Let's Talk About... Outing The Players

[PrettyLilPussy]

It does.
Look at my profile pic.

Well... there it is. Problem solved!

 

[OldUncleJack]

It's a shame that this thread has gone on so much longer than another of the OP's threads...

 

[Dionysian Beast]

I've been on Lit long enough to have seen this situation happen more than I can count on one hand. There always exists a group of men on here who engage in this kind of behaviour.

My only advice to the ladies is to be very skeptical and cautious when someone expresses extraordinary feelings towards them. It's not impossible for that sort of thing to happen, but it seems to be more of a rarity. It's easy to hide behind a name, say all the right things, make up a flawless story-line and have people completely buy into it.
There was a guy who played the role of a female for 6-7 years or longer on the GB before he was eventually discovered to be a completely different character.

I don't know what kind of reputation I have, but I always make sure there's no confusion about my intentions. And faking emotions and playing with others' feelings is more of a drain and waste of time and energy to me.

 

[ydahecnot]

It does.
Look at my profile pic.

Fuhhgrrr

 

[SoulAssasin247]

Just for the record. I don't talk to the other girls. And while they are well within their rights to talk, not all women are doing so. I've been mostly warned by other men. I also find the men here to be the most gossipy. Let's talk about people as individuals instead of genders in this instance. It will prevent a LOT of misunderstanding.

I can say I have warned you about a Lister trying to look out. I told you I don't know it true, but people say he follows, stalks and harasses women and to be Careful. Telling someone you find cool and that happens to be a newcomer to be careful, is different than, being in a big pm or out of LIT chat comparing notes and private experiences amongst that group. I never said you, but yes the groups are groups of women. If you're not involved in it, it's either because you choose not to or they haven't included in that level of banter. I personally think you choose not to and would hope you wouldn't join in on the bs.

 

[SoulAssasin247]

I make no further comment...

You called it lmao

 

[OldUncleJack]

You called it lmao

just sayin'

 

[Farawyn]

I can say I have warned you about a Lister trying to look out. I told you I don't know it true, but people say he follows, stalks and harasses women and to be Careful. Telling someone you find cool and that happens to be a newcomer to be careful, is different than, being in a big pm or out of LIT chat comparing notes and private experiences amongst that group. I never said you, but yes the groups are groups of women. If you're not involved in it, it's either because you choose not to or they haven't included in that level of banter. I personally think you choose not to and would hope you wouldn't join in on the bs.

So, you warning PLP as a newbie is okay, yet, a woman talking to another woman -who is her friend- is not?
(Or a man. One of my best male friends was deeply hurt by a woman here. I saw HB’s little “not all men”comment. I have no time for that beta male crap.)
You know all this because someone in a group told you. You weren’t there, and don’t know what was said, or how, and by whom.

Folks will do Lit how they see fit. There are no witch hunts, but if a spade is a spade, then let the chips fall.

Lotta metaphors. Sorry.

 

[PrettyLilPussy]

I can say I have warned you about a Lister trying to look out. I told you I don't know it true, but people say he follows, stalks and harasses women and to be Careful. Telling someone you find cool and that happens to be a newcomer to be careful, is different than, being in a big pm or out of LIT chat comparing notes and private experiences amongst that group. I never said you, but yes the groups are groups of women. If you're not involved in it, it's either because you choose not to or they haven't included in that level of banter. I personally think you choose not to and would hope you wouldn't join in on the bs.

Lol, I generally avoid B.S. or try to but I also think that while girls do talk, they talk amongst the girls they trust.
I'm not a gossip but I'm too nosey and curious for this thread.

I always appreciate a warning and taken it with a grain of salt. I've received warnings about 3 men and 2 of them were completely decent and wonderful guys who had hard breakups. That's different than a serial asshole or true stalker. The other, well, yeah... he's psycho and everyone knows.

 

[Farawyn]

Lol, I generally avoid B.S. or try to but I also think that while girls do talk, they talk amongst the girls they trust.
I'm not a gossip but I'm too nosey and curious for this thread.

