Lit. Jealousy - Do You Have It??

[BiGuyMN]

I have never in my life felt jealousy. I don't even know what it feels like, to help people with their problem. It's a non issue for me. To me, if I am in love with someone, but they aren't interested, I just wish happiness upon them. I wish for them to be loved and in love. Just because I love something(or someone) does not grant me ownership of it after all.

I'm like this. All my past boyfriends I am always happy to hear about their lives and girlfriends or new wives. I also don't fall in love easily, that might help with not feeling jealousy. I care about people a lot though.

I'm pretty sure this is about LIT, not real life. LIT is not real life (for me).


...and I call bullshit. You have never felt jealousy ever (in real life)??? It is normal and human.

 

[BiGuyMN]

You used to show your titties Did you eye roll at yourself?


Oh, and hi aquagal *hugs*

Yeah! Where are the titties!

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

I'm pretty sure this is about LIT, not real life. LIT is not real life (for me).Dollie------- I'm from Minnesota and this is as real as it gets.


...and I call bullshit. You have never felt jealousy ever (in real life)??? It is normal and human.

Jealousy is like any other feeling, we all feel it at times. perhaps some just aren't aware of the feeling.

 

[BiGuyMN]

Jealousy is like any other feeling, we all feel it at times. perhaps some just aren't aware of the feeling.

Yes. When are doing that threesome?

 

[DayMaker]

I've been watching this thread all morning, so many really great thoughts and perspectives. I couldn't even begin to quote them all. I needed several cups of coffee before I attempted responding to this one. This is one of those times that Lit needs a like button.

There are so many "types" of jealousy, beyond what we typically consider as romantic jealousy. In a way I get jealous all the time, but not in a way that really angers me. It's all really driven by my insecurities, which is my problem (not someone else's). Most often on Lit, I'm jealous of how well someone else does something. It makes me wish I was funnier, or more clever, or wittier, or more interesting.

As for romantic jealousy (or attention jealousy), Lit is not a great place for insecurities. There will always be someone who seems like they are sexier, funnier, prettier, or is getting all the attention. It's the nature of coming to a place built on a foundation of erotica - people are going to flirt or become intrigued with others. If I'm secure (with myself and my relationship), I still get pangs of jealousy but that just tells me that I care about my connection with that person. I don't take it out on them, I see it as a reflection on myself.

 

[Tiamo15]

I'm pretty sure this is about LIT, not real life. LIT is not real life (for me).


...and I call bullshit. You have never felt jealousy ever (in real life)??? It is normal and human.

I was talking about Lit as well. I don't get jealous when other people get attention, I expect it here. A lot of girls with pic threads do get quite jealous though.

And just like there are levels of emotions that people can have varying degrees of, I have a pretty stable personality when it comes to attachment. Some people fall in hopeless love very easily, get crushed when it is lost. Some people fall in and out of love very fast. Me? I only fell hard once. A person who doesn't fall for people doesn't have the opportunity to experience much jealousy I guess.

Insecurities? Sure, I wish I was more funny or more outgoing or cuter, but I don't really think about it and am fine the way I am. I do appreciate the awesome guys and girls here who offer these things better than I do!

 

[ydahecnot]

I've been watching this thread all morning, so many really great thoughts and perspectives. I couldn't even begin to quote them all. I needed several cups of coffee before I attempted responding to this one. This is one of those times that Lit needs a like button.

There are so many "types" of jealousy, beyond what we typically consider as romantic jealousy. In a way I get jealous all the time, but not in a way that really angers me. It's all really driven by my insecurities, which is my problem (not someone else's). Most often on Lit, I'm jealous of how well someone else does something. It makes me wish I was funnier, or more clever, or wittier, or more interesting.

As for romantic jealousy (or attention jealousy), Lit is not a great place for insecurities. There will always be someone who seems like they are sexier, funnier, prettier, or is getting all the attention. It's the nature of coming to a place built on a foundation of erotica - people are going to flirt or become intrigued with others. If I'm secure (with myself and my relationship), I still get pangs of jealousy but that just tells me that I care about my connection with that person. I don't take it out on them, I see it as a reflection on myself.

I'm jealous of that tank top. But seriously, great points.

 

[BiGuyMN]

I've been watching this thread all morning, so many really great thoughts and perspectives. I couldn't even begin to quote them all. I needed several cups of coffee before I attempted responding to this one. This is one of those times that Lit needs a like button.

