Legalizing and Normalizing Sex Work - A Net Positive or Negative for Society?

[IronCross]

Take this elsewhere please. It has no relevance to the thread. Moreover, I want NO association whatsoever w/ a story (fact or fiction) or anyone who has written about "grooming." ..Parts of my extended family were decimated by abuse at the hands of a trusted adult; suicides, drug addiction, and lifelong reclusion were the result. These sorts of wounds NEVER heal.

Jenni... I've read and enjoyed your other posts regarding your experience w/ sex work. ..Please don't disappear from this thread. ..Just keep it relevant please.

My sincerest apologies, LMWM321..........Out of respect for you and your valid complaint, I've deleted my off-topic post.

 

[Lance_Castro]

Mail Order Brides are legitimate sex work fully condoned by government and parts of society.

Marrying for Citizenship is a transaction.

Saint Anne says Butters was a mail order bride from kazakstan for example.

And I’ve flown women in for sexitimes many times.

Nothing wrong with that!

Its time to decrim and destig sex work.

 

[Politruk]

IMO, the threat to "society" and resistance is that sex workers take the control a spouse has over their partner.

If sex work were legalized, it creates more tensions in households when one spouse denies sex to the other and does so to get what they want.

Actually, it sounds like it relieves those tensions.

 

[LMWM321]

Actually, it sounds like it relieves those tensions.

I tend to agree. I'm fairly certain that for many wives, their refusal to allow their husband to visit a sex worker has much more to do with fear of arrest, fear of neighbors finding out, fear of attachments forming, fear of STD's... etc.. than it does with yielding a source of control over the husbands. And many of those fears can be significantly reduced by seeing a Sex Worker who, as I propose in the OP, is trained, licensed and bonded.

..Not to be glib but if a marriage is so dysfunctional - as Lifestyle66 suggests - that sex is used as a reward or a cudgel, then it's likely to be a failed marriage anyway.

 

[Moribundromantic]

I tend to agree. I'm fairly certain that for many wives, their refusal to allow their husband to visit a sex worker has much more to do with fear of arrest, fear of neighbors finding out, fear of attachments forming, fear of STD's... etc.. than it does with yielding a source of control over the husbands. And many of those fears can be significantly reduced by seeing a Sex Worker who, as I propose in the OP, is trained, licensed and bonded.

..Not to be glib but if a marriage is so dysfunctional - as Lifestyle66 suggests - that sex is used as a reward or a cudgel, then it's likely to be a failed marriage anyway.

The reason marriages fall apart isnt because of sex. No sex is a symptom of a MUCH bigger problem. Men and women want different things from relationships.

No one is entitled to sex by the way. You wont die without it. Is it important? Of course. I speak as someone with a very high sex drive- higher than all my partners. Yet, Ive never once thought my partner was "with holding" or "punishing me because I see them as full humans with thoughts and feelings. I also dont desire to have sex with someone who doesnt want it. The reason women dont want sex is largely because a lot of husbands dont partipate as adults in a relationship. You dont get sex anymore just because you have a big boy job. Relationships require trust and intimacy outside of sex. A lot of men are stuck in 1950 where theres this transactional relationship that allows men to do what they want and come home to a mommy bang maid. I wonder why women wouldnt want to sleep with someone who treats them as a sex doll.

Really, its a much larger societal shift. Men who dont want to grow are being left behind. Women arent witholding anything. We are humans who dont want to have sex with men who put zero effort in. You can yell angry feminist all you want, but the fact of the matter is men arent taught emotional intelligence or how to deal with their feelings beyond punching holes in walls or throwing tantrums. Again, if a woman doesnt have to put up with that why would we?

I feel sorry for men who think so transactionally. It must be hard to be stuck with so few emotions thinking life is your job and you will die without getting laid. Theres so much outside of that that makes sex awesome(even if its not with just one person.)

Sex work wont help anyone. It also puts an unfair onus on women as if men are only unhappy because women wont spread their legs for them. It also puts sex workers at the hands of violent men which is also not ok.

