Lit blog

[Sara Crewe]

Oh, good! I get to play The Wise Older One for a change.

That post, Mr. H., was hilarious, for several reasons wholly unrelated to you. I've been watching my hair color fade from a robust near black to a kind of weaselly Almost White (there are, if I look closely, some few dark follicle holdouts, but I fear their scattered outposts are being overrun by the Troops of Colorless Age). We will not speak of how the troops seem to have slimmed, regardless of their allegiance to Dark or White.

I admit I am disturbed by those television commercials where Walt Frazier and Keith Hernandez (I barely remember these guys myself! Should I discount their message?) tell me that I never will get laid again unless I wipe some shoe polish-like coloring agent through my thinning locks. Am I Cordovan or Ram Umber? Should I try to match the color of my dress loafers, as if my hair was like a tie or even cufflinks?

Oh, I am poet and so must write poem:

My hair is gray
And will not Stay,
Unhappy colored,
Anyway.​

Maybe I should just curl up in a corner someplace.

Sadly. Sadly.

If you do that I will hit you with a toaster.

 

[Tzara]

If you do that I will hit you with a toaster.

Y'know, I've never been hit with a toaster. Is that supposed to be a good thing?

I suppose there are people for whom that would be some kind of positive. It frankly doesn't sound attractive to me, but I am quite conservative. Sounds painful, actually.

Whatever.

We will not discuss what I would hit you back with, since it involves significant Body Parts and that may, in fact, embarrass you.

I will only say: Your body parts look swell, actually, and I might wish them tempered lazily among this confustication of what's what.

 

[Homburg]

I love her. She is uber funny. The scene with the toaster sealed it for me.


I want it to be okay for me to whap people with toasters.

Well, some relationships are perfectly ducky with such things.

--

Oh, good! I get to play The Wise Older One for a change.

That post, Mr. H., was hilarious, for several reasons wholly unrelated to you. I've been watching my hair color fade from a robust near black to a kind of weaselly Almost White (there are, if I look closely, some few dark follicle holdouts, but I fear their scattered outposts are being overrun by the Troops of Colorless Age). We will not speak of how the troops seem to have slimmed, regardless of their allegiance to Dark or White.

I admit I am disturbed by those television commercials where Walt Frazier and Keith Hernandez (I barely remember these guys myself! Should I discount their message?) tell me that I never will get laid again unless I wipe some shoe polish-like coloring agent through my thinning locks. Am I Cordovan or Ram Umber? Should I try to match the color of my dress loafers, as if my hair was like a tie or even cufflinks?

Oh, I am poet and so must write poem:

My hair is gray
And will not Stay,
Unhappy colored,
Anyway.​

Maybe I should just curl up in a corner someplace.

Sadly. Sadly.

I was, and still am, honestly unbothered by the loss of hair. I have a good head shape for shaving, and it is a good look for me. And I don' tthink that I'd mind the beard if it hadn't gone that particular colour direction.

It would be nice to not look so bloody old

 

[Tzara]

It would be nice to not look so bloody old

Yeah, it would.

Oh, well. Fuck.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Some of us think older men are very sexy.

Just sayin'.

bj

 

[Senna Jawa]

Two stories and only one me

A few days ago I found him [my friend] his dream job--taking care, one-on-one, of a 95 year old marxist Jew, AE, of Russian descend, who had recently a mishap with his leg but who otherwise is in amazingly good form and has clear mind (plus lots of stories, of historical value, about his revolutionary parents, and about his friends). Today my friend moved to AE, and AE himself from the care house, where AE stayed three rooms away from my father. After a month of sharing my "1bdr junior" apt it will take me a week to get back to my old ways or rather to feel the routine to take over.

Just in case, I didn't make any changes in my apt. And indeed, the "dream job" was more like a nightmare, and after 3 days my friend had to give up and he's back in my apt. He got himself a small tv, and now tv is on in his room even when he sleeps (there is no real wall between the bdr and the living room, where I reside, just a stiff but folding curtain-like door). It'd be hard to come up with something civilized, which would destroy my peace more than tv. I try to outdo tv with a jazz station, but even a jazz station has a lot of talking (at night I cannot have music loud anyway because of the neighbors). OK, I am listening to Beethoven Kreutzer Sonata on youtube (but the best rendition is there only fractionally, hence I am resigned to listning to another one, which is still quite excellent). If I had to choose two music pieces then Kreutzer Sonata would be one of them (granted that played by Vengerov).

