Might get banned for this....

[Lolita30]

Look, there's one person in here who said, when an automated system detected that their work might be AI-generated: A) drama posted "well, I guess I'll just delete all my work that I've ever written!" B) started another thread titled "Might get banned for this" C) changed their sig to "If you're looking for a fight, here I am!" and D) lashed out at literally everyone who even slightly criticized her, and it ain't me.

I'd post the "if you run into assholes all day" quote, but someone beat me to it.

"AI talk" is not unwelcome. There are probably 25-30 threads just on AH about AI. But the rules of Literotica are clear and explicit: AI assisted writing is banned. That is not necessarily the rule on other platforms.

When you advocate for or admit to AI use, that's going to be a problem. Not to say there aren't a few AI-written stories here, because no detection system is perfect and we know there have been false positives, so we should logically assume there are false negatives as well. But any AI use -- even so much as letting Grammarly make changes for you -- is not acceptable here at Lit.

Kindly point out where I said that I admit to using AI. And if there are about 30 or so threads about AI, it’s not my problem that the moderators didn’t control it. And I’ve been writing way before AI came along.

 

[SkyBubble]

i did that on the 11th its pending still.

So the resubmission is now pending for two days? Give it a little more time.

 

[Lolita30]

Look, there's one person in here who said, when an automated system detected that their work might be AI-generated: A) drama posted "well, I guess I'll just delete all my work that I've ever written!" B) started another thread titled "Might get banned for this" C) changed their sig to "If you're looking for a fight, here I am!" and D) lashed out at literally everyone who even slightly criticized her, and it ain't me.

I'd post the "if you run into assholes all day" quote, but someone beat me to it.

Be blessed!

 

[NoTalentHack]

Be blessed!

Ah, going with passive aggressive now. How delightfully tedious.

 

[lovecraft68]

There are some toxic people here. Most people are nice and trying to be helpful. Some don't like each other. There are posters here whom I know don't like me. I'm OK with that. Most people are friendly and helpful, even when they strongly disagree.

There are various forms of toxic and one form of that which is on full display in this forum is the toxic behavior of passive aggressively instigating and for lack of a better term 'begging for it' then when someone decides they've had enough and give the misbehaving child what they're asking for, then that's what's called toxic by them and whoever their clique is.

Its that old thing about some kid hits you in school. you hit them back, and you're the one the teacher sees so...

I grew up with-and still adhere to-the manta that if you're going to muck up shit I'm going to throw it back in your face and no one has to like it. Granted, that may not be the best method of dealing with things, but its an honest approach as opposed to the disingenuous poor me victimhood that some make a living off of here.

 

[IsenRae]

So the resubmission is now pending for two days? Give it a little more time.

okay! will do

 

[SmilingLez]

i did that on the 11th its pending still.

Perhaps your next step would be to PM @Laurel

It seems like the pending purgatory issue has decreased while the AI rejection issue has increased significantly.

 

[SkyBubble]

Perhaps your next step would be to PM @Laurel

It seems like the pending purgatory issue has decreased while the AI rejection issue has increased significantly.

I'd agree with that, but wait a few days. it hasn't even been the requisite 72 hours yet. Today's the 13th. It was resubmitted on the 11th. I'd contact Laurel over the weekend, certainly by Monday, if it hasn't moved. But give it at least 72 hours.

 

[lovecraft68]

Perhaps your next step would be to PM @Laurel

It seems like the pending purgatory issue has decreased while the AI rejection issue has increased significantly.

The glitches are like infinity stones and once all are gathered half of all those who gripe will be eliminated.

The other half will still deal with the glitches.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I'd agree with that, but wait a few days. it hasn't even been the requisite 72 hours yet. Today's the 13th. It was resubmitted on the 11th. I'd contact Laurel over the weekend, certainly by Monday, if it hasn't moved. But give it at least 72 hours.

I would give it the 15 days minimum that Laurel states in her thread on the subject. Read her recommendations more carefully. Then if you don't see movement, politely DM her.

Impatience does not a priority make.

