LOVE..love....luv....

[Liar]

On unreciprocated love:

I talked with a lady friend of mine yesterday. She was all happy and giddy, in an almost annoyingly good mood. So I finally managed to pry out of her what it was all about.

She had recently fallen in love. Big time. Head over heels and all that. But... the guy she had fallen for was friendly, flattered, but completely uninterrested, and happily engaged to another woman.

"But then what are you so damn happy about?" I asked. "That sounds terrible."

"Don't you get it?" was her reply. "I've never really been in love before. Now I know that I can."



In some twisted way, that makes perfect sense to me. That insight might be worth a little heartache.

#L

 

[minsue]

Liar, that's beautiful.

I, myself, have always wondered about those who seem to have more difficulty falling in love. I was thinking about it earlier, after reading RGraham's post. What is it that makes some, like myself, fall in love so easily and others not? Or, more likely(?), some label an emotional state 'love' that others would call affection, tenderness, etc, but not love?

I've loved many. I still do and I likely will fall in love many, many more times in my life, though I often wish I wouldn't. I do not feel like this fact takes away from love and all of its importance and meaning for me. Do I actually love more than easily than others or am I just more quick to label my feelings as such? Maybe my standards are lower?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

The capacity to feel love, give love and be loved makes us human, and what a wonderful gift to be given.

Thank you posters for sharing.
~A~

 

[Guest]

Liar, that's beautiful.

I, myself, have always wondered about those who seem to have more difficulty falling in love. I was thinking about it earlier, after reading RGraham's post. What is it that makes some, like myself, fall in love so easily and others not? Or, more likely(?), some label an emotional state 'love' that others would call affection, tenderness, etc, but not love?

I've loved many. I still do and I likely will fall in love many, many more times in my life, though I often wish I wouldn't. I do not feel like this fact takes away from love and all of its importance and meaning for me. Do I actually love more than easily than others or am I just more quick to label my feelings as such? Maybe my standards are lower?

Mindy, I'm a lot like you, but I don't feel my actual standards of being in love are lower than anyone else's.

My love is hard, honest and true and it often takes my breath away and makes my stomach hurt. I also get very teary when I think of who I love.

Yes, I am a soppy cow, and I do wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don't think that's a bad thing.

Lou

 

[Liar]

Yes, I am a soppy cow, and I do wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don't think that's a bad thing.

Not in the slightest. Too few dare to. Be all the cow you can be.

 

[Guest]

Not in the slightest. Too few dare to. Be all the cow you can be.

Moo!

But, seriously, I often wonder if it freaks some people out. I love to tell those I love that I do love them... but it's rare that's reciprocated (except by my girls). However, that still doesn't put me off telling those special people in my life, and I always mean it. I often get this odd, overwhelming urge to just scream out, "I love you!" It's almost as if there is a massive force inside me.

One man who has never, not once, told me he loves me is my Dad. I live for the day he does.

Lou

 

[minsue]

Moo!

But, seriously, I often wonder if it freaks some people out. I love to tell those I love that I do love them... but it's rare that's reciprocated (except by my girls). However, that still doesn't put me off telling those special people in my life, and I always mean it. I often get this odd, overwhelming urge to just scream out, "I love you!" It's almost as if there is a massive force inside me.

One man who has never, not once, told me he loves me is my Dad. I live for the day he does.

Lou

Aw, Lou. You've made me get all teary here.

You reminded me of the song The Greatest Man I Never Knew. I don't know who wrote it, but I know Reba McEntire sings at least one version of it.

He never said he loved me
Guess he thought I knew

My grandmother never ever told me she loved me until about 2 years ago. It freaked me out. She has Parkinsons which long ago advanced to the point where she can't care for herself. She has strokes often. When she told me she loved me it was all I could do to keep from losing it right then and there. For me, it meant she knew she was dying.

I am glad to know I'm not the only one with that constant need to tell those I love that I love them. I like the way you worded it. It is like a massive force inside.

- Mindy

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I am glad to know I'm not the only one with that constant need to tell those I love that I love them. I like the way you worded it. It is like a massive force inside.

- Mindy

My family was never one for using the "L" word, it was more of an understanding. My mom was very sick over the past few months and we thought she would'nt make it past New Year's. I made it a point to say I love you to her and my dad and sis.
I tell me kids everyday I love them and will love them even when I am angry with them. I tell friends I love them because you never know when you will see them again.
It's a powerful phrase and so easy to say at times.

Did I mention that I love you guys here?

