Is it a bad thing?

[Shaq]

I love how you are so into defending him. Either you and him are one of the same, or you are guilty of this yourself.


Either way, when someone tells everyone to fuck off because they do not like what they are hearing, that post becomes fair game to waaa waaa about

I thought me and Bent ended this discussion (with a loada helpful comments from my old school GB buds Chey and Angel! Big ups to them! Woo Woo!) when I got accused of being Intrigued.

I am not him I simply add another voice to this conversation instead of turning it into a stone throwing condemnation for people who want to transplant their emotions about an experience to someone else.

 

[Emerald Eyed]

Why would you trust the first post when he says he took advantage of her and not trust the rest?

You want to pick and choose which part is true?

-It's true when you raped her
-It's not true when you told her
-It's true she found out.
-It's not true that you and she moved past

Becaue anyone can see he started to add and change things as he went on the defense...

Sad that you can't see that





Gawd I need to go to bed

 

[Shaq]

And there it is folks, the good old ''porn site'' line. I'm surprised it took this long actually.

Just because you, and the rest of us are at an adult porn site, does not mean we have no morals or values. It's obvious you do or you'd not feel badly. Give us the same courtesy.

Some moral and value systems would find less fault with what he did and more with the random calls for sex hookups.


If they asked for commentary and not condemnation would you support people who insist on criticizing them too?

 

[Emerald Eyed]

I thought me and Bent ended this discussion (with a loada helpful comments from my old school GB buds Chey and Angel! Big ups to them! Woo Woo!) when I got accused of being Intrigued.

I am not him I simply add another voice to this conversation instead of turning it into a stone throwing condemnation for people who want to transplant their emotions about an experience to someone else.

Where is Chey and Angel?? I just love those 2

 

[Shaq]

Becaue anyone can see he started to add and change things as he went on the defense...

Sad that you can't see that





Gawd I need to go to bed

Anyone can see.

Disregarding the views of someone who disagrees with you is rude.

Yes, you need to go to sleep.

 

[Shaq]

Where is Chey and Angel?? I just love those 2

Gagged and tied up in my trunk.

We're playing an elaborate sex game. Right now the fear should be setting in and that will make it soooo much more fun when we really get down to doing the nasty.

And yes, they are okay with it.

 

[Emerald Eyed]

Anyone can see.

Disregarding the views of someone who disagrees with you is rude.

Yes, you need to go to sleep.

Oh yes, you are so very polite yourself

 

[Cathleen]

You're talking about the law, he's talking about his relationship. The law says sodomy (anal sex) is a crime.

What we're talking about is the nature of what he did and how it impacts his relationship and if others have similar experiences.


Call it rape or whatever but the fact is he and his gf have come to terms with what happened.

Thier relationship can still last despite what happened so in their relationship rape was "almost" because it didn't damage to the point of ending (or involving the law)

Relationships can tolerate many things, that is up to the couple. But just because I might want to smoke pot/molest/steal/kill/whatever, does not mean my actions aren't illegal.

 

[DigitalDrifter]

As a matter of fact, he kept changing and back peddling through this whole thread[/QUOTE]


Backpeddling?

I beg to differ.

I'm not proud of what I did.. in fact, I'm sitting here, drunk, spilling my guts out with her beside me.

What I am asking for is feedback from those who have been in a similar situation. I cannot be the only one.

 

[Emerald Eyed]

Night yall

 

[Shaq]

Relationships can tolerate many things, that is up to the couple. But just because I might want to smoke pot/molest/steal/kill/whatever, does not mean my actions aren't illegal.

*shrugs*


It was once illegal for black people to read.


Their relationship should be the focus of discussion not the law.

 

[Shaq]

Oh yes, you are so very polite yourself

Set a better example for the youth oh esteemed elder.

 

[DigitalDrifter]

At least, I hope I'm not the only one.

Am I so freaking wrong? I'm seeking the only outlet I know to vent this.. its killing me......

 

[Shaq]

I love how you are so into defending him. Either you and him are one of the same, or you are guilty of this yourself.

I would say that a lot of the people who are so into condemning him have had it happen to them in a different context so they refuse to grasp the fact that the way his SO would react would be with something less than threatening to castrate him.


And I should not dignify your insinuation with a comment but I will state that I have never taken of anyone while sleeping.

Without their prior consent (there's a reason I like incest dammit!)

 

[LadyJeanne]

Why would you trust the first post when he says he took advantage of her and not trust the rest?

You want to pick and choose which part is true?

-It's true when you raped her
-It's not true when you told her
-It's true she found out.
-It's not true that you and she moved past

How do you know any of it happened? Maybe he's just thinking about doing it? Maybe he's drunk and he's just jerking off on the fantasy and wants to talk to others about it? Maybe he just did it 15 minutes ago and his girlfriend hasn't woken up yet? Maybe he did it and wants to tell her because that turns him on even more, but he's wondering what her reaction might be? Maybe he told her and she forgave him, but his Catholic guilt is tormenting him? Maybe he just wants to brag about it because that adds to his turn on?

We have no fucking clue what's real and what isn't. But the way he's presented it here certainly doesn't lead me to believe he's credible.

 

[Shaq]

At least, I hope I'm not the only one.

Am I so freaking wrong? I'm seeking the only outlet I know to vent this.. its killing me......

How does your gf feel about it?


Is she drinking with you?

 

[SweetErika]

Most of us would never, ever consider violating another person, particularly not someone who loves and trusts us, in this way.

