Let me say this... Romance.net?
- Thread starter Liar
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Carl East
I finally found the ONE!
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Liar, let me tell you how it happened to me, you might understand better then just how it can occur.
The first contact with my sweetie came from a simple E-Mail. She sent me a well written and very flattering note of thanks for one of my stories, 'Hell's Gate,' to be precise.
It was such a sweet response to one of my stories that I decided to thank her straight away. She was surprised to recieve a response, and sent me another E-Mail telling so and thanking me again. So after several other E-Mails, we progressed to text messenging. At this point there was still nothing in it, except a possible friendship.
Although, I have to say, I was beginning to like this woman. I then informed her of the virtues of Yahoo and how one could talk free of charge if you had a headset. The next thing I know she's phoning me from America because she's curious about me. We talked for two hours that night, and when she left she was determined to get broadband and download Yahoo.
A week later and she did just that. The first two nights we talked for twelve hours straight, and one thing emerged from it all, we enjoyed one anothers company.
Three months later and talking almost every single night, she decides to come over and stay for two weeks. At Christmas I went over and stayed with her, and now we plan on getting married. Isn't love great.
The main thing with an internet romance though, is that you get to learn all the things you wouldn't have learned till later in a normal boy meets girl scenario. Mainly because you tend to tell one another all the things that are happening in your life, and learn all the things that are happening in theirs.
The truth is if someone had told me I would meet the love of my life through an E-Mail I wouldn't have believed them. lol
Carl
The first contact with my sweetie came from a simple E-Mail. She sent me a well written and very flattering note of thanks for one of my stories, 'Hell's Gate,' to be precise.
It was such a sweet response to one of my stories that I decided to thank her straight away. She was surprised to recieve a response, and sent me another E-Mail telling so and thanking me again. So after several other E-Mails, we progressed to text messenging. At this point there was still nothing in it, except a possible friendship.
Although, I have to say, I was beginning to like this woman. I then informed her of the virtues of Yahoo and how one could talk free of charge if you had a headset. The next thing I know she's phoning me from America because she's curious about me. We talked for two hours that night, and when she left she was determined to get broadband and download Yahoo.
A week later and she did just that. The first two nights we talked for twelve hours straight, and one thing emerged from it all, we enjoyed one anothers company.
Three months later and talking almost every single night, she decides to come over and stay for two weeks. At Christmas I went over and stayed with her, and now we plan on getting married. Isn't love great.
The main thing with an internet romance though, is that you get to learn all the things you wouldn't have learned till later in a normal boy meets girl scenario. Mainly because you tend to tell one another all the things that are happening in your life, and learn all the things that are happening in theirs.
The truth is if someone had told me I would meet the love of my life through an E-Mail I wouldn't have believed them. lol
Carl
Liar
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Interresting replies all around. Thanks.
However, let me clarify one thing. Most of the replies say something along the lines of "it's easy to hide who you really are on the net" and that "we all wear masks in social situations"... Not arguing there. It is. And we do.
But that's not what I was talking about.
This is a really dull medium to even pique an interrest imo. If a picture says more than a thousand words (sorry folks, I don't know the exact calibrated number
), then a face-to-face conversation says so much more than that too.
I couldn't give you an honest picture of me from just text, so even though I'm completely honest, and I try to share what I can, you don't know me. You know things about me, but you don't know me.
Meeting a bunch of AHers in May will therefore be a very interresting experience. I'll get to listen to you, read faces, eyes and postures. To me, that makes a hell of a difference.
#L, can't hardly wait
However, let me clarify one thing. Most of the replies say something along the lines of "it's easy to hide who you really are on the net" and that "we all wear masks in social situations"... Not arguing there. It is. And we do.
But that's not what I was talking about.
This is a really dull medium to even pique an interrest imo. If a picture says more than a thousand words (sorry folks, I don't know the exact calibrated number
), then a face-to-face conversation says so much more than that too.I couldn't give you an honest picture of me from just text, so even though I'm completely honest, and I try to share what I can, you don't know me. You know things about me, but you don't know me.