 

[Liar]

One man who has never, not once, told me he loves me is my Dad. I live for the day he does.

Lou

I think it is kind of a cultural thing. Or a language thing. But people who love eachother here in Sweden are much more restictive with telling that straight out than brits or even moreso americans. I think there is a heavier connotation on the word love as being of the romantic kind, between lovers and spouses.

I love my parents, my brother and sisters, and a few close friends. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. But we don't use those words. We show love in our actions every day, by calling, caring, stopping by, helping out, supporting and sharing both laugher and tears. But you know, the only people I have told that I love (as in "I love you") is those who I have been IN love with.

And those I can count on my two thumbs. I don't fall in love very easily. But when I do, I do.

#L

 

[NoJo]

I think the point is that the child needs to hear it from the parent, or be doomed to seek those words for ever after.

 

[rgraham666]

I overstated my case somewhat.

I have been in love. My ex-wife for a very short while. And there have been a couple of women I've met in the past couple of years where there is the potentiality for love.

I do love my mom and sister and a couple of good friends.

Unfortunately, I have two major problems.

The first came from when I was growing up. We learn a great deal about courtship, flirting and all the stuff that leads up to love in high school and our teen years. I was at the bottom of the social castes that teenagers form. This meant few opportunities, and more importantly, no successes to learn from. With such a bad start I am running quite a number of laps behind.

The other problem is what I term social dyslexia. My brain doesn't seem to pick up on the myriad and subtle methods that humans use to communicate with others. And often, when these things are pointed out to me, they make no sense to my mind.

Between these two problems, me finding love is like running a marathon with a 10 kilo weight on each leg.

Moving through life with these handicaps is very tiring. I haven't given up on the idea of love, I just no longer expect it.

That will change. Ten years ago I was so tired I found myself hanging from my own belt. And yet here I am, still in the game.

 

[fifty5]

But if you were to write about it, how would you approach it?
How do you describe that feeling? Is is really that hard to do?
~A~

I looked at her av.

Sexy, but beautiful in a purely aesthetic way too...

I read her posts.

Quick and witty - even catty; but many others were caring - stroking the egos of those to whom she replied.

I chuckled at her humour, drooled over that av - and then she changed it!  Anger flared!  How dare she take down that icon of beauty?

But while the new one - two - three - didn't make me catch my breath, I suddenly found myself laughing at the visual wit.

Eventually, I summoned up the nerve to send a PM.

She replied.  With sensible caution, but friendly encouragement.

I know she has a partner.

I know she lives in my country - and she's trusted me with the name of the town in which she lives.

I want to drive there.

I want to drive there now - arriving in time for breakfast...

I want her to welcome me - and I want her partner to welcome me too.  I want them both to trust me.

And if that's all that happens, well, I'll still be the richer for the experience.  When I drive home again, I'll be glad that I went - for nothing.

And I'll still look at that av - whenever she puts it up again -

And I'll still love her.

 

[SadieRose]

Love is when you see through all the artifice and deception to the real being beneath and all you feel is a warmth and tenderness and the urge to protect them when others don't see so clearly or even try to understand.

Love is when they're not around and you miss the evil, irritating things they do like talking when you try to read the newspaper or watch something you're interested in, then get bored and go off someplace once its over leaving you to fume. Then when you're alone, you can't read the paper or concentrate on the TV anyway because you're thinking of them.

Love is when you really can't be bothered to put on your slippers at two in the morning and go wake him 'cos he's fallen asleep on the sofa. It's cold out there and warm in bed, but you can't settle there alone.

Love is taking all the crap from parents and friends who wonder why you never got yourself a man to take care of you because you know in your heart that it's only what THEY want. You've got what YOU want, and he's here with you even though he'll never be big or strong or rich or famous or any of the things they set such store in.

Love is putting your dreams on hold for his because they're attainable and knowing that one day he'll do the same for you.

Love is knowing and trusting in your heart, even when you don't know logically with your brain what he's up to or where he is. It is laying yourself open to the possibility of pain and betrayal every day. And reaping the bounteous rewards when it all comes right.


"When you gonna make up your mind?
When you gonna love you as much as I do?
When you gonna make up your mind?
Cause things are gonna change so fast
and all the white horses have gone ahead.
I tell you that I'll always want you near.
You say that things change, my dear." Tori Amos (1994)

 

[fifty5]

LLove is putting your dreams on hold for his because they're attainable and knowing that one day he'll do the same for you.

