Ladies- what would you do?

[heartoftexasgrl]

A little background so you know my situation. I'm divorced, currently unattached, and I love New Orleans. It's one of my favorite places to visit, and I go with friends at least once a year for nothing more than a "party weekend."

Now, my current dilemma.

A couple months ago, a girlfriend of mine and I made plans to go to NOLA next weekend. I bought the plane tickets (a steal at 130 bucks each for round trip tickets) and she paid me for her ticket. We didn't realize when we booked that it's the weekend before JazzFest starts, so finding lodging was a bit more challenging than it usually is. I generally rent a condo/vacation rental, but everything was booked, and hotels in the French Quarter were $500 a night, so I ended up just renting a room in Algiers (across the river from the French Quarter) on Hotwire, and rented a car as well. I prepaid for everything, about $600, non-refundable of course.

Fast forward to this last week. My girlfriend texts me that she can't go. Her kids have spring break that week (she doesn't have custody of them) and put a guilt trip on her about choosing to party rather than spending time with them. That's a whole 'nother conversation, but let me just say that I'm not going to change her mind.

So, I have a plane ticket, and a hotel for three nights, and no one to go with at this point. I've asked several friends if they'd like to come, and even offered to give them the $130 credit I'll have from her ticket (I told her she's not getting that back) towards the cost of their air fare, and to not charge them anything for the room and car, but most of my friends have families and kids and can't just take off for the weekend, and those that are single can't get off work on Monday.

I do know two people who will be in town that weekend, who live about an hour from me in Texas, but they are staying in another part of town. Honestly, I wouldn't mind doing a couple things with them while we're there, but they certainly wouldn't be my first choice for traveling companions.

So, what would you do, assuming I can't find a friend to go with? Would you go by yourself, or would you just take the credit from the airline to use for another trip sometime, and just lose the money I spent for the room and car? I'm really at a loss. I want to go, but the thought of being by myself on Bourbon Street seems rather desperate. Lol

PS- can I just say that people who flake on plans, whether it's for a lunch date, or a weekend trip, are some of the most annoying people in the world.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

Also, I know this isn't really a "how to" post, but I always see such good advice in this forum, and I didn't know where else to put it. If you think there's somewhere better suited, let me know.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

Your profile says

you're 37 and a single mum. You're also on Lit, so you enjoy sex and you have a fairly candid av, so you're probably confident and gregarious. If you go on your own, who knows what might happen? You may just meet the man of your dreams. Well, a nice bloke anyway. If not, you love New Orleans anyway, so why lose the money?

 

[PleasePeesMe]

Sorry,

I didn't see why your question couldn't be answered by a man.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

You're certainly welcome to answer. I was specifically looking for women's opinions because they will be more familiar with the level of discomfort that women can feel in bars, etc on their own, and also may relate more to the simple concern for safety.

The man of my dreams can't possibly live 500+ miles away, because then he's no longer the man of my dreams. Lol
And, unless he's a local, I'm unlikely to meet a guy who can just spend his whole weekend with me, and not be obligated to his fellow travel companions.

You're right about me being fairly confident and gregarious, and I'm pretty adventurous as well, but I don't want to go and not have fun. I also don't want to end up in a situation where I don't feel safe. As much as I love NOLA, there is a rather seedy side to it.

Thanks for the input.

 

[Evian]

I don't live in NOLA any more but I will say this. BE careful staying in Algiers. It's not a good neighborhood.

Go alone, or with friends. Just go. have fun. Taste around, be daring, be safe and just be in control of your own fun!

GL

 

[SweetErika]

That's crappy. Your friend should at least offer to pay her half of the other expenses so you're not stuck with the whole bill! Presumably, she budgeted the money anyway, so what's the harm? If you're only out $300, it might be an easier decision.

Also, have you checked into seeing if the hotel can resell your room? If they can, you could not go. If they can't, you could go.

Are you friends with anyone here who lives in the New Orleans area? You'd still be out the expenses, but that could be one avenue for companionship/safety.

