Ladies, i have a question....

[Cratchit]

Have you ever faked an orgasm? if so, why, and do you think he knew?


i'd ask the guys but i cant imagine too many guys have done it!

and i also think females are making a mistake in faking it, but i will keep quiet and wait for the responses....

 

[Cratchit]

what, no female has faked it??

 

[pink]

Yep, back in my younger years i sure did.

 

[Cratchit]

Yep, back in my younger years i sure did.

well, i am glad that you no longer do so and saw how foolish it was

 

[Gracie29]

I have and I hope he did know, actually.

Sometimes it's necessary when you're with a person who ain't exactly hittin' it right and refuses to listen when you try to help him give you pleasure.

You eventually find yourself just wantin' to get away and do what you can to make that happen sooner.

Just my two cents.

 

[Cratchit]

while i do appreciate your two cents, gracie, thank you, i dont get that.

if he isnt doing it for you, so to speak, and is being thickhea...(ok, wrong choice of word there) ...he's not listening, then just stop the sex!! faking an orgasm is only helping him in falsely thinking he is good in bed

my two cents back

 

[Gracie29]

Actually fakin' an orgasm helped HIM have one.

And, no, I have to disagree with you . . . my fakin' an orgasm didn't help him falsely believe he's good in bed. He was already arrogant enough to believe he didn't need help if he was ignorin' me offerin' gentle suggestions.

And I find that interestin' you say stop the sex if he ain't doin' it for you. Cause then the woman runs a risk of bein' called a cocktease.

 

[Cratchit]

well, you made me smirk, gracie...

because if it wasnt good sex, why in the world did you care if he had an orgasm? lol

and i will agree with you in one sense. you faking it didnt cause him to be arrogant. but you helped continue his bullheaded, conceited way of thinking. because he probably looked at it as that he was "right" in doing whatever he was cause he got you off. so that he figured he could and would keep doing that.

and what's worse, having sex you arent enjoying, or running the risk of being called a cocktease? and furthermore, what would you care what a selfish guy would think of you?

 

[Gracie29]

I think you pretty much have a permanent smirk on your face anyway.

Why would I care if he had an orgasm? Quicker he came, the quicker it was over.

Snort! Here's the thing, though . . . guys like that? You could look them in the eye and tell them they suck at gettin' a woman off and they'll look right back at you with a smirk on their face and interpret that as "Please. Do me again."

Now, I agree with you in one sense . . . I don't believe a woman should fake an orgasm instead of tryin' to help her partner give her pleasure. It truly would be her loss . . . if her partner is willin' to learn.

I don't care what a selfish guy thinks of me. Doesn't necessarily mean I enjoy hearin' untrue things bein' thrown my way or bein' blamed for something that isn't my fault.

 

[Recidiva]

well, you made me smirk, gracie...

because if it wasnt good sex, why in the world did you care if he had an orgasm? lol

and i will agree with you in one sense. you faking it didnt cause him to be arrogant. but you helped continue his bullheaded, conceited way of thinking. because he probably looked at it as that he was "right" in doing whatever he was cause he got you off. so that he figured he could and would keep doing that.

and what's worse, having sex you arent enjoying, or running the risk of being called a cocktease? and furthermore, what would you care what a selfish guy would think of you?

I have.

Not lately, but I have.

It's not to be manipulative, it's not to "get it over with", it's not to allow him to be deluded.

It's because I'd like him to feel he's doing well, even if I'm not. And there are times I'm not at my best and unable to respond the way he would like me to. When I know I'm just not going to get the brain chemistry happening here, it's more about my brain than him.

A sex life isn't each and every event, it's a trend. There are times to encourage a trend, have confidence, without causing the stock to crash.

Why would I have sex at all with anybody I didn't care about? And why would I want to hurt their feelings?

And if you try to say that men are fine discussing their techniques...during...that'd be funny to hear.

Probably something best anticipated the next time.

My orgasm is not my end-all be-all of my relationship. I can have an orgasm any time I want and there's no shortage. So there's no real reason to feel "cheated" in any way.

If I'm not going to have one, no way, no how, isn't it less bitchy to just look like I'm having a better time than I am and have faith that the next time will probably be better, 'cause I love the guy?

Plenty of good times to be had.

If I can figure out somewhere along the line that the fireworks don't have much heat or the fuse isn't lighting, do I have to ruin the whole picnic?

 

[tolyk]

I've got a question.. Why ask a question you don't really want to understand the answer to?

 

[Morrigu]

No, never. If I did my partner would never learn how to please me.

 

[jenamapat]

I have...because I told him several times what i wanted...and that he wasnt doing it right...he kept saying he was waiting for me....and i was just ready for it to be over so he'd get the fuck off me.

 

[Gracie29]

I have...because I told him several times what i wanted...and that he wasnt doing it right...he kept saying he was waiting for me....and i was just ready for it to be over so he'd get the fuck off me.

OY. THANK YOU!

 

[pretty_green_eyes]

I have and I hope he did know, actually.

Sometimes it's necessary when you're with a person who ain't exactly hittin' it right and refuses to listen when you try to help him give you pleasure.