I always appreciate a warning and taken it with a grain of salt. I've received warnings about 3 men and 2 of them were completely decent and wonderful guys who had hard breakups. That's different than a serial asshole or true stalker. The other, well, yeah... he's psycho and everyone knows.

The walking dead?
Again. Same page.

 

[SoulAssasin247]

Maybe you should all get together and talk about us, then.

If a man is being sincere, he has no worries. If I have 2 friends and they are both happy because a man says he “loved” them, and they find out it’s the same man? Saying the same thing?
Yeah. He’s a douche.

Don’t try to turn this around on the “clicks”.

I have no worries, but I can clearly see the obvious. It's wrong to play anyone, but we're all adults, it doesn't work you move on and be more selective next time.


I see you don't deny anything I said and I know everything I said is the truth. I am not turning anything around, I am stating the obvious 100% truth.

Have a good day my grammar stalker, who has never attempted to correct and/or teach me proper grammar lmao

 

[PrettyLilPussy]

It is said - your kink, isn't my kink.
In the same vein, your Lit-experience isn't my Lit-experience.

Just be kind people. Whether in love or disagreement. There is enough bullshit in the world .

"If you can't say anythin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." - Bambi

 

[Kimleigh]

I've been on Lit long enough to have seen this situation happen more than I can count on one hand. There always exists a group of men on here who engage in this kind of behaviour.

My only advice to the ladies is to be very skeptical and cautious when someone expresses extraordinary feelings towards them. It's not impossible for that sort of thing to happen, but it seems to be more of a rarity. It's easy to hide behind a name, say all the right things, make up a flawless story-line and have people completely buy into it.
There was a guy who played the role of a female for 6-7 years or longer on the GB before he was eventually discovered to be a completely different character.

I don't know what kind of reputation I have, but I always make sure there's no confusion about my intentions. And faking emotions and playing with others' feelings is more of a drain and waste of time and energy to me.

I like you.

It does.
Look at my profile pic.

And Fara too! So beautiful!

 

[Farawyn]

I have no worries, but I can clearly see the obvious. It's wrong to play anyone, but we're all adults, it doesn't work you move on and be more selective next time.


I see you don't deny anything I said and I know everything I said is the truth. I am not turning anything around, I am stating the obvious 100% truth.

Have a good day my grammar stalker, who has never attempted to correct and/or teach me proper grammar lmao

No. I agree with being more wary and selective next time. That’s my mantra to my GFs, to the point where I’m A Momme. I’m sure I annoy them, telling them to slow down.
I just hate to see the broken hearts and tears. It hurts my heart.

 

[Dionysian Beast]

I like you.

Hey, thanks!

I'd understand if someone didn't like me.. I'm an acquired taste lol

 

[TongueLust]

Like a dumbass I have believed a few things on here, but all I could do is feel it and learn from it.
What I don't do is share personal things that anyone tells me.

 

[Paul_Chance]

For me, I just shake it off and keep going. I've always had a reckless heart, both online and off. I am willing to take the chance and sometimes it doesn't work out the way I'd like. Once someone has engaged in some behavior that doesn't meet my expectations and standards, I let them go.

I might "out them" to close friends, just as a cautionary tale. I wouldn't out them in a public forum, other to say that the relationship was there and now the relationship is gone.

Outing them in general all to often turns into a vicious game of he said, she said, with erstwhile friends on both sides piling on and fueling the drama. It gets ugly fast. I generally choose to not have that level of ugliness in my life. Out them, out them quickly and with a minimum of animosity. Just because someone treated me badly doesn't mean I am going to treat them badly in return. That is simply not who I am.

Yes, in life, online or off, people will hurt you if you live with an open heart. They will fail to live up to your expectations of their behavior, but as long as you clearly explained your expectations, then you can wash your hands of them with a clear conscience. Then, take some time to mourn the end of the relationship, maybe examine what happened as a learning experience, and then get on with your life.

