"I seek like minded individuals"

[Marquis]

Well, perhaps one reason you're not getting many responses is due to the fact that when I look you up it says "profile undergoing approval." There are no words to read. I did see your primary picture that you put up, however. Here is my feedback. It both works and doesn't work for you. If you're looking for quantity in your responses it does not work because a lot of submissive women are going to be intimidated by your outfit. If quantity is more of what you want, I suggest you make your primary pic something natural-looking in street clothes but leave the second one up for those who are curious about you and browse the rest of your images. It's a good picture, however, if your intent is to filter out those who might be scared of the way you look. It's also going to filter out, unfortunately, some women who automatically equate someone wearing S&M fashion with superficiality and also draw to you their opposite, women who are hung up on physical appearance and looks.

Yeah, deciding someone isn't worth sending a note to because of their clothes is a snap judgment but when you have to wade through hundreds of personal-ad responses, which the women on collarme usually have to do as well as look at profiles, you start to think in shortcuts. Some of the submissives that won't answer you because of the pic (both from the scared group and the anti-fashion group) are probably worth getting to know.

Excellent feedback. Have you seen my pic thread?

Tell me what pic you think I should use.

 

[graceanne]

This made me laugh. One way to blow the average Oregonian's mind is to stick them for two weeks in some Southern state, and watch their paranoia escalate as every stranger they meet tries to start conversations with them. I've actually seen this in action--it's pretty funny.

LOL Oh, I bet that is funny. The truth is that I spent the first ten years of my life in the south/midwest. I can't help it, I'm friendly. Most Oregonians are not. I read a statistic somewhere that something like 75% of women in the northwest (Norther Oregon and Washington) are lonely. (For friends!)

But I've tried throwing tupperware parties and stuff, and no one came. So how can they be lonely? As far as I'm concerned, if they're lonely it's cause they're snobs, and in that case I don't feel in the slightest bit sorry for them.

 

[TaintedB]

LOL Oh, I bet that is funny. The truth is that I spent the first ten years of my life in the south/midwest. I can't help it, I'm friendly. Most Oregonians are not. I read a statistic somewhere that something like 75% of women in the northwest (Norther Oregon and Washington) are lonely. (For friends!)

But I've tried throwing tupperware parties and stuff, and no one came. So how can they be lonely? As far as I'm concerned, if they're lonely it's cause they're snobs, and in that case I don't feel in the slightest bit sorry for them.

Well, I grew up in that part of the country although I now live in a much more friendly place, thank goodness, and I don't think it's snobbery. Not sure what it is, suspicious of strangers is just something we're brought up to feel in the NW? Maybe it has something to do with the doom-of-mordor weather? At any rate, I'm really used to a very friendly atmosphere now, though, and I think it would be weird to go live there again and not have strangers constantly stopping to chit-chat or saying hi when I entered some building. I'd be just like you, too, smiling and greeting everyone and getting the weird looks. :/

 

[Aeroil]

Well you don't stutter online...

Maybe it makes you look smart!

OK, I'll stop now, you're such a good sport Aeroil. Making me feel all guilty and shit.

yay, the evil plan to make Marquis feel guilty worked . Lol, j/k, I'm actually serious when I say that I rarely have any idea what you're talking about. And that's also exactly the reason I like typing online, I don't stutter and I'm just a bad linguist in general offline.

 

[TaintedB]

Excellent feedback. Have you seen my pic thread?

Tell me what pic you think I should use.

I want to get back to you on the pics while they are still fresh in my mind. First of all am I crazy or did you once post a snapshot in some thread (may have been a bdsm one) of just you in a white shirt? I have a memory of that picture but I don't see it in your thread. Anyway, that was very a good one, whether it exists only in my imagination or not and it'd make a good secondary pic, I think.

The most intriguing pic you have (and also the safest one for someone in your profession--you guys have got to be a bit careful) to post is that one of you doing the vulcan mind meld to yourself: "hand on face." I would make that the primary pic. It's very interesting, makes a person want to see more, and it also gives you a little privacy. I'd also put up, as secondary pics, the black-shirted one where you are in profile (I never guess what I edit out) and replace the current shiny black clothing one with the one where you are in those clothes but brandishing a whip and smiling (Who knows?) . Although you're still in your scary latex-leathers, that smile makes you very approachable. The belt one is also good, but it's low compared to these others I've listed. The black-shirt-profile one is good because it does show your, um, "dark side" so to speak, but it isn't combined with any whips or chains or guns or other scary stuff so the timid ladies will find it safe to see it as hot.

