How to safely and effectively start an affair?

[affairinohio]

I am 44years old and married. I want to find a girlfriend to romance and have

fun. I recognize this is cheating but do not care as I am so very unhappy in my

marriage. Can an affair ever be successful? Are there quality women that seek

the same thing. I fear being caught. I fear disease. I most likely will not go

far but I appreciate your input!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I am 44years old and married. I want to find a girlfriend to romance and have

fun. I recognize this is cheating but do not care as I am so very unhappy in my

marriage. Can an affair ever be successful? Are there quality women that seek

the same thing. I fear being caught. I fear disease. I most likely will not go

far but I appreciate your input!

Just a heads up, but you're really not going to find a lot of support for your 'predicament' here.

Nor advice.

Consider yourself duly warned.

 

[NippleMuncher]

You think you're unhappy now, try having an affair and getting caught!

Instead of playing games like a two year old, why don't you man up and end your marriage if you're so unhappy with it. It is the only fair thing to do, no matter how hard it might be. No matter how good or bad your partner may be, they don't deserve a cheater.

Another tact may be to seek counselling both with and without your wife to see if there's a marriage and relationship left to salvage.

 

[Noor]

My advice


but seriously why would a "quality" woman want a cheat?

 

[subwannabe]

I agree with everyone here. Why do you want to stay married? That's the real question.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Why bother with duplicity? Divorce your wife if it's so bad. Once the paperwork is through, then you can find a new girlfriend without worry about hiding it, etc.

 

[LaRocha]

There's a website just for married people who want to have illicit affairs. Most likely the women you'll meet on there are just as scummy as you, so good luck with the quality and disease-free pipe dream.

 

[ghostgurrl13]

Why bother with duplicity? Divorce your wife if it's so bad. Once the paperwork is through, then you can find a new girlfriend without worry about hiding it, etc.

Exactly. Talk to your spouse, tell them what difficulties you are having, and that you respect them enough to ask for a divorce rather than having an affair. Or go to counseling. Affairs are never the answer.

 

[bambikiller]

Sure there, is it's called devorce.
Yeah go to a marrage consular you'll still have the same problems but maybe you'll learn to live with them.
Run the numbers I did. The wife won't get shit.
I'm blue collar too poor and not rich enough to get devorced.
Devorce would really fuck up my kids life.
So I look at porn and come here once and awhile.
What are you going to do.
Jerk off and get divorced when you're sixty thats my plan, of course we,ll be too old to fuck then but no one ever said life would be easy.

 

[newideas]

Yeah, I'd just 'man_p' and ask for a divorce if your so unhappy.

 

[trojan_man_co]

I realize given the popularity of celebs to cheat lately (tiger David lettermen ect) cheating is just going to give your wife grounds to divorce you and end up with all your money in the process. Judges are far more friendly towards a victim then a cheater.... that being said if you so desire that this is the only way to go.. there are dating websites out the similar to eHarmony ect that are for cheating specifically such as there are for everything else. That being said however, i think youll find the grass isn’t so green on the other side...

 

[Somehowyou]

I feel for you buddy...44 and theres so much more. Someone mentioned counseling. I agree with this. What you need is to hop on a plane to Montreal and set up several counseling sessions. My consoling sessions are arranged by John of Eleganza's Counseling Services or Martin of Xxxtase and Martin of Asservissante and Billy or Chris of GOF. They will send a counselor over right away. For some particularly tough to diagnose problems they will send two counselors. You will enjoy the therapy and you will be cured for the time being with just a few 1 hour sessions.

This is what I recommend.

 

[infinity706]

Exactly. Talk to your spouse, tell them what difficulties you are having, and that you respect them enough to ask for a divorce rather than having an affair. Or go to counseling. Affairs are never the answer.

I wouldn't say affairs are never the answer. I've had flings that lasted a few weeks to a couple months, with a couple people, where I taught them skills that helped repair their relationship. They also got exactly what they were looking for and it didn't lead to any problems other than a little sadness over losing sex with me, when it ended. (I'm still friends with most of them) I'd recommend that someone think very hard about whether they really want an affair, though.

 

[niv78]

If you wan't to cheat then why be married in the first place? Look, I despise people who cheat on their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend, if you are going to make a commitment then keep it, you're only being selfish if you cheat.

Look, the real answer you are looking for is communication. Talk to your wife, tell her why you are unhappy and if you can't fix it, get a divorce and then you can go on all the dates you want without coming to an internet forum looking for validation of your affairs.

 

[Guest]

If you wan't to cheat then why be married in the first place? Look, I despise people who cheat on their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend, if you are going to make a commitment then keep it, you're only being selfish if you cheat.

Look, the real answer you are looking for is communication. Talk to your wife, tell her why you are unhappy and if you can't fix it, get a divorce and then you can go on all the dates you want without coming to an internet forum looking for validation of your affairs.

I agree even though I doubt the poster is going to even post again seeing all the negative response, GROW A PAIR. And its funny because I get a LOT of pms from married men or in serious relationships that are looking for something on the side. I realize that a lot of relationships are unsatisfying, but why continue something that cant get fixed?

 

[niv78]

I agree even though I doubt the poster is going to even post again seeing all the negative response, GROW A PAIR. And its funny because I get a LOT of pms from married men or in serious relationships that are looking for something on the side. I realize that a lot of relationships are unsatisfying, but why continue something that cant get fixed?

Yeah, what she said, grow a pair!

 

[whynotjustsayit]

All these people, with their fucking judgments, have never been in a relationship for which there is a multitude of reasons not to leave it, but frustrations that come from staying with it. Sometimes, cheating isn't only about hurting someone else, it isn't only about being untrue to a commitment, it's about surviving an excruciating position. So fuck you people with your high and mighty bullshit. This forum isn't a fucking church... or is it ?

