Insane CL personals

[sexyvixen1987]

What exactly does she mean by a 'full grown gentleman'?

 

[imnauti]

What exactly does she mean by a 'full grown gentleman'?

I know..... strange, isn't it? And I love a good book but I don't worship reading one. There were just too many weird phrases for a CL ad.

 

[Jaseconner]

CL can be hilarious.

 

[Jaseconner]

Why is there a WW4M section? Would two or more "W" need an advertisement to find a willing "M"? lol

 

[sexyvixen1987]

So after reading this thread I decided to go see if I could find anything amusing...instead I found this:

Hi I'm 22 and still a virgin. I'm just really insecure about my body b/c i'm 190lbs and 5'5. In clothes i look a lot thinner but naked not so much. I'm looking for a guy that doesn't mind a bigger girl and is d and d free. No one older than 30 or younger than me. I need someone to boost my confidance and show me the ropes. only pics get responses. NO PIC NO RESPONSE!!!

Does anyone else find this super sad and scary???

 

[AbiNormyl]

here is one for our cl personals.

Whether you're a novice or a pro...

Would anyone like to experiment with or teach me spanking?

 

[Hammeryougood]

Most of the ads like that are from drunks or drugs.
Im guessing alcohol. I've made a few post and looked at them the next day and couldn't figure them out.

 

[imnauti]

Seriously, who talks like this????

I have desires that I am wanting to live out as I a 25 Year Old catholic school girl that is willing to go all night I am half Spanish and Ukrainian so you know I am a freak. I have brown hair and hazel eyes. About 5ft 6in tall and weigh 135 I keep my body in shape and clean.

I have a nice figure but I am not a high minded woman who adores going to tanning parlors but a person who would absolutely love to just seat at my My Crib watching Cavalcade (1933) or anything with Jim Carey while hugging that special boy that knows how to relieve my yearnings. I like my stud's to be bright and behave right.

I tend to prefer nerdy guys, not muscular guys. I'm not too noisy about stiffy size, but I don't like mishapen ones. I love to laugh so calm guys are a plus. If your qualified for the task, it's very rare, then don't slow down and hit me up.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Seriously, who talks like this????

To be fair, she did say she was half Spanish and Ukrainian. Quite possibly English isn't her first language. Still, that did sound a little strange ...

I've responded to a few ads on CL but no replies. Apparently somebody is using it successfully because it's one of the most popular sites on the web. What gets me is the number of flagged entries. I've seen some legit looking ads that were flagged almost immediately so it seems there are folks with an agenda out there.

Pardon my little mini-rant. Carry on.

 

[lonelysouth]

Seriously, who talks like this????

Maybe I'm wrong (it's been known to happen ), but my gut reaction is that guys who respond to this ad find themselves expected to leave the money on the dresser, if you know what I'm saying. Something about it just seems...I don't know. Like she's fishing.

 

[StrayKat]

To be fair, she did say she was half Spanish and Ukrainian. Quite possibly English isn't her first language. Still, that did sound a little strange ...

English is not my first language either and I am aware of differences in grammar and structure of the sentence - the one who wrote that is either English native or very educated.

 

[imnauti]

Now this one just seems weird and a little sad..... Poor girl seems more concerned with finding a handyman than a playmate!

PLEASE READ MY ENTIRE POST!

I'm incredibly horny and looking for some fun. However.....my bed frame seems to be broken. Can you fix it???

I am a BBW, so push off if that bothers you. I'm not looking to play games...just have fun. My preference for tonight would be a well hung black man, but would still consider a well hung white guy. Would actually prefer someone that would be interested in an ongoing "friendship". Please be at least 38 years old and live nearby. Single is best. I really have no interest in helping someone screw around on their wife. I've been on the other end of that and it's no fun. Ability to host occassionally is also in your favor.

Please do not bother to respond if you don't fit the following criteria;

Willing to try and fix my bed
Well hung
at least 38
must like "fat chicks"
must send a pic and then I will do likewise

If you're interested, please let me know via email with picture and a little about yourself and indicate your willingness to try to fix my bed for me. Please...no explicit pictures...not interested in seeing your junk...yet That said...I'm NOT a spam-bot, so if you're thinking about replying first to see if I am prior to sending a picture...don't bother. I won't even respond. I also won't respond if you do send an explicit picture. If I like what I see, I'll promptly send you my picture and we'll go from there.

Now...I'm quite sure that this post will get pulled quickly, so respond before it disappears!