Meeting a bunch of AHers in May will therefore be a very interresting experience. I'll get to listen to you, read faces, eyes and postures. To me, that makes a hell of a difference.
#L, can't hardly wait
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Liar
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Damn you, Sher. I was going to, but after your post all the fun of it was spoiled.shereads said:Uh-oh.
Speaking of those subtleties of meaning that get lost in the ether...Who else thinks this will be read as a challenge to play Testicular Show and Tell?
English Lady
Erotic English Rose
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Ok let me tell you a tale
A friend of mine form college gave me the address of a chatsite that he used. Whilst at uni I had internet access and looked up that site. From day one I was hoooked.
I met someone within a few days of hitting the online world. This person lived in australia. He told me he was a liverpool fan and we got chatting about football anyhow, it went to flirting and we exchanged real life addresses...it got to a point where he was my online boyfriend.
Ok this is where it gets confusing. Another person on the site started to insist He was in fact a she, and was this womans young teen sister, the long and the short of it is that he refused to ever ring me but the relationship went on until several people told me they knew my "boyfriend" was a girl from chatting to he/she/it/whatever before.
Then I get an excuse about him and his ex using the same handle for a laff *ha ha ha -convinient eh?* and i accepted that (yes I was naive then*L*) until I got the very scooby doo esque email from this girlfriend saying I'd never have this guy, this was her way of getting him back with her and how she'd been chatting to me etc,etc,etc....
Well I never found outone way or the other what was going on...although i got a letter and a phone call a couple of years later that added to the confusion *L* But basically, whatever he/she/it was, I was lied too and that hurt.
Right, now same chatsite at the time all this hoo-hah is happening a whisper about this guy Mitnik" being back started. Mitnik was a big name at this chatsite and it was causing quite a stir. One day I end up in a room with him and watch the girlies go wild trying to flirt with him *L* I basically ignore him and talk with my bunch of mates. Just as I'm leaving though I type upmy goodbyes and this Mitnik typed "pinches EL's bottom as she walks past" and I blushed all the way home.
I don't know why, no idea why but those few words really effected me.
The next day we actually chatted properly and found out we had lots in common, a few days later I gave him my phone number and he rang me. Even his acquired Brum accent didn't put me of!From then on we spoke daily on the phone and sent letters by mail too as well as chatting online most days too.
He moved form birmingham back home to his folks in Liverpool (he later admitted to doing it mostly to be closer to me)
and a few months after meeting online we met for the first time IRL.
It was love. It was scary meeting someone and already feeling so deeply for him. There was such chemistry between us that I was totally overwhelmed by it. I ended up dumping him for a while, but we still stayed friends and well, we still fucked *L*
we very soon got back together though, moved in together and got engaged. Now 7 years later we're still together, we've been married for 5 years and have a beautiful 3 year old daughter.
We are very much still in love and we were in love from the moment we met online. Don't ask me how it worked, I dunno but I know that I have loved Mitnik since he pinched my bum *chuckles*
So yes, it happened to me. Thank God! But it's not all harts and roses, you have to be careful and use your instincts and common sense when chatting to someone online.
A friend of mine form college gave me the address of a chatsite that he used. Whilst at uni I had internet access and looked up that site. From day one I was hoooked.
I met someone within a few days of hitting the online world. This person lived in australia. He told me he was a liverpool fan and we got chatting about football anyhow, it went to flirting and we exchanged real life addresses...it got to a point where he was my online boyfriend.
Ok this is where it gets confusing. Another person on the site started to insist He was in fact a she, and was this womans young teen sister, the long and the short of it is that he refused to ever ring me but the relationship went on until several people told me they knew my "boyfriend" was a girl from chatting to he/she/it/whatever before.
