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Let's tickle the funny bones :)

Why is it when your wife or girlfriend get's pregnant, everybody rubs her stomach and say's, "congrats", but nobody rubs your dick and say's, "good job"?
 
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her
for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he
did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a
cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the
whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a
cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

"Dear Madam,
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not
sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was
under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that:

#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250
with the following note:

" Dear Sir,

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to
remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if
you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the
management.

Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present
landlady."
 
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him “Where am I ?” The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You can't fool me, you're in that basket up there."
 
I had a Trivia competition in the bag until the very last question ........ which I got wrong. The question was ‘Where do women have the curliest hair ?’ Apparently the correct answer was Fiji.

LMAO....I bet you thought somewhere else ;)
 
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