hmm okay that is a valid question. i guess you are going to make this brain of mine actually turn on and start to work for a change.. damn well it was a lovely vacation while it lastedAsk around... I'm nearly always serious.
I asked the question specifically because it was "just a stupid essay" you were asked to write in a very limited amount of time. The cool thing about those fast, stream-of-consciousness essays, is that they can be a very honest reflection of core beliefs.
So, given that I tend to take things rather seriously, my first thought upon reading your "stupid essay" was to wonder if that was how you still view submission, or if your opinions/views have changed at all. Regardless, if someone close to you expressed similar beliefs, what would your reaction be?
i need this to be perfect.
- Thread starter dmetria
- Start date
ok.. well im not sure what id say to them but id probably be worried about them and tell them they should go talk to someone cause they might have unhealthy symbiotic tendencies that have nothing to do with dominance and subservience... and that there wont always be someone there to make the decisions for them.. it would be good to start practicing maybe do some exercises in decision making start off small and work your way up if its really that hard for you and while you are at hopefully a counselor or somebody could help you with those self doubt issues.. i dont know.. maybe thats what i would say but more than likely i wouldnt say anything... id just observe.. and eventually if i felt morally wrong about not saying anything id give them a card to go see one of my people.Ask around... I'm nearly always serious.
I asked the question specifically because it was "just a stupid essay" you were asked to write in a very limited amount of time. The cool thing about those fast, stream-of-consciousness essays, is that they can be a very honest reflection of core beliefs.
So, given that I tend to take things rather seriously, my first thought upon reading your "stupid essay" was to wonder if that was how you still view submission, or if your opinions/views have changed at all. Regardless, if someone close to you expressed similar beliefs, what would your reaction be?
otherwise.. i doubt id really care what their opinions were or how they lived their life.. who am i to judge, ya know? if it works for them fuck it... i dont like the term wrong thinking because it assumes that there is a right way to think.. i dont like labels... but some people might say if a person thought that way well theyd call it wrong thinking or whatever
fuck im tired
i hope what i typed made sense lol
if you couldnt follow it, dont worry about it.. my brain works weird and my words come out weirder not many people can follow my thought process lmao
but fuck it right?
posted this somewhere else
just curious any thoughts on this?
"wrists tied together above head hanging toes barely touching floor man behind with whip/etc. warm blood running down my back woman teasing my clit and pussy with her tongue/mouth/fingers while kneeling in front. woman stopping before i climax and whipping my legs in front etc. then trading places with man. man torturing my breasts/nipples while woman licks and preps my ass hole for my first ever anal penetration. man and woman start fingering both my holes...shit i could go on and on but I'm getting way too turned on lmao"
just curious any thoughts on this?
"wrists tied together above head hanging toes barely touching floor man behind with whip/etc. warm blood running down my back woman teasing my clit and pussy with her tongue/mouth/fingers while kneeling in front. woman stopping before i climax and whipping my legs in front etc. then trading places with man. man torturing my breasts/nipples while woman licks and preps my ass hole for my first ever anal penetration. man and woman start fingering both my holes...shit i could go on and on but I'm getting way too turned on lmao"
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Sounds like a hell good time. I prefer sexual SM myself. 
Where is the blood coming from, though? I'm asking because although the phrase has lots of symbolic significance, you might want to know what your practical options are.
Where is the blood coming from, though? I'm asking because although the phrase has lots of symbolic significance, you might want to know what your practical options are.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Dmtria, have you read the essay linked in my signature?
thank you stella omega i think you might just be a really good person thank you thank you
i am so glad you are here
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
Huh?
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Drama llamas in pink pajamas!
FYI? this is not twitter or facebook, it's a discussion forum. You come here to talk to other people, not so much babble to yourself.
FYI? this is not twitter or facebook, it's a discussion forum. You come here to talk to other people, not so much babble to yourself.
LMAO everything i put on here i want feed back to.. well i wonder why you keep coming back to this.. i think it entertains you.. lol well all the better thenDrama llamas in pink pajamas!
FYI? this is not twitter or facebook, it's a discussion forum. You come here to talk to other people, not so much babble to yourself.
o and ya i am still going to go through with it after all yay
i hope you know i wasn't being sarcastic.. i don't do sarcasm
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
You might want to look up "sub frenzy"... just sayin'.
EIGHT fragmented posts between 2:47 and 3:08? What on earth is there to give feedback on? Also- your response to feedback is often rather knee jerk, so what's the point?
Stella read your fantasy, and thought "hotness!" I read it and thought "wrist damage (I have a bad wrist, so I automatically go there), how qualified is the person doing the whipping, what is the OP's experience level re: pain, how badly / easily does she scar, and what health measures are being taken post-whipping?
See? Annoyingly serious, 97.9% of the time.
EIGHT fragmented posts between 2:47 and 3:08? What on earth is there to give feedback on? Also- your response to feedback is often rather knee jerk, so what's the point?
Stella read your fantasy, and thought "hotness!" I read it and thought "wrist damage (I have a bad wrist, so I automatically go there), how qualified is the person doing the whipping, what is the OP's experience level re: pain, how badly / easily does she scar, and what health measures are being taken post-whipping?
