I feel pretty!

[Marquis]

Of course this is just my opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs, but I don't think it's right that you're basically saying YOU can hurl racial slurs but -I- can't.

That's fair in your eyes because you're black and I'm not?

Do you apologize to people who get offended if you say the word 'nigger'? Do you think everyone regardless of race should be treated the same? Do you think racial slurs should be either totally outright banned as what's okay to say or do you think there's context and intention to be considered?

Because it seemed in your eyes you were totally okay with saying something offensive, even though you found it offensive[/I,] even though I was doing something that in MY eyes, was much less worse than what you did.

I took both the context and intention of your statement into consideration and deemed it to be offensive. You are not obligated to give a fuck about my opinion.

 

[00Syd]

There was a group of friends in my grade during freshman year of high school whos entire relationship, it seemed, was built on racial insults and insults of physical traits. One of the boys was very short with a middle eastern heritage, one was large and black, and the third was HUGE and white. They were constantly calling each other blacky and whitey and osama and short and fat, etc etc.

And I mean, they had a strong freindship and that's great, but for me, hearing the middle eastern kid (whos name was Sam) called oSAMa wasn't even funny the first time, let alone the thousandth time.

Different people, different realtiinships. *shrug*

 

[00Syd]

I think that this clip is very relevant to the discussion at hand:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2DxyAGzGxM

From Clerks II, when Randal tries to reclaim the slur porch-monkey.

 

[satindesire]

I took both the context and intention of your statement into consideration and deemed it to be offensive. You are not obligated to give a fuck about my opinion.

Likewise. So pardon me if I don't apologize to you.

 

[Netzach]

*dies laughing*

M's uncle was "uncle Kike."

And he didn't know what it meant until into his teens.

Could we be more American a couple?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

You're talking about "chinky-looking eyes" almost as a deformity, or at least an unfortunate physical characteristic that benefits from correction.

How is this not insulting, even without the slur?

Jesus Christ, where are you from? Look at this sentence!

Got a tampon wedged there bud? How exactly is something insulting without a slur? Do yank that puppy out and use a pad with wings. The toxic shock appears to have overwhelmed your previously (as i remember if from distant past anyway) well-balanced approach.

Nobody cares whether you meant to be offensive. The shit was offensive. I don't care if there is an Asian poster in here who wasn't offended. I was offended.

If you want "end of story move on its over blah blah blah" just fucking apologize. Say, I fucked up, won't happen again.

Say it.

The only thing i've found offensive about this tangent (and i'm not limiting it to Marquis' view) are the comments ranging from "you must be careful of unintended harm from such comments" to "ooo be careful whom you say that around, or you'll get your ass kicked." i'd rather hear what's on the inside, especially if awkward. Better to get a true sense of someone than deal with yet another plastoid.

As for the advice, if you're stupid enough to say "the incorrect thing" around a group of people moronic enough to get into a physical altercation over a word, you deserve the ass kicking and they deserve the jail time for assault.

As an Asian Pacific Islander, i found no insult in her comment. When wide awake and well-rested, i'm labeled anything from Puerto Rican to salt~n~pepper; white with a dash of something unidentifiable for those unfamiliar with the term. When i'm tired, the epicanthic fold (for the geographical record, Wiki is your friend) becomes pronounced; enough so my midget asks me why i'm winking at her. During the summer months, i brown enough to be Marquis' redbone cousin. In the winter months, the skin tone varies from sallow to "white" depending on how much fat i pack on the bones.

In the end, it doesn't matter how i morph. i'm damn pretty, period. Pun intended Marquis Mark.

 

[Netzach]

So essentially in your estimation my finding a non-Chinese person calling their anatomy "chinky" offensive, is, like, totally gay.

 

[LifelongCyn]

The most blatant I encountered was having a rep of the North Carolina Dept of Education tell me, "But honey, you're not white." because grandma was Japanese. At ten or eleven years old, it was news to me.

I should explain, this was especially shocking to me because I'm not white and had never been considered white by anyone before I moved to Hawaii. However, I was raised on the mainland, which made me haole, or foreign, and pretty much ruled out ever being accepted as a just another member of society. This particular person didn't try to make that distinction, and I doubt it would have made any difference to me at the time, he just said I was too white, no other reason.

The shit that I've had thrown my way because I was an Asian kid in the midwest was usually from unofficial-type persons, and tended toward name calling and attempts at intimidation. The offical-type persons just looked the other way.

