Let's Talk About... Outing The Players

[Wild_Honey_66]

Tink.

Not here. Please.

Somewhere else, but Not.Here.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Tink.

Not here. Please.

Somewhere else, but Not.Here.

I was good. Here.
Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. And his false unicorns and fuck his secrets and lies.

 

[HBergeron]

Okay, so let's see:
Pragmatism =
1) Mean streak: where you get that, who knows? To me, calling someone mean when there's nothing mean in their statement is mean in itself. Just as emoticons don't erase mean (Really? Okay, duly noted.), heart imojis don't mean anyone is going to leave their wife for you.

2) Victim blaming: Yeah, where's that in my statement? If you are anxious to portray yourself as a victim, please don't let my statement get in the way.

3) Compartmentalization: There is no dichotomy whatsoever in loving your friends vs proclaiming exclusive, romantic love. I can have those feelings for friends on the other side of the world and a physical meeting, while it would be awesome, is not necessary to feel that kind of love. Real 'in-love' love seems to me to ultimately require a physicality to bring to fruition. And yes, that was the real-life situation of which I spoke.

Yes, attacking people and calling them mean because they have different opinions than you seems to be all the rage around here. Don't let me disturb your victimhood. After all - women are always true and honest - it's only the men (not all men) who are scoundrels, right?

This thread seems to have unleashed a lot of middle-school style bashing.

Think what you want. I do.

 

[PrettyLilPussy]

The truth is women are hurt joining up behind the scenes, sharing conversations they had with men. Men your secrets aren't safe, unless you have a female that doesn't deal with these groups of women. How would women feel if a big group of men got together and spoke ill of women, talking about who's a whore, who's a freak, who's easy, compare the bs females tell them, then take that behind the scenes group conversation and make it public slut shaming. I don't see this behavior from men, most just want to joke and look at tits. This post may piss many off, but remember I am not here lying and dealing with you ladies on a romantic level. I am just speaking my mind and if you start outing men I have zero to worry about.

Just for the record. I don't talk to the other girls. And while they are well within their rights to talk, not all women are doing so. I've been mostly warned by other men. I also find the men here to be the most gossipy. Let's talk about people as individuals instead of genders in this instance. It will prevent a LOT of misunderstanding.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Yes, attacking people and calling them mean because they have different opinions than you seems to be all the rage around here. Don't let me disturb your victimhood. After all - women are always true and honest - it's only the men (not all men) who are scoundrels, right?

do.

ACTUALLY some women are awful too and when I see that happening at this level I’ll be furious about that. Friendship and loyalty aren’t gender specific

 

[HBergeron]

Weird that my post above showed up twice...

 

[Farawyn]

I’ve started a reply to this thread a few times and given up each time. 1.) because I have too many thoughts and 2.) because I’m sure I could never express them as eloquently and thoughtfully as some here. But I’m up at 2am, and everyone feels wise this time of the night so maybe I’ll actually get through this.

I have read each response on this thread with a lot of interest and I think the main reason is that I don’t want to be the person that hurts someone. And I think that is what separates “flawed human” from “player/douchebag”. The intention. I can’t speak for another’s intentions so I will speak for mine.

I’m not someone who believes in Lit-monogamy (honestly, Lit has made me question my ideas of real life monogamy but that’s another thread) but I am always honest with the few people I do play with about that fact. I have a few hard rules for myself on this. Honesty (Learned the hard way that it’s the only way), Discretion (Flirting is one thing but no one will ever really know who and what I do behind e-doors), and Thoughtfulness (What’s for you is for you. If I send a picture it’s for you, if i say something it’s only for you, etc. I don’t recycle for anyone). I feel like those are pretty fair rules and for the very few I let close to my heart, I expect the same thing in return.

On the audio thread (and for my one bit of evangelizing I’ll encourage everyone to check it out ), Indie said something that stuck with me. “Some people are here to collect notches on their bedpost, and that’s fine. But some people are here to collect hearts, and that’s not fine.” I never want to do either to someone else and I don’t want to be either to someone else. I’ve fucked up many times and in creative ways. I’ve lied, I’ve been selfish, I’ve been careless but I’ve never ever set out to hurt anyone. I try (try! Remember I’m human!) to hold each person’s feelings as tenderly as I would want my own held. The same has certainly not been reciprocated with mine.

Now, all that being said, someone people want more than I am able or willing to give. I think that may be true for a fair few people here on one side or the other. Just because someone doesn’t want to be with just you, can’t live up to your expectations, or has fucked up doesn’t automatically make them a player/douchebag. And I think anyone claiming the moral high ground is a bit ironic. It IS Lit. If you want more, then take it off Lit and see what happens. But I digress.

I’ve rambled long enough, so for the TLDR folks

>Treat people how you would want to be treated and then one step better.
>Remember there is a very real person on the other side of your keyboard.
>Also, be willing to forgive when someone fucks up.
>Check out the audio thread (lol)​

I could seriously keep going on because this topic is very interesting to me. But I’ll stop boring whoever has made it this far.
Thank you Honey for this thread. I think it might actually have done a lot of good. Even if it just makes someone think before they speak.

Love and Bewbs,
PLP

Girl crush, but you knew that.
Alllllllllllllll if it. Especially not wanting to be a collected notch OR heart. I think it’s easy to be like that online. Don’t be.

 

[OldUncleJack]

Mmm..this thread won't cause any drama!

I make no further comment...

