How often do you have sex with your spouse/SO?

[simplegirl]

Very interesting poll and frankly I'm shocked by the numbers. It's quite eye-opening. We're in the less than once a month category. Between endometriosis, surgeries, depression,etc... it's hard to get back into the saddle again. Quite frankly I think we've each avoided sex for various reasons at different times that it's become habit to not have sex. Currently, it's my sex drive that up and his is down (due to medications and with everything I've been through, he still has a deep-seated fear that sex will cause me pain). Mental blocks are a bitch.

 

[suckonsimon]

Very interesting poll and frankly I'm shocked by the numbers. It's quite eye-opening. We're in the less than once a month category. Between endometriosis, surgeries, depression,etc... it's hard to get back into the saddle again. Quite frankly I think we've each avoided sex for various reasons at different times that it's become habit to not have sex. Currently, it's my sex drive that up and his is down (due to medications and with everything I've been through, he still has a deep-seated fear that sex will cause me pain). Mental blocks are a bitch.

Hey SG, I'd be interested to know what aspect shocked you.

And for what it's worth: after my good woman had a long spell when penetration was painful, a way forward for both of us - oh how I know that deep seated fear you refer to! - a way forward was to find a lube which we were both really pleased with in terms of its feel so that it was an addition to the pleasure and not merely a necessity. Just a thought.

 

[hugebear]

I think it's been 8 years since I've orgasmed in my wife. I had severe arthritic in my hip which made life difficult. My fingers and tongue worked fine for her but that was a one way deal.

When we moved in together and then got married sex was often and great even though her 3 kids lived with us. One by one as they moved out the frequency and variety decreased until we had an empty house and no sex.

 

[suckonsimon]

I think it's been 8 years since I've orgasmed in my wife. I had severe arthritic in my hip which made life difficult. My fingers and tongue worked fine for her but that was a one way deal.

When we moved in together and then got married sex was often and great even though her 3 kids lived with us. One by one as they moved out the frequency and variety decreased until we had an empty house and no sex.

Hey, hugebear, I feel like giving you a huge hug, man to man, for you being a great lover. That track record of delight for a woman who needed you ...

Respect, mate.

 

[simplegirl]

Hey SG, I'd be interested to know what aspect shocked you.

And for what it's worth: after my good woman had a long spell when penetration was painful, a way forward for both of us - oh how I know that deep seated fear you refer to! - a way forward was to find a lube which we were both really pleased with in terms of its feel so that it was an addition to the pleasure and not merely a necessity. Just a thought.

I'm shocked by how many couples seldom have sex. I guess I expected most couples to be more sexually active than we are. Just goes to show how reality and what we *think* we know differs, eh? And I'm surprised how evenly the numbers are spread through each category in this poll. Very interesting from an intellectual point of view, but it sucks that so many couples obviously share this reality.

Lube isn't an issue. Somehow, despite a hysterectomy and ovariectmy I still get very wet which is a godsend. It's just that endometriosis caused sex to be painful, specially if he penetrated me too deeply. Couple that with years of pain, not to mention all of the other life crap / illnesses and meds that play havoc with libido and it's become rather ingrained that sex = pain. Logically we know this isn't true, but knowing it and *knowing* it are horses of two different colours.

 

[suckonsimon]

I'm shocked by how many couples seldom have sex. I guess I expected most couples to be more sexually active than we are. Just goes to show how reality and what we *think* we know differs, eh? And I'm surprised how evenly the numbers are spread through each category in this poll. Very interesting from an intellectual point of view, but it sucks that so many couples obviously share this reality.

Lube isn't an issue. Somehow, despite a hysterectomy and ovariectmy I still get very wet which is a godsend. It's just that endometriosis caused sex to be painful, specially if he penetrated me too deeply. Couple that with years of pain, not to mention all of the other life crap / illnesses and meds that play havoc with libido and it's become rather ingrained that sex = pain. Logically we know this isn't true, but knowing it and *knowing* it are horses of two different colours.

How I wish you two well! Here's a thing: if this poll had been put up two years ago I would have clicked the top of the list. As it is, on the basis of the last 20 months, I could click the bottom of the list. I hope that says, "where there's life there's hope", or "where there's love there's hope", or something, to some folk.

 

[theeyesavit]

Married 40 years
Last 30 years I've been an involuntary celibate..

 

[Aphro]

Twice a week on average. Unless he pisses me off. Then two or three weeks can go by with nuthin'.

 

[midwestyankee]

Married 36 years. We've been in the 1 to 3 times per week range for the last few years, though this last year doesn't really count as I was in chemo for most of it. Pretty hard to get horny when you're being poisoned regularly.

 

[simplegirl]

Married 36 years. We've been in the 1 to 3 times per week range for the last few years, though this last year doesn't really count as I was in chemo for most of it. Pretty hard to get horny when you're being poisoned regularly.

