Love? Does it have to hurt?

[FantasySlut]

Again, not sure if this is the correct place, but here goes.....


If loves hurts, all the time, is it real? If you know you love someone, and it still hurts, is it real? Or is all of this just the process of being in love with someone? Or is the love suppose to outweigh the pain, and what if it doesn't?

What are your thoughts? How do you deal? Or do you?


FS

 

[virgin_not]

Love does not have to hurt but it often seems to. Love is such a strong positive emotion that it is inevitable that there will be some pain associated with it at some time. This is Nature's law of opposites. For every force there is an equal and opposite force to hold it in balance. As much as our love would soar as a bird on the air, there is gravity to bring it back to earth…sometimes falling but usually gliding.

The truth, however, is that love does not hurt but it is the falling out of love or not having love that really hurts. And the higher you are, such as in the heights of passion or the tower of a long-term love, the harder the fall.

 

[Recidiva]

I think with any intense emotion comes some negative aspects. Even if you're the happiest you've ever been, there might be lurking fear of losing it or wanting things to stay the same when you know they won't or can't...

I think love hurts because we always see how we want to see it, and want the most from it, sometimes selfishly, sometimes not so selfishly.

What kind of hurt do you mean?

 

[FantasySlut]

I see your point. The emotion love doesn't hurt....but, you can love someone so much that it feels like it does, correct? Maybe it's how things are in a particular relationship that makes it seem as if *love* is causing the pain. Maybe it's the expectations, the wants, needs, desires that you have for that person. And when it's not given back in return, then there is the hurt. Which can make one think it's *love* that is causing the pain. I don't know...........I guess if a relationship isn't healthy then the person needs to go on. And sometimes, a lot of time, the love you have for someone isn't enough anymore to stay. At times, the pain that you can go through, outweighs even the love you have for that person. Sometimes, too much is too much..........

But, how do you leave when you love so......

Bittersweet

Thanks for posting

 

[Recidiva]

I see your point. The emotion love doesn't hurt....but, you can love someone so much that it feels like it does, correct? Maybe it's how things are in a particular relationship that makes it seem as if *love* is causing the pain. Maybe it's the expectations, the wants, needs, desires that you have for that person. And when it's not given back in return, then there is the hurt. Which can make one think it's *love* that is causing the pain. I don't know...........I guess if a relationship isn't healthy then the person needs to go on. And sometimes, a lot of time, the love you have for someone isn't enough anymore to stay. At times, the pain that you can go through, outweighs even the love you have for that person. Sometimes, too much is too much..........

But, how do you leave when you love so......

Bittersweet

Thanks for posting

I completely understand, there's always an element of "if only" even in the best relationships.

But if it's really painful, leaving might be the healthiest thing.

Just the same way it's no good to keep going to a canteen and hoping there's water in it. No matter how beautiful the container, if there's nothing inside, it's empty, and you won't look for something else to sustain you.

 

[virgin_not]

I know where you coming from FS,been there.This what I've learned from my past relatonship.We all need two things in life 1. To not be alone or feel alone, and 2. To be appreciated and loved for whom we are. Love brings us together and loneliness reminds us that we are missing something in life. You may not even understand it but the forces are there. We seek fulfillment in the love of others when we often need to love ourselves just as much.

 

[silkynik]

Again, not sure if this is the correct place, but here goes.....


If loves hurts, all the time, is it real? If you know you love someone, and it still hurts, is it real? Or is all of this just the process of being in love with someone? Or is the love suppose to outweigh the pain, and what if it doesn't?

What are your thoughts? How do you deal? Or do you?


FS

It's real...It hurts...(but not necessarily every moment of the day or night...)

 

[Lady Reiha]

love is like a cheesnip

you open a new box
crinkle the plastic bag in excitement
you tear that damn plastic bag
you smell that cheesy goodness
you grab just one cheesenip
it tempts you with it's orangey cheesiness
you bring it to your lips
your tongue lingers on that salty goodness before you
take the plunge
and eat it
chewing away
every
last
crumb
unti....
you take another, and another..
then you go to grab another..
and you realize
you ate all the cheesnips..
your heart sinks because
you have to
1. buy a new box for 1.99
or
2. stare down at the empty box, sad, and crave for more.


I pick number 1.

 

[silkynik]

I have to agree (Lady Reiha)...has to be number 1 option!!!

(Although, been guilty of No' 2...for far too long!!!)

