How to have orgasms through intercourse

[sirensiren]

I have multiples easily when i masturbate, I need to touch my clitoris, however many men seem to want a woman to cum by their penis alone, and find it humiliating when you touch yourself during intercourse. So anyone know how to have orgasms without him noticing you're touching yourself, or managing to come without touching your clitoris..if that's possible
tips? I do kegals and i find that i can come easier when I flex..but I still need to touch myself..

 

[Straight-8]

Ask him to touch your clit. A little openess and communication about your needs will go a long way!

 

[Gypsy_Lis]

I cannot have an orgasm either unless I play with my clit or ass. It takes away my concentration during the intercourse. Have a talk with your partner and tell him what you want from him. I am sure he will be more than happy to do so for you. Good luck!

 

[sailboatracer]

Have you read Mr G's "try this and report back...." thread? My wife had a fairly hard time with it too. It never bothered either of us to touch or rub her clit while I was "inside" her, but I think I may have found a position where I can rub her G spot with the tip of my penis and if it isn't enough to make her cum, it certainly "kicks her up a notch" and she'll cum with very very little rubbing her clit. I'm working on getting better at it but half the fun is trying! It shouldnt be so goal oriented that you miss all the fun of the getting there. When I was younger and more foolish, I hope anyway, I "worked hard" to get thing to go the way of my preconceived ideas, been there, done that,now I more or less just go take it however it goes, and enjoy it for the moment.

 

[SubNebGuy]

Most men find it highly arousing and erotic when a woman touches herself during intercourse...breasts, nipples, clit, anal fingering...its all good.

there's nothing 'humiliating' about it. perhaps half your problem is your shameful view of sex, making you feel dirty about cumming.

That, and its somewhat hard to make a woman come from penetration alone. you gotta hit the right angles in the right way, or it won't happen.

The women you see in pornos having orgasms from penetration...many many many of them fake it. Porn is mostly made by men, for men, who just wanna see a chick get railed.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Personally I think you are looking at this all wrong. You're trying to find a way to correct a problem which isn't a problem at all, it's simly a natural reaction. The Clitoris is only there for one purpose, to make you orgasm, so why would using that for it's intended purpose be wrong? Hun, most women, and I do mean most, don't orgasm from penetration alone. They need some other kind of stimulation to reach orgasm, and clitoral stimulation is the easiest and most common. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

The problem is that most guys don't know HOW to make a woman cum, they just naturally start banging away and hope it works. SubNebGuy is right, porn is made for men by men and it isn't real. Not even close, really. Still this is where most of us get our first education in how to make love to a woman. So if some guy finds it humiliating that you have to touch yourself, or he has to touch you, to make you cum, then he's stupid and immature. Well, maybe not stupid, but he doesn't get it yet.

Talk to him, talk about how you reach orgasm. Let him know that it's not that he's inferior in some way, it's just that it's so much more intense for you to have BOTH the stimulation of his penis inside you and his fingers on your clit. Whether he rubs your clit or you do it yourself, it won't make any difference to you, I'm guessing.

Personally, I'm torn. I love to rub my wife's clit and see her explode, but there's little out there that I find sexier than watching her rub her own clit during sex. The only problem is she better be close to cumming when she does, because such a display is sure to set me over the edge very quickly.

 

[JamesSD]

I have multiples easily when i masturbate, I need to touch my clitoris, however many men seem to want a woman to cum by their penis alone, and find it humiliating when you touch yourself during intercourse. So anyone know how to have orgasms without him noticing you're touching yourself, or managing to come without touching your clitoris..if that's possible
tips? I do kegals and i find that i can come easier when I flex..but I still need to touch myself..

If he's humiliated by you touching your clit during intercourse he's a pussy and not a real man. Real men want their partners to come, and understand the female anatomy.

There is a way for a guy to grind against your clit while he's thrusting. It's challenging and doesn't work for every woman.

 

[rthnck]

Clit flicking is HOT!

I for one find it extremely exciting when my SO reaches down to touch herself while I am penetrating her. It always pushes me over the edge. Whatever takes you to nirvana. It's all good.

 

[SolidState]

Find a man who isn't humiliated.

 

[sirensiren]

ok!
lol, I also feel insulted when men feel humiliated that i have to touch myself to reach an orgasm...I guess that's just the way it is. And yes the G-spot is amazing and I don't need as much clit stimulation,but still I need a little

 

[FaeryFire]

The trick is making him think you are touching yourself FOR him
Another good way to do this is to press a vibrator into your clit as he enters you from behind, it ups the experience a lot for him because he can feel the vibrations and the extra movement inside you. Let him know you are doing it to please him. *wink wink* There is also the vibrating cock ring option. Does he have a birthday comming up?

Aparently only something like 30% of women can cum through intercourse, so don't feel left out *hugs* Experiment as much as you can with different positions, or insist on longer foreplay so you are ready to cum before he enters you.

