Humor Me

[userid_unknown]

I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so he needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have no idea!

 

[userid_unknown]

Whenever someone says to me, "Oh you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"

 

[lakesailer_mi]

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2am. the husband picked up the phone, listened a moment and then said angrily "how the hell should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"

The wife said "who was that?"

"I don't know" grumbled the husband, "some wanting to know if the coast was clear."

 

[userid_unknown]

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2am. the husband picked up the phone, listened a moment and then said angrily "how the hell should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"

The wife said "who was that?"

"I don't know" grumbled the husband, "some wanting to know if the coast was clear."

ROFLOL

 

[userid_unknown]

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.

 

[userid_unknown]

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!

 

[userid_unknown]

http://allfunnyimages.com/wp-content/uploads/funny-dyslexics-bank-robbery-joke.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

I'm holding a charity night for people that can't reach orgasm....If you can't come, let me know.

 

[userid_unknown]

http://forums.steroid.com/attachments/questions-comments-ar-rs-products/122765d1336515722-make-me-laugh-contest-image-2362545152.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

http://mannequinbusride.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/ifihadadollar.jpeg

 

[Blase]

What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

 

[userid_unknown]

http://www.funtastic-web.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/552506_496855230332641_1655404169_n.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-nNKnzqG6MlU/UW8Ffm7wtsI/AAAAAAAAI8c/cd2A58p_VLE/s640/blogger-image--1117108907.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

http://images.wookmark.com/160235_tumblr_mctu8h2bg91r9kvhio1_1280_large.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/i-got-99-problems-cuz-a-bitch-ate-one-cookie-monster.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

http://simviation.com//phpupload/uploads/1389924871.jpg

 

[Blase]

I first saw this video posted in another thread, but it's one of the funniest things I've seen in quite awhile and I think it's well worth a repost: Sir Reginald's Marvellous Organ

 

[Mockingjay]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/1907972_10152156946826840_3986801590002846881_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/t1.0-9/10157209_10152512377136055_5703825959913130864_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/1947679_855046454529672_6453623952238013386_n.jpg

 

[Stillstiff]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/t1.0-9/10157209_10152512377136055_5703825959913130864_n.jpg

Oh so true.

 

[userid_unknown]

http://hugelolcdn.com/i700/106546.jpg

 

[userid_unknown]

Richard Pryor ~ Monkeys
This is Pryor at his best live in concert.

http://youtu.be/w2JS0PSmZqw

 

[lakesailer_mi]

The dyslexic walked into a bra.

 

[userid_unknown]

http://aloiram.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/qwedsaz.jpg

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Q: What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water? A: It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

 

[userid_unknown]

http://www.greatcanadianjokebook.com/cartoon_jokes/23446530-cart%20cart%20dating%20melons.jpg