It's short notice, and I'm not sure where you'd look, but you might see if you can find others (women, ideally) you could at least meet for coffee or something to see if you hit it off personality-wise, then decide if you want to hang out more while you're there. Here, the W4W section of Craigslist can sometimes be good for things like that. You might try posting a detailed ad on the NOLA w4w section seeking advice/suggestions and potential female activity partners. There's an Activity Partners section as well that might be worth posting an ad in. CL is always a toss-up, but I've actually met a couple of awesome women on there, and you certainly have time to voice verify, cam/pic verify and set up a safe meeting in a public place that's away from your hotel. Maybe someone else will have better suggestions on sites that would allow you to meet traveling companions or activity partners within your timeframe.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

I don't live in NOLA any more but I will say this. BE careful staying in Algiers. It's not a good neighborhood.

Go alone, or with friends. Just go. have fun. Taste around, be daring, be safe and just be in control of your own fun!

GL

I've never stayed in Algiers. I usually stay in the Garden District, close to St Charles, and we always take the streetcar when headed to the French quarter, and then get a taxi back in the wee hours.
Is the ferry safe, or would I be better off driving and then cabbing it back if I've had too much to drink?

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

That's crappy. Your friend should at least offer to pay her half of the other expenses so you're not stuck with the whole bill! Presumably, she budgeted the money anyway, so what's the harm? If you're only out $300, it might be an easier decision.

Also, have you checked into seeing if the hotel can resell your room? If they can, you could not go. If they can't, you could go.

Are you friends with anyone here who lives in the New Orleans area? You'd still be out the expenses, but that could be one avenue for companionship/safety.

It's short notice, and I'm not sure where you'd look, but you might see if you can find others (women, ideally) you could at least meet for coffee or something to see if you hit it off personality-wise, then decide if you want to hang out more while you're there. Here, the W4W section of Craigslist can sometimes be good for things like that. You might try posting a detailed ad on the NOLA w4w section seeking advice/suggestions and potential female activity partners. There's an Activity Partners section as well that might be worth posting an ad in. CL is always a toss-up, but I've actually met a couple of awesome women on there, and you certainly have time to voice verify, cam/pic verify and set up a safe meeting in a public place that's away from your hotel. Maybe someone else will have better suggestions on sites that would allow you to meet traveling companions or activity partners within your timeframe.

I checked with the hotel, and they were
not helpful at all re: reselling the room, or even just giving me credit to use on a different weekend. I've used Hotwire tons of times to book travel, but never had a situation where I needed to cancel, and it just never occurred to me that we may cancel this trip, or I would have booked another way. :/

I agree that the right thing for my friend to do would be to offer to pay half, but she hasn't, and I know that she could use that money to entertain her kids that week, and it's just not worth causing a riff in our friendship over for $300. I'm certainly not rich, but I have more disposable income than she does, and that money would be a much bigger deal to her than it would to me, if you know what I mean.

Using CL to seek out a female companion is a good idea. I hadn't thought of that, and I'll certainly check into it. Thanks Erika.

 

[SweetErika]

I checked with the hotel, and they were
not helpful at all re: reselling the room, or even just giving me credit to use on a different weekend.

Well, that's a red flag, isn't it?

My husband travels a ton for work, so we stay at a bunch of hotels throughout the summer. Even lower-end places like Super8 have always been happy to try to resell the room for us if they could, especially since shorter notice usually means they can charge the new people an equal or greater rate.

Anyway, hopefully Hotwire guarantees their properties so you can get a refund if the hotel turns out to be bad. When you add their unwillingness to work with you (I'm assuming you spoke to the manager, rather than a front desk person who might not want to do any extra work?) with the info about the neighborhood, I'd say you have cause to be concerned.

The only other thing I can think of is checking with the credit card you paid Hotwire with. Some do include travel insurance in their member services or might be willing to lobby for a refund on your behalf.

I agree that the right thing for my friend to do would be to offer to pay half, but she hasn't, and I know that she could use that money to entertain her kids that week, and it's just not worth causing a riff in our friendship over for $300. I'm certainly not rich, but I have more disposable income than she does, and that money would be a much bigger deal to her than it would to me, if you know what I mean.

Kudos to you for taking the high road over the money!

I wonder why your friend can't go with you AND have her kids for the rest of the week. Have you suggested that to her as a possible compromise, or is she set on having them the whole time?

Using CL to seek out a female companion is a good idea. I hadn't thought of that, and I'll certainly check into it. Thanks Erika.

You're welcome, and hopefully it proves to be a good lead for you!

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

Well, that's a red flag, isn't it?

My husband travels a ton for work, so we stay at a bunch of hotels throughout the summer. Even lower-end places like Super8 have always been happy to try to resell the room for us if they could, especially since shorter notice usually means they can charge the new people an equal or greater rate.