There's also eXcite, but having never tried it, I can't say how good it is. Here's a link if you are curious. (If I'm not alowed to post this lemme know and I'll remove it, I'm just trying to help)

http://www.condomcountry.com.au/item/a-excite

Good luck!

 

[M's girl]

The trick is making him think you are touching yourself FOR him
Another good way to do this is to press a vibrator into your clit as he enters you from behind, it ups the experience a lot for him because he can feel the vibrations and the extra movement inside you. Let him know you are doing it to please him. *wink wink* There is also the vibrating cock ring option. Does he have a birthday comming up?

Since this seems to be your first post I first want to welcome you to Lit.

But I don't agree with your first statement. I know you "winked" and all but what's the use in making more men believe we only have to think about their pleasure? And make them believe we can cum through PIV sex when we can't?

Who are we fooling anyway if we continue to act that way?

 

[TBKahuna123]

The trick is making him think you are touching yourself FOR him

Fuck that, you shouldn't need to lie about it, you shouldn't need to justify it. If a guy is so wrapped up in his own ego that he can't accept the fact that a woman needs more stimulation to orgasm than him just ramming away with his cock, then he has no business being with a woman. It's the same way I feel about faking orgasms, it's bullshit. All it does is enable these guys and stop them from becoming decent lovers. Pleasing your partner is all about wanting to please them, listening to them and learning what gives them pleasure, and putting aside your own desire for pleasure in order to please them. What goes around comes around, and I have yet to find something a woman asked me to do for her that didn't please me in the process. We're lucky like that.

So what does this piss me off? Because I'm tired of the same question over and over again. Why can't I cum from penetration? My boyfriend is discouraged because I can't cum, what's wrong with me? Lying about it, faking orgasms, not telling young men the truth just perpetuates this cycle of women who think they are flawed some way and stops these guys from learning that pleasing a woman takes time and attention. It doesn't do anyone any good and in fact causes more harm in the long run.

Sorry FaeryFire, I'm not pissed off at you, just this trend I see. This isn't directed at you specifically, but at the belief in general that women have to somehow apologize for being normal.

 

[M's girl]

Sorry FaeryFire, I'm not pissed off at you, just this trend I see. This isn't directed at you specifically, but at the belief in general that women have to somehow apologize for being normal.

If it's a trend it's the longest one I've ever seen. As usual, Kahuna, you hit the nail right on the head. I have faked orgasms for the longest time because men did not seem to be interested in knowing what they were doing was not working for me. Some even got angry when I hinted at the possibility of not being able to reach orgasm through PIV sex. So I decided to fake it. It was easier. Also helped sustain unhealthy sexual relationships for longer times than was healthy for him or me. When I met M he was a firm believer every woman he had ever been with had been able to orgasm through PIV sex. So he also was someone who first did HIS math and came up with the conslusion there had to be something wrong with me. It took a lot of talking (and guts on my part) to finally be truthfull about it. I felt like I risked our relationship.

Maybe it takes reaching a certain age (I'm 42) and finally being able to stand up for yourself. It sounds crazy, but in a way I was willing to risk our relationship, even though M was someone I really, really wanted to be with and share the rest of my life with. But I also figured if he was not willing to accept the fact that it was more than possible that others before me had faked it with him (I mean.... if he had been with, let's say ten and statistics say that only 30% cum from PIV sex there must have been AT LEAST ONE who had faked it, right?), there was no point in taking our relationship further. You know what? I knew he had a sensible head on his shoulders and although it was not easy at the beginning (I probably sort of put his whole sexual world upside down) it made sex for both of us more interesting and a whole new journey. I bet.... and I won! That's how it feels.

 

[Eilan]

I also feel insulted when men feel humiliated that i have to touch myself to reach an orgasm

If a man feels humiliated because you have to touch yourself during sex to have an orgasm, then that's his problem, not yours. There are plenty of men out there who savor the sight of a woman who touches herself in front of them.

I don't know where some men get these ideas (porn, perhaps?), but a lot of women aren't going to have instant multiple orgasms just because there's a penis thrusting in and out of them.

Guys: If your partner needs a little extra "help" to have an orgasm--whether it's your fingers, her fingers, or a vibe--it doesn't make you less of a man. Throwing a hissy fit and acting all humiliated about it, however, does make you less of a man. It's not always about you.

BTW, welcome to Lit, sirensiren.

 

[sirensiren]

they say 30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone...I doubt this, but if they can, I wonder how they do it

 

[Eilan]

they say 30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone...I doubt this, but if they can, I wonder how they do it

For me, it's all about the position we use and the angle of penetration. It's taken me a few years (and a different partner) to get to this point.

 

[kaledonia]

I used to, but........

.....now I can't seem to do 'ordinary' orgasm any more. With my previous partner, I would cum with piv, strong and hard, but only AFTER clitoral orgasm. Dunno why (and I have researched it!) but after many joyful experiments with mr gs technique, find that I can maintain the state of bliss for hours, but never tip over into orgasms as before. I'm not complaining, in fact would probably trade this wonderful feeling for any number of quick 'o's! Oh, and my new parner joins me in that blissy state, never think its one-sided. I have never felt so close to another human being. We feel like we merge. good luck to all.