Thanks for saying that, Sadie.  We both have - and we both know that it means love.

It's still good to hear that coming from outside.

f5

 

[spiderman09]

Love is not supposed to hurt, right?

Love is not supposed to break your heart, right?

Love is supposed to make you happy, rght?

LOVE.....a feeling that we all want...we all need...we all look for...love makes your heart pound, your mouth dry, your body quake...

LOVE.....a feeling that we all hate....we all curse...we all turn our heads from....love makes your heart break, your mouth fown, your body curl into a ball....


"Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons from coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. " --Kent Nerburn

Love is wonderful, but love can also be scary... when you love someone you think about that person, you get butterflies in your stomach when you talk to her or him, you wonder about what the person is doing, you wonder if that person would love you and accept you for who you are, for how you look, for what you have....but love is frightning, with love all you can think is about her...and when you walk in the mall or in the streets you wonder if you would see her, if she would come to you or you would go to her.... and hug her, kiss her and tell her how much you really care about her and love her....

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I looked at her av.

Sexy, but beautiful in a purely aesthetic way too...

I read her posts.

Quick and witty - even catty; but many others were caring - stroking the egos of those to whom she replied.

I chuckled at her humour, drooled over that av - and then she changed it!  Anger flared!  How dare she take down that icon of beauty?

But while the new one - two - three - didn't make me catch my breath, I suddenly found myself laughing at the visual wit.

Eventually, I summoned up the nerve to send a PM.

She replied.  With sensible caution, but friendly encouragement.

I know she has a partner.

I know she lives in my country - and she's trusted me with the name of the town in which she lives.

I want to drive there.

I want to drive there now - arriving in time for breakfast...

I want her to welcome me - and I want her partner to welcome me too.  I want them both to trust me.

And if that's all that happens, well, I'll still be the richer for the experience.  When I drive home again, I'll be glad that I went - for nothing.

And I'll still look at that av - whenever she puts it up again -

And I'll still love her.

Fabulous. The intense drive of love.
thank you, ~A~

 

[damppanties]

Love is taking all the crap from parents and friends who wonder why you never got yourself a man to take care of you because you know in your heart that it's only what THEY want. You've got what YOU want, and he's here with you even though he'll never be big or strong or rich or famous or any of the things they set such store in.

Love is trying to do what the parents want because you love them and you know that they love you and they would want (what they think is) the best for you? Trying to be the perfect daughter, trying to give them some hapiness, whatever you can... ?

I, myself, have always wondered about those who seem to have more difficulty falling in love. I was thinking about it earlier, after reading RGraham's post. What is it that makes some, like myself, fall in love so easily and others not? Or, more likely(?), some label an emotional state 'love' that others would call affection, tenderness, etc, but not love?

I've loved many. I still do and I likely will fall in love many, many more times in my life, though I often wish I wouldn't. I do not feel like this fact takes away from love and all of its importance and meaning for me. Do I actually love more than easily than others or am I just more quick to label my feelings as such? Maybe my standards are lower?

Min, you're not afraid to fall in love. People who seem to have difficulty in falling in love may not be as secure, as in love with themselves and as honest and accepting of the bits and pieces which come with loving truly.

People who have trouble falling in love do not allow themselves to fall in love.

and yet no tales of unrequited love...

No pain and misery brought on by love?

Just playing Devil's advocate.

~A~

You want some?

What good are tales?

 

[damppanties]

We all sort of understand on this thread that loving your parents, children, even teddy bears and cholocates are not "on topic". But why? What's the missing element that makes all those kinds of love different from the "love" of this topic?

Is it just Sex?

Yes, it's sex but there's nothing 'just' about sex. If it is sex with the one you love, then it is so much more. It is physically, intimately the closest you can get to a person. Yes, that is an added dimension to the love you give to parents, children, teddy bears.

Can't explain my thoughts more than that.

ps. chocolate?

 

[Guest]

I think the point is that the child needs to hear it from the parent, or be doomed to seek those words for ever after.

Joe, that is precisely it.

I tell my girls often, probably several times a day. I just dropped them off at school and, while I'm glad to have some time to myself, I am going to miss them today. It made my heart happy to see them happily run into school, shouting back at me, "Love you, Mummy," as they went in through the doors.

The love I feel for my children is so intense, I couldn't even begin to put it into words. And, at the same time, when I look to my own parents, I know they must love me. I just need that one hug from my Dad and those three little words, and I know I'd look at things differently. I'd probably stop searching.

