How is it any different?

[she_is_my_addiction]

Uh-oh. Someone is under 18.

And you were referring to....?

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Please. There are thousands of registered users. How fragile is the ego that cannot handle a failure to hit the top ten? What do all of you do when your stories aren't in the top ten of the category - ritualistic suicide? I'm afraid to vote ever again.

Shanglan

The difference is, the Top 10 list on Lit is because of votes and is based on the opinions of many judging talent.

A top 10 list of people in the AH is based on nothing except personal opinons on the person... ie. Popularity.

If my story gets bad votes it drives me to write a better story next time.

But if I don't make the AH top ten because I'm not whitty enough, or smart enough, or whatever what do I do? Try to change myself to be someone else that will be more popular? Well, I can't really change most of those things so I guess it leaves me at the bottom of the pile.

 

[BlackShanglan]

No, you weren't.

And, what surprises me most, honestly, is that he rarely posts, yet seems to find such glee in splitting us the way he has. I think it sucks.

This will only happen if we allow it to. In fact, it's hardly taken an axe and a wedge for him to split us, has it? We're doing it ourselves, at least those of us interested in playing this particular game.

Might we start by asking why those unhappy with the lists care about the opinion of someone who rarely posts, and who posts things they're not interested in? What is it about being slighted by someone you care nothing about that bothers you so? How could these lists possibly be relavent to you, or a source of any interest whatsoever? It's like being upset at not appearing on People magazine's best-dressed list. Who would compete for that particular palm?

Shanglan

 

[shereads]

This place is turning into a mean-spirited, ego inflated, hurtful, agonizing place.

I'm not in any place to put up with this shit. I'd rather pack my bags and leave.

Don't go away. It will iron itself out. Do you really care if a boy who's never seen you calls you pretty? The bigger question is, why does he think we do? It's kind of funny if you think about it.

 

[shereads]

And you were referring to....?

Not you, sweetie. The boy writing on the locker room wall.

 

[cloudy]

This will only happen if we allow it to. In fact, it's hardly taken an axe and a wedge for him to split us, has it? We're doing it ourselves, at least those of us interested in playing this particular game.

Might we start by asking why those unhappy with the lists care about the opinion of someone who rarely posts, and who posts things they're not interested in? What is it about being slighted by someone you care nothing about that bothers you so? How could these lists possibly be relavent to you, or a source of any interest whatsoever? It's like being upset at not appearing on People magazine's best-dressed list. Who would compete for that particular palm?

Shanglan

I understand - and it didn't concern me in the least whether I was on any list or not. As I said in another thread, I matter to the one that matters to me, and that's what counts.

That said, it just seemed either planned to cause problems or done as a suck-up. Neither explanation is nice.

 

[BlackShanglan]

The difference is, the Top 10 list on Lit is because of votes and is based on the opinions of many judging talent.

A top 10 list of people in the AH is based on nothing except personal opinons on the person... ie. Popularity.

If my story gets bad votes it drives me to write a better story next time.

But if I don't make the AH top ten because I'm not whitty enough, or smart enough, or whatever what do I do? Try to change myself to be someone else that will be more popular? Well, I can't really change most of those things so I guess it leaves me at the bottom of the pile.

Start by not giving a fig for the opinion of single person you barely know? By rejecting a silly popularity contest with thousands of entrants and one self-appointed judge?

Really. I love all of you here and really enjoy your friendship and wit. But we must stop wallowing in an orgy of self-abasement. I never thought I would use this word in close connection with "orgy" and "wallowing," but it's most unattractive and rather silly.

Shanglan

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Not you, sweetie. The boy writing on the locker room wall.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Start by not giving a fig for the opinion of single person you barely know? By rejecting a silly popularity contest with thousands of entrants and one self-appointed judge?

Really. I love all of you here and really enjoy your friendship and wit. But we must stop wallowing in an orgy of self-abasement. I never thought I would use this word in close connection with "orgy" and "wallowing," but it's most unattractive and rather silly.

Shanglan

It's harder for some than others. And for some it doesn't matter who's doing it. It hurts. Period.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I understand - and it didn't concern me in the least whether I was on any list or not. As I said in another thread, I matter to the one that matters to me, and that's what counts.

That said, it just seemed either planned to cause problems or done as a suck-up. Neither explanation is nice.

Or someone attempting an elaborate compliment to some people he likes, not expecting that compliments are now on a "did you bring enough for everyone" basis? I don't find the lists especially flattering or interesting, but I don't think it necessary to construe malicious intent. We could take the shocking step of just ignoring them and moving on.

