If You Met The Litster Above You In a Dark Alley, WWYD?

[PotNoodle79]

This is the most shocking thing I've seen in here in a while. *faints*

Why?

Also, a fork is better for my poor broken fingers.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

I mean you can have it and all

You're so easy.

as long as I get to keep the tower section...

Absolutely not.

Thats where me and HR girl are continuing our love affair that the great ones will write stories about..

Does she know you're fantasizing her in your tower in place of your hand? I mean, this feels like an HR problem all on its own.

I won't be giving that part up without a battle

You can jerk off to your fantasies anywhere. Except in any part of my new keep.

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

@Shymidwestgirl summon the dragon... we have yet another interloper

 

[metrifonate]

Give them a doggy treat

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

Give them a doggy treat

Thanks bro... I will take the whole bag and feed them to my hounds.

 

[Shymidwestgirl]

Grabs broom sweeps up ash ~~Drago has done his work . sprinkles fairy dust and sprinkles to being light and fun back to this place. Spots @LordofDargaardkeep and sees all is safe again.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Really?
I mean you can have it and all the responsibilities that go with it as long as I get to keep the tower section...
Thats where me and HR girl are continuing our love affair that the great ones will write stories about.. I won't be giving that part up without a battle

Be careful. I seen this before. You let one brat in and before you know it….BAM Bratfestation!

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

Be careful. I seen this before. You let one brat in and before you know it….BAM Bratfestation!

Especially that one!
She is like the ring leader and already associates with members of the sisterhood...
There won't be any wallets or trousers left on anybody visiting this place soon

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Especially that one!
She is like the ring leader and already associates with members of the sisterhood...
There won't be any wallets or trousers left on anybody visiting this place soon

Or notebooks! She’s a troublemaker!

 

[dawn_of_night]

*unicorn confetti*

*waves hands*

 

[JDub86]

Tell him I forgot to shave my pits and ask him what he’s going to do about it

Smile and ask if there’s anything else that’s not shaved?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Smile and ask if there’s anything else that’s not shaved?

This is an introductory post for the record books.

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

Smile and ask if there’s anything else that’s not shaved?

hand him a bottle of water... apparently he is thirsty and late for the party

 

[JDub86]

hand him a bottle of water... apparently he is thirsty and late for the party

Story of my life….

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Tell him I forgot to shave my pits and ask him what he’s going to do about it

In case you require this.

@SalaciousMonkey22
And fellow Litsers. Please use the form below as needed.

NOTICE OF BOUNDARY ENFORCEMENT
RE: Prematurely Thirsty Commentary Violation

To Whom It Clearly Concerns,

This correspondence is issued on behalf of [INSERT NAME], who would very much like to enjoy their online presence without being catapulted into unsolicited thirst traps every time they post a photo.

While we understand that beauty can be... disorienting, effective immediately, you are asked to pause all sexually suggestive or self-love-related commentary unless you meet the following minimum eligibility standards:

1. Post Count: At least 100 posts under your belt. If you're new here, get cozy and contribute first.

2. Reputation Ratio: A 1:1 positive reaction-to-post score. If you can’t win the crowd, you don’t get backstage access.

3. Social Foreplay: A minimum of five (5) friendly, non-horny interactions with [INSERT NAME]. Yes, that means talk to them like a person first—wild, I know.


Failure to meet these criteria will result in your comments being mentally filed under “bold but irrelevant.”

This isn’t a rejection—it’s a redirection. You’re not being shut down, just asked to show up with more than a pulse and a keyboard.

Thank you for your anticipated compliance, charm, and discretion.

Warmest (but not that warm) regards,

LilMiss
Head of Litigation & Passive Aggression
Law Office of Chaos & Spite
1-800- PETTY-4U

 

[EyesOnHers]

hand him a bottle of water... apparently he is thirsty and late for the party

It's okay we have 'special' water at the speakeasy

Story of my life….

Hey, you're new... let me show you around. You can trust me

 

[EyesOnHers]

In case you require this.

Your warnings are affecting my business!

 

[JDub86]

It's okay we have 'special' water at the speakeasy


Hey, you're new... let me show you around. You can trust me

Clearly some things to learn. Happy to let you show me around.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Your warnings are affecting my business!

Business is a funny word for it

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Share some hot goss!

 

[EyesOnHers]

Business is a funny word for it

Running an underground den of pickpockets and a speakeasy is serious business, sir!

 

[EyesOnHers]

Share some hot goss!

Let her know the speakeasy is open early for drinks.
2 for 1 offer for the ladies

Blokes welcome if they still have their wallets but drinks likely to be spiked

 

[JustDave478]

Let her know the speakeasy is open early for drinks.
2 for 1 offer for the ladies

Blokes welcome if they still have their wallets but drinks likely to be spiked

I'd probably freeze at first...but I do have my wallet, so there's that...

 

[jonnoback]

Running an underground den of pickpockets and a speakeasy is serious business, sir!

Always knew that Fagin was lurking around here somewhere but he seems disguised as Nancy

 

[CuriousCat89]

I'd remind him that he's not just Dave. He's much more!

Edit: too slow!
I'd remind him that he's also not just dave.