On the other hand, my Ohio friend is now in Texas. I was wrong (under-informed) about his $300+ spent on the textbooks. He got "faked money", as a kind of "student stipend", for the books. Then our common friend, from back when the three of us worked at the same company, has invited him, sent him a plane ticket, and even wants to set him with a separate apt. My Ohioan already has sent me some letters filled with negative thinking and premonitions of failure. I asked him to stop it and in general to be disciplined in his thinking, meaning a total avoidance of negative words and phrases. It's the same as in poetry. I guess, I should write an essay about the positive language (which should not be confused with any fake "self-assurance"--I loath it so much, that ugly "self-assurance").

 

[Senna Jawa]

knol, Art of Agreement

It's but a very modest beginning, perhaps my announcement is very premature, for sure, so be it:

Art of Agreement​

(I used to write about it also in the past, half of the time in English; I don't know if I'll concentrate on it enough to push it to a more advanced stadium).

 

[Anschul]

A few days before the 36th time my birth date rolled around ...

Hommie, LOL!!!! (and I never, ever LOL, at least in print...)

Any male who can effectively quote my favorite chick flick is drop-dead okay in my book (have you read the book? Even better).

When I took my last ID picture for the Federal Gov (actually 15 years ago now), the picture looked like Mr. French (anyone remember Mr. French?), except that the full black beard had a chunk of white on my chin. After seeing that picture, I immediately shaved the damn thing off, and never grew it back. Now, at 61, I see lots of gray on the sides of my head, so I keep my hair cut real short (Won't shave it--I hate shaving with a passion anyway, and only shave my face when I need to, like when I'm hoping to get lucky, etc.,). But a while back I went about a week without shaving, and behold, my beard is ENTIRELY WHITE!! Santa Claus white. The mustache went white ten years ago, but I never correlated the two. And it grows fast, so I could start growing on October 1 and be Santa Claus by Christmas (except that Santa Claus is an odd concept in the Unitarian Universalist tradition--not unknown, but sort of Republican, you know?).

But artificial color? Good God!!! What's next? Artificial flavor?

Have fun storming the castle!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Hommie, LOL!!!! (and I never, ever LOL, at least in print...)

Any male who can effectively quote my favorite chick flick is drop-dead okay in my book (have you read the book? Even better).

When I took my last ID picture for the Federal Gov (actually 15 years ago now), the picture looked like Mr. French (anyone remember Mr. French?), except that the full black beard had a chunk of white on my chin. After seeing that picture, I immediately shaved the damn thing off, and never grew it back. Now, at 61, I see lots of gray on the sides of my head, so I keep my hair cut real short (Won't shave it--I hate shaving with a passion anyway, and only shave my face when I need to, like when I'm hoping to get lucky, etc.,). But a while back I went about a week without shaving, and behold, my beard is ENTIRELY WHITE!! Santa Claus white. The mustache went white ten years ago, but I never correlated the two. And it grows fast, so I could start growing on October 1 and be Santa Claus by Christmas (except that Santa Claus is an odd concept in the Unitarian Universalist tradition--not unknown, but sort of Republican, you know?).

But artificial color? Good God!!! What's next? Artificial flavor?

Have fun storming the castle!

Sweetie pie, you just made my day! I DO remember Mr. French! I used to love those reruns when I was a kid (yeah, I know - I'm still a young punk). But what always made that show special for me was that, whenever I watched it, I ALWAYS though Sissy was uber hot. When I looked back on it, years later, I realized that this was my first indication that I might be gay! Too funny!

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm really pleased with my personal growth over the last few years. I like the "now" me a lot more the "then" me. I was contemplating this fact today, when I realized there were certain aspects of my character that I kind of miss. So I'm going to reminisce about something the "then" me did that I still find exceeding funny.

First let me interject that I find it very intriguing that many ‘highly religious’ individuals dislike sex so much. Where do they think it came from? Maybe they "believe" everything EXCEPT the "in his own image" thing?

Anyway, I had an appointment with my gynecologist a couple of years ago, and while sitting in the waiting room, I got into a rather heated conversation with a woman who was obviously a member of one of those religions that believed sex is for procreation only.

In one of my normal chipper, profane moods, I had made the comment about how there are few things more enjoyable that having my insurance company pay somebody to stick their fingers in my pussy. I personally find this to be a real hoot. God Bless, Blue Cross!

