It looks like a plumbing question, but it's really a writing challenge!

[shereads]

Re: Re: Re: Re: It looks like a plumbing question, but it's really a writing challeng

Hang on, I'll just go and check...

Goodnight, Gracie.

 

[gauchecritic]

Just take the trap off and get your flat bladed screwdriver in there.

Then get your penlight torch (lamp? flashlight? whatever) and have a butchers down the trap arm (after careful removal from trap). This involves a lot of lying under the bathtub.

The most difficult part (or paradoxically the easiest part) is taking the trap off. You don't usually require a wrench, just strong wrists and fingers.

If you do require a wrench (because the crap has welded the joint and seal together) and don't have one then take a tea towel and make a tourniquet around the joint, this requires less finger strength but more wrist strength.

Alternatively (I've only seen mention of introducing solvents yet) maybe a simple plunging is all you need? Those things that Jerry fires at Tom and suckers his face off.

 

[NoJo]

Just take the trap off and get your flat bladed screwdriver in there.

Then get your penlight torch (lamp? flashlight? whatever) and have a butchers down the trap arm (after careful removal from trap). This involves a lot of lying under the bathtub.

The most difficult part (or paradoxically the easiest part) is taking the trap off. You don't usually require a wrench, just strong wrists and fingers.

If you do require a wrench (because the crap has welded the joint and seal together) and don't have one then take a tea towel and make a tourniquet around the joint, this requires less finger strength but more wrist strength.

Alternatively (I've only seen mention of introducing solvents yet) maybe a simple plunging is all you need? Those things that Jerry fires at Tom and suckers his face off.

Guys, this post shows how a guy who smokes and looks like Gollum still gets all the ladies.

 

[sincerely_helene]

I was going to suggest a good plunging, but just assumed that had already been attempted!!

If you don't own a plunger, sometimes a similar result can be achieved with a dish-rag and plently of elbow grease.

 

[nushu2]

It was crystal clear from the description alone. Or bell clear, or something.

I have learned that it's essential to know the right hole.

 

[nushu2]

I don't have kids, but someone leaves Pez dispensers in my back yard and there was once a slice of cheese on the hood of my car.

That explains it then.

 

[shereads]

Just take the trap off and get your flat bladed screwdriver in there.

Then get your penlight torch (lamp? flashlight? whatever) and have a butchers down the trap arm (after careful removal from trap). This involves a lot of lying under the bathtub.

The most difficult part (or paradoxically the easiest part) is taking the trap off. You don't usually require a wrench, just strong wrists and fingers.

If you do require a wrench (because the crap has welded the joint and seal together) and don't have one then take a tea towel and make a tourniquet around the joint, this requires less finger strength but more wrist strength.

Alternatively (I've only seen mention of introducing solvents yet) maybe a simple plunging is all you need? Those things that Jerry fires at Tom and suckers his face off.

Everyone, I'm flattered that you assume I know wtf the "trap" is. Is that the part that doesn't require me to remove the drain-grate that's cemented onto the tub? If so, that's good news. Unless it means crawling under my house to get beneath the bathtub, which I might have done if I hadn't seen the ball of snakes.

Not the snake or snakes; the ball of snakes.

I have no problem with snakes, one at a time and at a respectful distance. But a ball of snakes is a living, writhing, globular clump of entangled snake bodies the color of squid-ink-pasta, which I assume were newly hatched versions of the big one I nearly tripped over one day last summer when it was sunning itself on the back deck. The next day I found the ball of snakes while raking leaves in a spot no more than 15 feet from the location in the crawlspace where I would be lying on my back in the dark if there were a snowball's chance in hell that I'd get under that bathtub.

Thank you, though. It was worth considering.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Contact Dr Xavier. You obviously have Cyclops's mutant power and simply need training in how to use it.

What, peeing with his eyes closed?

It just doesn't seem that challenging.

 

[cantdog]

No, no. Causing pipes to leak simply by looking at them. You ever heard anyone complain of that before? I haven't. I found it damn impressive. In junior high I'd have used a power like that to disrobe my female classmates. I can't imagine what I'd want to do now with it. Getting it under some sort of control would be a good first step, though. Hell, you could unclog it with the looking-at-it zap power, all by itself. balls of snakes would flee in confusion. Cops would be stymied by sudden flat tires! The mind boggles, horse.

