i need this to be perfect.

[KoPilot]

Have you ever tried exploring fantasies through writing erotica? You don't have to show anyone or post it to the Internet, but I've found that I can learn a lot about myself from the stuff I end up writing, even things I deliberately choose to include on a "trial" sort of basis. I'm doing it with verbal insults and light degradation in a story right now, actually.

It could help you figure out some specific things you might want to try casually with someone once you get yourself situated with a group or start going to play parties (which may or may not be something that you want to do).

And like Sir Winston said, you are light years away from being the dumbest person ever or whatever you said.

 

[dmetria]

Have you ever tried exploring fantasies through writing erotica? You don't have to show anyone or post it to the Internet, but I've found that I can learn a lot about myself from the stuff I end up writing, even things I deliberately choose to include on a "trial" sort of basis. I'm doing it with verbal insults and light degradation in a story right now, actually.

It could help you figure out some specific things you might want to try casually with someone once you get yourself situated with a group or start going to play parties (which may or may not be something that you want to do).

And like Sir Winston said, you are light years away from being the dumbest person ever or whatever you said.

no i haven't tried that but i do love to write props on the awesome idea.. and ya i don't think i want to go to a play party.. i'd rather it be more private.. idk maybe im wrong but i still feel i want something more intimate and besides i get embarrassed easy and i can be pretty speechless when around a group of people... i think i would freeze up and try to hide in a corner lol idk
and thank you for the not the dumbest person comment =) lol

 

[Loverskitten]

I'm very confused. Are there cliff notes for this thread?
*goes back to my champagne*

 

[dmetria]

I'm very confused. Are there cliff notes for this thread?
*goes back to my champagne*

LMAO
well i get told "Jen, I am having trouble following you right now." quite often so idk if im the best person to explain

basically i reads these books and started having hardcore fantasy's about being tied up and whips and blood and the like whatever right.. so there i am thinking "God i wish i could do this!" "i wish this was real" and i got on the internet to find more books like the ones i had read and ended up on a bdsm dating site.. i had no idea what that was but i saw that the people on there liked stuff that was painful and i thought if i can find someone to do this to me anywhere its got to be here right? so i made a profile and started chatting.. ...
well im going to skip to this page basically i was talking to a "Dom" and i was supposed to meet up with him for my first ever time with this stuff well all these people were telling me shit cause i was being a dumbass newb.. lol basically being exactly who i am right now minus a couple pages of interesting and informative reading... well it turns out i was totally in a state of sub frenzy and these kind people here helped me to number one identify what the hell sub frenzy is and number two shut up long enough to read it.. well i swear i had no idea.. yeah and so here we are now.. i might have screwed up that summary and i apologize for it but i am a little scatter brained

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm curious, dmetria...does your keyboard not have a Shift key? I ask because without capital letters in all the right places these posts are very hard to follow.

 

[dmetria]

I'm curious, dmetria...does your keyboard not have a Shift key? I ask because without capital letters in all the right places these posts are very hard to follow.

lol i use my phone most of the time and its really annoying to fix it all the time on top of all my bloody typos

 

[dmetria]

also

it doesnt help my sister constantly calls me

 

[KoPilot]

no i haven't tried that but i do love to write props on the awesome idea.. and ya i don't think i want to go to a play party.. i'd rather it be more private.. idk maybe im wrong but i still feel i want something more intimate and besides i get embarrassed easy and i can be pretty speechless when around a group of people... i think i would freeze up and try to hide in a corner lol idk
and thank you for the not the dumbest person comment =) lol

That's ok, Lit is basically the extent of my interaction with other kinky people. I was in a relationship before deciding to bring BDSM into the mix, and we're a married, exclusive pair. Idiosyncrasies ahoy, not much other people can teach us that would be all that useful beyond technicalities. In other words... I've never been to a munch of a demo or a party either, and I don't have much interest in doing so. :V

 

[dmetria]

That's ok, Lit is basically the extent of my interaction with other kinky people. I was in a relationship before deciding to bring BDSM into the mix, and we're a married, exclusive pair. Idiosyncrasies ahoy, not much other people can teach us that would be all that useful beyond technicalities. In other words... I've never been to a munch of a demo or a party either, and I don't have much interest in doing so. :V

as long as you'll are happy that's all that matters, right? =)

 

[FurryFury]

It's great to want things but it's not very realistic. And while you are waiting for "the perfect one" what are you doing? Are you learning more about life, about yourself or just waiting?

If you are just waiting, I'd say you are on the wrong track. Ideals are great but actually living and doing are better, IMO.

I want my first to be my last so he has to be perfect for me. I want it to never end. I want to never want anyone else. I want to satisfy him like no one else can, and I want him to do and be everything I need. I fantasize about this everyday.. I read and read and it only gets worse. I feel like I'm going insane. Is this ridiculous to want? Is it unrealistic? Impossible to find, even? If any of you have found that perfect someone, the one who satisfies all of your cravings, please tell me so I can hope.

 

[dmetria]

It's great to want things but it's not very realistic. And while you are waiting for "the perfect one" what are you doing? Are you learning more about life, about yourself or just waiting?

If you are just waiting, I'd say you are on the wrong track. Ideals are great but actually living and doing are better, IMO.

well i have been reading a lot and talking to people.. i am currently looking for that support they spoke of earlier, a third party who i can trust and such