When the woman gave a vile stare followed by a series of harrumphs (I really like that word, by the way – repeat after me: harrumph, harrumph, harrumph. Wasn’t that fun?) I smiled and asked her if she was there to get a new clit – one that worked.

For some reason, and I really don’t understand the connection, she glared at me and screeched at me, “Jezebel’s like you are all going to hell.”

First of all, if you READ the freak’en bible, Jezebel was murdered for espousing FREEDOM of religion. What the f**k was SHE thinking – the bitch! Daring to give people choices – you slut, Jezebel, you! Secondly, these wonderful caring people thanked her by throwing her ass out the window so the dogs could eat her. (yeah, I could easily see this anal retentive bitch doing that!)

Needless to say, the receptionist intervened. The “now” me would have bitch slapped the broad, but the “then” me was still laughing too hard at her reaction.

I want to get back that part of me that didn’t give a flying shit what other people, excepting my Hubby and kids, thought about me. She dealt with adversity by laughing her ass off at it and then just doing whatever it was she thought was right. I’m starting to see that isn’t a bad way to live.

 

[Safe_Bet]

So much for personal growth! This morning I CHOSE to be offended by somebody who was trying to be nice.

While at a PTA meeting (Yes, I DO regularly attend PTA meetings, so hush!) The chick who was sitting next to me told me in whispered confidence "you know, I have always liked t.A.T.u."

She was trying to be nice and reach out I guess. The problem is that she picked the absolute WORST example for her "hands across the sexuality gap" attempt.

I gave her a "you have got to be kidding me!" look and told her "honey, those two chicks can't sing worth a damn and BTW they don't even make believe that they are lesbians anymore - so can the Friend to Lesbians shit." I don't know what got to me more: her doing the sexual equivalent of saying "some of my best friends are black people" or if it was that ANY sane person would actually dare say they LIKE t.A.T.u.. (BTW if you aren't familiar with them HERE, Enjoy! It just really bugged me. My perception was that she wasn't trying to be nice to me, but wanted to be nice to “The Lesbian.”

Now, I feel pretty bad about what I said. She was misguided and kind of condescending, but she did try. Who knows, she might be one of those poor souls that are gay, but are afraid to admit it (even to themselves). Or perhaps she was just trying to let me know that not everyone was lesbiphobic. It’s not like knowing a lesbian is the fast track to becoming a social icon or anything. Bottom line is that I might have been rude to her in exchange for an innocent comment. I don’t know.

The next time I see her I’m going to be nicer. I might even go and have coffee with her so that she can have a chance to “relate” more. But, if that chick wants me to listen to t.A.T.u with her she can just forget it! All bets are off!

 

[Angeline]

So much for personal growth! This morning I CHOSE to be offended by somebody who was trying to be nice.

While at a PTA meeting (Yes, I DO regularly attend PTA meetings, so hush!) The chick who was sitting next to me told me in whispered confidence "you know, I have always liked t.A.T.u."

She was trying to be nice and reach out I guess. The problem is that she picked the absolute WORST example for her "hands across the sexuality gap" attempt.

I gave her a "you have got to be kidding me!" look and told her "honey, those two chicks can't sing worth a damn and BTW they don't even make believe that they are lesbians anymore - so can the Friend to Lesbians shit." I don't know what got to me more: her doing the sexual equivalent of saying "some of my best friends are black people" or if it was that ANY sane person would actually dare say they LIKE t.A.T.u.. (BTW if you aren't familiar with them HERE, Enjoy! It just really bugged me. My perception was that she wasn't trying to be nice to me, but wanted to be nice to “The Lesbian.”

Now, I feel pretty bad about what I said. She was misguided and kind of condescending, but she did try. Who knows, she might be one of those poor souls that are gay, but are afraid to admit it (even to themselves). Or perhaps she was just trying to let me know that not everyone was lesbiphobic. It’s not like knowing a lesbian is the fast track to becoming a social icon or anything. Bottom line is that I might have been rude to her in exchange for an innocent comment. I don’t know.

The next time I see her I’m going to be nicer. I might even go and have coffee with her so that she can have a chance to “relate” more. But, if that chick wants me to listen to t.A.T.u with her she can just forget it! All bets are off!