 

[clock1]

So essentially in your estimation my finding a non-Chinese person calling their anatomy "chinky" offensive, is, like, totally gay.

Oh no, you're in trouble, you said gay. Opps so did I, now see what you did, you got me in trouble.

 

[JMohegan]

So essentially in your estimation my finding a non-Chinese person calling their anatomy "chinky" offensive, is, like, totally gay.

I think he's also saying that the pregnant chick got jewed on this thread.

 

[Homburg]

I probably wouldn't consider you a hater.

I actually wouldn't call you anything, outright. But the jokes would leave an impression of you, of course. As bitter, maybe. Insecure or resentful, perhaps.

You may have other reasons for "joking on white men," but I don't know you well enough to know what they are. Which is really the point, as I see it.

The line was intended as dry humour. You've seen enough of my posts to know that I'll happily comment on damned near anything.

 

[00Syd]

I think he's also saying that the pregnant chick got jewed on this thread.

*snort*

Way to make me laugh and wake up my room mate JM.

 

[FurryFury]

I personally think using words that you know others can find offensive is unwise. It doesn't matter if you are referring to yourself or not. It doesn't matter what your intentions are or what your personal circle of friends feels it's just not something I'd want to do.

Some groups try to "take back" words and use them while making them off limits to others not in that group. I think that's not a wise thing. I understand the reasoning behind it but if a word is seen as hateful when used by certain people, adopting it and owning it in your own group just keeps it in usage.

 

[Marquis]

Got a tampon wedged there bud? How exactly is something insulting without a slur? Do yank that puppy out and use a pad with wings. The toxic shock appears to have overwhelmed your previously (as i remember if from distant past anyway) well-balanced approach.The only thing i've found offensive about this tangent (and i'm not limiting it to Marquis' view) are the comments ranging from "you must be careful of unintended harm from such comments" to "ooo be careful whom you say that around, or you'll get your ass kicked." i'd rather hear what's on the inside, especially if awkward. Better to get a true sense of someone than deal with yet another plastoid.

As for the advice, if you're stupid enough to say "the incorrect thing" around a group of people moronic enough to get into a physical altercation over a word, you deserve the ass kicking and they deserve the jail time for assault.

As an Asian Pacific Islander, i found no insult in her comment. When wide awake and well-rested, i'm labeled anything from Puerto Rican to salt~n~pepper; white with a dash of something unidentifiable for those unfamiliar with the term. When i'm tired, the epicanthic fold (for the geographical record, Wiki is your friend) becomes pronounced; enough so my midget asks me why i'm winking at her. During the summer months, i brown enough to be Marquis' redbone cousin. In the winter months, the skin tone varies from sallow to "white" depending on how much fat i pack on the bones.

In the end, it doesn't matter how i morph. i'm damn pretty, period. Pun intended Marquis Mark.

You still around, old man?

You have a midget now?

I'm not sure what else to take from your post, other than an unsupported statement of sympathy for our resident defamer, and a lengthy exposition on your phenotype.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

*only here to wave at FF*

I had planned on a really frivolous post for the thread. After all, I hadn't really read the rest of it and was going to talk about my beauty day. Then whilst in the middle of posting, I caught all of the bickering....so I didn't post it.

*head shake*

I think it's really sad that the state of the world today can be judged by the amount of vitrol aimed at someone for a word they didn't mean offensively.

*shrugs*

(And yes, I know, I know...and if I posted my take on it all, I would be called a closet racist or unfeeling or some such...when in reality...a word is a word....and only the emotions attached to that word mean anything at all.)

 

[intothewoods]

*only here to wave at FF*

I had planned on a really frivolous post for the thread. After all, I hadn't really read the rest of it and was going to talk about my beauty day. Then whilst in the middle of posting, I caught all of the bickering....so I didn't post it.

*head shake*

I think it's really sad that the state of the world today can be judged by the amount of vitrol aimed at someone for a word they didn't mean offensively.

*shrugs*

(And yes, I know, I know...and if I posted my take on it all, I would be called a closet racist or unfeeling or some such...when in reality...a word is a word....and only the emotions attached to that word mean anything at all.)

There have also been a lot of very thoughtful, respectful posts. I've enjoyed reading Syd's thoughts on this, for example. I wouldn't relegate this entire thread to vitriol, at any rate.

I also have to add that those are some weirdly specific descriptions of tampons.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

There have also been a lot of very thoughtful, respectful posts. I've enjoyed reading Syd's thoughts on this, for example. I wouldn't relegate this entire thread to vitriol, at any rate.