You eventually find yourself just wantin' to get away and do what you can to make that happen sooner.

Just my two cents.

Or sometimes the guy thinks he a lot better at it than he really is...

 

[Gracie29]

Or sometimes the guy thinks he a lot better at it than he really is...

*nods* That was my initial point. If he thinks he's better no matter what you say or do . . . not to criticize, but to try and help (him and yourself) . . . I see nothin' wrong with fakin' it so you can just get away sooner.

And I really don't believe that me doin' so made me a horrible person or responsible for his big ego.

 

[Recidiva]

*nods* That was my initial point. If he thinks he's better no matter what you say or do . . . not to criticize, but to try and help (him and yourself) . . . I see nothin' wrong with fakin' it so you can just get away sooner.

And I really don't believe that me doin' so made me a horrible person or responsible for his big ego.

Well, that's a test drive.

Theoretically you don't have to go back for a second try.

There's no reason to key the car on your way out though. Just...decline to lease.

 

[Gracie29]

Well, that's a test drive.

Theoretically you don't have to go back for a second try.

There's no reason to key the car on your way out though. Just...decline to lease.

Snort! I didn't go back for seconds. It's not like it was a continuin' thing where I faked it constantly.

I was just tryin' to answer the original question of "have you ever faked it" . . . my answer was yes and I kinda felt like I was gettin' attacked for bein' honest.

 

[e-trance action]

Finally had to see what had Tolyk, Morri and Gracie posting in the same thread.

No, never. If I did my partner would never learn how to please me.

I think that's a good approach, Morri-the trick is to find someone who wants to and enjoys giving you pleasure?

*nods* That was my initial point. If he thinks he's better no matter what you say or do . . . not to criticize, but to try and help (him and yourself) . . . I see nothin' wrong with fakin' it so you can just get away sooner.

And I really don't believe that me doin' so made me a horrible person or responsible for his big ego.

I understand your point here, Gracie, and wouldn't want to spend time with someone like that either if I could avoid it by faking, but the question that pops up for me is once you saw he was in love with himself, why did you agree to sex so that you had to fake it? Why not just leave before?


Finally, who says a man can't fake it when there's a good reason to do so?

 

[pretty_green_eyes]

Well, that's a test drive.

Theoretically you don't have to go back for a second try.

There's no reason to key the car on your way out though. Just...decline to lease.

I totally understand what you are saying - both here and your initial post, and I do agree with you. When you are in that relationship and you care that deeply about the person, the last thing you want to do is hurt them.

I know of several women who have faked it because (as you said) they can have an orgasm whenever. They just didn't want to hurt the man they were with. But those women have mentioned that, all in all, he just wasn't great. And hurting his feelings wasn't worth it.

 

[Lady Reiha]

I used to with my ex.
He wasn't a nice person to begin with, and towards the end, our sex was getting less, and less, and I just wasn't getting "into it" anymore, so I faked- to avoid fighting and hurting his feelings.


I'm glad that relationship is over and I've found someone who really turns me on : )


( I know it was a bad thing to do, but I don't regret it. My ex wasn't a good person and based in the situation I was in- which is personal, I don't feel like I did anything overally bad. He had it coming.)

 

[Gracie29]

I understand your point here, Gracie, and wouldn't want to spend time with someone like that either if I could avoid it by faking, but the question that pops up for me is once you saw he was in love with himself, why did you agree to sex so that you had to fake it? Why not just leave before?


Finally, who says a man can't fake it when there's a good reason to do so?

Snort! It was obviously an error in judgment. Stupid on my part to be with an arrogant dude like that, yes. The only thing I can say is that I didn't realize he THAT in love with himself until things were already happenin' and he'd blown off my suggestions with irritation. Had I known? I wouldn't have stayed.

 

[Wings27]

I have faked it once, and only once and that was the only bad sex I've ever had. It was also my only real one night stand. So yeah, there's 3 lessons learned. Don't lie, don't give in to his pleas if you don't crave him, don't be such a slut. Thank god I learned 2 out of the 3!

 

[Recidiva]

Snort! I didn't go back for seconds. It's not like it was a continuin' thing where I faked it constantly.

I was just tryin' to answer the original question of "have you ever faked it" . . . my answer was yes and I kinda felt like I was gettin' attacked for bein' honest.

Oh, no.

I'm just trying to present how it can actually be done with the intent of being supportive.

Funny, I mentioned this to my daughter and she said "Yeah, but it can be done to be bitchy."

Well...yes, that's been established.

There have been times when I was just at the long end of a relationship (since divorced) and I just...wanted...it...over.

I had no expectation it'd get any better and I just hadn't gotten to the point yet of saying "Yeah. Let's not do that any more." But I was really close.

And even then it wasn't the sex. It was the relationship. So I think that's my point.

If my brain isn't there, there's no point asking my body to come along.

 

[Recidiva]

I guess I have things backwards, but that's okay.

I might be the only woman who gets chronic headaches and craves the endorphin rush of sex to help fix them.

"Honey, I have a headache" is an invitation if not begging.

But I'm weird. I get that.