 

[Lolita30]

Ah, going with passive aggressive now. How delightfully tedious.

Hey, what you give is what you get back!

 

[SmilingLez]

Ah, going with passive aggressive now. How delightfully tedious.

Hey, what you give is what you get back!

Bullying has no place in the forum nor does passive aggressive behavior. Attacking someone's character is not debating the issue (which in this case is AI technology). Perhaps the two of you need a time out

 

[Comshaw]

This is flippin' hilarious. We have one who comes storming in, pointing fingers, screaming to high heaven about "toxicity" in the forum while yelling about taking their ball and going home because it doesn't go their way. We have a couple of others agreeing it is a toxic soup of negativity, dissension, and downright nastiness because "everyone" is mean to them. Yep, my heehaw for the day.

I worked for 30 years side by side with several other guys. When we were at work there was no way to avoid each other. We couldn't throw a fit and disappear to another place to do our job. We had to tolerate each other and learn to get over any insult, butthurt or perceived slight. I've been married to the same woman for 52 years. I love her no end, but there were times that I (figuratively) wanted to strangle her when we differed on something.

From those experiences, I learned some basic truths. Sometimes people, even those close whom you love, will say things that hurt. The best response was for me to put on my big boy pants and let it ride. Eventually, they will apologize, or not. If they do cool. If they don't, that's cool too because the event will soon disappear into the past. Some will hold a grudge indefinitely because of such things. Others will shrug and let it pass. I try (and admittedly sometimes fail) to take the second option. A lot less heartburn and mental anguish and a lot more fun (and healthy) to point and laugh.

Sometimes people are going to disagree with you and will do so adamantly because they believe in their opinion. It happens. Understand it will and get over it. Opinions aren't factual. They are a belief constructed by the holder. As such, they have every right to hold whatever opinion they want. The rub comes in when the mobile object of one person's opinion meets the stationary object of another person's opinion. In that instance, they can either decide to agree to disagree or engage in a debate. The problem with the latter option is at times there will be one side or other that gets butthurt and starts throwing anger-laden insults. That's when things go shithouse.

With all that said, what was my point?
1) When you step into a group or forum like this one, don't expect everyone to agree with you or be nice to you. There are too many disparate personalities here for that.

2) Differentiate between those who are actually being mean to you and those who just disagree with what you said. The former and the latter are not the same.

3) If you find the bile rising and the insults starting to gather on your fingertips ready to be dashed out on your keyboard to take down your perceived opponent, stop, calm down, read them three times and decide: will it do what I want it to do? If your aim is to skewer the person on the other end of that post AND you're sure that is the course you wish to take, hit that enter key. If not rewriting that post is the next option. Sometimes I find myself rewriting a post several times before I send it. And sometimes it never gets sent because I discover it's not what I was trying to say in the first place.

4)Don't rely on others to make space for you, carve out your own. You have a distinct style and personality. Let it shine through.

Okay I think I've blathered on enough. Time to take care of some home chores. Even old retired farts have cohres ot od.

Comshaw

 

[SimonDoom]

This is flippin' hilarious. We have one who comes storming in, pointing fingers, screaming to high heaven about "toxicity" in the forum while yelling about taking their ball and going home because it doesn't go their way. We have a couple of others agreeing it is a toxic soup of negativity, dissension, and downright nastiness because "everyone" is mean to them. Yep, my heehaw for the day.

I worked for 30 years side by side with several other guys. When we were at work there was no way to avoid each other. We couldn't throw a fit and disappear to another place to do our job. We had to tolerate each other and learn to get over any insult, butthurt or perceived slight. I've been married to the same woman for 52 years. I love her no end, but there were times that I (figuratively) wanted to strangle her when we differed on something.

From those experiences, I learned some basic truths. Sometimes people, even those close whom you love, will say things that hurt. The best response was for me to put on my big boy pants and let it ride. Eventually, they will apologize, or not. If they do cool. If they don't, that's cool too because the event will soon disappear into the past. Some will hold a grudge indefinitely because of such things. Others will shrug and let it pass. I try (and admittedly sometimes fail) to take the second option. A lot less heartburn and mental anguish and a lot more fun (and healthy) to point and laugh.