 

[Noor]

All these people, with their fucking judgments, have never been in a relationship for which there is a multitude of reasons not to leave it, but frustrations that come from staying with it. Sometimes, cheating isn't only about hurting someone else, it isn't only about being untrue to a commitment, it's about surviving an excruciating position. So fuck you people with your high and mighty bullshit. This forum isn't a fucking church... or is it ?

Sometimes its just about cowardice

 

[NippleMuncher]

And its funny because I get a LOT of pms from married men or in serious relationships that are looking for something on the side.

Well CRAP!!! Who knew THAT was on the table!!!!!!

 

[NippleMuncher]

All these people, with their fucking judgments, have never been in a relationship for which there is a multitude of reasons not to leave it, but frustrations that come from staying with it. Sometimes, cheating isn't only about hurting someone else, it isn't only about being untrue to a commitment, it's about surviving an excruciating position. So fuck you people with your high and mighty bullshit. This forum isn't a fucking church... or is it ?

LOL That is so laughable! Let's just say that some of us aren't two years old and agree to disagree. When you get a little life experience, you can come back to the adult table.

It's quite an assumption on your part to think that just because someone feels "stuck" in a situation to then believe that it is then ok to cheat. You're right, there's a multitude of reasons to stay in a relationship, however, if you can't be faithful to your significant other while staying in that relationship, then the only moral option is to end that relationship. I can only speak for myself and my own experiences, and you my friend do not know of what you speak.

 

[infinity706]

We could also argue that the morality isn't that big of an issue, though. Afterall, if you want to go all biblical, both the husband and wife are obligated to provide sex for their partner, just as much as they're obligated not to cheat. That's why, up until a few years ago, you could legally sue your marriage partner to obtain sex in some of the former Puritan states. If one partner refuses to put out with some regularity, they've broken their promise as well, even though people tend to ignore that part, nowdays. It's shit like that which makes morality arguments worthless. If you're going to claim the rules should never be broken, you have to accept all the rules, not just the popular ones. Most likely, if your partner cheat on you, you're guilty of neglecting them sexually, emotionally, or both.

 

[Somehowyou]

All these people, with their fucking judgments, have never been in a relationship for which there is a multitude of reasons not to leave it, but frustrations that come from staying with it. Sometimes, cheating isn't only about hurting someone else, it isn't only about being untrue to a commitment, it's about surviving an excruciating position. So fuck you people with your high and mighty bullshit. This forum isn't a fucking church... or is it ?

How dare you challenge the self-righteous, puritanical members of this panel? The answer is never have the affair, never have the 3-sum, never see an escort. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never. This is the biggest bunch of cock blockers I have ever seen! And you breast feeding the baby... Please don't take yourself so seriously. If you knew what the hell you were talking about someone would be paying you for your advice.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Affairs are bad, mmmmkay.

Srsly, if you're that hard up for some love in your marriage, I'm sure the wife is too.

So have an open and frank discussion about your needs. Christ, if you agree to fuck other people, it's not an affair, and you still get your dick wet occasionally.

It's not that hard.

 

[george51]

So with all this moralising, and I am not about to take sides, what if this married man was talking about sexual fantasy? Or flirting? A different thing possibly. A bit of fun on the internet.

Would these things be acceptable? Is there a great difference between flirting, fantasy and reality, or would the first two also be completely unacceptable?

Just a thought.

 

[Quoll]

These might come in handy for when it all goes tits up.


The Our Marriage was Already Over Type of Cheating Excuses



Our marriage was over long before I cheated.

We're not like we used to be.


I don't love you anymore.*

We've never been right for each other.


I feel trapped.

I never wanted to get married.


I don't want to live like this.

I love you like a sister/brother.


I wanted to shake up our marriage and make it better.

You deserve better.*


I thought you didn't love me anymore.

You left me before I left you.


I was never in love with you.

Our marriage was boring.



The It's All your Fault Type of Cheating Excuses



I've told you for years why I was unhappy, but you decided to not do anything about it.

You work too much.


I thought you would change.

You don't listen to me.*


You aren't good in bed.

You don't give me any attention.


I'm tired of having to do everything around here.

You don't need me anymore.*


You put on too much weight.

You cut your hair.


You pressured me too much for sex so it wasn't fun with you anymore.

You were never really there for me when I needed you.



The It's All My Fault Type of Cheating Excuses



It has nothing to do with you.

It's not you, it's me.*


I'm unhappy.

I need some space.*


I really don't know what I want to do with my life.

I never cheated before but something just snapped.


I want to stand on my own two feet.

The other guys goaded me on and I didn't want to look like a sissy.


I have issues.

I don't why why I did it. It wasn't planned.


I didn't expect to get caught.

I'm having a mid-life crisis.*


I'm not happy. I haven't been happy for years.

I never meant to hurt you.


It's in my nature to cheat.

It's just a guy thing.



The Grass is Greener Type of Cheating Excuses



I need to have sex with others. I can't go the rest of my life sleeping with just you.

The sex is incredible. It was never that good with you.


I want to start a rock band and I would be gone a lot. That wouldn't be fair to you.

It's an addiction.


I can't help myself. *

It doesn't mean anything.*


It just happened.

He/She has an unhappy marriage, and I was filling an emotional void in his/her life.


We were just friends.*

I was curious what sex with someone else would be like.


*The ten most popular excuses.


A few I've personally heard.

"I was drunk and when I came to she was under me."

"My wife is sick."