Shanglan

 

[sack]

"only you can make yourself feel bad"

I would like to feel that people are in control of their emotions enough to not let a TOTAL STRANGER from cyberspace determine whether they would be happy, unhappy, etc. Why is my opinion so important to you? Anyone could have have posted a list like mine. I personally would have supported others' names, if I felt the same way about their contributions/achievements. I'm so surprised that many AH folk have decided to divide themselves. Cloudy, I've posted over 200 times, I 'm not sure if that qualifies as "rarely." I'm not getting glee over anything, I'm surprised my innocent and lighthearted thread would be taken so deadly seriously, which is the only inappropriate thing going on here!

Sack

 

[cloudy]

Or someone attempting an elaborate compliment to some people he likes, not expecting that compliments are now on a "did you bring enough for everyone" basis? I don't find the lists especially flattering or interesting, but I don't think it necessary to construe malicious intent. We could take the shocking step of just ignoring them and moving on.

Shanglan

I would probably see it that way if.....oh, well, nevermind. It's not worth it. You're right, it just should have been ignored.

 

[cloudy]

Re: "only you can make yourself feel bad"

I would like to feel that people are in control of their emotions enough to not let a TOTAL STRANGER from cyberspace determine whether they would be happy, unhappy, etc. Why is my opinion so important to you? Anyone could have have posted a list like mine. I personally would have supported others' names, if I felt the same way about their contributions/achievements. I'm so surprised that many AH folk have decided to divide themselves. Cloudy, I've posted over 200 times, I 'm not sure if that qualifies as "rarely." I'm not getting glee over anything, I'm surprised my innocent and lighthearted thread would be taken so deadly seriously, which is the only inappropriate thing going on here!

Sack

Sack, all I'm saying is that you hurt people, and I think it's sad, really. That's all. Nothing personal against you at all - I don't know you. But the next time you start to post something like that, you might think about the reverberations....... It didn't hurt me, but it apparently did hurt some, and I care about these people here.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Re: "only you can make yourself feel bad"

I would like to feel that people are in control of their emotions enough to not let a TOTAL STRANGER from cyberspace determine whether they would be happy, unhappy, etc. Why is my opinion so important to you? Anyone could have have posted a list like mine. I personally would have supported others' names, if I felt the same way about their contributions/achievements. I'm so surprised that many AH folk have decided to divide themselves. Cloudy, I've posted over 200 times, I 'm not sure if that qualifies as "rarely." I'm not getting glee over anything, I'm surprised my innocent and lighthearted thread would be taken so deadly seriously, which is the only inappropriate thing going on here!

Sack

If we're all total strangers, then nobody has any damn business posting any kind of Top Ten lists. That's ridiculous.

 

[sack]

We're not all total strangers...

But the people that seemed to get upset are people I've never heard of....and that is what is so strange. If I inadvertently left my best friend out and he was upset, that is understandable. I just don't understand why someone I don't know at all would have even EXPECTED to be on those lists. That's the part I'm not getting. And Cloudy, when I composed these lists, hurting people was the last thing on my mind, as I figured others would be supporting and rooting for the same people, who I thought were generally highly regarded on Lit. Where was the flaw in my reasoning?

Sack

 

[shereads]

Re: "only you can make yourself feel bad"

I would like to feel that people are in control of their emotions enough to not let a TOTAL STRANGER from cyberspace determine whether they would be happy, unhappy, etc. Why is my opinion so important to you? Anyone could have have posted a list like mine. I personally would have supported others' names, if I felt the same way about their contributions/achievements. I'm so surprised that many AH folk have decided to divide themselves. Cloudy, I've posted over 200 times, I 'm not sure if that qualifies as "rarely." I'm not getting glee over anything, I'm surprised my innocent and lighthearted thread would be taken so deadly seriously, which is the only inappropriate thing going on here!

Sack

Free clues: Someone posted an objection to that type of thread when you posted your first "Most beautiful" list, not because you'd done anything objectionable but because those popularity lists usually cause some hurt feelings. You would not have known about the backstory. What became objectionable was your insistence that you had every right to do as you pleased (we all know that; your right to do it was not an issue. The wisdom of continuing, when even some of the people you had complimented asked for it to stop, was increasingly an issue. When it got weird was when you revealed that you thought we were objecting because some of us were bereft at having not met your standards. Please.

In brief, it's not your opinion that mattered but your like-it-or-not attitude. You have every right to approach new acquaintances that way. But don't be surprised when the reactions are not all favorable.

I'm choosing to believe that you meant to have a pleasant eveniing here and didn't realize that ranking people in order of value is no more appropriate in cyberworld than if you were with a group of friends and strangers and acquaintances, face-to-face. When it turned into a controversy, you found yourself caught up in something with no graceful way out. It happens to the best of us. In my case, I just return in seamed stockings and buy everyone a drink and they let me forget I embarrassed myself.