Whatever you do, if you want to attract women do not post a pic of you with another submissive up there. That sort of thing discourages a great many women. For some strange reason that I don't understand a number of doms on collarme who present themselves as single post pics of themselves playing with or hugging other submissives. Maybe they think this proves to potential responders they are attractive to women but to many of us it just says that this guy has other girls and won't be interested in us, so why bother. You have to be especially careful about this because you are so good looking. A lot of women are going to DQ themselves anyway because they don't think they are up to what they imagine are your physical standards, and if you post a pic showing you with another girl it'll just make them less likely to attempt to get to know you.

Ok, on the the profile.

 

[TaintedB]

About the profile

OK, the profile. I think overall it's quite good. You are very clear about what you want. There's only one thing I would take out (or maybe rewrite)? The timid and untrusting thing. Not because I don't think you have the right to ask for that but because a lot of women that are in no way whatsoever timid or untrusting nevertheless _think_ they are that way and so will think you don't want to talk to them. (By the way, I am timid and untrusting but I don't find you intimidating, but that's probably because I've read your messages here. )

I think you should leave the rest of what you've put in the ad just as it is, it's very clear and tells women what they need to know about what you are looking for. That won't stop you from getting inappropriate responses, but in the long run it will help you from getting more than you otherwise would.

There are some things you could add to it (or add them in that blog thing they give you, if you prefer) that would make it more attractive and interesting to submissives. While I know this is primiarly about you and getting your needs met you still have to bait the hook so to speak.

1. A little better feel for your personality. The people who know you on Literotica see your personality all the time, but that isn't coming through in your ad too well. If you could write something on your profile similar to the interesting stuff you write here, it would really draw women. Hmm... Maybe this is too extreme, but if I were a single sub and I read a collarme profile that had one of those pervy poetry thread raps in it, I'd be fascinated enough to respond. Those raps are good because your somewhat misogynistic personality comes out in them, and a lot of of sub women will respond hotly to that. A few will be offended, and maybe write you nastygrams but fewer than you would think.

2. You've done a good job of describing the kinds of relationships you're interested in and a pretty good job describing sort of attitudes you want your sub to have. One thing that's missing though are the kinds of things you enjoy. I don't mean a laundry list of physical acts like that checklist collarme gives you, but if you just described one or two things that really turn you on about submissive women or something you haven't tried yet but would like to do with a partner and described them in a sexy way, you'd start to reel them in, I think.

There will be other thing you'll think of adding later for the same reasons websites have FAQs: you'll be asked certain questions in private over and over so many times that you'll put them in your ad just so you don't have to keep answering them in private. I think one question that gets asked a lot of doms (although I don't really know for sure) is what level of pain, if any, they enjoy. Sub women tend to worry about this, some of us because we're afraid you'll want more than we can take, and some of us because we have a really hard time finding someone who'll give us the degree of intensity that we need, some of us for both reasons because we're schizo, lol. :/ It'll save you time later to insert such answers to common questions into your ad in a natural form.

One more collarme tip. You may find this distateful, I don't know. To stay visible to the collarme female eye, especially to those with the short attention spans, log on several times a day, particularly during prime time (6-10pm, weekdays). The search engine always sticks those people who were most recently on at the top of its results list. That isn't a problem if someone is only searching for doms in your state as they'll probably still get to you, but a lot of subs will do a generic search, for all doms in all states, just to see what's out there. I did a search for doms in your state early this morning and there were only two pages of results. I did one again just now and there are dozens of pages of them, 5 pages of guys who logged in just today. By going in and out of the collarme page whenever you think of it, you get yourself bumped back to the top of the various search lists.

 

[TaintedB]

But I can't approach men, even if it's not a relationship type thing. I can't even approach my pastor without stuttering. *shrugs* I could spend pages explaining why I am the way I am, but I doubt you all want to hear it. lol

All this talk of not being able to approach people who attract us is reminding me of this great song I heard for the first time last year
on one of those online bdsm radio stations, of all places.

Anyone familiar with "Would you..." by Touch and Go? LOL, it's our theme song (yes count me in among those who can't approach first). I find it nervewracking just to listen to that song because it brings me straight up against my social fears. :/

 

[Marquis]

Wow, thanks for all of your input TaintedB. I will be making some changes according to your advice soon.