There are so many "types" of jealousy, beyond what we typically consider as romantic jealousy. In a way I get jealous all the time, but not in a way that really angers me. It's all really driven by my insecurities, which is my problem (not someone else's). Most often on Lit, I'm jealous of how well someone else does something. It makes me wish I was funnier, or more clever, or wittier, or more interesting.

As for romantic jealousy (or attention jealousy), Lit is not a great place for insecurities. There will always be someone who seems like they are sexier, funnier, prettier, or is getting all the attention. It's the nature of coming to a place built on a foundation of erotica - people are going to flirt or become intrigued with others. If I'm secure (with myself and my relationship), I still get pangs of jealousy but that just tells me that I care about my connection with that person. I don't take it out on them, I see it as a reflection on myself.

Tolyk and I thank you for the titties!

All kidding aside...That was well written and thoughtful.

 

[BiGuyMN]

I was talking about Lit as well. I don't get jealous when other people get attention, I expect it here. A lot of girls with pic threads do get quite jealous though.

And just like there are levels of emotions that people can have varying degrees of, I have a pretty stable personality when it comes to attachment. Some people fall in hopeless love very easily, get crushed when it is lost. Some people fall in and out of love very fast. Me? I only fell hard once. A person who doesn't fall for people doesn't have the opportunity to experience much jealousy I guess.

Insecurities? Sure, I wish I was more funny or more outgoing or cuter, but I don't really think about it and am fine the way I am. I do appreciate the awesome guys and girls here who offer these things better than I do!

You are amazing the way you are, I know I am not the only one that thinks this.

Sorry, Hi, nice to meet you. I see you post.

 

[Little_Sister]

I have never been jealous of another poster but I have run across it in the 3rd wheel sense when I played with someone in a Lit "relationship". I have never had it directed at me personally though.

what is typed in PM land is much more important than what's typed in board land.

This.

a couple of Lit users I like to check in with and exchange PMs on a regular basis. That said, I don't have or want exclusive rights to their attention.

This.

I guess I've never understood the concept of coming here to be platonic, speaking generally and not specifically to you, Leigh. Aren't there plenty of message boards or other type of forums where sex is not a predominant subject and one can make friends without hot fun being at least a possibility?

I understand it but I come to lit to play. I want the hot fun with someone I am attracted to and have a connection with.

Just because I love something(or someone) does not grant me ownership of it after all.

Well said.

I'm married and put that right in my profile. I also find that I seem to click best with women who are also married and of a similar age. We're more likely to be here for the same reasons and have more RL things in common to chat about. Nobody gets hurt.

This. In general I have always gravitated to married men for chat. There is always an exception of course but in general they seem to have a better understanding of my limits and respect them.

and that^^ I totally get. Attached + Attached have better odds of coming to common ground on what needs aren't being fulfilled in their established relationship. They also have common goals which include not disrupting said relationship..
Attached + Unattached...presents problems that even Stevie Wonder could see, I think that most who engage in that have a whole different perspective on things... And probably also use water to put out grease fires, but who am I to draw conclusions?

You are such a smart ass. Dont ever change.




And to Leigh, I think you should tell her. ((hugs))

 

[AKentuckyLady]

Oh, I've gotten jealous. Mostly when someone that I'm crushing on flirts with someone on the threads.

But I've gotten over it. I think the longer you're here, the better you can handle things like that. I used to take things on Lit literally, but not anymore. I don't even take PM's to heart anymore.

I don't get jealous of other women, I truly enjoy seeing a lot of them post here and I like talking to them too. And after one major failed Lit romance that was inches away from going to real life, I put that iron cage back around my heart and put a barrier on it so it won't happen again. That's helped more than anything.

It also depends on where your mindset is. Lit is is all about flames of passion, and those flare and then die quickly. If you're looking for love on Lit, you're almost certainly going to be disappointed. I know it's happened here and there, but that's rare. If you have low expectations, you'll be better off.

Lit for me is self-confidence, polishing my flirting skills for the outside world now that I'm single, and indulging myself in giving others what they so desperately need - some attention, a compliment, a smile. That gives me more satisfaction than anything else these days. If I can brighten someone's day then it makes me happy.

 

[Leigh81]

I'm jealous of that tank top. But seriously, great points.