 

[BlackShanglan]

It's the flat tires power I have always yearned for. Every time someone cuts me off. That would be the best damned superpower.

Shanglan

 

[shereads]

It's the flat tires power I have always yearned for. Every time someone cuts me off. That would be the best damned superpower.

Shanglan

I found the next-best thing in one of those mail-order catalogs of Hard-To-Find Tools You've Somehow Lived Without Until Now:

a key chain that works as a TV remote control but only to turn them OFF.

It's just a matter of time before someone has too much fun with it at a sports bar and is bludgeoned to death. EDITED to add: My money is on the World Cup.

 

[neonlyte]

What, peeing with his eyes closed?

It just doesn't seem that challenging.

It's not. I use the bath.

 

[~photoguy~]

I like your use of the term "drum auger." I don't have kids, but someone leaves Pez dispensers in my back yard and there was once a slice of cheese on the hood of my car.

just be glad it wasnt salami ... that "mystery meat" can eat through a car finish in a matter of hours

 

[nushu2]

I lived in Florida for years and I wouldn't crawl under a house down there either. Thought of that after I read Gauche's response. Watching your step down there has a different meaning. I still shiver when I remember stepping on something soft and it slithered away. It had to be six feet long and three inches thick. Still, I would rather face a dozen snakes than one 40 pound raccoon in a crawl space.

You were right in that the trap would be under the floor. The good news is you don't have to go under there. You either need an auger (often called a snake), or call a plumber. Plunging will do no good if you don't plug off the overflow at the same time.

A trap or P-trap is just a U bend in the drainage that holds a bit of water so that sewer gases don't come up through the pipes.

 

[cantdog]

Mother fuck. There really is always somebody here who knows. No matter what the topic.

 

[shereads]

And the one who knows is nearly always a dog. They really are man's best friend. Thanks, big fella.

Go get the ball!

 

[nushu2]

Woof. Slobber. Licks his own.

 

[cantdog]

That's just because this is such a quadruped-rich board lately.

Pists. Dogs. Kitties and cats of one sort or another. Alpacas, capybaras, turtles, and a rather magnificent horse.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

That's just because this is such a quadruped-rich board lately.

Pists. Dogs. Kitties and cats of one sort or another. Alpacas, capybaras, turtles, and a rather magnificent horse.

Psst, pay attention; I will only say this once. Cantdog left us off his list. It is obvious he has a thing against racoons. We must take appropriate measures. Prepare to activate, PLAN NINE. Pass it on.

http://www.aaartdenver.com/images/three_racoons.jpg

Rumple Foreskin

 

[shereads]

Woof. Slobber. Licks his own.

Exactly.

 

[kamuikamui]

We're on island time down here. Whether we like it or not.

I can fix that for you.

I will.

 

[shereads]

I can fix that for you.

I will.

And you would be....?

 

[Guest]

And you would be....?

As if.

Cool AV, BTW.

 

[neonlyte]

And you would be....?

I see from the AV you've had your arm down that bath pipe. Any luck?

 

[scheherazade_79]

I'm with Shanglan, Sher. I know in some places you can get terrible limescale, so my money's on a combination of limescale, hair, dead skin cells and dried-up soap suds. Somehow, they've fused together to form an undiscovered kind of super glue that's blocking your drain.

I use four main tools when it comes to any kind of maintenance probelm -
* Sellotape
* Nails
* Boiling water
* Olive oil
* A long stick

I'd got for the boiling water and long stick in this case. Flood the drain with boiling water and have a poke.

If the suction isn't strong enough, attach the pipe of a Dyson to the plug hole with sellotape, turn it on and wait for results.

And if that doesn't work, try the process in reverse. Get hold of an electric airbed pump, sellotape it over the plug hole and try and blow the blockage into oblivion.

You could also try pouring aeroplane fuel into the pipes and throwing a match down. That might burn the blockage out of the way.

By the way, folks, if you'd like to make use of my handywoman services, I charge at only £80 an hour and specialise in plumbing, electrics, and general repair jobs. Please feel free to contact me





Scheherazade_79 accepts no responsibility for any injuries suffered or damage incurred as a result of some fool following these instructions. They were intended as a joke and should be taken as such. It's sad that I have to do this, but in this day and age where the earth-old process of natural selection is stifled, I really have no choice.