 

[RotorGirl]

Most women who like oral sex or direct clitoral stimulation do not orgasm during intercourse.

Most women who do not like oral sex or find direct clitoral stimulation to be uncomfortable do orgasm from intercourse.

Women who do orgasm from intercourse do so just because that's how they are. There is no trick to it.

Another oddity is that usually, in most cases women who have true multiple orgasms do not enjoy oral sex or clitoral stimulation. Please note that someone who is multi-orgasmic is different than someone who can have multiple Consecutive orgasms. A true multi will have them over and over until exhaustion, anything else with a pause between and they are not a true multi.

 

[rthnck]

deep enough to rock the boat

they say 30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone...I doubt this, but if they can, I wonder how they do it

Well my point of view and experience (which doesn't count for much as I am not on the receiving end) is that vaginal orgasms are usually brought about through a position that causes the penis to rub the G-spot (doggy-style would be bad for this). Of course an appropriately curved penis would be a bonus for this stimulation. Additionally deep penetration that allows the male pubic area to touch the clitoris is also beneficial.

 

[TBKahuna123]

they say 30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone...I doubt this, but if they can, I wonder how they do it

OK, my wife and I had a really interesting discussion about this. I've been with women who have orgasmed from intercourse and some who haven't. My wife is fortunate (or is it me that's fortunate?) in that she can have multiple orgasms from intercourse alone. Not always, but I would say 90% of the time she cums from intercourse. So at the risk of exploring unwanted waters, I asked if she had always cum that easily.

I was really surprised when she said no. Now I wasn't vain enough to think it was some magic technique of mine, so we really explored it. What we discovered is that for her it is almost totally mental. If the mood isn't right she might have issues orgasming. If the mood is right, she'll blast off easily. It's all very mental and emotional.

I think this is quite common. A woman's comfort level with her partner, how special he makes her feel, how much she feels that he cares about her pleasure, all seem to play a part in her ability to orgasm. If she's worrying about it or even worse, feeling pressured to orgasm, that's going to kill her mood. If she feels no pressure or worries about being unfulfilled, she's more likely to be fulfilled.

Of course, this isn't always the case, there are just some women who don't orgasm from penetration alone. Which is why, gentlemen, we need to learn to use things other than our mighty cocks.

 

[FaeryFire]

Fuck that, you shouldn't need to lie about it, you shouldn't need to justify it. If a guy is so wrapped up in his own ego that he can't accept the fact that a woman needs more stimulation to orgasm than him just ramming away with his cock, then he has no business being with a woman. It's the same way I feel about faking orgasms, it's bullshit. All it does is enable these guys and stop them from becoming decent lovers. Pleasing your partner is all about wanting to please them, listening to them and learning what gives them pleasure, and putting aside your own desire for pleasure in order to please them. What goes around comes around, and I have yet to find something a woman asked me to do for her that didn't please me in the process. We're lucky like that.

So what does this piss me off? Because I'm tired of the same question over and over again. Why can't I cum from penetration? My boyfriend is discouraged because I can't cum, what's wrong with me? Lying about it, faking orgasms, not telling young men the truth just perpetuates this cycle of women who think they are flawed some way and stops these guys from learning that pleasing a woman takes time and attention. It doesn't do anyone any good and in fact causes more harm in the long run.

Sorry FaeryFire, I'm not pissed off at you, just this trend I see. This isn't directed at you specifically, but at the belief in general that women have to somehow apologize for being normal.

Hey, no worries. For what it's worth I completely agree with you.

It just seemed to me that she'd already spoken with him about it and that he cared more about his ego than her pleasure. And I figure if that's the case why not lie to him? At least she'd be having some fun that way rather than wasteing half an hour worring that she's not good enough.

 

[sirensiren]

About the multiples I think you should read up on that, I'm sorry but there are three different types of multiples, not just one as you say. So read up more please cause your comment is very insulting Rotorgirl

 

[RotorGirl]

About the multiples I think you should read up on that, I'm sorry but there are three different types of multiples, not just one as you say. So read up more please cause your comment is very insulting Rotorgirl

I'm just going by what doctors say. If you're offended by what I said, the problem exists in you. Nothing I can do or say will change that you're somehow offended by my sharing the fact that a very small percentage of women are, by definition, multi-orgasmic. Sequential Orgasmic != Multi-Orgasmic. They are not the same thing. If you orgasm many times in a night, but they have any sort of pause between them, you are not multi-orgasmic. The proper term would be Sequential.

 

[static_pulse]

I have multiples easily when i masturbate, I need to touch my clitoris, however many men seem to want a woman to cum by their penis alone, and find it humiliating when you touch yourself during intercourse. So anyone know how to have orgasms without him noticing you're touching yourself, or managing to come without touching your clitoris..if that's possible
tips? I do kegals and i find that i can come easier when I flex..but I still need to touch myself..

may be u cud rub u cud hit/rub ur clit into the upper part of hisdick