Lexx

[scylis]

OOC

even if it does, with Kai around, they don't need one..

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

OOC: Maybe the stowaway can figure out a way to cure Kai of his impotence. Just an idea for Shila to think about.

IC: Xev asked me what we should do with her. Well I had some personal ideas of what I'd like to do to her but then again we should probably lock her up if she wont answer any of our questions.

"Well since she won't tell us anything I think it would be the safest to lock her away for everyones safety." The others seemed to agree with me for once. The problem here was who was going to grab her?

 

[Silverlily]

Xev: "Maybe she did answer, Maybe RAHHHH! is her name," I giggled, watching Stanley jump again.

Now that Kai was here, I was quickly losing interest. Looking at him standing there with his weapon extended was making me dizzy. Without realizing it, I began to move my hand under my skirt. God, I needed sex! I would have embarassed myself if 790 haden't cleared his, ahh, throat.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

Looking around the room we were in I had an idea "Well guys I guess we should get going huh?" The others looked at me surprised.

"Stanley, what are you doing?" asked Xev who seemed distracted ever since Kai got here.

I continued "Well it looks like the stowaway wont tell us anything so we should leave her alone to herself while we get back to work. C'mon." The others followed me out of the room as we left the stowaway in the room with a confused look on her face.

Once we were out I ordered "Lexx, close off all exits to the room the stowaway is in."

Lexx obliged "As you command Stanley." Just then all of the exits in the room the stowaway was in closed up and sealed shut locking her inside. That should hold her for now.

Turning back to the others with a smirk on my face I told them "And that my friends is how you take care of business."

 

[PrimordialLoner]

Kai, last of the Brunen-Gi

OOC: I have no idea where I'm going with this, but here goes....

IC: With a preoccupied look on his face, Kai turns to the underappreciated captian. "Stanley, what we have here is a stowaway that we may have had for quite some time while Lexx didn't notice; we have no idea who she is, from where she came, or of what she is capable. While it may be a wise move to confine her to a specific portion of the ship, what you have also done is left her completely unobserved. May I suggest that one of us remain in the room with her, if for no other reason than to see if she decides to talk later? This way, we can make sure that she does not attempt anything dangerous, and only one of us will be occupied with the task of watching her." He watches Stanley for a reaction.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

With a blank look on my face I simply nodded at Kai "Uh, huh?"

790 explained "What he means is that someone should stand guard you moron!"

Giving 790 a dirty look I said "I knew that! Well then who will stand guard?" We all looked at each other for a moment.

I then sugested "I think Kai should do it." Xev and 790 turned at me with a pissed look on there faces.

I told them "Wait let me explain! Kai is the most capable of defending himself if the stowaway trys anything so he wouldnt be in as much danger if she tries anything."

790 told Xev "As much as I hate to admit it love of my life, the idiot does have a point."

Clearing my throat a bit I turned to him and ask "So Kai, what do you say?"

 

[Silverlily]

Xev: Smiling through a clenched jaw, I began to pace the room. "Alright, it's offical, I need sex. I don't care about a stowaway, unless of course, she's up for some mutual gratification. Stanley, why don't you have Lexx listen in on our guest. The corridor isn't important, is it? If it is, Kai can stay in there to keep an eye on things."

"In the meantime, where are we headed? Are there any people there, gorgeous people with working parts?" I said the last part wistfully, thinking of Kai.

Turning to Stanley, I dropped to my knees, "Please Stanley, I'm begging, find us a populated planet or moon or large piece of space debris. I don't care! A few more days of this and I'll be reduced to doing you!" I buried my head under my arms, knowing full well my ass was up in the air and my skirt wasn't covering it.

 

[Silverlily]

OCC - I must have been writing my post while Renegade was writing his. I fixed a few things and I think it still flows.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

Xev dropped to her knees infront of me and started yelling "Please Stanley, I'm begging, find us a populated planet or moon or large piece of space debris. I don't care! A few more days of this and I'll be reduced to doing you!"

She put her head under her arms as he ass aimed into the air with the skirt not covering it much. Seeing this caused an erection to form in my red uniform as I told her "Uh Xev, I got some bad news about that. You see, there are no planets with life on them anywhere around here. So..."

She grabed my shirt and yelled "How long till we get to one!?"

Nervously I asked "Lexx, how long will it be?"

Lexx answered "At least four days with the longest being six days."

Turning to Xev and seeing that look in her face I fell to my knees and pleaded "Please dont kill me! It's not my fault! I found out yesterday that we've been going the wrong way for the past week and I was trying to keep it a secret from you guys! I'm sorry! Please, I'll do anything!"

[Edited by Renegade on 09-17-2000 at 04:53 PM]

 

[PrimordialLoner]

Kai, last of the Brunen-Gi

Kai glances back and forth between Xev and Stanley. He raises an eyebrow and wonders of he ever acted so strangely when he was alive.

"Stanley, you have no ill will from me. Patience is one of my few remaining virtues.