 

[Krinaia]

I just received a message from some misguided tool you told me that i was "going to suck his dick".


<sigh>

<bangs head against wall>

 

[DVS]

I just received a message from some misguided tool you told me that i was "going to suck his dick".


<sigh>

<bangs head against wall>

Tell him you have cronic hiccups and last time that happened, you bit the thing off. Then tell him, with medication, the sickness is under control now, but you sometimes forget to take your pills.

 

[Aeroil]

Tell him you have cronic hiccups and last time that happened, you bit the thing off. Then tell him, with medication, the sickness is under control now, but you sometimes forget to take your pills.

hahaha, DVS you truly do live up to your name.

 

[D's mariposa]

DVS, you should rent yourself out as an advisor or something to the folks with these ads.

 

[cellis]

I am so not good at this starting over thing. I updated my profile at alt.com. I get emails from people who cannot read but this is to be expected. There are however a couple of responses that seem promising. One is moving at just the pace I expect... share email addys and first names and email back and forth. The other begins ok but by the second email is demanding photos. I have no problem sharing photos, but I want to develop a certain level of trust before I share them and I am not going to send them to alt. This one invites me for coffee yesterday and I reply that I am working and ask for a rain check. This is the response I found when I got home.


My frree time is very precious to me and I don't give it away easily!!a few fmails is fine..I only know of a few occupations that worl 24 hours aday.. so good luck in your search...


I was at a loss, understandably.... and mind you, I don't know his name, email address or phone number.

 

[graceanne]

Tell him you have cronic hiccups and last time that happened, you bit the thing off. Then tell him, with medication, the sickness is under control now, but you sometimes forget to take your pills.

*giggles*That's aweful. I love it!

 

[Etoile]

I just received a message from some misguided tool you told me that i was "going to suck his dick".


<sigh>

<bangs head against wall>

Awwww, you didn't like my message?!

 

[SweetDommes]

And now skyline has turned into the troll

"i want to suck your cock, i will buy you a plane ticket to greenland so i can come beat you while lick my floor clean? i didn't read your profile, because i innately know that you will want me... mwahahahahaha "

good thing I like you sky

 

[DVS]

I am so not good at this starting over thing. I updated my profile at alt.com. I get emails from people who cannot read but this is to be expected. There are however a couple of responses that seem promising. One is moving at just the pace I expect... share email addys and first names and email back and forth. The other begins ok but by the second email is demanding photos. I have no problem sharing photos, but I want to develop a certain level of trust before I share them and I am not going to send them to alt. This one invites me for coffee yesterday and I reply that I am working and ask for a rain check. This is the response I found when I got home.


My frree time is very precious to me and I don't give it away easily!!a few fmails is fine..I only know of a few occupations that worl 24 hours aday.. so good luck in your search...


I was at a loss, understandably.... and mind you, I don't know his name, email address or phone number.

What bugs me about some people is they are so quick to judge. One sentence triggers a "sorry, not interested" or "thanks but no thinks". We're talking about humans, here. Humans have lives, resposibilities to work, car problems, medical issues to deal with, family situations, they need to sleep, eat, do laundry, and on and on. How in the world could he be so sure he was right about you, after just a few emails? If you ask me, he had no intentions of making much of a commitment in the first place, if he was so quick to let this one slide away.

 

[Krinaia]

Tell him you have cronic hiccups and last time that happened, you bit the thing off. Then tell him, with medication, the sickness is under control now, but you sometimes forget to take your pills.

hmmm.... i'd hate for nasty rumors to get out about me though

 

[Krinaia]

Awwww, you didn't like my message?!

dang.... if i had known it was you, i would have offered to lick your floor clean while you beat me

 

[cellis]

What bugs me about some people is they are so quick to judge. One sentence triggers a "sorry, not interested" or "thanks but no thinks". We're talking about humans, here. Humans have lives, resposibilities to work, car problems, medical issues to deal with, family situations, they need to sleep, eat, do laundry, and on and on. How in the world could he be so sure he was right about you, after just a few emails? If you ask me, he had no intentions of making much of a commitment in the first place, if he was so quick to let this one slide away.

Thanks DVS Oh Domly One.....