Your girlfriend was pissed, as well she should be. You assaulted and tried to rape her. It doesn't matter if you couldn't get it in or not, it was attempted rape. You purposely did something you KNEW she didn't like and wouldn't consent to. It wasn't an accident or in a 'gray area.' You knew it was wrong and you did it anyway. She should kick you in the nuts repeatedly then use that foot to boot your ass out the door forever.

You SHOULD feel horrible. You SHOULD be really, really sorry. You SHOULD be sickened by your behavior. You SHOULD be focusing on rebuilding her trust and promise her and yourself you'll NEVER, ever even consider doing anything without her full consent again.

Fantasies and kinks are one thing, and as far as I'm concerned, everything is fair game for fantasy. However, when you take something that MIGHT hurt someone to the consideration stage or actually act on it, there's NOTHING okay about it. You should NOT be trying to rationalize your irreprehensible behavior because there's nothing that will lessen the offense.

If you want her to CONSENT to swallowing or anal, ask her when she's sober and in a non-sexual environment to consider it. I'd wait a few months, but then I'm not into hurting people. Let her initiate if she ever feels comfortable. Educate yourselves on how to do anal correctly and painlessly. If she doesn't want to, drop it and move on.

And don't you dare touch her when she's been drinking again. You do know that sexual acts with someone who's impaired is technically rape, even if they consent at the time, right? Don't you dare consider assaulting or raping her (or anyone else) ever again.

 

[Shaq]

How do you know any of it happened? Maybe he's just thinking about doing it? Maybe he's drunk and he's just jerking off on the fantasy and wants to talk to others about it? Maybe he just did it 15 minutes ago and his girlfriend hasn't woken up yet? Maybe he did it and wants to tell her because that turns him on even more, but he's wondering what her reaction might be? Maybe he told her and she forgave him, but his Catholic guilt is tormenting him? Maybe he just wants to brag about it because that adds to his turn on?

We have no fucking clue what's real and what isn't. But the way he's presented it here certainly doesn't lead me to believe he's a credible source of information.

*shrugs*

Then we'll just discuss it conceptually, in such a way that we would share what our thoughts would be if this situation happened to anyone.

 

[Cathleen]

*shrugs*


It was once illegal for black people to read.


Their relationship should be the focus of discussion not the law.

Yes I agree. If you've read my posts you'll see I addressed that - they need to define what is acceptable for them. But bringing this to a public board is not smart. Admitting in public that you ''took advantage/molested/violated'' your girlfriend is putting yourself at a huge risk - legally for sure and for eliciting comments (especially since the response isn't what he wanted or expected).

 

[SweetErika]

At least, I hope I'm not the only one.

Am I so freaking wrong? I'm seeking the only outlet I know to vent this.. its killing me......

What's killing you? The excitement or guilt?

 

[Shaq]

She should kick you in the nuts repeatedly then use that foot to boot your ass out the door forever.

You SHOULD feel horrible. You SHOULD be really, really sorry. You SHOULD be sickened by your behavior. You SHOULD be focusing on rebuilding her trust and promise her and yourself you'll NEVER, ever even consider doing anything without her full consent again.


And don't you dare touch her when she's been drinking again. You do know that sexual acts with someone who's impaired is technically rape, even if they consent at the time, right? Don't you dare consider assaulting or raping her (or anyone else) ever again.

You should chill.

It's her relationship. If she wants to kick him in the nuts its her choice. If she wants to suck his cock and have him tell her all the details of what he did while she slept that's her choice too.

 

[Cathleen]

At least, I hope I'm not the only one.

Am I so freaking wrong? I'm seeking the only outlet I know to vent this.. its killing me......

My opinion is you'd be smart to seek professional consultation. Maybe you both can go together or separately.

Since this is so raw and fresh perhaps time will help but I wouldn't sweep your feelings/thoughts under the rug. Also you mentioned you were drunk again...this might be something to seriously consider.

 

[LadyJeanne]

*shrugs*

Then we'll just discuss it conceptually, in such a way that we would share what our thoughts would be if this situation happened to anyone.

I believe that's what some of us have been doing.

 

[Shaq]

She should kick you in the nuts repeatedly then use that foot to boot your ass out the door forever.

You SHOULD feel horrible. You SHOULD be really, really sorry. You SHOULD be sickened by your behavior. You SHOULD be focusing on rebuilding her trust and promise her and yourself you'll NEVER, ever even consider doing anything without her full consent again.


And don't you dare touch her when she's been drinking again. You do know that sexual acts with someone who's impaired is technically rape, even if they consent at the time, right? Don't you dare consider assaulting or raping her (or anyone else) ever again.

You should chill.

It's her relationship. If she wants to kick him in the nuts its her choice. If she wants to suck his cock and have him tell her all the details of what he did while she slept that's her choice too.

 

[Cathleen]

Yeah, I kinda guessed that.

Nice, real nice.

I would say that a lot of the people who are so into condemning him have had it happen to them in a different context so they refuse to grasp the fact that the way his SO would react would be with something less than threatening to castrate him.


And I should not dignify your insinuation with a comment but I will state that I have never taken of anyone while sleeping.

Without their prior consent (there's a reason I like incest dammit!)

Speak for yourself (your words ). Obviously I stated I was raped, so are you assuming I can't have an open mind on the subject? I think it's clear I do - I've addressed his feelings seriously and with genuine concern.

Now, just because of my history is what it is doesn't mean I don't have fantasies of non-consent. It can be a real turn on to me at times.