Then I get an excuse about him and his ex using the same handle for a laff *ha ha ha -convinient eh?* and i accepted that (yes I was naive then*L*) until I got the very scooby doo esque email from this girlfriend saying I'd never have this guy, this was her way of getting him back with her and how she'd been chatting to me etc,etc,etc....
Well I never found outone way or the other what was going on...although i got a letter and a phone call a couple of years later that added to the confusion *L* But basically, whatever he/she/it was, I was lied too and that hurt.
Right, now same chatsite at the time all this hoo-hah is happening a whisper about this guy Mitnik" being back started. Mitnik was a big name at this chatsite and it was causing quite a stir. One day I end up in a room with him and watch the girlies go wild trying to flirt with him *L* I basically ignore him and talk with my bunch of mates. Just as I'm leaving though I type upmy goodbyes and this Mitnik typed "pinches EL's bottom as she walks past" and I blushed all the way home.
I don't know why, no idea why but those few words really effected me.
The next day we actually chatted properly and found out we had lots in common, a few days later I gave him my phone number and he rang me. Even his acquired Brum accent didn't put me of!From then on we spoke daily on the phone and sent letters by mail too as well as chatting online most days too.
He moved form birmingham back home to his folks in Liverpool (he later admitted to doing it mostly to be closer to me)
and a few months after meeting online we met for the first time IRL.
It was love. It was scary meeting someone and already feeling so deeply for him. There was such chemistry between us that I was totally overwhelmed by it. I ended up dumping him for a while, but we still stayed friends and well, we still fucked *L*
we very soon got back together though, moved in together and got engaged. Now 7 years later we're still together, we've been married for 5 years and have a beautiful 3 year old daughter.
We are very much still in love and we were in love from the moment we met online. Don't ask me how it worked, I dunno but I know that I have loved Mitnik since he pinched my bum *chuckles*
So yes, it happened to me. Thank God! But it's not all harts and roses, you have to be careful and use your instincts and common sense when chatting to someone online.
G
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wasnt ganna post in here seeing as most people said things i had thought or knew.
I only want to interject one thought (might turn into several, bear with me).
chatting online forces you to ... chat. to have a conversation, you must type. in face to face conversations you can speak without speaking, using body language. not so online (unless you have a cam)
what im saying is that, if i had met lucky in person, would we have had the opportunity to talk? i dont know. here, if you find someone's persona attractive, the opportunity to talk/type is tantamount. for me, its far easier to get to know someone after talking online. it is easier for me to express my feelings through type. i dont know why, dont question it, it just is.
not saying its the best way, just the best way for me. i never would have had the guts to speak to most of you in a face to face conversation...but here, i am free to be myself.
get to the point, you say. im trying says me.
it has been expressed here that it takes energy to lie. yes, i concur. it has also been expressed that there are many who just use parts of their persona here. true enough. if you take the time and truly look into the person you are involved with online, you might just see the real person. it takes time. but i know it can be done as i have done it.
yes, ive been lied to and when i first started chatting online...erm..way back in the days of prodigy and charge by the moment online services, i did some fancy fibbing myself. it ALWAYS caught up to me. i suck at lying. so, from me you know you will always get the truth. the other hurts too damn much.
in short (too late) it is what YOU chose to make it.
I only want to interject one thought (might turn into several, bear with me).
chatting online forces you to ... chat. to have a conversation, you must type. in face to face conversations you can speak without speaking, using body language. not so online (unless you have a cam)
what im saying is that, if i had met lucky in person, would we have had the opportunity to talk? i dont know. here, if you find someone's persona attractive, the opportunity to talk/type is tantamount. for me, its far easier to get to know someone after talking online. it is easier for me to express my feelings through type. i dont know why, dont question it, it just is.
not saying its the best way, just the best way for me. i never would have had the guts to speak to most of you in a face to face conversation...but here, i am free to be myself.
get to the point, you say. im trying says me.
it has been expressed here that it takes energy to lie. yes, i concur. it has also been expressed that there are many who just use parts of their persona here. true enough. if you take the time and truly look into the person you are involved with online, you might just see the real person. it takes time. but i know it can be done as i have done it.
yes, ive been lied to and when i first started chatting online...erm..way back in the days of prodigy and charge by the moment online services, i did some fancy fibbing myself. it ALWAYS caught up to me. i suck at lying. so, from me you know you will always get the truth. the other hurts too damn much.
in short (too late) it is what YOU chose to make it.
