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perdita said:
Okie dokie my luvver, I've got yer back covered... GO GO GO!
Munch them mangy maggots.
Lieutenant Lou-lou
Ps. We pronounce the lieu bit 'lou' over here, not 'lef'. Gawd knows why.
I'm Declaring War on the Author's Hangout
- Thread starter Purple Haze
- Start date
Okie dokie my luvver, I've got yer back covered... GO GO GO!
Munch them mangy maggots.
Lieutenant Lou-lou
Ps. We pronounce the lieu bit 'lou' over here, not 'lef'. Gawd knows why.
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Tatelou said:
Lou-lou lerv (or lerf), I will never get your counties straight.
Maggots, eh? LOL and choking,
Purditta
p.s. I think your hair is sexier than your cleavage.
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April said:
Good effort, but now it's deadwood. I'm ravishingly hungry, where's the rest of your lot got to?
Lieutenant Lou.
Ps. Thank you Purrditta, I only wish you could run your fingers through it...
RosevilleCAguy
Unsane
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2002
- Posts
- 12,331
Denizens of the Author's Hangout.
Mein Fuhr...I mean, Purple Haze has ordered this terminology attack.
May God, or whatever you believe in, have whatever mercy he/she/it is inclined to grant your souls, assuming that your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, support such a concept.
SWOOPS IN
arrow n: The penis.
baloney n: A large penis.
beaver cleaver n: The penis.
beef bayonet n: The penis.
bishop n: The penis. Refers to the glans of the penis, which is said to resemble a bishop's miter in shape.
boner n: An erection of the penis.
choad n: A penis.
cock n: A penis.
dick n: A penis.
dong n: A penis.
dork n: The penis.
goolies n: The testicles.
hard-on n: An erect penis.
hose n: A penis.
Johnson, John Thomas n: A penis.
knob n: The glans of the penis.
lap taffy n: A penis.
meat n: The genitals.
nuts n: Testicles.
pecker n: A penis.
peter n: A penis.
pipe n: A penis.
pork sword n: The penis.
prick n: A penis.
pud n: A penis.
schlong or shlong n: A penis.
shaft n: The penis.
stiffy n: An erect penis.
tackle n: The male genitals.
tallywacker n: A penis.
trouser snake n: A penis.
wedding tackle n: The male genitals.
wood or woody n: An erection of the penis.
Mein Fuhr...I mean, Purple Haze has ordered this terminology attack.
May God, or whatever you believe in, have whatever mercy he/she/it is inclined to grant your souls, assuming that your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, support such a concept.
SWOOPS IN
arrow n: The penis.
baloney n: A large penis.
beaver cleaver n: The penis.
beef bayonet n: The penis.
bishop n: The penis. Refers to the glans of the penis, which is said to resemble a bishop's miter in shape.
boner n: An erection of the penis.
choad n: A penis.
cock n: A penis.
dick n: A penis.
dong n: A penis.
dork n: The penis.
goolies n: The testicles.
hard-on n: An erect penis.
hose n: A penis.
Johnson, John Thomas n: A penis.
knob n: The glans of the penis.
lap taffy n: A penis.
meat n: The genitals.
nuts n: Testicles.
pecker n: A penis.
peter n: A penis.
pipe n: A penis.
pork sword n: The penis.
prick n: A penis.
pud n: A penis.
schlong or shlong n: A penis.
shaft n: The penis.
stiffy n: An erect penis.
tackle n: The male genitals.
tallywacker n: A penis.
trouser snake n: A penis.
wedding tackle n: The male genitals.
wood or woody n: An erection of the penis.
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2002
- Posts
- 7,076
Where's the Haiku squadron when you need 'em?
This seemed particularly appropriate for a war.
Deck Of Cards
During the early 1970's a bunch of eager and willing young men had been taken to a sound stage outside Manchester to shoot a porno film. After a tiring morning several of the men were called back for the orgy scene in the afternoon. Inside a large trailer, after they had been given the outline for the scene by the director the fluffing was taken up. Those of the boys who had 'jazz mags' took them out, but this one boy had only a deck of cards and so he spread them out. The Directors runner saw the cards and said "Long John, put those cards away". After the afternoon shoot the boy was taken before the Producer of the film.