This one is too much. I wrote back saying I did not understand his attitude and this is the response I get.


as you can see I'm very Dom and have little or no patiance(sp) when i ask for something ,I expect it.... when are you free to meet??? and send me some pics!!! Larry


I really want to write back and tell him that is not Domly just being an asshole!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<snip>
This one is too much. I wrote back saying I did not understand his attitude and this is the response I get.

as you can see I'm very Dom and have little or no patiance(sp) when i ask for something ,I expect it.... when are you free to meet??? and send me some pics!!! Larry

I really want to write back and tell him that is not Domly just being an asshole!

Your desire seems perfectly reasonable to me... go for it!

 

[DVS]

Thanks DVS Oh Domly One.....


This one is too much. I wrote back saying I did not understand his attitude and this is the response I get.


as you can see I'm very Dom and have little or no patiance(sp) when i ask for something ,I expect it.... when are you free to meet??? and send me some pics!!! Larry


I really want to write back and tell him that is not Domly just being an asshole!

I'm sorry, that is NOT being a Dom. He's just a control freak, and it sounds like he's also bad news. He probably has high blood pressure and grinds his teeth at night, too.

Write back and correct his spelling. He's so impatient he can't take the time to spell check his messages? Oh, and send him some toothpics. He seems to really need 'em. After all, he said he expects something when he asks for it. Sorry, couldn't resist. It just bugs me when I see how some so called "Doms" act. At least he did say he's sorry. That's something.

 

[witcha]

Got an amazing message from a guy on alt...Am I crazy for not replying or what??

Dear lttle Sexslave,
This will give you time to consider your decision and if you choose to go through with this transformation into a sex slave give you time to take care of what you will need to have done and learn what I expect you to learn before our first visit.
Before you will be allowed to serve me and before I will spend anymore of my time working with you I expect you to know the following rules finish the to do list. So read on and get busy or dot bother showing up. Each sex slave training session I will teach you something new and you are expected to know and remember it in future sessions.

More but not all rules

SEX SLAVE name will be slave toy
SEX SLAVE will unless otherwise directed will always be on all fours when in the same room as your Master
SEX SLAVE will always be groomed and freshly shaven for your Master. includes your pussy
SEX SLAVE will unless otherwise directed wear the sex slave collar
SEX SLAVE will expect punishment at Masters discretion when rules are broken
SEX SLAVE holes are always available to the Master
SEX SLAVE will obey her Masters commands with out hesitation
SEX SLAVE will learn and be able to execute position commands
SEX SLAVE will not climax with out permission to do so
SEX SLAVE will keep her body fit and healthy for her Masters pleasure.
TO DO

SEX SLAVE is to write a one page typed letter to her Master begging for training and explaining to him why the slave is worthy of his attention. This letter should be delivered in 4days
SEX SLAVE is to throw out all her nylons, and never wear them again while under my ownership
SEX SLAVE is to immediately shave all hair from her slave cunt, I don't want you showing up her with a rash. I will inspect you for hair I should find none
SEX SLAVE will throw out any and all sex toys and abstain from masturbation unless directed to
SEX SLAVE will spend a hour for the next three days trying to deep throat a medium size cucumber
SEX SLAVE will purchase a 4inch butt plug and wear it to bed at night untill directed otherwise
SEX SLAVES holes will all be available to the Master, meaning you will give yourself an enema before our sessions.
SEX SLAVE while in training will wear red finger nail polish on fingers and toes.
SEX SLAVE will have no sexual contact with anyone but her Master unless directed by her Master.

Master X








what annoys me the most is the fact I do state on my profile i'm a sub..not slave and I'd tell him where he can stick that cucumber...

 

[SweetDommes]

SEX SLAVE will throw out any and all sex toys and abstain from masturbation unless directed to

SEX SLAVE will purchase a 4inch butt plug and wear it to bed at night untill directed otherwise

Perhaps you should reply back and point out to him that a butt plug is a sex toy, and since you are not to have any sex toys, but are supposed to have this butt plug, you need some clarification, since he's obviously confused LOL

 

[witcha]

Perhaps you should reply back and point out to him that a butt plug is a sex toy, and since you are not to have any sex toys, but are supposed to have this butt plug, you need some clarification, since he's obviously confused LOL

Trust me..won't message him back..This one guy on alt was harrassing me with e-mails and ims almost all Saturday...He seemed nice,we exchange a few messages and gave him my yim name..then it only got worse..I blocked him and all..but soon after that he messaged me from 2 DIFFERENT accounts on alt

And you wouldn't believe it..He wanted me to be his slave too..and move in with him straight away





witcha