English Lady
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vella makes a good point
Chatting online is that..it's chatting. you get to know the person for their words and personality first. You don't have to worry about how you look or what your body language is saying,you just get to know the personality. If you're not very self confident (I so totally wasn't when I met my hubby) then chatting online is a God send as youcan let your personality shine throughyour shyness
Chatting online is that..it's chatting. you get to know the person for their words and personality first. You don't have to worry about how you look or what your body language is saying,you just get to know the personality. If you're not very self confident (I so totally wasn't when I met my hubby) then chatting online is a God send as youcan let your personality shine throughyour shyness
tolyk
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Carl East said:
Yeah, I agree with that statement. The internet makes relationships backwards. Normally a relationship starts off through physical attraction, progresses to interest and then into intimacy. Online, you start with the intimacy, unless of cours you are just infatuated with someone's pictures, in which case it proceeds exactly like real life.
shereads
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English Lady said:vella makes a good point
Chatting online is that..it's chatting. you get to know the person for their words and personality first. You don't have to worry about how you look or what your body language is saying,you just get to know the personality. If you're not very self confident (I so totally wasn't when I met my hubby) then chatting online is a God send as youcan let your personality shine throughyour shyness
There's another advantage to conversations in PM, aside from being able to think through what we want to say and how to say it. People listen to a PM. In a live chat, as in real-time, it's hard not to be thinking ahead - or wanting to reword something you said earlier. In PM, a kind thought or small flattery from someone you're attracted to is appreciated, studied for hidden meanings, admired like a little gift presented in a box with a bow on top. The same words from someone sitting across the table at dinner aren't likely to seem as precious, even if they're just as appreciated. Imagine what letters used to mean to people when the mail took weeks to arrive. People kept them tucked away someplace to be read and re-read. When you communicate that way, you know you have his complete attention. When else does that happen, except during sex.
G
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Obviously, you've never had sex with me while "Everyone Loves Raymond" is on.shereads said:
Honey123
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I am me. I have never lied about who I am, what I am or look like. I have developed crushes with people that I chat with, but I think that that is normal. I think we do that in our RL as well. The difference is the fact that you can be lied to and never know. I think that I am too truthful and get hurt easily. I tend to be the kind of person who believes that what someone is "saying" is truthful. Which sets me up for bigs falls...and not the good kinds.
But, all in all, I have made some wonderful friendships, some that have faded and often leave me with questions as to what I did or said, but, I also realize that everyone has agendas and, well, I am not a part of a persons every day life..
Have I "fallen in love" via the internet? No. But, I have found that the friendships (and crushes) I have made, I cherish.
I have spoken with a few of you on the phone ~ which was really great. If I could meet any of you, I would try my hardest to be there because seeing an on-line friend for the first time face to face is probably the most exciting, scary and impulsive thing I could ever do.
But, all in all, I have made some wonderful friendships, some that have faded and often leave me with questions as to what I did or said, but, I also realize that everyone has agendas and, well, I am not a part of a persons every day life..
Have I "fallen in love" via the internet? No. But, I have found that the friendships (and crushes) I have made, I cherish.
I have spoken with a few of you on the phone ~ which was really great. If I could meet any of you, I would try my hardest to be there because seeing an on-line friend for the first time face to face is probably the most exciting, scary and impulsive thing I could ever do.
G
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Oops, wrong thread. 
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Carl East
I finally found the ONE!
