rapid breathing. Maybe even hold your breath for a few seconds. None of this is easy and you probably have an elevated heart rate and have started sweating by this point. More focus on the breathing. Nice and steady, deep breaths. Let your mind focus on the breathing. Do NOT let your mind slip into any kind of visual of what you are enduring right now. Steady breaths. Slowing heartbeat. By now you have most likely gained enough control to relax a little and as long as you keep your mind focused on mundane thoughts (household items you need to go shopping for, the last episode of The Walking Dead, whatever) you should be able to enjoy the pleasurable sensations without it bringing you to the edge. Eventually, you will loose sensitivity with the continued stimulation and it kind of just goes numb. At this point, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to come from the continued stimulation alone. You would really have to get in the right headspace to bring yourself over the edge then.

Like I said, this is pretty difficult, but not impossible. It takes a lot of focus, concentration on regulating your body's reactions, and a bit of practice. Granted, there are times when it isn't possible, depending of the other stimuli at the time, but there ya have it!

 

[Nezhul]

thanks! That was a very good description.

 

[luv2bfkd]

I can’t recall that I have ever tried to hold back an orgasm. I have no reason to hold back because I know I can soon have another one.

 

[KimGordon67]

I can’t recall that I have ever tried to hold back an orgasm. I have no reason to hold back because I know I can soon have another one.

Sometimes having to hold back is the fun part though ... if you like that sort of thing.

 

[Alicia_Kim]

I usually just think of my mother-in-law coming to stay for a visit.

 

[Athalia]

Sometimes having to hold back is the fun part though ... if you like that sort of thing.

I agree. If I think that a simultaneous orgasm might be possible, I'll try to hold off for a little bit until the man catches up, so we can climax together. It's not something we usually depend on, but it is nice when it happens.

 

[DrDelirium]

For me it's like holding my breath and tensing and willing the peak not to come

Under consistent stimulation it can be a battle one loses but with the right partner recognising just when to pull back and when to restart and with a determination that edge can be held

But it feels like a rising heat

This fits my observations with several partners I've engaged in edge play/denial with. The head space is important- the contradiction in being aroused by the control dynamic and required by that same dynamic not to cum is/can be even more arousing. For me and my partners, at least, the idea is not for her to 'control' her orgasm completely, but for her to strive to control it on command. Part of this dynamic is the possibility- and reality- of failure to do so, and part of it is my own attention to detail so as to withdraw stimulation at the appropriate moment if I don't want her to fail at that point. A sudden application of pain- a rubber band to the clit, for example- can also head off an orgasm. Until it causes it.
I think the fun is in the contradictions, not a simplistic goal of orgasm or no orgasm.

 

[bunny4med]

have sex with a man.

no seriously, we don't hold back. we can keep cumming over and over.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

Maybe more than a few minutes

Hurry!

At first I wasn't going to respond to this because it seemed a little personal, but since it's in the name of research...

First of all, once you realize you are at the edge of coming, the first reaction would be to break the point of contact with the implement (hand, vibrator, whatever) that is giving you pleasure, so you would try to shift positions - squirm around, back away, etc. Getting away completely isn't always possible, but even the slightest shift can cause the moment to be lost. I'm sure you've heard of "Oh yes! Right there! Right there! That's it, I'm almost there ..damn,you moved" So, changing the position even a tiny bit can help you hold out at least a few seconds longer. The next thing you would do is immediately focus on something else (a cramp in your leg, a crack in the ceiling, a curtain blowing the breeze - anything other than what is happening to provide you pleasure.) Also, you need to control your breathing at the same time. Slow steady breaths. No panting or rapid breathing. Maybe even hold your breath for a few seconds. None of this is easy and you probably have an elevated heart rate and have started sweating by this point. More focus on the breathing. Nice and steady, deep breaths. Let your mind focus on the breathing. Do NOT let your mind slip into any kind of visual of what you are enduring right now. Steady breaths. Slowing heartbeat. By now you have most likely gained enough control to relax a little and as long as you keep your mind focused on mundane thoughts (household items you need to go shopping for, the last episode of The Walking Dead, whatever) you should be able to enjoy the pleasurable sensations without it bringing you to the edge. Eventually, you will loose sensitivity with the continued stimulation and it kind of just goes numb. At this point, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to come from the continued stimulation alone. You would really have to get in the right headspace to bring yourself over the edge then.

Like I said, this is pretty difficult, but not impossible. It takes a lot of focus, concentration on regulating your body's reactions, and a bit of practice. Granted, there are times when it isn't possible, depending of the other stimuli at the time, but there ya have it!

As the male half of the half it's usually me that has to hold back no matter if it's my wife or a close friend. (never tried it with an enemy) At least with my wife she can still cum over and over. We sort of liked cuming together so I'd get her to think about something else until I was ready to fire my rocket. So together we'd hold back. Sort of like that big fireworks finale, we'd shoot off at the same time.
Actually it's quite complicated. Sometimes she had to hold back until I was ready.

I can’t recall that I have ever tried to hold back an orgasm. I have no reason to hold back because I know I can soon have another one.

Just like my wife. Yet I liked her to save that last one for me.

I usually just think of my mother-in-law coming to stay for a visit.

In our younger days my mother in law looked hot and was a nympho asking me many times to fuck her. If I thought about her I'd pre ejaculate.

To answer the question my wife rarely held back but when I begged she'd grit her teeth and think unhappy thoughts, I guess.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Many times it's the excitement of reaching that peak, thinking the time is NOW... and he says to wait. I'm not so sure it's obedience or the feeling disappointment that eases me back from that edge... for the moment, anyway.

 

[Gabriel1664]

excellent

Excellent thread. I do enjoy having a lover wait till she cums, teasing for a long time, and then allowing her to. And also I know that every woman is different - in tolerance for waiting, in her reaction to the pleasure/frustration of waiting, in how she cums.

 

[AngusBridie]

To the original OP
they have sex with me of course,, it happens naturally

 

[VeraBad]

Think of that old fart who does that eHarmony commercial?