I'm having a lesbian affair...with a married woman

[peekingone]

For sure a SUPER complex situation. In the end you need to care and worry about yourself. That is what matters. Everything else will fall where it needs to fall.

 

[Iris_66]

So much to unpack there … please be careful lass. This guy sounds like a total narcissist and sociopath. The way he is seeking to control this situation and his actions dismissing his own affair whilst ‘allowing’ Geneva to see you … with conditions … makes me worried

 

[MyMostSecretLife]

So much to unpack there … please be careful lass. This guy sounds like a total narcissist and sociopath. The way he is seeking to control this situation and his actions dismissing his own affair whilst ‘allowing’ Geneva to see you … with conditions … makes me worried

Absolutely, Iris.

 

[Kissjoanie]

He will continue to want to fuck you he will not let you off.

 

[Jimmy_Butler]

I agree with the others. You have opened the door to being his on call plaything from here on out. One meeting, he tells you the "rules" as he sees them, and you submit right away and your "friend" allows it without a fight. He's never going to let it go away or be a one off. And considering how you describe your relationship with Rico, you are led by emotions and physical needs. Welcome to his harem.

 

[BornNorCal]

Regardless whether this is all real or fiction - and let's be honest, you are thinking it too - the OP should for sure gather all this creativity up and write a story to be published. It would be very popular.

 

[LaotianLass]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

 

[LaotianLass]

Do you have a sense for how she felt about it, watching?

Also - her being afraid of him is a giant red flag in that relationship...

I spoke to her last night. She apologized for what happened. She was less outraged than I expected.

I still feel rather numb about the whole thing. She wanted to see me, I said I'm not ready.

 

[LaotianLass]

So glad you're physically ok. You had us worried there for a while! Take your time in gathering your thoughts and post when you feel up to it.

Thank you. I'm very sorry if people were worried.

 

[LaotianLass]

Thank goodness! Genuinely was worried as we hadn't heard from you and perhaps I've read too many awful stories about love triangles and crazy husbands but it's really good to hear from you.

Thanksfor your concern

 

[LaotianLass]

As

Do you have a sense for how she felt about it, watching?

Also - her being afraid of him is a giant red flag in that relationship...

I mentioned above, I spoke with her and she was apologetic but not outraged. My sense is she has accepted the situation, and honestly I don't think I have.

She also said something that alarmed me. She said "next time" she would join in, and that "sometimes" he would "probably just want to watch." She clearly expects this was not a one-time thing.

This was shocking and honestly I failed to question her about it.

 

[LaotianLass]

For sure a SUPER complex situation. In the end you need to care and worry about yourself. That is what matters. Everything else will fall where it needs to fall.

Yes.

 

[LaotianLass]

So much to unpack there … please be careful lass. This guy sounds like a total narcissist and sociopath. The way he is seeking to control this situation and his actions dismissing his own affair whilst ‘allowing’ Geneva to see you … with conditions … makes me worried

Agree

 

[LaotianLass]

He will continue to want to fuck you he will not let you off.

As I mentioned above, this seems to be the case

 

[LaotianLass]

I agree with the others. You have opened the door to being his on call plaything from here on out. One meeting, he tells you the "rules" as he sees them, and you submit right away and your "friend" allows it without a fight. He's never going to let it go away or be a one off. And considering how you describe your relationship with Rico, you are led by emotions and physical needs. Welcome to his harem.

The last part of your note felt harsh but is probably right. I need to take a look at myself and how I got into this situation.

 

[LaotianLass]

Regardless whether this is all real or fiction - and let's be honest, you are thinking it too - the OP should for sure gather all this creativity up and write a story to be published. It would be very popular.

Thank you for the compliment, I guess?

I'm trying to tell my story as best I can, I'm sorry if you have doubts about it.

 

[Dill_the_Dog]

Hey
I've been offline for a while with a friend visiting from overseas.
Wowzers, Laos!
I'm really glad you're ok, but please please please be careful, physically and emotionally.
This guy sounds like a power-hungry narcissist. He wants his affair, but doesn't want Geneva to have one, and when she does he takes you from her, and oh-so-graciously "allows" her to have you sometimes, as long as he gets first dibs.

Dangerous situation here!

 

[ConsiderateBeast]

Good to see you back. We were worried.

You know, when I was talking about BATNA this is just what I meant; if you don't know what your best option is if you walk away from the deal, you risk being pushed into agreeing to something that's worse than that and therefore objectively not the best choice. It doesn't sound like you want this guy involved in your life. It's possible she will walk away or he will throw a veto if he's not, but then, if there's no space between the players' BATNAs there's no possibility of a deal that's good for both players.

If he's an investment banking dealmaker he lives and breathes this stuff and will have had both formal training and extensive experience, I fear he used it on you.

 

[PB26385]

Lass, I am so sorry for you. What was something so lovely and intimate and beautiful between the two of you has become this ugly, sick thing because of her husband. I think you were very wise to tell her you were not ready to see her. I would recommend you think very clearly what you want, write it down, stick to those points in talking to her, and not settle for anything less. I personally would recommend never setting foot in their house again and never putting yourself in a situation where you ever have to be around this man ever again. He is abusing her emotionally if not physically, and you don't want to be codependent with that abuse or subjected to it yourself. I wish you all the best! Be safe and take care of yourself. Thank you for sharing what has been a very trying time for you. Everyone reading this sends you love!

 

[gobeagle]

"I still feel rather numb about the whole thing. She wanted to see me, I said I'm not ready."

Your instincts are dead on. The subtle, but affirmative "I'm not ready" is your sanity keeping things in check. Respect it.

 

[Michael_Keaton]

You need to pay really close attention to what PB26 (above) has posted regarding her husband. He (and apparently her by default) has made him a part of the package. You have to decide if that's a tradeoff you can make knowing what he is. Are you willing to fuck him in order to have her in your life? Because that's the question you're facing.

BTW, what they are doing to you is nowhere near fair. She should be willing to make her choice of what she wants and he should be willing to allow his wife to live the life she wants. If those two things aren't compatible to both of them they should part company rather than catching you in the middle of their drama.

Whatever you decide, we'll be here.

 

[LaotianLass]

Thank you all for your comments and kind thoughts. I'm sorting through all this, but at this point I feel like I'll be moving from this train wreck.

 

[Jimmy_Butler]

It would be the best for your mind and safety. Nothing in this situation is adding up other than you are a pawn in their games.

 

[peterlickspussy]

Thank you all for your comments and kind thoughts. I'm sorting through all this, but at this point I feel like I'll be moving from this train wreck.

Yep... It kinda eliminates the passion when the person you're interested in is really just pimping you out to her husband. Throws a biggo bucket of water on the whole situation. I'm sorry it turned out this way. First step to recovery....find a new gym.

 

[LaotianLass]

She was here last night.

I'm weak, I'm foolish, I'm a slave to my desires, whatever.

She showed up and I missed her and I let her in.
I tried to be cool and distant and angry but she was apoligizing and begging forgiveness and I started crying and she held me and all my emotions came out.

She kissed me and stroked me and undressed me and took me too bed. She lay naked with me and kissed my lips and neck and breasts.