Eh, don't sweat it S_B. I watched the video and those little BarbiGirlz sounded pretty sorry to me. Maybe the PTA can take up a collection, have a bake sale or something and buy her an Indigo Girls cd so she can at least have good taste while she's being politcally correct.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Eh, don't sweat it S_B. I watched the video and those little BarbiGirlz sounded pretty sorry to me. Maybe the PTA can take up a collection, have a bake sale or something and buy her an Indigo Girls cd so she can at least have good taste while she's being politcally correct.

That will work! I'll even lend her my Amy's Butchies CD


Oh! NO, better yet! I'll make her a copy of my FAVORITE song!

 

[Angeline]

That will work! I'll even lend her my Amy's Butchies CD


Oh! NO, better yet! I'll make her a copy of my FAVORITE song!

The Butches rock! And that My Puss song is one the fucking funniest things I've ever heard:

"My Puss is the best on the block/ Your puss invaded Iraq."

Omg, i love it!

 

[WickedEve]

So much for personal growth! This morning I CHOSE to be offended by somebody who was trying to be nice.

While at a PTA meeting (Yes, I DO regularly attend PTA meetings, so hush!) The chick who was sitting next to me told me in whispered confidence "you know, I have always liked t.A.T.u."

She was trying to be nice and reach out I guess. The problem is that she picked the absolute WORST example for her "hands across the sexuality gap" attempt.

I gave her a "you have got to be kidding me!" look and told her "honey, those two chicks can't sing worth a damn and BTW they don't even make believe that they are lesbians anymore - so can the Friend to Lesbians shit." I don't know what got to me more: her doing the sexual equivalent of saying "some of my best friends are black people" or if it was that ANY sane person would actually dare say they LIKE t.A.T.u.. (BTW if you aren't familiar with them HERE, Enjoy! It just really bugged me. My perception was that she wasn't trying to be nice to me, but wanted to be nice to “The Lesbian.”

Now, I feel pretty bad about what I said. She was misguided and kind of condescending, but she did try. Who knows, she might be one of those poor souls that are gay, but are afraid to admit it (even to themselves). Or perhaps she was just trying to let me know that not everyone was lesbiphobic. It’s not like knowing a lesbian is the fast track to becoming a social icon or anything. Bottom line is that I might have been rude to her in exchange for an innocent comment. I don’t know.

The next time I see her I’m going to be nicer. I might even go and have coffee with her so that she can have a chance to “relate” more. But, if that chick wants me to listen to t.A.T.u with her she can just forget it! All bets are off!

One of the best posts I've read in a long time.

And not just because you're a lesbian. I hope I'm cool by replying to a gay post. I have a boyfriend but he says he'd be okay with me doing another woman. You know how guys are. So that kind of makes me gay... you know... my boyfriend wants to watch me and another chick. So about your post, I hear where you're coming from, my lesbian sister.

 

[Safe_Bet]

One of the best posts I've read in a long time.

And not just because you're a lesbian. I hope I'm cool by replying to a gay post. I have a boyfriend but he says he'd be okay with me doing another woman. You know how guys are. So that kind of makes me gay... you know... my boyfriend wants to watch me and another chick. So about your post, I hear where you're coming from, my lesbian sister.

No problem my lil Newbie Sister.

Amy, who is still my boifriend, says she will gladly "show you the way to gay."

I plan on being declared preggers here in the next few days and Amy says I don't get to play, so I'll have to watch too.

You guys are welcome to visit if you can meet one very important condition: You don't like t.A.T.u do you?

 

[WickedEve]

Hugo told me that he wore "dealer pants" back in '79. Lots of pockets, with snaps, filled with yellow hash and pink ladies and weed. I called him Mr. Hash Pants. He said he wasn't really a dealer, he'd just go to parties with his party supplies. I told him that back in '79 I was on my knees, praying to God to let me speak in tongues like the other good Sisters of the church. It never happened. I still kneel a lot, though. I wonder how Mr. Hash Pants and Holy Roller Girl ever got together.