 

[operationorgasm]

I'm not too noisy about stiffy size, but I don't like mishapen ones.

Excuse me while I go laugh myself into an asthma attack.

Okay, seriously, I am so glad I'm not the only one who reads these ads (and yes, responds to the insanely hilarious/interesting ones) and posts my own for laughs. Oddly enough, I have NEVER gotten a bot... I feel a mite gypped.

 

[DeceptiveSpeed]

This was under the title of Cougar Hunting...

HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE SEARCHING FOR THAT ELUSIVE COUGAR! WE ARE A VERY EASY GOING COUPLE, FUN TO HANG OUT WITH AND WE ARE LOOKING TO MEET SOMEONE WHO IS FUN TO BE AROUND, LIKES TO LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. WE DON'T MIND A FEW EXTRA POUNDS HERE AND THERE, NOR ARE WE LOOKING TO MEET A SUPERMODEL. I HAVE HAD A COUPLE OF EXPERIENCES WITH OTHER WOMEN, BUT IT HAS BEEN AWHILE. I LIKE TOYS AND AM MOSTLY SUBMISSIVE, BUT I DEFENETLY HAVE A DOMINENT SIDE AS WELL. I AM 5'6 MAYBEE 120LBS. WITH LONG BLONDE HAIR AND HAVE BEEN TOLD HAVE A VERY NICE ASS, FLAT TUMMY AND TEA CUPS UP TOP. HE IS 6' AND 185LBS. WITH JUST THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF HAIR ON HIS SEXY ASS CHEST.

All that yelling...must be a relative of Billy Mays...

 

[imnauti]

This was under the title of Cougar Hunting...

HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLE SEARCHING FOR THAT ELUSIVE COUGAR! WE ARE A VERY EASY GOING COUPLE, FUN TO HANG OUT WITH AND WE ARE LOOKING TO MEET SOMEONE WHO IS FUN TO BE AROUND, LIKES TO LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. WE DON'T MIND A FEW EXTRA POUNDS HERE AND THERE, NOR ARE WE LOOKING TO MEET A SUPERMODEL. I HAVE HAD A COUPLE OF EXPERIENCES WITH OTHER WOMEN, BUT IT HAS BEEN AWHILE. I LIKE TOYS AND AM MOSTLY SUBMISSIVE, BUT I DEFENETLY HAVE A DOMINENT SIDE AS WELL. I AM 5'6 MAYBEE 120LBS. WITH LONG BLONDE HAIR AND HAVE BEEN TOLD HAVE A VERY NICE ASS, FLAT TUMMY AND TEA CUPS UP TOP. HE IS 6' AND 185LBS. WITH JUST THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF HAIR ON HIS SEXY ASS CHEST.

All that yelling...must be a relative of Billy Mays...

Haha! Funny though, I'm still not sure exactly what they're looking for......

 

[operationorgasm]

Haha! Funny though, I'm still not sure exactly what they're looking for......

I think they're looking to host a tea party.

 

[imnauti]

I think they're looking to host a tea party.

LOL!

I admit I've never seen a couple looking for a cougar before. Nor have I ever seen an ad from a cougar looking for a couple. Hope they don't have some weird 'mommy' fantasy they'd like to play out!

 

[DeceptiveSpeed]

I hope they find a cougar. Something tells me they could probably do with a good mauling.

 

[leoj63]

Can I share my favorite Craigslist story? I want to apologize beforehand because what my wife and I did was a little mean spirited but without this experience we probably wouldn't have the crazy sexual relationship we do today.


About 3 years ago my wife were going through a rough time in our marriage as sex had become incredibly dull and routine. My wife is extremely hot (in my opinion anyway) but being together with one person day in and day out can get old. I had taken tons of sexy pictures of my wife that we used privately but one day we got the idea to have fun on Craigslist. We rented a hotel room at the Marriott by the airport and put our plan into action. She (my wife) posted an ad in the personals with a few hot pictures of herself and explained that she was looking to fuck and that she had a hotel room by the airport. She said in the ad that she was supposed to pick her boyfriend up from the airport but when she got there to pick him up he had stood her up so she was going to fuck as many guys as possible to get back at him.