I think its really kind of weird that you think sex on demand will make unicorns and puppies. Empty people dont get filled up that way. The sex thing is a convienent way to blame someone else for your own unhappiness and unwilling ness to be a likeable person and a good partner.

If you really feel you will die withoutnsex on demand and your wife is a harpy holding it over your head, why the hell are you married? You clearly neither like nor respect her. Divorce is an excellent thing then. You can fuck who you want then. The reason men like you dont is you want free housework, the status being married brings and deep down you know it wouldnt be any easier or any more sex on your own.

My point is its no one elses fault you are this unhappy. Even if you had sex 24/7 you are missing connection which of course sex can bring, but not with men who think its the only thing. One day soon your dick wont work. Do you just kill yourself then?

If you are unhappy in a relationship move on. Let the other person go and find fullfillment with someone who sees them as a human and not a scapegoat mommy bangmaid.

I mean none of this unkindly. This thread however is unkind. Women arent the source of your unhappiness. You arent owed or entitled to sex. Sex workers will not give you the human connection you need anymore than treating your partner like an inconvient appliance that broke down. Women arent lonely because we have community and friends. Sex isnt the hard part for anyone. Connection is. You cant be connected if you see your partner as a fleshlight or in a zero sum game.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I tend to agree. I'm fairly certain that for many wives, their refusal to allow their husband to visit a sex worker has much more to do with fear of arrest, fear of neighbors finding out, fear of attachments forming, fear of STD's... etc.. than it does with yielding a source of control over the husbands. And many of those fears can be significantly reduced by seeing a Sex Worker who, as I propose in the OP, is trained, licensed and bonded.

..Not to be glib but if a marriage is so dysfunctional - as Lifestyle66 suggests - that sex is used as a reward or a cudgel, then it's likely to be a failed marriage anyway.

Actually, it sounds like it relieves those tensions.

I don't disagree that sex workers can relieve sexual stress in marriages.

I'm pointing out that some/many marriages have evolved with one or the other in the marriage depending on the way their sexual relationship has evolved. A wife might have learned to use sex to get what she wants from her husband. And a husband might have learned to use his wife for sex in a way which precludes him from spending money to get his needs met. And any change in those inter-personal dynamics would change that balance of power in those marriages.

Whether you like or agree with those who have such sexual power plays, the reality is that legalizing sex work would have unintended consequences, driving one or the other in many marriages away.

Whether it's "I can do better by paying for a BJ?" or "Go get it elsewhere, but don't you DARE spend the family budget for it!" or "My hooker/escort/masseuse does it better", there will still be tensions, ... just different ones.

It takes a special kind of relationship between the husband and wife to allow and accept such sexual exploration outside of marriage.

 

[LMWM321]

The reason marriages fall apart isnt because of sex. No sex is a symptom of a MUCH bigger problem. Men and women want different things from relationships.

Moribundromantic,

You've contributed to this thread by writing a long and thoughtful reply. Thank you! That said, I'm not sure at whom you are directing your ire. The embedded quote is from me but I think you may be responding to Lifestyle66. Please clarify.

Your comment that you don't need sex to live is jarring to me. Yes, you are technically correct, but the same can be said of laughter. Sure, you can live without laughter but is that a full life? Well, many people feel the same about sex. Furthermore, there are researchers who believe regular sex - even casual sex - may help people live healthier and longer. If so, is it fair then that only those who are lucky in love get to benefit from sex?

To be clear - I wholeheartedly agree that the best sex is shared between loving partners and should always be offered and received willingly rather than demanded (bangmaid!?? Yuck!). Personally, I'm very blessed to have a partner of >35yrs. We have sex 2-3 times/wk and it is almost always initiated by my wife. I've never demanded or pressured her for it.

But not everyone is so lucky. What about all the lonely people who are persistently without a partner? Or whose partner is no longer interested in sex? Yes, to your point, some (maybe many!) of those partners lost interest b/c their husband is horrible, but that's not always true. And it is NOT always the husband who is complaining about the lack of sex. Indeed, there are many posts here on Lit from women who are in a loving but sexless marriage. And what about those with physical disabilities whose challenges make finding a romantic partner even more difficult? Shouldn't they nonetheless be able to enjoy occasional physical intimacy? If you ask them I'll bet many would say that paid sex with a real person - who is kind and patient with their unique challenges - is far preferable to sex with a fleshlight or involuntary celibacy.

