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clutching_calliope said:Can anyone translate this rejection letter I got?
Thanks for letting us take a look at your poems. Unfortunately, they're
not right for us.
We welcome poems that are disturbing, but these didn't quite do it for
us. I'm not saying they weren't disturbing enough, just that each
poem, taken as a poem, wasn't in its total effect (of which "being
disturbing" is just one element) quite what we're looking for. I'm
sorry.
What?!
annaswirls said:ha! Oh my! That is a confusing one.
This is my take on the letter.
They think you are disturbed. They know that we have a union: United Disturbed Writers Association. They want to be sure you understand that it was not because of the disturbance in your poems that they were not accepted because that would be distrurbingly discriminatory.
If you fill in other words, you can see how this might be read in other circumstances. For example, why a girl does not get a call back for a second date.
Thanks for letting me date you. Unfortunately, you
not right for me.
I welcome women that are slutty, but these didn't quite do it for
us. I'm not saying they weren't slutty enough, just that each
woman, taken as a woman, wasn't in its total effect (of which "being
slutty" is just one element) quite what we're looking for. I'm
sorry.
or a job application
Thanks for letting us take a look at your application for employment. Unfortunately, you're not right for us.
We welcome employees that are elderly, but you didn't quite do it for
us. I'm not saying you aren't elderly enough, just that each
item on your application, taken as a item, wasn't in its total effect (of which "being
elderly" is just one element) quite what we're looking for. I'm
sorry.
heheheee the joy of rejection, you gotta look for it
hopefully you sent them a very well written thank you letter, including their rejection pasted at the bottom so they might get a chance to re-read their words
Well, I know where I'll be getting my drinks from now on.normal jean said:...
oh, just a tidbit from microbiology class a while back..
we did swabs of ordinary items used by people everyday at our school, then made cultures of them...the water fountain had more bacteria than the toilet seats we tested
That's disturbing.clutching_calliope said:Can anyone translate this rejection letter I got?
Thanks for letting us take a look at your poems. Unfortunately, they're
not right for us.
We welcome poems that are disturbing, but these didn't quite do it for
us. I'm not saying they weren't disturbing enough, just that each
poem, taken as a poem, wasn't in its total effect (of which "being
disturbing" is just one element) quite what we're looking for. I'm
sorry.
What?!
What I find disturbing is that someone so syntactically challenged is making judgments on literary quality.clutching_calliope said:Can anyone translate this rejection letter I got?
Thanks for letting us take a look at your poems. Unfortunately, they're
not right for us.
We welcome poems that are disturbing, but these didn't quite do it for
us. I'm not saying they weren't disturbing enough, just that each
poem, taken as a poem, wasn't in its total effect (of which "being
disturbing" is just one element) quite what we're looking for. I'm
sorry.
What?!
The key to good science is, of course, reproducibility, so we will need to repeat the experiment often. Just give me time to change the sheets.clutching_calliope said:You are such a joy!
So a thank you letter should look as follows?:
Dear Editor,
Thank you for taking the time to look at my undisturbed poetry. While I realize poetry for the disturbed is, in and of, elements of which disturbing is only a part, I will in the future try to be more disturbing bordering on eerily frightening. I have already called my psychiatrist, Mr. Tzara of Literotica fame (perhaps you have heard of him) and he will fully attest to my disturbing state of mind. I have also lined up a few science people, a Mr. Fly Guy (of the 69th variety) and a Ms. Anna Swirls, to test my chromosomes against those one would most likely associate with being 'normal'. I will send these results in with my next submission, which is, by the way, going to be titled "Ode to a Circular Explanation". It starts off making a lot of sense and in the end, you feel the enormity of the disgrace done to the bark of the yucatan trees in southern Argentina.
Again, I thank you for not appreciating the quietly disturbing effect my poems may have had, if they were going to be posted in your journal (because we all know it's the quiet ones you have to look out for.)
Sincerely,
calli
resident of ward 26
It's Dr. Tzara, thank you very much. Western Mailorder University granted me a PhD on the basis of my life experience.clutching_calliope said:You are such a joy!
So a thank you letter should look as follows?:
Dear Editor,
Thank you for taking the time to look at my undisturbed poetry. While I realize poetry for the disturbed is, in and of, elements of which disturbing is only a part, I will in the future try to be more disturbing bordering on eerily frightening. I have already called my psychiatrist, Mr. Tzara of Literotica fame (perhaps you have heard of him) and he will fully attest to my disturbing state of mind. I have also lined up a few science people, a Mr. Fly Guy (of the 69th variety) and a Ms. Anna Swirls, to test my chromosomes against those one would most likely associate with being 'normal'. I will send these results in with my next submission, which is, by the way, going to be titled "Ode to a Circular Explanation". It starts off making a lot of sense and in the end, you feel the enormity of the disgrace done to the bark of the yucatan trees in southern Argentina.
Again, I thank you for not appreciating the quietly disturbing effect my poems may have had, if they were going to be posted in your journal (because we all know it's the quiet ones you have to look out for.)
Sincerely,
calli
resident of ward 26
They're the ones that taught me to make fiagra at home, too!Tzara said:It's Dr. Tzara, thank you very much. Western Mailorder University granted me a PhD on the basis of my life experience.
You can be disturbing with me any day.
Hey. Don't you need to rinse your teeth and chew some leaves?flyguy69 said:They're the ones that taught me to make fiagra at home, too!
I'm planning a student uprising. We are going to stand in front of our monitors even as images of tanks roll across them.Tzara said:Hey. Don't you need to rinse your teeth and chew some leaves?
I get about quite a bit in my new job as a pitchman for Hair Club for Men.flyguy69 said:Yes, but these days they assume you are hailing a taxi.
Did you drink some, too?Tzara said:I get about quite a bit in my new job as a pitchman for Hair Club for Men.
Drinking alcohol while you are taking an MAO inhibitor may cause serious side effects.flyguy69 said:Did you drink some, too?
Ummm, remember my degree in Molecular Enzymology is from Western Mailorder Bartending College. Maybe you should try putting the shot glass on an upturned flashlight, drink it with your hands behind your back.Tzara said:Drinking alcohol while you are taking an MAO inhibitor may cause serious side effects.
What a poetic image!vampiredust said:when I breathe, butterflies fly out of my mouth.