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Vella made a good point, but isn't it strange how if one of us were to meet (such as vella and I) we'd probably be very open with one another. Because we know things about each other that wouldn't have been known without the net. In fact I bet we'd talk endlessly about the threads we've created and participated in, and we'd know some pretty intimate stuff about one another.
Which all goes to demonstrate just how much we'd know about the people we converse with.
Carl
Which all goes to demonstrate just how much we'd know about the people we converse with.
Carl
Liar
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Just butting in to throw a screwball at this thread. You unknowingly put your finger on the key issue I've been trying to say here.Carl East said:
We know stuff about the persons here. But do we know the persons? I think there's a distinction. And that the first one is made easy with the net as a meeting place while the second takes much more time and effort this way than in RL.
I read people I meet all the time, and I'm seldom wrong. Nuances in voice and expressions says much more than actual words spoken. it gives them a context that I miss here. I can't read you folks. And it's driving me nuts.
Carry on.
#L
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shereads
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Ted-E-Bare said:Obviously, you've never had sex with me while "Everyone Loves Raymond" is on.
Almost. I was once asked to stop fondling and nibbling my future ex-husband, in an attempt to make him notice my new teddie, because he was watching a game show where someone was throwing fruit and someone else was trying to catch them with a spoon.
"Don't you want to see if this guy catches the grape?"
Um...no. But you do, and that's what matters.
When the honeymoon is that over, it should never have happened at all. Bon voyage, toots. Wherever life takes you, may there always be something good on TV.
Lovepotion69
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I agree with everyone else about the differenct social masks we wear. Depending on who I'm with, the situation and my mood I will show various sides of me. I'm pretty easy to read in real life, but there are, of course, things that people read wrong or never see.
My friends during Uni years saw many different sides of me compared to the friends I grew up with. My parents know lots of my sides, but there are also those they've never seen.
I don't feel like I know someone just because I can make a list of their likes' and hates'. I don't expect people to know me very fast. In fact, I don't believe anyone will truly know another person as we all change and develop over the years. There are sides of me that I don't even know yet.
Still, the internet and chatting makes you get interesting glimpses into the other person's mind. You won't get a full picture of the person, but neither will you in real life. You'll probably get a broader picture of someone face to face, but I do believe that if the person is honest online, then you'll get a decent sense of some of their sides. If you chat privately a lot you can find out much more. It may take longer time than face to face, or it can go much faster. Depends on the connection between the two of you. Similar in real life.
Have I fallen in love online? Nope. Never, but heck, it takes me ages to fall in love in real life, so who am I to judge if I'd be able to online or not?
I did meet one of my best friends online though. He sent me a sweet email, I felt compelled to reply and before we knew it we were emailing every day. It was very intense and the emails were serious and very sincere. We just hit it off. Were on the same wavelenght. Within four days we met IRL, then went on a few dates and have been close friends ever since.
/LP
My friends during Uni years saw many different sides of me compared to the friends I grew up with. My parents know lots of my sides, but there are also those they've never seen.
I don't feel like I know someone just because I can make a list of their likes' and hates'. I don't expect people to know me very fast. In fact, I don't believe anyone will truly know another person as we all change and develop over the years. There are sides of me that I don't even know yet.
Still, the internet and chatting makes you get interesting glimpses into the other person's mind. You won't get a full picture of the person, but neither will you in real life. You'll probably get a broader picture of someone face to face, but I do believe that if the person is honest online, then you'll get a decent sense of some of their sides. If you chat privately a lot you can find out much more. It may take longer time than face to face, or it can go much faster. Depends on the connection between the two of you. Similar in real life.
Have I fallen in love online? Nope. Never, but heck, it takes me ages to fall in love in real life, so who am I to judge if I'd be able to online or not?
I did meet one of my best friends online though. He sent me a sweet email, I felt compelled to reply and before we knew it we were emailing every day. It was very intense and the emails were serious and very sincere. We just hit it off. Were on the same wavelenght. Within four days we met IRL, then went on a few dates and have been close friends ever since.
/LP
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