Love? Does it have to hurt?

[virgin_not]

At times VN, even when you are with someone, and that person is there with you, you can still feel like you are the only person in the world. The loneliness between two people can be as bad as the alone you feel when you are by yourself. Sometimes, worse.

Loving thyself....how many people can actually say that they do, and mean it?

I have made the analogy that, if you keep giving to others without giving to yourself, it is like pouring water from a vessel. If you pour and pour without ever refilling it, eventually, it will run dry. How can you expect someone else to love you unconditionally if you can't accept and love yourself the way you are? Yet we have this tendency to think that love from others is what validates us. No, it's the love you give yourself. The more love you give yourself the more you give to the world. It's all connected, we are all one.

 

[FantasySlut]

I couldn't agree more. It's a shame more people don't have this same thought process. Isn't the whole idea of falling in love with someone supposed to be about who they are, and not who you wish they were? Seems like some folks didn't get that memo.

You're right.....sometimes it seems it takes a whole lifetime before that gets through to someone.

 

[FantasySlut]

Trust an Loyalty is always a two way street. Ya c'n be as trustin an loyal as ya c'n be but if there's any reason fer doubt a yer partner then yer trust is a lie. Trust me I been there done tha an th bitch tha I trusted as hard as I could was fuckin round wit another woman's man b'hind my back. Makes me damned glad I cut th bitch loose. Jus wish she hadn't clutched harder ta th guy she was bein dishonest on me with.

I also agree tha ya can't change yerself fer someone else, but as Meds pointed out, if SHE sees somethin in herself she don like she works ta change it fer herself.

Exactly Wyld....Trust and loyalty, once its gone....all seems lost....true, some can work through it and sometimes they come out for the better. But it takes a lot of work and committment on both parts

 

[FantasySlut]

And sometimes the feeling can be amplified as well as diminished depending on the circumstances. Watching a beautiful woman,(as yourself) can magnify the experience when masturbting as much as the sight of something gross or an interuption can diminish it. So is love in a way because things such as distance and lack of communication can make the feelings decline. That's where most of the pain comes from in my opinion.
When it comes to love, there is a difference between the butterflies in the stomach feeling and the action shown when you take the time to get to know the one you love and share yourself with them. I love my so, but the love isn;t the same feeling i had when I first loved her. It had been tempered by the adversities and circumstances that has shaped our times together so it is almost entirely different than it was initially. I still feel pain sometimes, but only because I love her so much and share in her sufferings and sadness.

*It had been tempered by the adversities and circumstances that has shaped our times together so*

So true Az.....a very nicely said. Bottom line, it all takes work. You have to want it to work, and you have to want to be with that person. You can still love your s/o, but there are situations to where you aren't *in love* with them any longer. Sad, but true. One day at a time is all anyone can do.