I also have to add that those are some weirdly specific descriptions of tampons.

Yes, I noticed Syd's words on the subject but I only read the last 25 posts...(from when I was writing the post that didn't get posted...) I just hate that words can still cause that kind of contention. It doesn't speak well for the current state of the world.

*grins about the tampon description*

 

[00Syd]

I think that the problem isn't that a word has power, words have always had a lot power and hopefully they won't lose that power (can you imagine if words became powerless? what would the world look like then?). I think that a bigger problem is that so many people (and I swear that this isn't aimed at anyone, but is a general statement) are so unaware of the world and the people around them, and don't care to be informed. I think that that lack of empathy and caring, more than anything else, is what's wrong with the world today.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

So essentially in your estimation my finding a non-Chinese person calling their anatomy "chinky" offensive, is, like, totally gay.

Actually, no. i find amusing your (general you) uproar over something that two self-ascribed owners of epicanthic folds ignored. i, nor anyone else on the receiving end of a pejorative based on race/creed/(pick your picked on trait) need someone to bear the standard of propriety if it doesn't apply to them. If i have a problem with a perceived insult, i can handle it without any help until i ask for it. You (general) assuming the need to do so is a (slanty)(/slanty) at best, truly insulting (for obvious reasons) at worst.

i make one exception to this view. If a parent/guardian/(s)he who's responsible for a minor child corrects said child for use of such an epithet, i'll probably stand up and applaud. If more did so, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

i also applaud your use of

is, like, totally gay.

in the context of this discussion assuming intended hyperbole. i've seen a series of commercials where an actor/actress ridicules (usually minor age) moron(s) for use of "gay" in the derogatory manner associated with the latest slang. While the message is appropriate, the messenger isn't my first choice. Asking a twit in the immediate family if he thought of a gay aunt thus, cut use of that bit of slang out of his vocabulary more effectively and appropriately than will ever happen as a result of a talking head.

As for the generational definitions for words, the knife cuts both ways, and i'll leave it at that.

You still around, old man?

On occasion young pup, and if you hung out more often, Gaston might actually have started sharing the brandy and cigars by now.

You have a midget now?

have had all along studly. What about you?

I'm not sure what else to take from your post, other than an unsupported statement of sympathy for our resident defamer, and a lengthy exposition on your phenotype.

Read the follow-up to Netz. Then stop and think how you'd feel if i took upon myself to defend your ethnicity, sexual predilections and (hopefully former) hankering for jamming without jimmy. You know me better, or did. i don't have a lot of sympathy for most. As for lengthy, don't make me go searching for your ancestral tree in the archives. It was used as an example and strictly for those that didn't get to see the AV that one day long ago in support of you.

*grins about the tampon description*

Hush caniskickisurasses, and wipe the drool up while thinking of all that blood. Christ woman, the moon is less than half full and waning.

 

[JMohegan]

Actually, no. i find amusing your (general you) uproar over something that two self-ascribed owners of epicanthic folds ignored. i, nor anyone else on the receiving end of a pejorative based on race/creed/(pick your picked on trait) need someone to bear the standard of propriety if it doesn't apply to them. If i have a problem with a perceived insult, i can handle it without any help until i ask for it. You (general) assuming the need to do so is a (slanty)(/slanty) at best, truly insulting (for obvious reasons) at worst.

From where I'm sitting, this has nothing to do with epicanthic folds and everything to do with use of the word "chinky."

Chink, wop, nigger, kike, whatever. As you say, take your pick.

Those are pejorative terms with a history of extremely offensive use, targeting people of Chinese, Italian, Jewish, and African American descent.

If I hear a non-member of those racial/ethnic groups using one of those words, outside the context of close friends with a mutual understanding addressing each other in private, I'm gonna speak up.

If I don't speak up, I consider myself to be giving an implicit nod to the alleged social acceptability of the terms.

 

[JMohegan]

Here is commentary from the Organization of Chinese Americans on "slant-eyed" gestures and use of pejorative terms.

At the bottom of that page is a link to a Tolerance website, urging everybody to Speak Up.

 

[Marquis]

On occasion young pup, and if you hung out more often, Gaston might actually have started sharing the brandy and cigars by now.

I've taken quite a hiatus, it's true. Things are not as simple for me as they used to be. I am becoming more introverted every day.

have had all along studly. What about you?

Are you dating a little person, literally? Why does this ring some sort of a bell?

