How NOT to Get Lit Laid- A Parody Thread

[Xerxes82]

Ok, so first you're going to need charts. Pie graphs and Venn diagrams are a good start, but the deeper into the statistical weeds you can get the better.

Second, you're going to need helium. Lots and lots of helium. That pitch change and squeak when you talk? Absolute fucking gold. Drops her panties every single time.

And finally, and I really can't stress this enough, you need to get your halitosis working for you. Stinky cheese and fried onions are a great combo. Load that shit up and really get your breath spicy.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Ok, so first you're going to need charts. Pie graphs and Venn diagrams are a good start, but the deeper into the statistical weeds you can get the better.

Second, you're going to need helium. Lots and lots of helium. That pitch change and squeak when you talk? Absolute fucking gold. Drops her panties every single time.

And finally, and I really can't stress this enough, you need to get your halitosis working for you. Stinky cheese and fried onions are a great combo. Load that shit up and really get your breath spicy.

I got your Pi Graph, daddy

 

[midnightsignal]

A good way to not get lit laid for guys is to put a post in the personals.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Create multiple alts to boost your rep with your target. Just figure out ways to complement yourself differently or it will be really lame. She will come to you begging to let her be your next conquest

 

[Liberia]

Create multiple alts to boost your rep with your target. Just figure out ways to complement yourself differently or it will be really lame. She will come to you begging to let her be your next conquest

I am his alt, all my compliments about his amazing voice are just trying to lure you towards his lovense account, where he will suddenly have problems with his phone, so that you have to send him 500 Dollar.

 

[Pad_Foot]

I am not her! I am a him! No wait! I am me!
I was others but I swore never to have any other name here forever more .
@Liberia

 

[Liberia]

I am not her! I am a him! No wait! I am me!
I was others but I swore never to have any other name here forever more .
@Liberia

Liar! You are me! You talk for hours to yourself and developed a second personality, telling yourself to eat veggies with plant protein.

 

[MrPimms]

Do not offer to be a butler. Suddenly, you’re servicing the scullery maid, taking orders for parties for the house … all without a sodding clue how to use one of them tell-her-phones.

 

[AtramentousRex]

Thanks guys, I'm pretty sure Ive mastered it. No more need for the thread. Carry on for anyone who needs to downsize their harem. Or reverse Harem. Whatever.

 

[barefootgirl69]

A good way to not get lit laid for guys is to put a post in the personals.

The BEST way not to get laid is to copy that personal and send it to a slew of women to get their attention!

 

[EvaLane]

No more need for the thread.

 

[AtramentousRex]

View attachment 2575819

Nope. I said what I had to say.

 

[RDM97756]

The BEST way not to get laid is to copy that personal and send it to a slew of women to get their attention!

But if I justify it, my chances increase right?

 

[RDM97756]

HNTGLL- participate in NNN

 

[LostHorizon]

Nope. I said what I had to say.

It doesn’t work that way

 

[AtramentousRex]

It doesn’t work that way

It works how I wish it to.

 

[LostHorizon]

It works how I wish it to.

There’s always more. You don’t determine when people stop sharing.

Shutting people down is definitely one way NOT to get Lit laid.

 

[AtramentousRex]

There’s always more. You don’t determine when people stop sharing.

Shutting people down is definitely one way NOT to get Lit laid.

If you have a problem with me, then we can take it to PM. But otherwise I am no longer engaging, because I don't want to ruin other peoples fun.

 

[LostHorizon]

If you have a problem with me, then we can take it to PM. But otherwise I am no longer engaging, because I don't want to ruin other peoples fun.

I don’t have a problem with you at all. Just weighing in on this riveting thread exploring this complex problem.

I hate to see the conversation come to an abrupt end.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Well, this is definitely not how to get laid.

 

[Neanderthal247]

Well, this is definitely not how to get laid.

They're not a stud like me, they can't help it

 

[lavendersilk]

PM unsolicited pictures of your bathroom toilet.

 

[Xerxes82]

PM unsolicited pictures of your bathroom toilet.

Unflushed

 

[LostHorizon]

PM unsolicited pictures of your bathroom toilet.

I always thought the toilet in the background added a little pizzazz to the picture.

 

[lavendersilk]

I always thought the toilet in the background added a little pizzazz to the picture.

Oh, no. It has to be the main focus. Dicks in the back, porcelain to the front!