See? Annoyingly serious, 97.9% of the time.
very awesome response and all very good questions.. the answer is thats why i wanted someone experienced.. none of you are annoying... you are just you and that is okay.. thank you for the feedback... i am a little scattered ill admit... and i do do the knee jerk bit quite well but that is just me.. it is my initial reaction before i have the chance to to make myself really think objectively about what has been said.. trust me i may not have directly admitted it but this any many other posts have truly helped and enlightened me. i do not know what i am doing and i am honest about that.. i know what i want.. but not how to get it... you'll have so far helped me to realize a great many things.. foremost among them the fact that i dont have to change who i am to get what i want.. again i am truly grateful and i am sorry if i come off as a scattered brained... blunt ass bitch with a possible side of annoying naivety and whatever else... but thats just me and i really do mean no harm by it.. well damn i hope i can start making enough sense one day that i can be understandYou might want to look up "sub frenzy"... just sayin'.
EIGHT fragmented posts between 2:47 and 3:08? What on earth is there to give feedback on? Also- your response to feedback is often rather knee jerk, so what's the point?
Stella read your fantasy, and thought "hotness!" I read it and thought "wrist damage (I have a bad wrist, so I automatically go there), how qualified is the person doing the whipping, what is the OP's experience level re: pain, how badly / easily does she scar, and what health measures are being taken post-whipping?
See? Annoyingly serious, 97.9% of the time.
thanks again for your feedback and the feedback of others as well
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
Curious question... How do you KNOW you've found "someone experienced"?
well actually i haven't.. and it is because of youll that i know that.. but i tried to break it off and well... yeah that didnt go as i planned
i wish he was experienced.
i really really like him
he is experienced in some respects.. but what i want is not his cup of tea so i highly doubt he is going to know what he is doing.. do you think he could get someone experienced to help? or is that frowned upon or something?
he is experienced in some respects.. but what i want is not his cup of tea so i highly doubt he is going to know what he is doing.. do you think he could get someone experienced to help? or is that frowned upon or something?
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
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- 8,493
well actually i haven't.. and it is because of youll that i know that.. but i tried to break it off and well... yeah that didnt go as i planned
i wish he was experienced.
I'm going to rant for a minute...
In my [personal] opinion, it's somewhat useless to hand over any significant sort of control to someone, when you don't yet have the strength to control yourself. In other words, if you can't even stick to your guns and end a brief relationship (of whatever sort), how the bloody hell are you going to be strong enough [mentally, emotionally, physically] to walk away from a bad (or potentially bad) situation?
You realized he wasn't what you were looking for, for whatever reason. Great. Go team you. But I read through a 10 minute "ZOMG emo-fest" blow-by-blow that ended with you all giddy and turned on because he was going to call in 20 minutes. You know... the guy you decided wasn't actually what you were looking for?
Generally speaking, submission does not mean going all soft and squishy every time your buttons get pushed, and letting the big strong domguy assume the role of responsible adult. I would actually argue that I have ended up carrying more weight and more responsibility [as an adult who IDs as submissive] than I did before I started down this path.
Now. If you want to bottom to someone to get some experience - kick ass. Go for it. But the *safest* way to do that would probably be through a local BDSM group. Attend a few munches (non-kinky social gatherings, where kink minded people hang out and have dinner). Go to educational events at a local club. Join the TNG group in your city (BDSM aimed at people under 35). Join Fetlife and look for public events, where you can explore in a safer environment - with Dungeon Masters, and mentors in attendance. Your location lists Texas... If you are anywhere near (I'm talking hour-ish drive) to the major cities (Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio), I bet you can find ways to get involved and learn a lot about yourself, without necessarily experiencing blind *submission*.
[/rant]
Is this a "met online" thing, or an actually sat down and had coffee thing?
People aren't born knowing this shit. Especially when one of the persons involved is wanting to be whipped [to the point of bleeding]. There are tons of resources available, from munches, to lectures, to classes to weekend seminars. And (again, IMO) it's just as important for those being "done unto" to know this stuff, as the ones doing the doing.
I once refused to allow someone to be involved in a situation with my partner and myself, because the guy was dying to tie me up with the red silk scarves in his toy bag. He never once asked if I had wrist, joint or circulation issues (yes), if bondage was a trigger for me (occasionally), or if I was even interested in bondage (nope). He didn't back off until I pointed out that silk isn't the best bondage material, since the knots tend to tighten under stress... and I didn't see any safety scissors in his bag (just in case)? He told me I wasn't a real submissive; I thanked him for his assessment.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
I've really tried to stay out of this thread, but I don't want to find another BDSM fuck-up story to show up in FARK.com next week.
dmetria, if what you want is "not his cup of tea so [you] highly doubt he is going to know what he is doing," why are either of you considering getting together and doing it????
- If it's not his cup of tea, he's not going to enjoy it, unless just at the thought of ripping off a piece of young, inexperienced ass afterward.
- If he doesn't know what he's doing, you are not going to enjoy it, unless you get off on being flogged/whipped/caned/whatever by someone who's taking a chance of freakin' crippling (or worse) you. (Yes, the "toys" we play with most certainly do carry those risks.)
Go back through this thread and re-re-re-read all of Cutie Mouse's posts, and Netz's, and Stella's, and KoPilot's, and Keroin's, and most everyone else, too, but definitely those five. When you re-read them, rather than immediately thinking up arguments against what they're saying, THINK about what they're saying. If there's something with which you disagree at the moment you're reading it, copy-paste it into a Word document, then go back to thinking about it and continuing to read. Do NOT think about why you disagree with it, or how you want to answer it.
This forum is peopled by some of the most experienced, intelligent and knowledgeable practitioners of BDSM I've run acrosss in my 40+ years in the BDSM culture. They are offering you wisdom that has taken them cumulatively hundreds of years to gain. Read it, think about it, take time to let it sink into your brain, and after letting it percolate up there for a couple of days or weeks, go back to the Word doc created according to my previous paragraph and see how many of the thing you pasted in there you still want to argue about