 

[Farawyn]

The truth is women are hurt joining up behind the scenes, sharing conversations they had with men. Men your secrets aren't safe, unless you have a female that doesn't deal with these groups of women. How would women feel if a big group of men got together and spoke ill of women, talking about who's a whore, who's a freak, who's easy, compare the bs females tell them, then take that behind the scenes group conversation and make it public slut shaming. I don't see this behavior from men, most just want to joke and look at tits. This post may piss many off, but remember I am not here lying and dealing with you ladies on a romantic level. I am just speaking my mind and if you start outing men I have zero to worry about.

Maybe you should all get together and talk about us, then.

If a man is being sincere, he has no worries. If I have 2 friends and they are both happy because a man says he “loved” them, and they find out it’s the same man? Saying the same thing?
Yeah. He’s a douche.

Don’t try to turn this around on the “clicks”.

 

[PrettyLilPussy]

Girl crush, but you knew that.
Alllllllllllllll if it. Especially not wanting to be a collected notch OR heart. I think it’s easy to be like that online. Don’t be.

Yes, I think it was especially bad in March/April when I was "fresh meat" so to speak but a little time and a LOT of observation has taught me a load.
Funny, the ones that have been outed I didn't know at all so I have been lucky. I am just also careful not to leave a body count. (Now, I'm having that drunk girl urge to message all my past 's. Someone stop me. Lol.)

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Where do you stand on breaking their kneecaps?

I live in the Mojave Desert, so I know where to bury the bodies. If you want kneecaps broken, that's an option

or you can bring them down here & feed them to the gators & pythons.

 

[tolyk]

Debate is healthy. It’s when you start wanting to throat punch someone you gotta call time out.

Yeah, I called time out on myself a while back.... I posted what I thought was the essence of the problem already anyway, but yeah, back to my time out.

 

[PuckIt]

***pushes a link in with a stick and runs***

 

[Farawyn]

Okay, so let's see:
Pragmatism =
1) Mean streak: where you get that, who knows? To me, calling someone mean when there's nothing mean in their statement is mean in itself. Just as emoticons don't erase mean (Really? Okay, duly noted.), heart imojis don't mean anyone is going to leave their wife for you.

2) Victim blaming: Yeah, where's that in my statement? If you are anxious to portray yourself as a victim, please don't let my statement get in the way.

3) Compartmentalization: There is no dichotomy whatsoever in loving your friends vs proclaiming exclusive, romantic love. I can have those feelings for friends on the other side of the world and a physical meeting, while it would be awesome, is not necessary to feel that kind of love. Real 'in-love' love seems to me to ultimately require a physicality to bring to fruition. And yes, that was the real-life situation of which I spoke.

Yes, attacking people and calling them mean because they have different opinions than you seems to be all the rage around here. Don't let me disturb your victimhood. After all - women are always true and honest - it's only the men (not all men) who are scoundrels, right?

This thread seems to have unleashed a lot of middle-school style bashing.

Think what you want. I do.

It’s not middle school. It’s anger and hurt.
We do think what we want, and took exception to your post. Dolling up dismissive statements with a smiley doesn’t make it okay.

Your number 3 is not what you said, nor what you implied. Rainshine and Tink are intelligent women. They took it the same way I did.
Work on your communication skills.

 

[HBergeron]

It’s not middle school. It’s anger and hurt.
We do think what we want, and took exception to your post. Dolling up dismissive statements with a smiley doesn’t make it okay.

Your number 3 is not what you said, nor what you implied. Rainshine and Tink are intelligent women. They took it the same way I did.
Work on your communication skills.

Respectfully, work on your reading comprehension skills. Perhaps you thought the last paragraph was part of #3. Who knows?

If you want to find meanness, you undoubtedly will.

Oh, and throwing a rose back in somebody's face isn't middle school?

 

[LostGirlTink]

Debate is healthy. It’s when you start wanting to throat punch someone you gotta call time out.

*sits in the time out corner*

 

[Farawyn]

Respectfully, work on your reading comprehension skills. Perhaps you thought the last paragraph was part of #3. Who knows?

If you want to find meanness, you undoubtedly will.

Oh, and throwing a rose back in somebody's face isn't middle school?

I know how to read.

As for Rainshine and BCC? It’s an e-rose.
It doesn’t count.
Any more than a heart means you are leaving your wife.
Consistency, pussycat. Consistency.

 

[Farawyn]

*sits in the time out corner*

Oh, bullshit, Tink.
You say what you want. Where you want.
This thread is about outing players, yes?
I personally don’t see a more appropriate thread to be mad about hurts done to people you love.

Maybe keep it out of stuff with bewbs... but here?
Say what you will.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

As far as I'm concerned, this isn't the thread for me. My own opinion after reading all of the stuff here. Drama. I'll turn on Lifetime for that. Don't want any more parts of this.

 

[OldUncleJack]

As far as I'm concerned, this isn't the thread for me. My own opinion after reading all of the stuff here. Drama. I'll turn on Lifetime for that. Don't want any more parts of this.

*like*

 

[TongueLust]

***pushes a link in with a stick and runs***

I liked it.

 

[Sexybritches69]

I thought this thread was supposed to have bewbs.

 

[Farawyn]

I thought this thread was supposed to have bewbs.

It does.
Look at my profile pic.

..... aaaaand SCENE!!!
Thanks for the compliments, friends.

 

[Sexybritches69]

It does.
Look at my profile pic.

I see some! Some purty ones too!

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

It does.
Look at my profile pic.

Yep, They qualify!