I always welcome threads that suggest special stories to read. Ranking them is irrelevent, but if that's how you want to approach it go right ahead.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Re: We're not all total strangers...

But the people that seemed to get upset are people I've never heard of....and that is what is so strange. If I inadvertently left my best friend out and he was upset, that is understandable. I just don't understand why someone I don't know at all would have even EXPECTED to be on those lists. That's the part I'm not getting. And Cloudy, when I composed these lists, hurting people was the last thing on my mind, as I figured others would be supporting and rooting for the same people, who I thought were generally highly regarded on Lit. Where was the flaw in my reasoning?

Sack

Technically, most of us are strangers. Top Ten lists, IMO are not acceptable.

 

[cloudy]

Re: We're not all total strangers...

Cloudy, when I composed these lists, hurting people was the last thing on my mind, as I figured others would be supporting and rooting for the same people, who I thought were generally highly regarded on Lit. Where was the flaw in my reasoning?

Sack

I don't know, I wish I could tell you, but when those I care about are hurting, I hurt with them.

Yes, the people you mentioned are generally highly thought of, but there are others that are just as highly thought of.

I can't tell you the answer, I just know it makes me sad to see all this going on, that's all.

 

[neonlyte]

There was a list!

Was I...

Never mind.

 

[shereads]

There was a list!

Was I...

Never mind.

It was a list of your ten best attributes. The server crashed and it was lost. You'd have loved it.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Thoughts of an Aphrodisiaddict

I would like to feel that people are in control of their emotions enough to not let a TOTAL STRANGER from cyberspace determine whether they would be happy, unhappy, etc. Why is my opinion so important to you? Anyone could have have posted a list like mine. I personally would have supported others' names, if I felt the same way about their contributions/achievements. I'm so surprised that many AH folk have decided to divide themselves. Cloudy, I've posted over 200 times, I 'm not sure if that qualifies as "rarely." I'm not getting glee over anything, I'm surprised my innocent and lighthearted thread would be taken so deadly seriously, which is the only inappropriate thing going on here!

Sack

Here's a very simple and watered down way of how some people have taken this. Your mom walks into the room and delineates which ones of your brothers and sisters she likes best, next best, enough to feed, and ... Sack. (Or you're just left off altogether, you red-headed step-child.) Capiche?

My memories of my first several months here were of family, not acquaintances. Sure, things have changed and we've all bitched about it, but most days I still get the feeling that the bulk of cameraderie is there and that I'm a part of it. We've been through a lot together, the way siblings are. Sometimes we fight, other times we laugh, and there are even times we tease/torment. Usually, when it's all said and done, we still admire and respect one another. (We've worked for it. Earned it, if you will, by posting around for a while and putting ourselves out there.)

I think it's a bit of a phenomenon, really. Many families hate one another on a day to day basis, but the moment an 'outsider' arrives and wants to join in the fun of tearing them apart - the entire group binds tightly together and sends the message, "We don't always get along, but we're always family."

You know, Chilled Vodka, had a much better way of going about things than you do, imo. It used to perplex me but he'd post unmarked links to Lit stories. Just at random and we'd find them peppered throughout the AH with little or nothing said about them. Some of us checked them out and they turned out to be really great stories, or at least brain-food for something new to try/read. I don't remember anyone ever getting their toes stepped on that way.

Anyway, I don't care about being on your list, but I do care when your list is hurtful or embarrassing to people that I admire and respect (whether it was intended to be or not).

One thing I will say for you, though, is that you are quite the reader. I don't think you've ever read anything of mine, but I can still appreciate that you read as much as you do. Most all of us are here to be read, feedbacked and either appreciated or critiqued for improvement. It just normally isn't done with a billboard on mainstreet. I hope you read on, stories of course, but also around here because there's a lot more to the talent in the AH than can be compiled on any list.

I think that's all most of us want you to understand.

~lucky

p.s. Shanglan ~ Wise & Diplomatic as always.

 

[sack]

Thanks....

I needed a laugh after the way tonight went!

Sack

 

[shereads]

Re: Thanks....

I needed a laugh after the way tonight went!

Sack

The initation was a success. You may wash off the syrup and leave the ant bed. You should probably shower.

 

[BlackShanglan]

You know, much as I hate to open this can of worms again - this came to me last night after I left.

About a month ago, The Earl did the AH Year's Awards or some such. With categories. And winners. Quite a limited number of winners if memory serves. And we all laughed, and a good time was had by all.

Why on earth is this so much more disturbing? It seems rather unfair on Sack, to be honest.

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Thoughts of an Aphrodisiaddict

p.s. Shanglan ~ Wise & Diplomatic as always.

Damn. I hope I haven't just lost that one. Awfully decent of you, Lucky.


Shanglan