How do you "keep it in the bedroom"

[sweepthefloor]

When my time comes: children will flourish in the security of routine and clearly defined roles for all members of the household.
The bedroom door will be locked: they need not know what goes on behind closed doors.
I live in a dream world that does not encompass fantasy or role play.

 

[SinfulSailor]

Something that seems to be missed above is the alternative. What do you do, what do you teach in the alternative?

Would you, by example, teach your children to run a tally in their future relationships to make sure everything is kept "equal"? Would you teach them to be that me-centric? If they have future expectations of "keeping score" on who does what - will that serve them well in finding happiness and a fulfilling relationship when they mature?

Would you teach them that women "don't do windows" because that is too stereotypical? Do you teach them that the man has to cook and clean and do the windows because you are on a mission to reverse stereotypical roles?

Do you teach them androgeny?

I'm making up hypotheticals to make a point. I may be exaggerating or these examples may not be applicable in your home. The point, however, is well taken I think.

 

[Homburg]

Something that seems to be missed above is the alternative. What do you do, what do you teach in the alternative?

Would you, by example, teach your children to run a tally in their future relationships to make sure everything is kept "equal"? Would you teach them to be that me-centric? If they have future expectations of "keeping score" on who does what - will that serve them well in finding happiness and a fulfilling relationship when they mature?

Would you teach them that women "don't do windows" because that is too stereotypical? Do you teach them that the man has to cook and clean and do the windows because you are on a mission to reverse stereotypical roles?

Do you teach them androgeny?

I'm making up hypotheticals to make a point. I may be exaggerating or these examples may not be applicable in your home. The point, however, is well taken I think.

Meh. I'd rather teach my children to be themselves, and to make reasoned, prudent decisions regardless of what societal conditioning says or does not say. It is as damaging to drum constant contrariness into a child as it is to inculcate stereotypes.

 

[SinfulSailor]

Exactly. And I think the best way to teach children to be themselves is for the parents to be themselves, and in this case, to not sweat it if being themselves encompasses "stereotypical" roles within their relationship.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Exactly. And I think the best way to teach children to be themselves is for the parents to be themselves, and in this case, to not sweat it if being themselves encompasses "stereotypical" roles within their relationship.

That's pretty much the consensus, yes.

 

[Homburg]

Well, fortunately for me, being myself as a parent means no hate speech in the house, and support for non-traditional gender choices and roles. I'm not drumming it into them, but I'm also not trying to foster difference for the sake of being different.My kids are kids. They're too young to really worry about conformity of rebellion, so it's not a worry yet.

 

[Noor]

there is a big difference between being into D/s in the bedroom and living it 24/7.

I do find I tend to 'leak' stuff, especially at work. I explained what the acronym BDSM meant before I'd even realised I'd opened my mouth the other day.

I try really hard to keep it suppressed, but to no avail.

LOL! Yesterday, I inadvertently explained the difference between a gigolo and rent boy.

 

[where]

LOL! Yesterday, I inadvertently explained the difference between a gigolo and rent boy.

there's a difference? one for women and one for men?

 

[Noor]

there's a difference? one for women and one for men?

Gigolo is a kept man like a mistress, and a rent boy is a prostitute.

 

[where]

Gigolo is a kept man like a mistress, and a rent boy is a prostitute.

interesting, I assumed it was a gender difference with gigolo being used to save the delicate sensitivities of women.

 

[Noor]

interesting, I assumed it was a gender difference with gigolo being used to save the delicate sensitivities of women.

The escort is to save delicate sensitives ;-) There are also walkers who look cute but don't have sex.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Going to ignore the bit about the kids because I feel it's a bit irrelevant to your actual question.

My boyfriend and I just remove the quotations to your "keep it in the bedroom" and keep it in the bedroom. We don't ALWAYS, but just having that "rule" established keeps it from being more than subtle little things that most people would probably miss anyways.

Methinks you're thinking too hard

 

[DVS]

How do I keep it in the bedroom? I keep the door locked. It has almost gotten out once or twice, but I've always managed to get the door closed and locked before it could get out.

Sure, I feed it and everything, and it has a nice place to sleep in there, but I know what would happen if it were to get out, so I make sure that bedroom door is always locked.