 

[Lady Reiha]

I have to agree (Lady Reiha)...has to be number 1 option!!!

(Although, been guilty of No' 2...for far too long!!!)

*nods stupidly*

It's the way of life I supose. *looks down at her half-empty box of cheesenips*
dammit!!

 

[silkynik]

Agreed *Doh*...We are what we are (sometimes stupid!!!)....


Looking desperately for a discount cheesenips store...any chance of a bulk discount???!!!

 

[Lady Reiha]

^_________^ yes!

 

[silkynik]

Oh goody...!!! (I think)

 

[FantasySlut]

I completely understand, there's always an element of "if only" even in the best relationships.

But if it's really painful, leaving might be the healthiest thing.

Just the same way it's no good to keep going to a canteen and hoping there's water in it. No matter how beautiful the container, if there's nothing inside, it's empty, and you won't look for something else to sustain you.

Ahhhhhh the *what if's* of life. If we had only known then what we know now.....that logic and continuious thought pattern will drive you over the edge. You are right Recidiva, you can't make someone act, do or say things just because you want them to. If it isn't there, it isn't. Sometimes it is there, but the effort isn't any longer.

 

[FantasySlut]

I know where you coming from FS,been there.This what I've learned from my past relatonship.We all need two things in life 1. To not be alone or feel alone, and 2. To be appreciated and loved for whom we are. Love brings us together and loneliness reminds us that we are missing something in life. You may not even understand it but the forces are there. We seek fulfillment in the love of others when we often need to love ourselves just as much.

At times VN, even when you are with someone, and that person is there with you, you can still feel like you are the only person in the world. The loneliness between two people can be as bad as the alone you feel when you are by yourself. Sometimes, worse.

Loving thyself....how many people can actually say that they do, and mean it?

 

[FantasySlut]

It's real...It hurts...(but not necessarily every moment of the day or night...)

Sometimes feels like it though, doesn't it silky

 

[FantasySlut]

love is like a cheesnip

you open a new box
crinkle the plastic bag in excitement
you tear that damn plastic bag
you smell that cheesy goodness
you grab just one cheesenip
it tempts you with it's orangey cheesiness
you bring it to your lips
your tongue lingers on that salty goodness before you
take the plunge
and eat it
chewing away
every
last
crumb
unti....
you take another, and another..
then you go to grab another..
and you realize
you ate all the cheesnips..
your heart sinks because
you have to
1. buy a new box for 1.99
or
2. stare down at the empty box, sad, and crave for more.


I pick number 1.

Today, would pick #1.....tomorrow it will be #1.....lol......Even this evening will be #1........Good analogy thought, thanks Lady R....and to everyone else that has posted.

 

[Missingmeds]

At times VN, even when you are with someone, and that person is there with you, you can still feel like you are the only person in the world. The loneliness between two people can be as bad as the alone you feel when you are by yourself. Sometimes, worse.

Loving thyself....how many people can actually say that they do, and mean it?

I can say that I love me and totally mean it. But then I am one of those people that tend to see something about me that I don't like and change it in short order or at least work at changing that aspect of me. I am prefectly content to do what it takes to be the best me I can be. Not because of anyone else, but because of me.

Because of who I am and the fact that I am honest not only with other people, but with myself, I found a love that I was in no way looking for. I am more happy and content than I would have ever thought it was possible for me to be.

 

[FantasySlut]

I can say that I love me and totally mean it. But then I am one of those people that tend to see something about me that I don't like and change it in short order or at least work at changing that aspect of me. I am prefectly content to do what it takes to be the best me I can be. Not because of anyone else, but because of me.

Because of who I am and the fact that I am honest not only with other people, but with myself, I found a love that I was in no way looking for. I am more happy and content than I would have ever thought it was possible for me to be.

Although I don't know you, I am happy for you and the love you say you have found. Cherish it, nurture it, always. Takes work to make a go of it and to keep it alive. If you have trust and loyalty, anything is possible. Oh and the love too....

We all know that it doesn't work to change yourelf for someone else. I've always felt that a person needs to be accepted for who/how they are. There may be some things a person can work on here and there, but for the most part......Love me for me, and not for someone you want me to be....

 

[sh24dai]

We all know that it doesn't work to change yourelf for someone else. I've always felt that a person needs to be accepted for who/how they are. There may be some things a person can work on here and there, but for the most part......Love me for me, and not for someone you want me to be....