As for sex workers - female or male - being victimized... Well that is precisely why I feel it should be legalized and regulated. In my OP I suppose a future where Sex Workers have all the respect and protections that any other kind of therapist has. And anyone who assaults a sex worker would be treated precisely the same as someone who assaulted their Doctor, Physical Therapist or Massage Therapist.

Anyway... Thanks and please continue the conversation.

 

[Lifestyle66]

The reason marriages fall apart isnt because of sex. No sex is a symptom of a MUCH bigger problem. Men and women want different things from relationships.

No one is entitled to sex by the way. You wont die without it. Is it important? Of course. I speak as someone with a very high sex drive- higher than all my partners. Yet, Ive never once thought my partner was "with holding" or "punishing me because I see them as full humans with thoughts and feelings. I also dont desire to have sex with someone who doesnt want it. The reason women dont want sex is largely because a lot of husbands dont partipate as adults in a relationship. You dont get sex anymore just because you have a big boy job. Relationships require trust and intimacy outside of sex. A lot of men are stuck in 1950 where theres this transactional relationship that allows men to do what they want and come home to a mommy bang maid. I wonder why women wouldnt want to sleep with someone who treats them as a sex doll.

Really, its a much larger societal shift. Men who dont want to grow are being left behind. Women arent witholding anything. We are humans who dont want to have sex with men who put zero effort in. You can yell angry feminist all you want, but the fact of the matter is men arent taught emotional intelligence or how to deal with their feelings beyond punching holes in walls or throwing tantrums. Again, if a woman doesnt have to put up with that why would we?

I feel sorry for men who think so transactionally. It must be hard to be stuck with so few emotions thinking life is your job and you will die without getting laid. Theres so much outside of that that makes sex awesome(even if its not with just one person.)

Sex work wont help anyone. It also puts an unfair onus on women as if men are only unhappy because women wont spread their legs for them. It also puts sex workers at the hands of violent men which is also not ok.

I think its really kind of weird that you think sex on demand will make unicorns and puppies. Empty people dont get filled up that way. The sex thing is a convienent way to blame someone else for your own unhappiness and unwilling ness to be a likeable person and a good partner.

If you really feel you will die withoutnsex on demand and your wife is a harpy holding it over your head, why the hell are you married? You clearly neither like nor respect her. Divorce is an excellent thing then. You can fuck who you want then. The reason men like you dont is you want free housework, the status being married brings and deep down you know it wouldnt be any easier or any more sex on your own.

My point is its no one elses fault you are this unhappy. Even if you had sex 24/7 you are missing connection which of course sex can bring, but not with men who think its the only thing. One day soon your dick wont work. Do you just kill yourself then?

If you are unhappy in a relationship move on. Let the other person go and find fullfillment with someone who sees them as a human and not a scapegoat mommy bangmaid.

I mean none of this unkindly. This thread however is unkind. Women arent the source of your unhappiness. You arent owed or entitled to sex. Sex workers will not give you the human connection you need anymore than treating your partner like an inconvient appliance that broke down. Women arent lonely because we have community and friends. Sex isnt the hard part for anyone. Connection is. You cant be connected if you see your partner as a fleshlight or in a zero sum game.

You seem to be expressing an idea that marriage and relationships have little to do with sex, and that it's men who are "demanding" it. And while you might think you have a high sex drive (at least higher than your partners), ... in my experience, MOST women (and even most men) have no clue as to what a high sex drive is or means.

I say this coming from both a failed marriage, where my (yes, "feminist") first wife wanted little or nothing to do sexually after our kids were born and I had a vasectomy. She focused solely on her job outside the house, and spending any time with me or the kids was an unpleasant chore to her. So, we divorced.