LOL...I was thinking you were going to say she had 2 great points.
Since starting this thread it's helped me, still processing lol
I'm glad that there is so many different kinds of people here. I have never felt like it was any kind of competition. I sure hope no one feels that way with me, I'm so easy going for the most part but yes at work & with clients I'm pretty serious.

L

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

D(.)(.)

Yes. When are doing that threesome?

Dollie-------- Next time we get up to Minnesota we'll call you. Promise not to get jealous If I let the other guy make love to my boobies first.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

Denny-------- My turn. Aside from all of the joking this is a very good thread with some nice comments. I agree, for the most part Lit is fun and it's a great place to forget the real world outside the windows.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

You are such a smart ass. Dont ever change.

It's who I am, and why I'm single...

 

[oOMinxOo]

Not here, yet. I am, however, very familiar with how relationships build over the Internet. I really believe you can purely love the soul of someone you've never met. That can make for some epic heartache and jealousy.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

It's who I am, and why I'm single...

Some day, when you least expect it, the smart ass of your dreams will come along.
But don't change even if that smart ass thinks he needs to change you. Smart asses don't know everything.................. but I try!

 

[Tiamo15]

Hi!

Hahaha no. I did used to, but actually if we are naming names I will say there was a few jealous posts on the GB that Tiamo gets all the action because her titties are everywhere. Holy hell, if I had nips like that too...well, why not?

I just saw this. Sometimes searching on my name in various forums can produce interesting results...

I don't post them everywhere!

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

No...you are awesome...most can't handle that.

Some day, when you least expect it, the smart ass of your dreams will come along.
But don't change even if that smart ass thinks he needs to change you. Smart asses don't know everything.................. but I try!

 

[Mebtaz2000]

Hi Leigh,

We've never spoken, but I have admired you strength of character as you have battled with cancer. And I've always thought you have incredible taste in music. So many people have posted on this thread so you have obviously struck a chord that hits deep with people, and I think that is a great thing.

In my experience emotions are neither negative or positive. They just are. They are our feelings and if we own up to them and take responsibility for them we can move forward with them.

I've never had a Lit jealousy, although I have cared about someone here very much. I also know I'm not the right man for her and I respect her too much to want more than friendship.

So, when jealousy hits me or any other strong emotion I face it directly find out where it originates and ask myself why I am feeling that strongly and if its healthy for me to pursue it further. I can be jealous of an ability and it can allow me to push myself to excel in a new and unexplored ability. Or I can wallow that someone is faster on a confidence course than I am. And for me wallowing is for pigs.

When faced with challenges I usually ask if this will make me bitter or better. Better is what I want for myself and in those I hold close in my life.

My advice, find out where the feeling is coming from. Do you feel betrayed? Do you want more from someone? Have you been completely honest with them on your feelings? If not are you holding them to an unfair standard? Give yourself some credit that you are a good person and want to know what is causing the feelings. So explore them to the fullest and then decide on what to do next so that you are in a good place emotionally.

Just my opinion, won't buy you a cup of coffee. Hope it helps though.

 

[Aquagal]

Yeah! Where are the titties!

I lost my mojo.

 

[derek00003]

This is a perfect example ... Leigh and I said pretty much the same thing (in my eyes) yet you quoted her ... am I jealous that you quoted her or am I upset you quoted her and then I think ... did you quote her over me because she is a her?

There is a lot of redundant thinking to get back to the main topic: ME.

I don't think there is jealousy on here so much as 'what about me' syndrome.

I think this is really well put

 

[DayMaker]

I'm jealous of that tank top. But seriously, great points.

Tolyk and I thank you for the titties!

All kidding aside...That was well written and thoughtful.

LOL...I was thinking you were going to say she had 2 great points.

L

Oh good lord, I try to be serious for once and this is what it gets me.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I just saw this. Sometimes searching on my name in various forums can produce interesting results...

I don't post them everywhere!

One thing I will say in my personal experience meeting and befriending you is that I actually noticed your posts first before I saw your pics. Like we interacted on one of the threads and I thought it was cool you were into games and technology. Plus you're fun and sweet. Then a bit after I saw your pic threads and was like "Hey, AND she's hot. YUM." Lol So yeah I'm totally bad at stalking. Haha

 

[Mrtenant]

I think people are jealous of me that are in Lit, yes. So yea I guess I have it. Wow! Such an insightful FUN question for the PG.

Maybe we can follow this up in that other drama thread Dear Litster...