Life is a big, beautiful, messy thing. We hurt and we get hurt. That is kind of how it works. Forgive early, forgive often and move on. Don't let the bad behavior of others change who you are. Have faith in yourself. Love and support yourself. Have high expectations of your behavior and the behavior of the people who are in your life. Work together so you can all live your best possible lives.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I had this dream once about lit where I used to be part of this so called girls group and one of the girls went to the guy and told him what was being said. So thankful now that someone pinched me and I woke up.

I'm a sucker for words, I'm emotional and needy and every bad "thing" about a woman wrapped into one short body. But I believe what I'm told and I give too many chances. I forgive and I care deeply. Tell me you care and I will stupidly believe you. No matter how many times I've been hurt. Because for all the liars, there are also honest, loving people. I'm in New York now staying with one of the most loving, in your face, tell it like it is, don't care if you want to hear it or not, people now. She doesn't tell me what I want to hear. She tells me the truth. Do I get mad? Of course. But I still love her to death.
Real people, with real feelings are here.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

*shrugs* Not sure what people say about me, or whatever. I feel as if I have somehow become persona-non-gratta and wondered why. I've never lied to anyone, or stalked anyone, or played any games. I may be depressed and depressing, but I'm exactly who I say I am, all day and night long.

I avoid and usually am not a part of any of the constant behind the scenes drama here. Mostly because I do not become a part of any cliques or get any playmates. So I do not know whats going on here. But I do know that I've seen it all before.

You have two choices. You can be a fantasy and play games. Or you can be who you are and have relationships. You cannot do both without setting fire to your life.

 

[Farawyn]

...

Yes, in life, online or off, people will hurt you if you live with an open heart. They will fail to live up to your expectations of their behavior, but as long as you clearly explained your expectations, then you can wash your hands of them with a clear conscience. Then, take some time to mourn the end of the relationship, maybe examine what happened as a learning experience, and then get on with your life.

Life is a big, beautiful, messy thing. We hurt and we get hurt. That is kind of how it works. Forgive early, forgive often and move on. Don't let the bad behavior of others change who you are. Have faith in yourself. Love and support yourself. Have high expectations of your behavior and the behavior of the people who are in your life. Work together so you can all live your best possible lives.

Agree.
One person not having closure isn’t in the same category as being a “player” though, which is someone saying what he/she needs to get what he/she wants, in the moment, without regard to long term repercussions.

 

[Farawyn]

I had this dream once about lit where I used to be part of this so called girls group and one of the girls went to the guy and told him what was being said. So thankful now that someone pinched me and I woke up.

I'm a sucker for words, I'm emotional and needy and every bad "thing" about a woman wrapped into one short body. But I believe what I'm told and I give too many chances. I forgive and I care deeply. Tell me you care and I will stupidly believe you. No matter how many times I've been hurt. Because for all the liars, there are also honest, loving people. I'm in New York now staying with one of the most loving, in your face, tell it like it is, don't care if you want to hear it or not, people now. She doesn't tell me what I want to hear. She tells me the truth. Do I get mad? Of course. But I still love her to death.
Real people, with real feelings are here.

I love you, girl. I truly do. Don’t change.

 

[TongueLust]

This thread has me curious, because I could back up what I say.

 

[Farawyn]

This thread has me curious, because I could back up what I say.

You haven’t said anything.
Or have you? Muuahahaha!!!

 

[PaulieJay]

*shrugs* Not sure what people say about me, or whatever. I feel as if I have somehow become persona-non-gratta and wondered why. I've never lied to anyone, or stalked anyone, or played any games. I may be depressed and depressing, but I'm exactly who I say I am, all day and night long.

I avoid and usually am not a part of any of the constant behind the scenes drama here. Mostly because I do not become a part of any cliques or get any playmates. So I do not know whats going on here. But I do know that I've seen it all before.

You have two choices. You can be a fantasy and play games. Or you can be who you are and have relationships. You cannot do both without setting fire to your life.

I hear you bro feels like by chance we ended up in the same clique #shrugs

 

[TongueLust]

You haven’t said anything.
Or have you? Muuahahaha!!!

Um... no I haven't, and if anyone says different please show me, tell me.
You know damn well that I don't play those games, so not sure why you said or have I?