Sometimes people are going to disagree with you and will do so adamantly because they believe in their opinion. It happens. Understand it will and get over it. Opinions aren't factual. They are a belief constructed by the holder. As such, they have every right to hold whatever opinion they want. The rub comes in when the mobile object of one person's opinion meets the stationary object of another person's opinion. In that instance, they can either decide to agree to disagree or engage in a debate. The problem with the latter option is at times there will be one side or other that gets butthurt and starts throwing anger-laden insults. That's when things go shithouse.

With all that said, what was my point?
1) When you step into a group or forum like this one, don't expect everyone to agree with you or be nice to you. There are too many disparate personalities here for that.

2) Differentiate between those who are actually being mean to you and those who just disagree with what you said. The former and the latter are not the same.

3) If you find the bile rising and the insults starting to gather on your fingertips ready to be dashed out on your keyboard to take down your perceived opponent, stop, calm down, read them three times and decide: will it do what I want it to do? If your aim is to skewer the person on the other end of that post AND you're sure that is the course you wish to take, hit that enter key. If not rewriting that post is the next option. Sometimes I find myself rewriting a post several times before I send it. And sometimes it never gets sent because I discover it's not what I was trying to say in the first place.

4)Don't rely on others to make space for you, carve out your own. You have a distinct style and personality. Let it shine through.

Okay I think I've blathered on enough. Time to take care of some home chores. Even old retired farts have cohres ot od.

Comshaw

Good thoughts and advice. THIS is why accusations about the toxicity of this place mostly ring hollow. Most of the time, it's as toxic as you make it. This thread is proof of that.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Even old retired farts have cohres ot od.

Comshaw

And he rushed away to do them with glee.

 

[lovecraft68]

This is flippin' hilarious. We have one who comes storming in, pointing fingers, screaming to high heaven about "toxicity" in the forum while yelling about taking their ball and going home because it doesn't go their way. We have a couple of others agreeing it is a toxic soup of negativity, dissension, and downright nastiness because "everyone" is mean to them. Yep, my heehaw for the day.

I worked for 30 years side by side with several other guys. When we were at work there was no way to avoid each other. We couldn't throw a fit and disappear to another place to do our job. We had to tolerate each other and learn to get over any insult, butthurt or perceived slight. I've been married to the same woman for 52 years. I love her no end, but there were times that I (figuratively) wanted to strangle her when we differed on something.

From those experiences, I learned some basic truths. Sometimes people, even those close whom you love, will say things that hurt. The best response was for me to put on my big boy pants and let it ride. Eventually, they will apologize, or not. If they do cool. If they don't, that's cool too because the event will soon disappear into the past. Some will hold a grudge indefinitely because of such things. Others will shrug and let it pass. I try (and admittedly sometimes fail) to take the second option. A lot less heartburn and mental anguish and a lot more fun (and healthy) to point and laugh.

Sometimes people are going to disagree with you and will do so adamantly because they believe in their opinion. It happens. Understand it will and get over it. Opinions aren't factual. They are a belief constructed by the holder. As such, they have every right to hold whatever opinion they want. The rub comes in when the mobile object of one person's opinion meets the stationary object of another person's opinion. In that instance, they can either decide to agree to disagree or engage in a debate. The problem with the latter option is at times there will be one side or other that gets butthurt and starts throwing anger-laden insults. That's when things go shithouse.

With all that said, what was my point?
1) When you step into a group or forum like this one, don't expect everyone to agree with you or be nice to you. There are too many disparate personalities here for that.

2) Differentiate between those who are actually being mean to you and those who just disagree with what you said. The former and the latter are not the same.

3) If you find the bile rising and the insults starting to gather on your fingertips ready to be dashed out on your keyboard to take down your perceived opponent, stop, calm down, read them three times and decide: will it do what I want it to do? If your aim is to skewer the person on the other end of that post AND you're sure that is the course you wish to take, hit that enter key. If not rewriting that post is the next option. Sometimes I find myself rewriting a post several times before I send it. And sometimes it never gets sent because I discover it's not what I was trying to say in the first place.