I hope you're doing well Midwestyankee. Wishing you good health and a speedy recovery.

 

[midwestyankee]

I hope you're doing well Midwestyankee. Wishing you good health and a speedy recovery.

Thank you. This has been testing and re-staging month for me. So far all the results have showed no evidence of disease. All that's left is one test and it's hard to imagine we'll discover anything dangerous lurking in the rest of my exit ramp. Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[Ardent1]

Married 36 years. We've been in the 1 to 3 times per week range for the last few years, though this last year doesn't really count as I was in chemo for most of it. Pretty hard to get horny when you're being poisoned regularly.

Hang in there. Though treatment is devastating, the disease isn't what it used to be. There are lots of successes.

 

[midwestyankee]

Hang in there. Though treatment is devastating, the disease isn't what it used to be. There are lots of successes.

Thank you. I'm amazed at how much progress there has been just in the last third of my lifetime.

 

[HonorableRogue]

A question for all the marrieds out there, and those in long-term relationships: How often do you have sex?

And, do you consider that amount to be OK? Good? Bad? Amazing? Awful?

Me: Married 13 years
Sex: Once a month, if that, lately. Was about twice a month in the not-so-distant past.

I classify this frequency as abysmal.

Me: Married 25 years
Sex: Twice a year. Sounds bad but it used to be worse.

I classify this frequency as not so bad these days.

Still scratching your heads?

The reason it's not so bad these days is that I am only home twice a year for roughly 3 weeks at a time. So by the time I'm over jet lag from flying halfway around the world, we simply get used to being around each other again, we make time to see everyone, I work on the "Honey-Do-List" and we celebrate a holiday or other major life event there's not a whole lot of time.

Add in that the during the last of the 3 weeks we're both starting to pull back again to be able to deal with another 5 months of separation and time just ends up being short.

The other reason it's not so bad is that we've only lived this schedule for the last 5 years. Before that I was home every day and sadly we had sex at the same or even a lesser frequency. Some of it was due to unknown and untreated medical issues but most of it was due to unvoiced issues. After seeing some doctors and some counselors we're much better off as a couple now I just need to be home more.

I'm working on making that change but with some trepidation. Why? She's changing too. What I refer to as nuclear meltdown but everyone else calls menopause. I'm curious to see where things fall out for her (and us) when her reverse-puberty is over. But considering we've actually been in every category on the list over the last 25 years I'm optimistic.

The one constant in life is change.
The easy way out is to get frustrated and quit.
The better way out is to stay determined, try, fail and then try again until you succeed.
The best way out is to be passionate and keep trying even when you've succeeded.

Cheers

 

[Pelagic57]

Married 14 years in our 50's None so far this year, twice in 2014

 

[snoopydaddy59]

A question for all the marrieds out there, and those in long-term relationships: How often do you have sex?

And, do you consider that amount to be OK? Good? Bad? Amazing? Awful?


Me: Married 13 years
Sex: Once a month, if that, lately. Was about twice a month in the not-so-distant past.

I classify this frequency as abysmal.

I'm sorry to hear that Sam!! Your BEAUTY is STUNNING!!!!
As for me,and my wife, it's a big fat zero because of health issues for her and me.. that are long term issues that will keep it at zero.

 

[hoyaspartybronc]

Guess I'm in the minority here. It's a rare day that it isn't at least twice a day. And no we aren't newly weds - several years in and dated for several years before marriage.

 

[hilton1958]

Usually once or twice a week here, not really enough for me, but when I hear how seldom some of my friends get it, I feel grateful. Masturbation helps fill the gaps, and I enjoy it a lot anyway. Oh, married for 25 years.

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

After almost 20 years

Quantity: Usually couple times a weekend - sometimes more, rarely during the week due to schedules. Quality: Excellent

Good poll topic

 

[NC_OBX80]

Assuming we are in the same place (work travel etc) daily. Stupid jobs and schedules!!!

 

[AskMeVic]

On average 4-5 times a week. Some weeks it's higher, some it's lower. Typically the making love is enthusiastic. Sometimes it's "all about me." I have nothing to complain about.

 

[hilton1958]

Married 14 years in our 50's None so far this year, twice in 2014

That really sucks, I don't know how I would cope with that, I hope you have some form of safe outlet, or are you perhaps the one holding out?

 

[Elizabeth_Stark]

°°°°°°

 

[allstarhockeynut]

ten years this year, about 2-3 ties a week, still good but would like more, I am horny all the time, but 2 small kids makes it hard to find time to ourselves, I guess that's why we have date night, or something like it, lol

 

[TomKeen]

Sometimes it is just difficult to get on the same schedule so I'm not complaining. I would like the sex to be more frequent but at this point I'm just happy to have the opportunity to become intimate with my sweetheart.