The producer said, "Why have you brought this extra before me?"
"For playing cards when he should have been making wood sir."
"And what have you got to say for yourself boy?"
"Much sir" replied the extra.
The Director said "I hope so, for if not I shall make sure you never put your dick in one of my starlets again".
The extra said "Sir, I've been on the nest for about six days, I had neither 'jazz mag' nor 'Tijuana bible' but I hope to satisfy you sir with the debauchery of my intentions" With that the boy started his story.
"You see sir, when I look at the Ace of Spades it reminds of a naked, unshaven woman laid before me.
And the Deuce reminds me that it takes two to make a fuck scene.
And when I see the trey I think of double penetration, two into one.
And when I see the four I remember that foreplay can get me hard and my opposite number wet
And when I see the five I am reminded that it takes all five fingers for a fisting.
And when I see the six, it reminds me of the nine, which makes up 69.
When I see the seven, it reminds me that Debbie did all Dallas in just seven days.
And when I see the eight it reminds me of the figure of a bbw.
When I see the ten, that's the perfection I aim for in a pop-shot.
When I see the King it reminds me that there is but one John Holmes.
And when I see the Queen I remember that I have done "gay for pay"
And the Jack is what I need to do before the cameras roll.
When I count the number of spots on a deck of cards, I find 365, the number of spots of cum in a good facial.
There's 52 cards, the same as the number of women I've fucked… last week.
There's four suits, the number of films made in a week.
There's twelve picture cards, the number of stag loops in a month.
There's 13 tricks the number of men a woman gets through in a morning shoot.
So you see sir my pack of cards serves me as a Playboy, a Penthouse and a Rustler. Plus the fact that there are pictures of naked woman on every card."
With that the Director said "ok then"
And that my friends is a true story. I know. I was that extra.
Gauche
This seemed particularly appropriate for a war.
Deck Of Cards
During the early 1970's a bunch of eager and willing young men had been taken to a sound stage outside Manchester to shoot a porno film. After a tiring morning several of the men were called back for the orgy scene in the afternoon. Inside a large trailer, after they had been given the outline for the scene by the director the fluffing was taken up. Those of the boys who had 'jazz mags' took them out, but this one boy had only a deck of cards and so he spread them out. The Directors runner saw the cards and said "Long John, put those cards away". After the afternoon shoot the boy was taken before the Producer of the film.
The producer said, "Why have you brought this extra before me?"
"For playing cards when he should have been making wood sir."
"And what have you got to say for yourself boy?"
"Much sir" replied the extra.
The Director said "I hope so, for if not I shall make sure you never put your dick in one of my starlets again".
The extra said "Sir, I've been on the nest for about six days, I had neither 'jazz mag' nor 'Tijuana bible' but I hope to satisfy you sir with the debauchery of my intentions" With that the boy started his story.
"You see sir, when I look at the Ace of Spades it reminds of a naked, unshaven woman laid before me.
And the Deuce reminds me that it takes two to make a fuck scene.
And when I see the trey I think of double penetration, two into one.
And when I see the four I remember that foreplay can get me hard and my opposite number wet
And when I see the five I am reminded that it takes all five fingers for a fisting.
And when I see the six, it reminds me of the nine, which makes up 69.
When I see the seven, it reminds me that Debbie did all Dallas in just seven days.
And when I see the eight it reminds me of the figure of a bbw.
When I see the ten, that's the perfection I aim for in a pop-shot.
When I see the King it reminds me that there is but one John Holmes.
And when I see the Queen I remember that I have done "gay for pay"
And the Jack is what I need to do before the cameras roll.
When I count the number of spots on a deck of cards, I find 365, the number of spots of cum in a good facial.
There's 52 cards, the same as the number of women I've fucked… last week.
There's four suits, the number of films made in a week.