4)Don't rely on others to make space for you, carve out your own. You have a distinct style and personality. Let it shine through.

Okay I think I've blathered on enough. Time to take care of some home chores. Even old retired farts have cohres ot od.

Comshaw

The biggest hee haw is the one charging into someone else's thread about people being mean to make sure everyone knows no one gets more mean treatment than they do!

I'll add my bit of generational grumpy old man. If people think what goes on here passes as people being mean to them, then they've obviously never had someone be genuinely mean to them in real life and should be grateful for it.

When referencing butthurt on the interwebz my sister always says, "Can you imagine sticking these people in 1985?"

 

[anthrodisiac]

'll add my bit of generational grumpy old man. If people think what goes on here passes as people being mean to them, then they've obviously never had someone be genuinely mean to them in real life and should be grateful for it.

Not a grumpy old man, but definitely agree with this. What I wouldn't give to think that someone being snarky with me on the internet constitutes genuinely cruelty, instead of an entire childhood/teenagedom of constantly being bullied and occasionally assaulted.

Something I like to do is assign a scalar (adjust the level of me caring about what they say) to things people say to me, especially negative ones. It's not an exact formula, but it takes into account:

• How well do I know this person?
• How well does this person know me?
• How valid is what they're saying?
• How important is their opinion? (Aka How much do I actually care about what they think?)
• Are they saying this from a place of hot-headed anger or calm sincerity?
• Are they being serious, or am I misinterpreting what they're saying?
• How useful is what they're saying?
• Are they worth being annoyed?
• Are they worth my time and effort?

But I also have the benefit of being slightly cold and detached, and it took a while for me to get here. I think they're useful questions when evaluating what someone is saying to you, especially online, when you have the benefit of not having to answer right away because it's asynchronous communication.

 

[Voboy]

Look, there's one person in here who said, when an automated system detected that their work might be AI-generated: A) drama posted "well, I guess I'll just delete all my work that I've ever written!"

Ahhhhhh.

I remember who this is now.

I'd post the "if you run into assholes all day" quote, but someone beat me to it.

I don't think you're too far off, based on what I've read in this thread alone. It's a shame.

OP, contrary to what you seem to think, almost everyone here wishes each other well. Some have an odd way of showing it, but most are FAR from hateful. There are quite a few here who are addicted to drama, however, and it looks like we might have one more. Sometimes, that can come off sounding a lot like hatefulness.

Good luck here!

 

[SimonDoom]

Not a grumpy old man, but definitely agree with this. What I wouldn't give to think that someone being snarky with me on the internet constitutes genuinely cruelty, instead of an entire childhood/teenagedom of constantly being bullied and occasionally assaulted.

Something I like to do is assign a scalar (adjust the level of me caring about what they say) to things people say to me, especially negative ones. It's not an exact formula, but it takes into account:

• How well do I know this person?
• How well does this person know me?
• How valid is what they're saying?
• How important is their opinion? (Aka How much do I actually care about what they think?)
• Are they saying this from a place of hot-headed anger or calm sincerity?
• Are they being serious, or am I misinterpreting what they're saying?
• How useful is what they're saying?
• Are they worth being annoyed?
• Are they worth my time and effort?

But I also have the benefit of being slightly cold and detached, and it took a while for me to get here. I think they're useful questions when evaluating what someone is saying to you, especially online, when you have the benefit of not having to answer right away because it's asynchronous communication.

I think this is a useful formula. I would add to it this: The MERIT of what someone says to me has little to do with any of these things. We can evaluate the merit of what someone says without delving deeply into what motivates them to say it. For purposes of getting along with people, it's useful to cut them slack and take these personal questions into account in trying to understand where they are coming from. But if they can explain and justify their point of view without reference to these personal questions, that's fine with me. And I think in a forum like this one, that's the right attitude to take, because we know WHAT someone is saying, but we're only guessing when we try to figure out why.