"If I am to guard the stowaway, I will need you to open the door, Stanley." Kai turns toward the door and examines it, listening for movement on the other side.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

Backing away from Xev I told Kai "Ok but be careful in there. Lexx open the door for Kai to enter then close it behind him."

Lexx obliged "As you wish Stanley."

The door infront of us opened up just enough for Kai to enter then closed behind him. Now I was alone with a pissed off Xev and yapping 790....maybe I should have gone in there with Kai!

 

[Silverlily]

Xev

"You did this on purpose, Stanley Tweedle," I fumed. "Stuck on this ship with a head, a dead guy, and...and you! It's not fair!" Overcome with frustration, I began to cry.

My tears stopped almost as quickly as they began. Self pity just wasn't my thing. "You are going to make this up to me, Stanley. I'm not sure how, but you owe me. Big time, buddy."

790 was making some cooing noises, trying to pacify me. I tuned him out and began planning a way out of my predicament. Somewhere in this universe, there was sex to be had and I was going to find it if it killed all of us. I had to laugh at myself, Kai was already dead and 790 was never alive to begin with. Alright then, I was going to find sex if it killed Stanley. That thought put a smile on my face.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

Trying to calm down Xev I tell her "Xev I swear I had nothing to do with us getting lost. Well other then it was my fault that we went on the wrong course."

Xev snapped at me "You will pay for this Stanley H. Tweedle." She grabbed my shirt and threw me against the wall as she cornered me there.

"Xev, look I'm realy sorry! If there was anything I could do about it I would!"

790 yelled "Bitch slap his ass Xev!"

Turning to 790 I told the head "Shut up you piece of junk!"

Xev slamed me against the wall again "Dont you yell at him Stanley!"

She slams me into the wall again "This is all your fault and your gonna pay! Do you hear me?" She slams me again as I hit my head hard against the wall knocking me out.

Xev looked at me "Stanley? Are you ok?" She let go of me as my unconcious body fell to the floor.

Xev and 790 looked over me as 790 cheered "I think you killed him! I love you!"

 

[Silverlily]

Xev

OCC: Easy there, big fella, I'm a lover, not a fighter.

"Oh my god, Stanley, wake up! Stanley, you wimp, I didn't throw you that hard. Stanley!" I was getting hysterical now.

790 was still chortling in the corner, happily thinking Stanley was dead. "790 shut up! I need to think!" The noise continued. "790, off!" Thank god, blessed silence, but what was I going to do about Stanley? Kai would kill me when we found out.

In a panic, I ran over to Stanley's lifeless body and did the only thing I could think of. I unzipped his jumpsuit and began performing mouth to dick resuscitation . If there was any life left in him, I would know soon enough.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

OOC: Yeah but a horny love slave can be deadly. LOL

IC: As I lied there on the floor my head begins to spin as my eyes slowly open. What was my jumpsuit doing unzipped? Still not being able to move, I could feel something moving around my groin area. The sucking around my limp dick caused waves of pleasure to flow through my body as I used the little strength I had to look down to see what was going on.

To my surprise I saw Xev going down on me with tears in her eyes as her lips were wrapped around my cock head! My head fell back as my limp dick grew to it's full size in her mouth. This caused Xev to pull away and look at me now that she knew I was awake.

Our eyes meet as I tell her in a sheepish voice "Uh hi Xev. Why did you stop? It looked like you were enjoying that more then I thought you would."

 

[Silverlily]

OCC: More than you know!

"Oooh, Stanley, I wish I had killed you now. You scared the hell out of me!" I was furious.

But seeing Stanley's erect penis before me only served to remind me how badly I needed sex. My libido was programmed for overdrive, my needs were not my fault. Grabbing his dick and stroking it to it's full size, I ripped off my undergarments and quickly mounted him. Before he had a chance to speak, I clamped my hand over his mouth. "Shut up, Stanley. I told you, this is your fault and you would owe me big time. You breathe a word of this to anyone and I'll have 790 reprogram life support to suffocate you in your sleep."

Thrusting back and forth on Stanley's member, I continued until I climaxed. Fortunately for Stanley, he came at the same time. Rolling off of him and laying on the floor panting, I was able to force myself to thank him. "But I'm still not kidding, you tell no one. Not that anyone would believe you, but still, no one. I'm going to go take a shower now. 790, on." With that, I walked off down the hall, feeling much better than I had all day.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

IC: As Xev left me on the floor I rested as everything that had just happened went through my head. I finaly got Xev to have sex with me and all I had to do was pretend to be knocked out(heh heh heh).

Once I got my jumpsuit zipped up I asked Lexx in a low voice "Hey body, did you get all of that on tape?"

Lexx responded "Yes I did stanley. Would you like to view it now?"

Shaking my head I told him "No I'll watch it later. And keep you voice down or Xev will hear us." With that I head for my room to get some rest while patting myself on the back for that little trick I pulled.

OOC: Stanley is one tricky bastard aint he?