My next "partner in life" was a woman with a truly high sex drive. She wanted it at least as much as I did, which I told her when we got together was four to six times per week. Fast forward ten years later, and she was having trouble with lack of energy, and feeling just lethargic most of the time. Sex became an unpleasant chore. THEN she heard from several female friends of the benefits of hormone therapy from a health spa. Slow-release hormone pellets were inserted just under the skin every three month. By the time she got her third set (just after the sixth month), her sex drive three days after pellet insertion took off like a rocket. Over the following eight to ten weeks until that set of pellets began to wear off, my wife was on me almost every night of the week. And if I wasn't up to it, she'd use her toys (which I happily bought for my own relief!) You should see her toy collection! That was three years ago, and she hasn't stopped those quarterly hormone treatments. She gets lethargic and depressed, recognizing when they're wearing off, and she even gets a little angry that she can't get the next set sooner. (It's a controlled substance, supervised by doctors and tracked through prescriptions and blood tests.)

The medical FACT which is inconveniently ignored by "feminists" (ie. my ex-wife) is that hormones are real, and hormones drive mood swings. Hormones can be responsible for unpleasant angry emotional reactions (recognized even by feminists when defending against PMS), as well as driving even a woman to feel a burning NEED for sex! And if a woman can feel that burning NEED for sex, ... it's an inconvenient truth then that MEN can feel that same way.

The reason marriages fall apart is due to ignorance. That which brought the couple together (youthful high hormone levels) grows old and declines in one or both of them. And when that happens to just one, the other is left to wonder WTF? Who changed?

Oh, and BTW, I don't want a wife for free housework. I want a partner who wants and needs me, and who I can depend upon to recognize my wants and needs. I want to make her happy, ... as long as she wants the same for me. EDIT: And after over 13 years together, my current wife both enjoys how I treat her and she keeps me happy, too ... with sex (when I can keep up with her)!

 

[Vetbod]

Prostitution is one of the oldest trades in human history and it’s not going anywhere. Legalizing this industry could make it safer for the provider and the consumer.

A grown woman, or man, should be able to do as they please with their body.

 

[ericalauren]

From what I understand, the vast majority of full-service sex workers want sex work to be legalized. I, of course, support the legalization of all forms of sex work, including full-contact sex work.

 

[JimDee676]

I have no problem with legalizing sex work. I say legalize it with two stipulations: All sex workers must be tested frequently (how often should be determined) for STDs and those in this line of business must pay taxes.

 

[LMWM321]

I have no problem with legalizing sex work. I say legalize it with two stipulations: All sex workers must be tested frequently (how often should be determined) for STDs and those in this line of business must pay taxes.

Agree w/ JD... But few have commented on the larger question.. Which is...

Would legalizing sex work be a net positive for society? ..Would giving those who are unable to find an intimacy partner, or whose partner no longer desires intimacy, a respectable and legal way of getting it be good for America (or elsewhere)? ..Or would it just be another vice - like alcohol, gambling, marijuana, etc.. - that can deplete bank accounts and damage relationships?

 

[JimDee676]

I see it as a net positive. It provides a sexual outlet. And, like today, there will be various segments in the market, from the high-priced call girl on one side to the low-priced one.

 

[myrionomos]

I have no problem with legalizing sex work. I say legalize it with two stipulations: All sex workers must be tested frequently (how often should be determined) for STDs and those in this line of business must pay taxes.

I work as a sex worker in a decriminalized jurisdiction, Sydney Australia. Yes, sex workers should be tested regularly - monthly where I work. This should not however be legislated as compulsory. A voluntary system works better and produces better results. Why? let me explain. Firstly the worker will want to protect her most valuable asset as will the people who run her place of work. Workers will usually trust and participate in a system when they can be guaranteed that they will not be personally identified, it should be a case number known only to herself and the treating doctor.
Any policing system enforcing a regulation will involve other parties which will endanger both her privacy and that of her client. That mistrust will lead to significant avoidance/delay of treatment and lead to further un-diagnosed STD's.

Victoria our second biggest State (also decriminalized) used to have a compulsory testing programme. They have recently copied our biggest State, NSW in switching to a voluntary system. The NSW system had produced consistently better results for many years because of better, earlier testing participation. Self interest always wins the best result.

