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LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Laughter is Contagious

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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and his own sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
 
techsan said:
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and his own sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
Click to expand...


Good morning {{{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}}} :kiss:

Thank you sweetie. That one is priceless! :D
 
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}

Good to see you today ... glad you're still able to laugh with us. You are laughing WITH us, aren't you? not AT us? :kiss: :rose: :kiss:
 
techsan said:
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}

Good to see you today ... glad you're still able to laugh with us. You are laughing WITH us, aren't you? not AT us? :kiss: :rose: :kiss:
Click to expand...


Always with you {{{{{{{{{{{techie}}}}}}}}}}} :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:
 
 
 
 
 
wally2450 said:
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends one day.
.......................
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the window sill while he was licking his ass."
Click to expand...
TOOOOOOOO Funny Wally! :nana: :nana:
 
techsan said:
Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
.....................................
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were.
Click to expand...
Yes, yes Tech... I'm sure it has everything to do with the ways of the world ;) :D
 
Secretary

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said,
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he
complained. "Tell me some good news for once."

"All right, here's some good news," said the
secretary. "You're not sterile."
 
Evening Everybody! Just a quick stop for a few chuckles!!!!

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with
bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting
in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating
them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the
line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his
head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was
a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her
finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's
prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's
face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
**************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
**************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not
sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
***********************************
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait
to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000
Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant
octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
leaks!!"
***************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add
"es."
(Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one?)
****************************************
" Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
********************************************
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He
had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her
life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green
Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in
my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up
is soldiers in your cup!"
 
Getting Old ain't fun, or is it???

--- I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.


--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?


--- I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."


---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.


---The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.


---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."


---I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."


---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.


---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!


--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.


- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh, just send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.
 
copperbutterfly said:
Evening Everybody! Just a quick stop for a few chuckles!!!!

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with
bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting
in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating
them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the
line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his
head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was
a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her
finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's
prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's
face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
**************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
**************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not
sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
***********************************
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait
to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000
Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant
octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
leaks!!"
***************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add
"es."
(Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one?)
****************************************
" Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
********************************************
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He
had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her
life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green
Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in
my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up
is soldiers in your cup!"
Click to expand...
Out of the mouths of babes :) These are all great (((Copper))) Thanks!
 
techsan said:
Getting Old ain't fun, or is it???

--- I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.


--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?


--- I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."


---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.


---The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.


---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."


---I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."


---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.


---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!


--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.


- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh, just send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.
Click to expand...
LOL!!! These are all great! :nana: :nana:
 
copperbutterfly said:
Evening Everybody! Just a quick stop for a few chuckles!!!!

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with
bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting
in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating
them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the
line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his
head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was
a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her
finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's
prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's
face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
**************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
**************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not
sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
***********************************
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait
to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000
Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant
octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
leaks!!"
***************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add
"es."
(Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one?)
****************************************
" Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
********************************************
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He
had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her
life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green
Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in
my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up
is soldiers in your cup!"
Click to expand...

Thank you copper! Those are grand. :D
 
techsan said:
Getting Old ain't fun, or is it???

--- I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.


--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?


--- I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."


---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.


---The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.


---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."


---I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."


---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.


---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!


--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.


- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh, just send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.
Click to expand...


Good afternoon {{{{{{{techie}}}}}}}}} :kiss: :heart:

That is so great! Have to send it to my folks too. :D
 
Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}} Here's another for you...

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side" That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
 
The lawn mower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

"When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
 
Butt Measurement...smile for the day!!!

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says, "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue grill."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue grill!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely bru shes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
 
Bubba

Bubba, a furniture dealer from Arkansas, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Arkansas.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.
 
techsan said:
Butt Measurement...smile for the day!!!

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says, "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue grill."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue grill!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely bru shes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
Click to expand...



LMAO!!! Thank you for all of your jokes {{{{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}} :kiss:
 
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