I don't want to speak in tongues anymore. I don't even go to church. Hugo flushed his pot in the early 80s. So what do we do now? We spent the day watching the stock market and Ike on the weather channel. We took one break to go to the barbecue place and ask if they had "poo" on the menu. The waitress said, "Oh, yeah. Someone mentioned that and I've been meaning to change the sign." The sign out front reads "Enjoy The Poo." The f was stolen and someone turned the d upside down. Then we went back to my house so he could fuck me. I wore cum-wet panties to the store. Actually, I wore them to the school but that sounds really bad, so let's just go with the store. I told him later that his cum had dried in them and he should shove them in my mouth and fuck me again, but he had to go home and make dinner. He did suggest that I put them in the freezer until Saturday -- to keep them fresh. He was worried about freshness and didn't want me to get sick from expired cum.

I wonder how Mr. Hash Pants and Holy Roller Girl ever got together.

 

[WickedEve]

No problem my lil Newbie Sister.

Amy, who is still my boifriend, says she will gladly "show you the way to gay."

I plan on being declared preggers here in the next few days and Amy says I don't get to play, so I'll have to watch too.

You guys are welcome to visit if you can meet one very important condition: You don't like t.A.T.u do you?

What is tatu? I'm so out of touch.

 

[sassynyc]

So much for personal growth! This morning I CHOSE to be offended by somebody who was trying to be nice.

While at a PTA meeting (Yes, I DO regularly attend PTA meetings, so hush!) The chick who was sitting next to me told me in whispered confidence "you know, I have always liked t.A.T.u."

She was trying to be nice and reach out I guess. The problem is that she picked the absolute WORST example for her "hands across the sexuality gap" attempt.

I gave her a "you have got to be kidding me!" look and told her "honey, those two chicks can't sing worth a damn and BTW they don't even make believe that they are lesbians anymore - so can the Friend to Lesbians shit." I don't know what got to me more: her doing the sexual equivalent of saying "some of my best friends are black people" or if it was that ANY sane person would actually dare say they LIKE t.A.T.u.. (BTW if you aren't familiar with them HERE, Enjoy! It just really bugged me. My perception was that she wasn't trying to be nice to me, but wanted to be nice to “The Lesbian.”

Now, I feel pretty bad about what I said. She was misguided and kind of condescending, but she did try. Who knows, she might be one of those poor souls that are gay, but are afraid to admit it (even to themselves). Or perhaps she was just trying to let me know that not everyone was lesbiphobic. It’s not like knowing a lesbian is the fast track to becoming a social icon or anything. Bottom line is that I might have been rude to her in exchange for an innocent comment. I don’t know.

The next time I see her I’m going to be nicer. I might even go and have coffee with her so that she can have a chance to “relate” more. But, if that chick wants me to listen to t.A.T.u with her she can just forget it! All bets are off!

Some of my best friends are lesbians.
Actually, some of my best friends are queens, but you know that made you laugh.

~ MFNP

 

[Safe_Bet]

What is tatu? I'm so out of touch.

You asked for it Sis! t.A.T.u.!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Some of my best friends are lesbians.
Actually, some of my best friends are queens, but you know that made you laugh.

~ MFNP

Why thank you, Oh Great MFNP! May every one of the CDs in your collection morph into t.A.T.u. just to show my undying gratitude!

Smart ass Biotch!

 

[sassynyc]

Why thank you, Oh Great MFNP! May every one of the CDs in your collection morph into t.A.T.u. just to show my undying gratitude!

Smart ass Biotch!

You know I'm only teasing. Couldn't pass that one up.

 

[WickedEve]

You asked for it Sis! t.A.T.u.!

Never heard of them. I've been into Rob Zombie this summer, so they're sound isn't exactly my style. Besides, a 40-something mom isn't likely to enjoy to silly women dressed like school girls. Well, this mom isn't. lol

 

[UnderYourSpell]

One of the best posts I've read in a long time.

And not just because you're a lesbian. I hope I'm cool by replying to a gay post. I have a boyfriend but he says he'd be okay with me doing another woman. You know how guys are. So that kind of makes me gay... you know... my boyfriend wants to watch me and another chick. So about your post, I hear where you're coming from, my lesbian sister.

I got told this too just a couple of days ago it's a universal male fantasy thang just try telling him you want to watch him doing it with a man

 

[WickedEve]

I got told this too just a couple of days ago it's a universal male fantasy thang just try telling him you want to watch him doing it with a man

Yeah, straight guys seem to be okay with women having sex with each other, but not with guys doing it. We've been together for over a year, but one of the first things he said to me was that he'd be okay with it if I was bi. I told him, "Nope. I'm not bi." He asked if I was sure. He'll just have to live with that disappointment. lol
I think I'll send him that tatu link.