We pay taxes. The ATO (Australian Tax Office) has a very good idea of what we earn and understatement of earnings merely invites an audit. I suspect that the IRS could do the same.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Wow so much bullshit.

The question was should sex work be legalised, not how it works in the framework of a christian marriage. Fuck that shit.

Sex work is legal in the uk (streetwalking not). But still forced underground. Sex workers need proper regular healthcare, therapy and legal protection. If it's legalised it can be regulated and you start eliminating sex trafficking and all the downsides.

Whether or not your husband is going to fuck an escort is irrelevant.

 

[LMWM321]

@myrionomos​

@AprilTwenties​

Thanks for weighing in.

Please share more about your thoughts on SW. Specifically, comment on one or more of the following....

• have you seen Sex Workers save sexless but otherwise loving marriages? (yes people, they do exist).
• do many (some) of your clients have permission from their spouses to see you? Is it begrudging or enthusiastic permission?
• should there be training programs and certifications to treat those w/ mental or severe physical disabilities? ..A group that might otherwise go a lifetime without experience the joys of physical intimacy.
• To be fair, there are pitfalls. ..Like a naive client spending themselves into debt in pursuit of a romantic and exclusive relationship w/ a SW. How to avoid this? How do we assure a Code of Conduct for Sex Workers that is similar to what other Therapists must live by?
• what can be done to eliminate the stigma associated w/ sex work? Might there come a day where it's perceived no differently than being a Physical therapist or Massage therapist?

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

• have you seen Sex Workers save loving but sexless marriages? (yes people, they do exist).

How is that relevant?

• do many (some) of your clients have permission from their spouses to see you? Is it begrudging or enthusiastic permission?

See above

• should there be training programs and certifications to treat those w/ mental or severe physical disabilities? ..A group that might otherwise go a lifetime without experience the joys of physical intimacy.

Not a bad idea. But disabled people are already using sex workers.

• To be fair, there are pitfalls. ..Like a naive client spending themselves into debt in pursuit of a romantic and exclusive relationship w/ a SW. How to avoid this? How do we assure a Code of Conduct for Sex Workers that is similar to what other Therapists must live by?

How about a code of conduct for clients? Why is there no code of conduct to stop casinos emptying people's pockets?

• what can be done to eliminate the stigma associated w/ sex work? Might there come a day where it's perceived no differently than being a Physical therapist or Massage therapist?

When you legalise it and legitimise it.

 

[LMWM321]

All good counter-questions Lucy..

I ask the first three questions b/c I see it as relevant to hastening the normalization of SW. ..Of revealing and convincing "polite society" that there are clear cultural upsides to supporting SW. But to be clear, I don't think they are prerequisites. In the end, any Woman or Man should be able to do whatever the hell they want with their body with other consenting adults - and monetize it if they want.

As to your comment about a Code of Conduct for clients? Yes, damn straight there should be one. And any client who fails to abide by it should be subject to a lawsuit or arrest. AND a Sex Worker should be JUST as comfortable calling the police to report an assault (or if the client suffers a medical crisis) as any other therapist.

 

[policywank]

I start from the perspective that just because something could be harmful to certain people in certain circumstances doesn't mean it should be illegal. There are plenty of things - cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, gambling, unhealthy food - that can be or unequivocally are bad for us, but we regulate them rather than restricting them altogether. In my mind there are two main reasons for this. In many cases restricting these things doesn't make them go away it drives them to a black market where they cause more problems (crime, inability to regulate, etc.) than if they are legal and regulated. Also we do generally have an ethos in democratic countries that says government should stay out of our business because we put a very high value on freedom and government overreach has many deleterious affects.

Meanwhile, most western societies have been reversing restrictions that are of a more moralistic nature. In many cases these were things that were never about minimizing harm, but about dictating morality to people. As one of our well known Prime Ministers here in Canada once said "there is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation." That was several decades ago and he was referring to a law that, among other things, decriminalized homosexuality.

