I'm Declaring War on the Author's Hangout

[Guest]

How did you know he was into that sort of thing?

Right then. I'll tell him you accepted right after I show the Generalissima my "Rampant Stallion" etching.

Cheerio and all that other stuff the english people purportedly say.

Oh, resorting to cheap lies now, are you? Scared to go back without a result, eh? Have a fun time with your imagination tonight.

I AM HUNGRY! Gimme more penises, now!

Lieutenant Lou.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Oh, resorting to cheap lies now, are you? Scared to go back without a result, eh? Have a fun time with your imagination tonight.

I AM HUNGRY! Gimme more penises, now!

Lieutenant Lou.

My lies are NEVER cheap.


He proposes giving you a penis.


Several times, in fact.

 

[TheEarl]

I'd like to refute the claim that the US members of the Author's Hangout saved our English arses in the conflict. I mean sure, the US helped, but it was a Hispanic and an Englishwoman who saw off the first waves and broke the back of the GB scum .

Pops: I'd recommend running. Quickly. They might turn on us if the GB doesn't provide them with more cannon-fodder soon.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

My lies are NEVER cheap.


He proposes giving you a penis.


Several times, in fact.

And where is your elusive leader? Is he afraid to face me?
Don't be scared, oh purple one, I won't kill you... for at least a week. My meathook is empty right now, I've been on the hunt for a replacement for the last poor bastard that got in my way.

Devilishly,

Lieutenant Lou.

 

[Guest]

I'd like to refute the claim that the US members of the Author's Hangout saved our English arses in the conflict. I mean sure, the US helped, but it was a Hispanic and an Englishwoman who saw off the first waves and broke the back of the GB scum .

Pops: I'd recommend running. Quickly. They might turn on us if the GB doesn't provide them with more cannon-fodder soon.

The Earl

Basil: Don't mention the war.
German visitor: I haven't. You did.
Basil: But you started it.
German visitor: No I didn't.
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland.

 

[TheEarl]

And where is your elusive leader? Is he afraid to face me?
Don't be scared, oh purple one, I won't kill you... for at least a week. My meathook is empty right now, I've been on the hunt for a replacement for the last poor bastard that got in my way.

Devilishly,

Lieutenant Lou.

I did wonder what happened to Prince Jonny.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Pops and Earl:

I'm tired of GB dicks. How about you two joining me and Lou-lou for some well earned R&R? You bring the R's.

Lou-la-la, let's go powder our pupps and kitties.

Civilian Purrditta

 

[pop_54]

Ha my lad

I'd like to refute the claim that the US members of the Author's Hangout saved our English arses in the conflict. I mean sure, the US helped, but it was a Hispanic and an Englishwoman who saw off the first waves and broke the back of the GB scum .

Pops: I'd recommend running. Quickly. They might turn on us if the GB doesn't provide them with more cannon-fodder soon.

The Earl

Earl my trusty lieutenant I never run, I'm British for God's sake we don't do that sort of thing, stiff upper lip and all that.

Well stiff something, it's bloody tatelou and mlle with their avatars, and darling purdy with her suggestive remarks that makes it stiff, sorry I digress.

I'm ready to repell a mutiny among the ranks if the GB collapse without a fight.

I shall go and re-prime my cannon, it only takes about half hour these days, used to be able to fire it almost non stop, but you know age and all that.

pops..............

 

[Guest]

Re: Pops and Earl:

I'm tired of GB dicks. How about you two joining me and Lou-lou for some well earned R&R? You bring the R's.

Lou-la-la, let's go powder our pupps and kitties.

Civilian Purrditta

That attempt at an all-out war was pretty pathetic.
I'm up for some serious R&R.

Powdered and ready,

Lou-lou

 

[Guest]

Tatie-lou, if the don't get here soon, it's you and me. NOT complaining.

Let's powder each other til we can breathe.

Purrd

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Ha my lad

I'm ready to repell a mutiny among the ranks if the GB collapse without a fight.

I shall go and re-prime my cannon, it only takes about half hour these days, used to be able to fire it almost non stop, but you know age and all that.

pops..............

Don't worry Pops, I'll cover you while you reload.




Wait, that came out wrong. Can I start again?

The Earl

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Pops and Earl:

That attempt at an all-out war was pretty pathetic.
I'm up for some serious R&R.

Powdered and ready,

Lou-lou

I so love a freshly powdered pair of puppies, or nicely pampered pussy

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Ha my lad

Don't worry Pops, I'll cover you while you reload.




Wait, that came out wrong. Can I start again?

The Earl

Damn you Earl, don't keep letting our secret slip out, they already think I'm a bit of a brown hatter.

let it slip out, Hmm maybe that came out wrong too.

 

[Guest]

Pirate and Lad:

We know all about you two, we don't care, we're who'res.

C'mon, let's get multi-something.

Purrditta (and the lil one; tell you about her later, Lou)

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Before the war crimes tribunal

It wasn't me. It was Purple Haze.

I was drunk.

I was feverish.

I was only following orders.

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove anything.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

 

[pop_54]

Hey

Pirate and Lad:

We know all about you two, we don't care, we're who'res.

C'mon, let's get multi-something.

Purrditta (and the lil one; tell you about her later, Lou)

Tell us now sweet one, how is the little one tonight

 

[pop_54]

Look out

Before the war crimes tribunal

It wasn't me. It was Purple Haze.

I was drunk.

I was feverish.

I was only following orders.

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove anything.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Look out, sneak attack, they're back, hey it's a bloody Stuka I thought we duffed that lot up 60 odd years ago.

 

[Guest]

Pirate and Lad:

We know all about you two, we don't care, we're who'res.

C'mon, let's get multi-something.

Purrditta (and the lil one; tell you about her later, Lou)

Nah, I don't care at all, it makes for a much more interesting foursome.

I can't wait to hear about the lil one.

Lou-lou

 

[Guest]

Before the war crimes tribunal

It wasn't me. It was Purple Haze.

I was drunk.

I was feverish.

I was only following orders.

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove anything.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

You still hanging around, looking for a piece of my arse?
"Only following orders." Ha! That's what they all say.

Lou (having my R&R now)

 

[April]

We get bored rather easily. What can ya say? Entertainment junkies.

 

[Guest]

To the remaining flaccid ones:

Lou, Purrd, Pops and Earl: on R&R

ta.

 

[TheEarl]

Before the war crimes tribunal

It wasn't me. It was Purple Haze.

I was drunk.

I was feverish.

I was only following orders.

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove anything.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Scene: Lister is in Rimmer's room, sneaking a look at his diary. Suddenly there is a rattling sound and the Cat strolls out of the wardrobe.

Cat (to himself): Hehehe, he won't find that one any time soon. Not until he changes his shoes. <notices Lister and jumps. Cat turns up his collar, dons shades and covers the side of his face with his hand> Did you see him clearly? Did you get a good look at his face? Could you spot him in a parade? I don't think so. I could have been anybody. <Cat exits sharply>

See now that's the final blow. We'll accept your unconditional surrender, or there'll be more Red Dwarf. I f you think that's bad, wait until Svenska sees the mess you've made. There'll be Harry Potter shrapnel flying all over the place.

Oh the humanity.

The Earl

 

[pop_54]

To the remaining flaccid ones:

Lou, Purrd, Pops and Earl: on R&R

ta.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Is this the fastest growing thread in AH?

 

[oggbashan]

Does that mean no one needs a re-run of The Worst Chain Story Ever?

Where is Chapter Two? That would crush those GB habituees.

Og