I couldn't agree more. It's a shame more people don't have this same thought process. Isn't the whole idea of falling in love with someone supposed to be about who they are, and not who you wish they were? Seems like some folks didn't get that memo.

 

[Wyldfire]

Although I don't know you, I am happy for you and the love you say you have found. Cherish it, nurture it, always. Takes work to make a go of it and to keep it alive. If you have trust and loyalty, anything is possible. Oh and the love too....

We all know that it doesn't work to change yourelf for someone else. I've always felt that a person needs to be accepted for who/how they are. There may be some things a person can work on here and there, but for the most part......Love me for me, and not for someone you want me to be....

Trust an Loyalty is always a two way street. Ya c'n be as trustin an loyal as ya c'n be but if there's any reason fer doubt a yer partner then yer trust is a lie. Trust me I been there done tha an th bitch tha I trusted as hard as I could was fuckin round wit another woman's man b'hind my back. Makes me damned glad I cut th bitch loose. Jus wish she hadn't clutched harder ta th guy she was bein dishonest on me with.

I also agree tha ya can't change yerself fer someone else, but as Meds pointed out, if SHE sees somethin in herself she don like she works ta change it fer herself.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Trust an Loyalty is always a two way street. Ya c'n be as trustin an loyal as ya c'n be but if there's any reason fer doubt a yer partner then yer trust is a lie. Trust me I been there done tha an th bitch tha I trusted as hard as I could was fuckin round wit another woman's man b'hind my back. Makes me damned glad I cut th bitch loose. Jus wish she hadn't clutched harder ta th guy she was bein dishonest on me with.

I also agree tha ya can't change yerself fer someone else, but as Meds pointed out, if SHE sees somethin in herself she don like she works ta change it fer herself.

I agree with Wyld. Love doesn;t have to hurt. I think th biggest thing to remember is that love is more of an action than a feeling. Love takes work. Love takes an equal effort from both sides.

 

[Wyldfire]

I agree with Wyld. Love doesn;t have to hurt. I think th biggest thing to remember is that love is more of an action than a feeling. Love takes work. Love takes an equal effort from both sides.

Ta be honest it's both an action an a feelin Azulsweetie........... Sorta like masturbation. See th feelin a pleasure as love an th fingerin as th effort made ta continue th feelin. If ya let yerself get distracted even by maybe say touchin another parta yerself it taints th original feelin a pleasure. It might still feel good at th moment but it ain't th same feelin.......... An sometimes it c'n end th original feelin a pleasure.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Ta be honest it's both an action an a feelin Azulsweetie........... Sorta like masturbation. See th feelin a pleasure as love an th fingerin as th effort made ta continue th feelin. If ya let yerself get distracted even by maybe say touchin another parta yerself it taints th original feelin a pleasure. It might still feel good at th moment but it ain't th same feelin.......... An sometimes it c'n end th original feelin a pleasure.

And sometimes the feeling can be amplified as well as diminished depending on the circumstances. Watching a beautiful woman,(as yourself) can magnify the experience when masturbting as much as the sight of something gross or an interuption can diminish it. So is love in a way because things such as distance and lack of communication can make the feelings decline. That's where most of the pain comes from in my opinion.
When it comes to love, there is a difference between the butterflies in the stomach feeling and the action shown when you take the time to get to know the one you love and share yourself with them. I love my so, but the love isn;t the same feeling i had when I first loved her. It had been tempered by the adversities and circumstances that has shaped our times together so it is almost entirely different than it was initially. I still feel pain sometimes, but only because I love her so much and share in her sufferings and sadness.

 

[Wyldfire]

And sometimes the feeling can be amplified as well as diminished depending on the circumstances. Watching a beautiful woman,(as yourself) can magnify the experience when masturbting as much as the sight of something gross or an interuption can diminish it. So is love in a way because things such as distance and lack of communication can make the feelings decline. That's where most of the pain comes from in my opinion.
When it comes to love, there is a difference between the butterflies in the stomach feeling and the action shown when you take the time to get to know the one you love and share yourself with them. I love my so, but the love isn;t the same feeling i had when I first loved her. It had been tempered by the adversities and circumstances that has shaped our times together so it is almost entirely different than it was initially. I still feel pain sometimes, but only because I love her so much and share in her sufferings and sadness.

In my experiences ta be honest, I've only cut one love off myself an tha was a tainted love.......... An ta keep th analogy I was usin goin yer right watchin a beauty c'n enhance th feelin..........