Read the follow-up to Netz. Then stop and think how you'd feel if i took upon myself to defend your ethnicity, sexual predilections and (hopefully former) hankering for jamming without jimmy. You know me better, or did. i don't have a lot of sympathy for most. As for lengthy, don't make me go searching for your ancestral tree in the archives. It was used as an example and strictly for those that didn't get to see the AV that one day long ago in support of you.

I LOLed @ the text in bold. You do have a good memory, I'm a little touched.

My memory is not so poor that I can't recall the day your av was different. How it was in support of me does escape me however. And actually, having seen your face, I would not have thought you were Asian, maybe Greek.

 

[Netzach]

Actually, no. i find amusing your (general you) uproar over something that two self-ascribed owners of epicanthic folds ignored. i, nor anyone else on the receiving end of a pejorative based on race/creed/(pick your picked on trait) need someone to bear the standard of propriety if it doesn't apply to them. If i have a problem with a perceived insult, i can handle it without any help until i ask for it. You (general) assuming the need to do so is a (slanty)(/slanty) at best, truly insulting (for obvious reasons) at worst.

i make one exception to this view. If a parent/guardian/(s)he who's responsible for a minor child corrects said child for use of such an epithet, i'll probably stand up and applaud. If more did so, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

i also applaud your use ofin the context of this discussion assuming intended hyperbole. i've seen a series of commercials where an actor/actress ridicules (usually minor age) moron(s) for use of "gay" in the derogatory manner associated with the latest slang. While the message is appropriate, the messenger isn't my first choice. Asking a twit in the immediate family if he thought of a gay aunt thus, cut use of that bit of slang out of his vocabulary more effectively and appropriately than will ever happen as a result of a talking head.

As for the generational definitions for words, the knife cuts both ways, and i'll leave it at that.On occasion young pup, and if you hung out more often, Gaston might actually have started sharing the brandy and cigars by now.have had all along studly. What about you?Read the follow-up to Netz. Then stop and think how you'd feel if i took upon myself to defend your ethnicity, sexual predilections and (hopefully former) hankering for jamming without jimmy. You know me better, or did. i don't have a lot of sympathy for most. As for lengthy, don't make me go searching for your ancestral tree in the archives. It was used as an example and strictly for those that didn't get to see the AV that one day long ago in support of you.Hush caniskickisurasses, and wipe the drool up while thinking of all that blood. Christ woman, the moon is less than half full and waning.

I certainly respect the "don't speak on my behalf" response. That's cool. I shall search my closet for lame ass white savior girl cape and letter S. It's food for thought and a legitimate riposte.

Inasmuch as you, personally, feel offended or infantilized by it, I'm sorry. Really. I hope you don't think less of me.


I'm not trying to make some sweeping statement about everyone who could possibly fall under the umbrella of the ephithet everywhere ( I maintain this won't win you friends on Canal and Mott, not that every single person present will feel one way about it) , or be "white savior girl" more my own notion of a decent human being, which is someone who doesn't let shit she thinks is shitty slide. I had some pretty strong words when I thought the recently-divorced guy in another thread was getting a kick in the nads.

With the addendum that you also don't necessarily speak on the behalf of everyone sharing your background - God, there's nothing so tiresome as being appointed unofficial spokesperson. Nor I mine. Nor H his. Nor syd hers. We're not monolithic that way.

I'm personally perfectly happy when men say "that's totally offensive" in response to things they find sexist, or straight people call other straights out on their shit, or someone calls out anti-semitism who may not even know what Kike means. If they just walked in on a little private joke with someone who I know personally well enough to play that game with, I'll explain what's going on, not jump down their throat.

Very few people know me well enough to play that game with me. It doesn't mean I hate anyone who doesn't, just that it's fairly intimate territory. Like we might share a toothbrush. Those are my personal boundaries - I know not everyone shares them, but I relate to the person who does and that's who I tend to imagine when trying to place myself in a given situation. I can't get completely away from some of those essentials.

I don't see it as implying that I'm not capable of forming my own opinions. Or defending myself if I feel slighted. Or that someone's putting words in my mouth personally because they're articulating something that I am free to personally disagree with but I know other people would agree with. Others will feel differently.

 

[gypsy*seer]

What made me feel pretty today?

Luscious new heels I wore to step over a dead horse....

 

[00Syd]

I'm enjoying reading this thread. It's produced some genuinly interesting conversation on an important topic. So much of this forum has been fluff lately.

No offence meant to the original intent of this thread. I like feeling pretty.