 

[PrimordialLoner]

Kai, last of the Brunen-Gi

OOC: Hehehe.... Let the games begin!

IC: Kai looks around the room and notices the stowaway sitting against a wall, apparently unaware of his entrance.

If Kai weren't so dead that couldn't feel emotion, he would have probably felt sorry for Xev and her situation. After all, although Xev had Stanley as a last resort to screwing while Kai had no one, he wasn't bothered by it because he didn't have Xev's hyperactive sex drive. Now that he thought of it, he didn't have a sex drive at all. He imagined that what Xev was experiencing was very, very frustrating.

Suddenly, Kai hears muffled shouting through the walls, then *thump*. Two minutes later, he hears soft moaning lasting for three more minutes. Thirty seconds after this ceases, he hears a single muffled voice and then the Lexx's booming voice say "Yes I did, Stanley. Would you like to view it now?" followed by more of the single muffled voice, which he now assumed to be Stanley's.

Having no idea what the Lexx was talking about, Kai ignores it continues his vigil.

 

[Silverlily]

Xev

As I walked down the corridor toward the showers, I heard Lexx say to Stanley, "Yes I did Stanley. Would you like to view it now?" I froze in my tracks. That little bastard taped us!

"Alright Xev, stay calm. Stanley doesn't know that you know. Stanley also doesn't remember you turned 790 back on before leaving." I have a bad habit of talking to myself sometimes. "Now, with this information, what are you going to do?"

Pacing around the corridor, I plotted a way to make Stanley suffer. But first I had to go back and get 790.

Walking back to the bridge, I gave Stanley the sweetest smile I could. "I forgot 790. I know how much he gets on your nerves. I'll just take him with me."

"But Xev, he...he," 790 protested. I placed my hand over his mouth and gave Stanley another smile.

"I know," I said when we reached the corridor, "we will discuss it in a moment. Now please, be quiet."

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

Xev came back to the bridge for 790. Wait...was 790 turned on or was he turned off right now? He must have been turned off or he would have said something. Yeah he was turned off. Trying to put that behind me I went back to my dutys on the Lexx.

Taking a seat I told Lexx "You know I should have came up with that idea a long time ago. Well atleast it worked and I got away with it." Sitting back in my chair I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

OOC: Since Shila said she's leaving the board(check general board)I guess we should forget about the stowaway thing or take over it for her. What do you think?

IC: I slowly awake after an hour long nap to go for a little jogging around the Lexx. Running through the ship I look around to see what Xev is doing but cant find her for some reason.

Thinking about how 790 could have been turned on when I was talking to Lexx earlier, I began to worry about if he told Xev but I just kept telling myself he was turned off. Where is Xev and 790 anyway?

 

[Silverlily]

Xev

OCC: We could have the stowaway slip into a mysterious coma, that way if Shila ever somes back, she can pick up from there. Also, has anyone seen scylis?

IC: As soon as we reached my chamber, 790 blurted out, "That worthless excuse for a human Tweedle made a tape of you, my most precious goddess of love! What were you doing that the scum sucking Piraxian belly worm would want to tape? No, don't tell me, I can't bear the thought of you near him."

I made a face at him. "790, shut up. I fucked Stanley. It's not my fault, I am programmed for sex. I have needs," I pouted. "He must have somehow taped us using Lexx. Can you access that tape? I want you to replace Stanley's head with yours."

 

[Renegade]

Stanley Tweedle

OOC: I saw Scylis on yesterday but he didnt post.

IC: While I was jogging Lexx told me "Stan, Kai wants to see you right now."

I asked in a tired voice "I'm busy, what does he want?"

Lexx explained "He says it's about the stowaway."

Heading back to where Kai and the Stowaway were locked inside I opened the door to see Kai carrying the woman in his arms. I yelled in surprise "What happened to her?"

Kai simply told me "She seems to be in a coma. I'm not sure what caused it however she is not a threat to us for now." Kai walked out of the room with the girl in his arms.

 

[PrimordialLoner]

Kai, last of the Brunen-Gi

While waiting for the stowaway to say something, Kai eventually noticed that she appeared limp. Kai supposed that she was either dead or asleep. Kai approached her find out which was the case. He determined that she was definitely alive, but he could not wake her despite his efforts. He decided to inform Stanley of this development.

After explaining to Stanley that he thought the stowaway might be in a coma, Kai walked past Stanley with the stowaway in his arms. Walking past the bridge, he noticed that her head may be in a poor position for air passage while he walked, so he shifted her position so that she was thrown over one shoulder. He carried the stowaway to the Lexx's cryochambers/closest-thing-Lexx-have-to-a-medical-facility and carefully lowered her onto one of the coffin-like chambers. Then, he left to look for seven-ninety, to help him with a more thorough examination, and Xev, who was the only one with any control over seven-ninety.

 

[Always]

WTF!!!

ooc: sorry guys! been gone a few days!

I blinked a few times and rocketed out of the coffin. I looked around in horror, having just found my way around one room. I examined the room for a ventilation vent or something...