Like you, by dint of innate personal qualities, age, and professional and personal experiences I'm able to look at things in a detached way that might seem cold to some. Some people seem to have a much more difficult time engaging in conversation without getting personal.

 

[SimonDoom]

Good luck here!

Ditto.

 

[SkyBubble]

Sometimes people are going to disagree with you and will do so adamantly because they believe in their opinion.

And sometimes they're going to make statements of fact about other people that are false, then when the statements are proven false, double down on them and claim the people who are correcting them are lying. We have a few of those over on the Politics board.

 

[SimonDoom]

And sometimes they're going to make statements of fact about other people that are false, then when the statements are proven false, double down on them and claim the people who are correcting them are lying. We have a few of those over on the Politics board.

A "few"? I think you are being generous.

The Politics Board, IMO, is just an extended version of the old SNL Point/Counterpoint skit where everyone is saying "Jane, you ignorant slut" to everyone else.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I think this is a useful formula. I would add to it this: The MERIT of what someone says to me has little to do with any of these things. We can evaluate the merit of what someone says without delving deeply into what motivates them to say it. For purposes of getting along with people, it's useful to cut them slack and take these personal questions into account in trying to understand where they are coming from. But if they can explain and justify their point of view without reference to these personal questions, that's fine with me. And I think in a forum like this one, that's the right attitude to take, because we know WHAT someone is saying, but we're only guessing when we try to figure out why.

Like you, by dint of innate personal qualities, age, and professional and personal experiences I'm able to look at things in a detached way that might seem cold to some. Some people seem to have a much more difficult time engaging in conversation without getting personal.

I implied merit in valid and useful, but I probably should've stated it more explicitly. To me, the merit of what they say outweighs a lot of other considerations, but that requires being honest with myself and evaluating what they're saying purely on that basis, and it's difficult for a lot of people to do that becasue of the packaging that information was wrapped in.

It's a difficult thing to get past for a lot of psychological reasons, many of them evolutionary. Being able to brush off rude, angry, trolling, or hurtful comments is a valuable skill that I think everyone should learn and strive for. Sure, you could get angry and pissed off and hurt and fight fire with fire, but then you spend hours a day fruitlessly arguing with randos online, where neither side budges and the only thing that's changed is everyone's blood pressure. So what's the point?

I'll tell you: the point is validation. You want to get people on your side, or push away everyone who tries to agree with you so you have: A) The moral high ground, alone at the peak, B) The ability to claim the whole world is against you, you're the victim, C) By being alone, you're unique and singular, D) All eyes are on you. It's usually a mix of one or more of those. I'd like to be clear that it's not always a conscious thing — not everyone engaging in this behavior is doing it wilfully or maliciously. Humans are great at creating the conditions required to suit their needs and beliefs and can do it without every meaning to. It's why it's important to show grace to each other, and not always assume the worst from jump.*

*Which isn't to say we have to always be kind, nice, and accommodating, just that the default assumption shouldn't be that the person is acting in bad faith.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'll tell you: the point is validation. You want to get people on your side, or push away everyone who tries to agree with you so you have: A) The moral high ground, alone at the peak, B) The ability to claim the whole world is against you, you're the victim, C) By being alone, you're unique and singular, D) All eyes are on you. It's usually a mix of one or more of those. I'd like to be clear that it's not always a conscious thing — not everyone engaging in this behavior is doing it wilfully or maliciously. Humans are great at creating the conditions required to suit their needs and beliefs and can do it without every meaning to. It's why it's important to show grace to each other, and not always assume the worst from jump.*

*Which isn't to say we have to always be kind, nice, and accommodating, just that the default assumption shouldn't be that the person is acting in bad faith.

All true. From experience, I know the best way to maintain civility in a disagreement is, first, to acknowledge something valid about the other person's perspective, establish at least some level of commonality, and then to explain why you disagree. But many of us, myself included, don't do this all the time. We just state our opinion. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it can be misinterpreted, and interpreted by some as antagonism, even if it isn't meant to be.

 

[crookedletter]

You just never know where these measured, thoughtful discussions will crop up.