I think that the sex trade fits in the moralistic framework more so than inescapable harms. The decision of two consenting adults to have sex for money is not any of anybody else's business. The exception would be the spouse of the paying customer, but that is between that married couple. The premise that a wife should be able to count on the government to make sex for money unavailable to her husband is a bit like her expecting the government to restrict his access to alcohol because his drinking is hurting their marriage. It is not the role of government to restrict his freedom to bring him in line with what his wife wants.

While it is true that the sex trade is not free from harms, I think that most of those harms come from the fact that it has been criminalized and driven into the shadows. To the extent that sex for money can have a negative impact on a marriage I don't think it is a matter of taking an otherwise great situation and ruining it. It is more likely a matter of a marriage that is not in balance in terms of sexual engagement. Again to use the alcohol analogy if a partner turns to booze because they are unhappy in the marriage the core issue isn't resolved by outlawing booze.

For sex workers I think that decriminalization and regulation would greatly improve their lot in life. And taking away that stigma could be a very useful outlet for the people that would want to use their service. Perhaps it would even lead to more enlightened views about sex generally and a greater respect for human sexual desire.

Personally as a wife and woman I do not think it is ever ok to willfully deny sexual engagement with your husband simply because you don't feel like it. Sex is part of the marital contract. Not sex on demand, but at least a reasonable effort. If you really don't want to fulfill that need it is reasonable that he be allowed to fulfill it elsewhere. A paid professional would seem to be one of the ideal alternatives.

On balance I think it would be a net positive. There will be some people for whom it is a negative - the guy who pours all his money into it or who uses it as an excuse to stay isolated and not embrace productive relationships. But I don't think that denying other people freedoms, protection and enlightenment is justified by the desire to protect those people from themselves.

 

[Yarglenurp]

I think sex work should be decriminalized for purely practical reasons. On a personal level, I would never use their services and would likely look down on those who do.

But…, it’s clear as the azure sky that the rich and powerful have prostitutes. They just cloak them in layers so that they’re not called prostitutes. Elon musk doesn’t have prostitutes… he has employees who are just totally qualified, happen to be hot, and are totally willing to bear his children. And on the off-chance one of these people get caught with a prostitute, they have friends with the AG office and nothing comes of it. They then use these double standards to entrap the up-and-comers so that they can elevate only those willing to kiss the ring of the inner circle.

The criminalization of sex work is very much just a “rules for thee, not for me” type of thing. If we ordinary plebs do it, it’s a fine and possible jail time, but if politicians do it (often the moral crusader type), then it’s excused as men being men. Suddenly there are more important issues to take care of, and the elder pastor rails on about how the policy is more important than the man.

 

[LMWM321]

I think sex work should be decriminalized for purely practical reasons. On a personal level, I would never use their services and would likely look down on those who do.

Hmmm.. Why? The dating world is quite competitive... What if someone has a debilitating physical limitation or mood disorder? We'd all agree that the world sucks for being so shallow and superficial as to make it near-impossible for this person to find a partner... So why would you look down on this person for reaching out to a SW to fulfill an irrepressible biological need? Yes, sex is better w/ someone you love and who loves you, but don't you think they might still prefer sex w/ a paid partner to forced celibacy?

 

[Yarglenurp]

Hmmm.. Why? The dating world is quite competitive... What if someone has a debilitating physical disability or mood disorder? We'd all agree that the world sucks for being so shallow and superficial as to make it near-impossible for this person to find a partner... So why would you look down on this person for reaching out to a SW to fulfill an irrepressible biological need? Yes, sex is better w/ someone you love and who loves you, but don't you think they might still prefer sex w/ a paid partner to forced celibacy?

sure? There are extenuating circumstances. If you’ve got a disability, you’re older, you’re widowed, etc… all good.

But lots of the guys using prostitutes aren’t that. They’re just normal dudes who’d rather pay a prostitute than go home and nurture their relationships with their family or put in the effort of forming real relationships.

I don’t hate them for it or think they’re evil for it, I just lose a bit of respect for them. I’d also lose respect for them for getting addicted to video games, choosing to get drunk and watch football at the local pub each weekend instead of playing with their kids, or gambling away their spending money.

I also would probably remain friends with them. It’s not like you have to 100% respect your friend’s choices. I’m sure plenty of my friends think I make dumb choices too.