Anyway, hopefully Hotwire guarantees their properties so you can get a refund if the hotel turns out to be bad. When you add their unwillingness to work with you (I'm assuming you spoke to the manager, rather than a front desk person who might not want to do any extra work?) with the info about the neighborhood, I'd say you have cause to be concerned.

The only other thing I can think of is checking with the credit card you paid Hotwire with. Some do include travel insurance in their member services or might be willing to lobby for a refund on your behalf.


Kudos to you for taking the high road over the money!

I wonder why your friend can't go with you AND have her kids for the rest of the week. Have you suggested that to her as a possible compromise, or is she set on having them the whole time?


You're welcome, and hopefully it proves to be a good lead for you!

I'll check with my bank. I used my debit card rather than a credit card, so I'm not sure if they'll have anything like that.

I did suggest that to her, but she has to drive to meet her ex halfway (about 300 miles for her half) and he's only able to do it on the weekend.

I don't have to decide today, so we'll see what pans out. Thanks again for the advice.

 

[fire_breeze]

My not-so humble opinion: go. Be careful, but go, because you might actually regret not going. You have an opportunity to go - you are adventurous, so why not see this as an adventure? Go to those places that you've always wanted to check out but couldn't. Or, alternatively, visit those places that you absolutely love. It can be fun to go to that restaurant on your own or to wander in that place.

I've travelled often on my own, and never had a single problem. Granted, I didn't go out at night much, because bar-hopping and clubbing is not my usual scene, but even the few times I was out late at night, I've never felt threatened because I was a single female traveller.

And for what it's worth, one of the places I've stayed was in the red-light district of Athens. Granted, I shared a room with my (male) cousin, but we didn't 'travel' together. He did his thing, I did mine, and we occasionally met up for either dinner or lunch. Other than that, I was fine, and felt safe.

Bonne Voyages!

 

[Nicole_32]

Seriously?

Just go. I live there, people live there, we're not all deamons. Just be safe at night and watch how much you drink....Bourbon street really? That is like the least attractive place in NOLA....

 

[LustyLeo22]

Go. You will meet people and have a great time! I have met many women traveling alone when I was by myself as well - in bars even! Seems like we tend to gravitate towards each other. Think of it as a celebration of your independence and strength as a woman . Have fun!

 

[o_so_wet]

Whats the big whoop ? Just go already. New Orleans is a crazy fun time,,,Algiers Landing rocks....you'll have a great time. Stop overthinking it.

 

[gothic_nymph]

oh hell!!!!! A weekend all to myself? I would go! in a heartbeat!

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

oh hell!!!!! A weekend all to myself? I would go! in a heartbeat!

I have tons of weekends to myself. One of the better aspects of being divorced.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

I totally agree with your view!

Which one? Lol

 

[grammaticus]

I lived in NOLA years ago and have been back in the past couple of years, so I can only say "Yeah you rite" a propos of avoiding Bourbon St. and the other Disneyland-like aspects of the Quarter. Check out nolamenu.com for great restaurant reviews.

 

[SweetErika]

Which one? Lol

It appears "Elena" is essentially posting nonsense so she can pimp the commercial link in her sig. I'm not going to click on it, but in an outright spam post, she associated it with wedding gowns. If she actually DOES want to participate in the discussions here, hopefully she'll come to her senses and start abiding by the site rules before she gets the "Loves Spam" custom title or banned.

 

[infinity706]

Personally, I'd totally go ahead and by myself if I couldn't find anyone else. I even went on a week long cruise by myself once.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

I'm leaning towards going.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

If anyone was wondering, I did end up coming to NO alone. I'm having a good time, although definitely a much different experience than when I come with friends. Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[Hopeorless1]

If anyone was wondering, I did end up coming to NO alone. I'm having a good time, although definitely a much different experience than when I come with friends. Thanks for the encouragement.

I just checked int othis thread, and as going to suggest that you go alone anyway. Kudos! And glad you are having fun!! I imagine things like window shopping and such actually would be funner alone Thanks for letting us know what you decided

 

[billrichards41]

If anyone was wondering, I did end up coming to NO alone. I'm having a good time, although definitely a much different experience than when I come with friends. Thanks for the encouragement.

Cool! Good for you. I went to nola alone on business in the past and had fun.
Met people I still keep in touch with. I hope it was a great weekend and you got to explore.