There's twelve picture cards, the number of stag loops in a month.
There's 13 tricks the number of men a woman gets through in a morning shoot.
So you see sir my pack of cards serves me as a Playboy, a Penthouse and a Rustler. Plus the fact that there are pictures of naked woman on every card."
With that the Director said "ok then"
And that my friends is a true story. I know. I was that extra.
Gauche
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Pffffft!April said:
Next?
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2001
- Posts
- 30,254
Plural for Penis is Penes. Pronounced Pee-Knees...
http://www.elhinodoro.com.ar/humor/imagenes/cenadelorena.jpg
http://www.elhinodoro.com.ar/humor/imagenes/cenadelorena.jpg
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Lou-la-la,Tatelou said:Thank you Purrditta, I only wish you could run your fingers through it...
My fingers are poised.
Purrrrrrrr
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2001
- Posts
- 30,254
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Vaginae Dentatae
Calling in the reserves:
Calling in the reserves:
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perdita said:Lou-la-la,
My fingers are poised.
Purrrrrrrr
Hold that pose. I'll be in need of some attention after this war is won...
Here's an excerpt from one of my stories, which I thought was quite apt for the cause.
The Letting
By Tatelou
It was unusually cramped in The Hourglass that night, even for a Friday. The bar was five deep, with people waiting to be served. Dave lost sight of his mates, he’d been sent to get the next round in, while they sat and eyed up the local talent. They were all ready for some action; they’d had a tough week. The regime was getting tougher, night exercises were now common practice. The only incentive to keep them going was their pride. They knew they’d be the proud wearers of Green Berets within a matter of weeks; that’s all that mattered to them. Well, almost. What really mattered to them tonight was getting laid.
The noise was deafening, even to Dave, whose hearing was accustomed to the pounding of artillery fire blasting through his eardrums. The undertones of the bass in the music could be felt through his teeth. The excited ramblings of those around him converged into one inhuman sound. The heady scent of dozens of different perfumes, masking the underlying aroma of sweat made him feel nauseous. The strobe lighting only added to his discomfort. It felt to him like he was on a battlefield, everyone fighting to have a good time, and walk away with the prize of a good fuck.
He hadn’t even made it to the bar, when she walked in. Her mere presence commanded silence from the revellers. In a simultaneous movement all heads turned to face her, as if she were the star attraction in a show. She didn’t acknowledge anyone, just kept her gaze fixed straight ahead, floating across the room as if on a cushion of air. As she passed Dave he averted his eyes, somehow he thought it would be rude to attempt eye contact. She was close enough to touch, to smell. He didn’t know what fragrance he expected from her, but something much cleaner and fresher than was the reality. She looked pure, even innocent, dressed from head to toe in a pale blue, floating organza dress, her long brown hair streaming out behind her. She had the appearance of being in a wind tunnel, but the air was still, almost suffocating and it smelled of death.
Lieutenant Lou
champagne1982
Dangerous Liaison
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2002
- Posts
- 7,672
of misogyny and wars
Why has no one pointed out to the penile implants from the general board that all they fear is embodied by what they seek most to hide themselves in?
I plan on keeping any penises (this is the correct plural form of this word, the root being penis the plural suffix the -es) I find buried deep in my foxhole, thankyou very much.
Why has no one pointed out to the penile implants from the general board that all they fear is embodied by what they seek most to hide themselves in?
I plan on keeping any penises (this is the correct plural form of this word, the root being penis the plural suffix the -es) I find buried deep in my foxhole, thankyou very much.
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Re: Vaginae Dentatae
Vaginae Dentatae: Purrditta, my love, that is brilliant. I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes.
Your Lieutenant Lou-lou.
perdita said:
Vaginae Dentatae: Purrditta, my love, that is brilliant. I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes.
Your Lieutenant Lou-lou.
RosevilleCAguy
Unsane
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2002
- Posts
- 12,331
Tatelou,
Mein Fuh...er, Purple Haze proposes an end to the unspeakable horrors of this conflict.