It’s like any other vice… just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it should be lauded. Some things are legal simply because the cost of making it illegal is way worse. I’d be perfectly happy in a world where prostitution is legal but just discouraged. My problem is with using the violence of the state to enforce this discouragement, where I think education and healthier alternatives should be the norm. Carrot, not stick.

 

[policywank]

I think that the reasons for using a prostitute can be quite varied and do not all come with any kind of negative connotation. Yes there are people who don't have a realistically viable alternative and those that are selfish. But there are also those who have limitations in their primary relationship - due to interest level, spousal health reasons or whatever - for whom a prostitute could be a viable outlet with the support of their spouse. There are people who aren't in relationships who prefer a no strings attached and therefore no feelings hurt sort of arrangement. And some of those who aren't in a relationship may prefer it that way (either for the long-term or the time being). Or perhaps the person who just exited a relationship and wants some companionship without needing to dive back into the dating pool.

It is often the case that a person who wants a non-committal or non-exclusive relationship may find it difficult to find a partner, not because they are non-dateable but because all of the available candidates are looking for something more committal. In that case it is more honourable in my view to hire a prostitute than it is to mislead someone for the sake of sex.

 

[LMWM321]

But lots of the guys using prostitutes aren’t that. They’re just normal dudes who’d rather pay a prostitute than go home and nurture their relationships with their family or put in the effort of forming real relationships.

Well, that's true but perhaps only because that's the group least discouraged by the possibility of being stigmatized.

But if it were truly normalized - like massage therapy - it wouldn't be just guys with relationship avoidance issues who see the value in an occasional visit from a Sex Worker. ..It could well be most anyone, including hyper-busy, career focused women, widows, widowers, etc... Or even couples just wanting to give one another a new thrill and experience.

Just spitballing here, but consider what's happened w/ marijuana. 20 years ago, when offered a joint a squarish Republican suburban housewife might well have said, "no way! It's illegal and it's wrong to use drugs! And I don't want to be a part of THAT crowd that uses this stuff!" And you can imagine an even worse reaction to her husband who has given her a gift-certificate for an hour of sex with a celebrity look-alike.

But nowadays I barely know ANYONE who feels that way about marijuana. Virtually everyone I know uses some form of THC - liberal or conservative. They may not burn it like Snoop Dog, but they have no qualms eating a gummy laced w/ equally potent THC.

And maybe the same would become true if sex work became normalized. "Happy Birthday Day Sweetheart! Next week a Regé-Jean Page lookalike will be here to fuck your brains out!" I know my wife would jump into my arms over such a gift.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Well, that's true but perhaps only because that's the group least discouraged by the possibility of being stigmatized.

But if it were truly normalized - like massage therapy - it wouldn't be just guys with relationship avoidance issues who see the value in an occasional visit from a Sex Worker. ..It could well be most anyone, including hyper-busy, career focused women, widows, widowers, etc... Or even couples just wanting to give one another a new thrill and experience.

Just spitballing here, but consider what's happened w/ marijuana. 20 years ago, when offered a joint a squarish Republican suburban housewife might well have said, "no way! It's illegal and it's wrong to use drugs! And I don't want to be a part of THAT crowd that uses this stuff!" And you can imagine an even worse reaction to her husband who has given her a gift-certificate for an hour of sex with a celebrity look-alike.

But nowadays I barely know ANYONE who feels that way about marijuana. Virtually everyone I know uses some form of THC - liberal or conservative. They may not burn it like Snoop Dog, but they have no qualms eating a gummy laced w/ equally potent THC.

And maybe the same would become true if sex work became normalized. "Happy Mother's Day Sweetheart! Next week a Regé-Jean Page lookalike will be here to fuck your brains out!" I know my wife would jump into my arms over such a gift.

Kind of? The thing about massages is that they don’t seem to have the same addictive qualities as sex.

I want to agree with you, but I think I’ve seen a lot of futures get burned by addiction to video games, gambling, alcohol, and marijuana use. I see no reason why prostitutes wouldn’t further increase the number of people who fuck up their lives by being addicted to prostitution use.