I don't have to tell you how many people replied but my wife was emailing and instant messaging with at least 20 people at a time. My wife gave them the hotel room number next door to ours (which was vacant) and told people to bring whatever sex toys they wanted to fuck her with. Within 20 minutes we can hear pounding on the room next door to us as person after person showed up hoping to fuck my wife only to find an empty room. I know it was an asshole move but it turned us both on and we ended up fucking for hours against the door while we listened for more people. Again ... I know this was an asshole thing to do but it was this discovery that lead to the swinging and other aspect of our marriage today. Also my wife realized what a huge turn on it is for men and women to see her naked body online which is bonus to all the perverts here (myself included).

 

[hi_holiness]

dammit leo...I waited for 43 hours at that door

 

[AbiNormyl]

mad scientist?

Ok; here is a fun one.

Title: Scientist Seeks Evil Assistant - m4w - 28 (secret laboratory somewhere in ???)

When we finally meet to begin plotting a path toward inevitable world domination I'd much rather have drinks in a dive bar with a good jukebox, go see a band, eat at an awesome undiscovered hole-in-the-wall restaurant, find a freaky film or art exhibit or just wander aimlessly around the city than go to an overcrowded nightclub, hipster hangout or fancy "nouvelle cuisine" eatery. Some other things we might both enjoy when we're not busy building sinister shrink rays, concocting diabolical potions or controlling the weather: movies, cheesy horror/sci-fi, documentaries, thrift stores, flea markets, used records, cheap booze, spicy food, outsider & lowbrow art, photography, mid-century art & design, obscure pop culture, etc...

I'm a reasonably tall, muscular dark haired white guy in a white lab coat. I'm not overly concerned with your height, hair & skin color or other superficial statistics but hopefully you're terribly smart, funny, cool, creative and interesting - but in a down to earth and unpretentious sort of way. You don't necessarily need to have prior scientific experience but it would help if you were comfortable working with absurdly over-sized electrical switches and large quantities of dry ice. Perhaps you're an expert in the distillation of toxic tinctures or well versed in the care and feeding of zombies, mutants and/or disembodied brains. Maybe you're slightly nerdy and intellectual and have way too much information about some sort of obscure subject such as ancient history, astrophysics, French literature or marine biology. You could be an artist, a writer or a musician. You might have a super-square office job where they make you cover up your tattoos - but you manage to make it a bit more bearable by daydreaming and decorating your cubicle with unusual artifacts and weird knick knacks...

 

[hi_holiness]

the scientist one is amazing. Although the tone of the first paragraph made me think it was written by a woman.

That was so cool. Too bad he will only be read by 14 yo boys.

 

[imnauti]

dammit leo...I waited for 43 hours at that door

LMAO!

 

[lonelysouth]

Ok; here is a fun one.

Title: Scientist Seeks Evil Assistant - m4w - 28 (secret laboratory somewhere in ???)

When we finally meet to begin plotting a path toward inevitable world domination I'd much rather have drinks in a dive bar with a good jukebox, go see a band, eat at an awesome undiscovered hole-in-the-wall restaurant, find a freaky film or art exhibit or just wander aimlessly around the city than go to an overcrowded nightclub, hipster hangout or fancy "nouvelle cuisine" eatery. Some other things we might both enjoy when we're not busy building sinister shrink rays, concocting diabolical potions or controlling the weather: movies, cheesy horror/sci-fi, documentaries, thrift stores, flea markets, used records, cheap booze, spicy food, outsider & lowbrow art, photography, mid-century art & design, obscure pop culture, etc...

I'm a reasonably tall, muscular dark haired white guy in a white lab coat. I'm not overly concerned with your height, hair & skin color or other superficial statistics but hopefully you're terribly smart, funny, cool, creative and interesting - but in a down to earth and unpretentious sort of way. You don't necessarily need to have prior scientific experience but it would help if you were comfortable working with absurdly over-sized electrical switches and large quantities of dry ice. Perhaps you're an expert in the distillation of toxic tinctures or well versed in the care and feeding of zombies, mutants and/or disembodied brains. Maybe you're slightly nerdy and intellectual and have way too much information about some sort of obscure subject such as ancient history, astrophysics, French literature or marine biology. You could be an artist, a writer or a musician. You might have a super-square office job where they make you cover up your tattoos - but you manage to make it a bit more bearable by daydreaming and decorating your cubicle with unusual artifacts and weird knick knacks...

That IS fun. I would love to do a bit "exploring" with that mad scientist.

This is a great thread.

 

[girlfish]

I love craigslist and kijiji personals. I don't think I'd ever respond to them, but they're good for entertainment. I'm kind of happy to hear I'm not the only 'lurker' out there.