Humor Me

[wombat9966]

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

LOL

That's about as safe as an echidna (hedgehog for you Americans) in a nudist colony.

 

[userid_unknown]

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

ahahhhhahahhaaha

 

[userid_unknown]

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

An elderly gentleman goes to the doctor complaining of having, "silent gas emissions." The doctor finally sees the man and asks what the trouble is.

"Well Doc, it's like this. I have been having a serious problem with my silent gas emissions. it's embarrassing to me. it happens at the strangest times and I am concerned about people knowing it might have been me."

The doctor asks if the man can cite some examples.

"Certainly - just today there have been quite a few. First, I went to my early morning golf game and there were lots of folks waiting at the first tee. That was the first time it happened. Then I went to church afterwards, and while seated in one of the front pews, I really let one go. Then afterwards it happened again at the library...so I decided to come here and get checked out.

When I was waiting in your lobby with all those other folks, it happened twice more, and just since I began telling you this story, it has happened twice more.

Can you help me doc?"

The doctor replied, "We'll see about that, but first I think we need to check out your hearing."

 

[MausAss]

There are three kinds of people in this world....

Those that can count.

And those that can't.

I thought there was ten different kinds of people in the world.

Those who understand binary and those who don't.

 

[wombat9966]

2 men chatting in a bar. 1 says "It's me last night drinking here. I'm changing to the Dragon."
"But that's 3 miles away," says his friend,"Why are you going there?"
"Well you buy your first drink, then the rest are free. You get a free meal and then sex at the end of the night."
"Now that sounds grand. Who told you about this place?"
"Me sister the model."

 

[userid_unknown]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/1/8/2/9/8/2/7/look-33133143297.jpeg

 

[userid_unknown]

http://www.taschen.com/media/images/480/default_exc_sext_to_sexty_04_0804231143_id_149464.jpg

 

[Mockingjay]

http://www.taschen.com/media/images/480/default_exc_sext_to_sexty_04_0804231143_id_149464.jpg

Well, adults...

 

[userid_unknown]

When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.

 

[Sundayschild]

When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.

Four is better....

 

[powermanp3]

.....

 

[WearMeWell]

http://www.taschen.com/media/images/480/default_exc_sext_to_sexty_04_0804231143_id_149464.jpg

When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.

...LOL!

 

[WearMeWell]

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist.

 

[WearMeWell]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EDmfJp83Hk4/UYUa9wJ-ryI/AAAAAAAAKos/A1Cm7Mehcog/s1600/funny-first-robin-spring-cartoon.jpg

 

[WearMeWell]

Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?

A:8Ate something

 

[userid_unknown]

http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/51f2e4cf11a49f5e0bd3aac7df69cb4e.jpg

 

[Mockingjay]

http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/51f2e4cf11a49f5e0bd3aac7df69cb4e.jpg

Cheers!

XD

 

[userid_unknown]

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally? Ever wonder why?

It's because she smells like a new truck.

 

[WearMeWell]

http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/51f2e4cf11a49f5e0bd3aac7df69cb4e.jpg

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally? Ever wonder why?

It's because she smells like a new truck.

LOL!~

 

[userid_unknown]

http://thefunniestpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/no-matter-how-hard-you-try-you-will-never-be-as-cool-as-this-duck.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

Stay Calm
http://th08.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2013/037/6/4/salt_circle_sleepover__supernatural_by_alcblueyes-d5u2u4r.jpg
And Stay Inside The Salt Circle

 

[userid_unknown]

That terrifying moment when your cat enters your room, stares at something you can't see, and runs away in panic.

 

[userid_unknown]

I'm not sick I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure.

 

[Mockingjay]

XD

Thanks for the laugh!