Jokes and puns

[John_Q_Public]

zap

What do a hot chick's asshole and a 9 volt battery have in common?

At some point, you're going to want put your tongue on it.

 

[staciliv]

Why so serious? Just post dumb jokes and puns

There are female hormones in beer. Guys drink it, they talk too much and cant drive...

 

[MercutioStar]

Excellent jokes everybody. Keep 'em cummin.

 

[DoRaMe]

Nah. Not offensive. As a half black, half white, half jew, half Asian, I take no offense.

Shalom, my good man.

Wait....how many people are you? 4 halves make up 2 people unless you are 1/4 each, or of Jewish faith then you are either 1 1/2 people or 1/3 each. I hope I confused you as much as you did me...lol

 

[MercutioStar]

Wait....how many people are you? 4 halves make up 2 people unless you are 1/4 each, or of Jewish faith then you are either 1 1/2 people or 1/3 each. I hope I confused you as much as you did me...lol

In my case, it's simple. I'm ALL woman... er... man.

 

[MercutioStar]

http://buzzsouthafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/anti_joke.jpg

 

[Leigh81]

A friend told his blond friend "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

L

 

[MercutioStar]

A friend told his blond friend "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

L

Now thats a dumb ho...

...ho, ho

 

[Leigh81]

http://www.clevelandwomen.com/images/funny/mommy-poledance.jpg

The teacher graded it and the child took it home.
She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint
surrounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter
how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Harrington

L

 

[MercutioStar]

I like how she tries to dig her way out of that hole.

http://www.clevelandwomen.com/images/funny/mommy-poledance.jpg

The teacher graded it and the child took it home.
She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint
surrounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter
how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Harrington

L