Send him a nekkid pic and agree to come along quietly to the peace talks located in a secluded bungalow in a location known only to him and the war will cease.
The key to peace is in your hands, or should be once you reach the secluded location.
Signed.
Ambassador RCAG, on behalf of Der Purplemeister.
Mein Fuh...er, Purple Haze proposes an end to the unspeakable horrors of this conflict.
Send him a nekkid pic and agree to come along quietly to the peace talks located in a secluded bungalow in a location known only to him and the war will cease.
The key to peace is in your hands, or should be once you reach the secluded location.
Signed.
Ambassador RCAG, on behalf of Der Purplemeister.
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RosevilleCAguy
You pussy. You wuss. You twat. You girl.
LOL from Lou-lou's gal,
Generalissima Purrditta
You pussy. You wuss. You twat. You girl.
LOL from Lou-lou's gal,
Generalissima Purrditta
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RosevilleCAguy said:
Hahaha! I laugh in your faces, I spit at your feet. You are not worthy to gaze upon my naked form.
A few of the guys and gals around here on the other hand...
Defiantly,
Lieutenant Lou.
RosevilleCAguy
Unsane
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2002
- Posts
- 12,331
Re: RosevilleCAguy
Hey I'm just the fucking ambassador.
Wanna come to the embassy and see my etchings?
perdita said:You pussy. You wuss. You twat. You girl.
LOL from Lou-lou's gal,
Generalissima Purrditta
Hey I'm just the fucking ambassador.
Wanna come to the embassy and see my etchings?
RosevilleCAguy
Unsane
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2002
- Posts
- 12,331
Tatelou said:Hahaha! I laugh in your faces, I spit at your feet. You are not worthy to gaze upon my naked form.
A few of the guys and gals around here on the other hand...
Defiantly,
Lieutenant Lou.
How did you know he was into that sort of thing?
Right then. I'll tell him you accepted right after I show the Generalissima my "Rampant Stallion" etching.
Cheerio and all that other stuff the english people purportedly say.
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Re: Re: RosevilleCAguy
Pffffft!
Tell the purple prick to cum all by himself.
Ooh, we're trembling in our thongs.
"Master" Sargeant Purrditta
You think we go by the Geneva conventions?RosevilleCAguy said:
Pffffft!
Tell the purple prick to cum all by himself.
Ooh, we're trembling in our thongs.
"Master" Sargeant Purrditta
pop_54
The young Aviator LOL
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2003
- Posts
- 6,893
Hmmmmmmmmm
Seem to have wandered into a lady thing again, Hmmm!!!
OK hoist the Jolly Roger, let's 'Roger' some GB types.
My cannon is loaded and ready to fire a broadside across the forum's.
Take that you swine's:
There was a young lady from the Azore.
Who's twat was so diseased and sore.
Dogs in the street ate the lumps of green meat.
That fell in clods from the whore.
pops..............
Seem to have wandered into a lady thing again, Hmmm!!!
OK hoist the Jolly Roger, let's 'Roger' some GB types.
My cannon is loaded and ready to fire a broadside across the forum's.
Take that you swine's:
There was a young lady from the Azore.
Who's twat was so diseased and sore.
Dogs in the street ate the lumps of green meat.
That fell in clods from the whore.
pops..............
RosevilleCAguy
Unsane
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2002
- Posts
- 12,331
Re: Re: Re: RosevilleCAguy
Are you a friggin' Generalissma or a Sergeant?
Trembling in your thongs is good. You jiggle so devinely.
The purple prick cums by himself all the time. That seems to be the main thrust of this war.
Geneva whatever.
Now, about those etchings.
perdita said:You think we go by the Geneva conventions?
Pffffft!
Tell the purple prick to cum all by himself.
Ooh, we're trembling in our thongs.
"Master" Sargeant Purrditta
Are you a friggin' Generalissma or a Sergeant?
Trembling in your thongs is good. You jiggle so devinely.
The purple prick cums by himself all the time. That seems to be the main thrust of this war.
Geneva whatever.
Now, about those etchings.