This is why love, in whatever form, can be so joyous, yet so painful, all in the same moment.

Lou

 

[Liar]

Joe, that is precisely it.

I tell my girls often, probably several times a day. I just dropped them off at school and, while I'm glad to have some time to myself, I am going to miss them today. It made my heart happy to see them happily run into school, shouting back at me, "Love you, Mummy," as they went in through the doors.

The love I feel for my children is so intense, I couldn't even begin to put it into words. And, at the same time, when I look to my own parents, I know they must love me. I just need that one hug from my Dad and those three little words, and I know I'd look at things differently. I'd probably stop searching.

This is why love, in whatever form, can be so joyous, yet so painful, all in the same moment.

Lou

No offense intended, and just for the sake of argument, are you not afraid to wear "I love you" out? It is, to me at least, a very strong expression, with earth shattering impact. I know you probably mean it every time you say it and that your kids do too. But doesn't the habitual use of such a statement jade the impact of it? Or do you need that costant reminder to be sure that you love and is loved?

This question might not make any sense to you. I asked the same thing to a firend of mine once, and got a look as if I was an alien speaking in riddles. But when I hear those words between parents and kids, or between spouses, they sound more like a routine phrase than something as profound as it should be. I'm not saying that that is the case for you, bt it is quite common.

When someone says those words to me, they carry such power that I can barely function for several minutes.

#L

 

[raphy]

Gosh, what an emotional thread

Love, love, love... That bane of the human heart - It can be an ally, a friend and an enemy all at the same time. Why do you think love songs are the most popular songs in the world. Unrequited love, successful love, wrong decisions in love, choices you regret, choices that you can't make because they're so tough.. The list of categories and types of emotional pain concerned with love is endless.

As for 'I love you' - It's a phrase. It's a set of words. It's no different to saying 'Hi, how are you?'

It doesn't matter how often you say 'Hello'.. If you truly mean it, and you're truly happy to run into that person, it will show through every single time you say it - And people say hello a lot more often than they say 'I love you'

In love? Well, I think it's pretty obvious that I'm in love - And I don't think I've ever truly been in love before. Most of you already know how guarded I am about my emotions and what a tight rein of control I hold over them. Falling in love was one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. Up until now, my outlet for my emotions was through song, the songs I wrote, the songs I sang.

I used to say that while it may be true that no man is an island, some of us do a pretty damn good impersonation of a peninsula. I didn't have a hard time falling in love because I was insecure, or any of those reasons. I was the opposite. I had a hard time falling in love because I was *so* secure in myself. I didn't need anyone else. I was a whole person, not half a person. I was never lonely, I never missed anyone, not my parents, not my sister, not my friends when they were away. No one.

I had a perfectly good and fulfilling relationship with someone - Me. I was good company for myself. I enjoyed my own company. And maybe I needed to get to that point of emotional development in order to be ready for love. If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? More importantly, if you don't love yourself, how can you let someone else love you?

And, presuming on your patience here, I'm going to leave you with a few snippets of songs I've written on the subject of love.

They say the story's as it's told, but nothing's as it seems
'Cause I'm only a joker, and baby, you're the Queen
And 'cause you haven't got a King, a poor fool gets to dream
But did you ever think to tell this Jester what you mean?

...

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that when I think of you
I feel so helpless, 'cause there's nothing I can do
And all the angels in heaven can't make you love me more
So I'll walk away, 'cause I can't bear to be without you

...

And you tell me that you miss me, but there's nothing more to say
'Cause you knew what I was thinking when I let you walk away

...

Sometimes it's hard to choose which road to take
Sometimes it's hard to know which heart to break
Sometimes it's hard to tell the real from the fake

...

Don't chase shadows, don't look for things that just aren't there
It doesn't matter, how much you seem to care
'Cause there could never be no more than just that spark
And you'll find you're chasing shadows in the dark

Every single one of those songs has a story behind it, and a woman who was the cause of it.

But I think the best lyric I've ever heard about unrequited love was written by a friend of mine.


You don't have to shout
I can hear you loud and clear
You can have the best of me
And then I'll disappear

If we only knew the truth
If we didn't have to hide
If our choices weren't so hard
And it didn't hurt inside

And so I dream of you
But you don't come true
But I still dream of you
And you don't come true

She was more than just a moment
Those times you lose your head
She came raining down on me
Repeating all those words I'd said

She was perfectly contained
Unobtainable and pure
Like all those crazy people
Who don't want to be adored


p.s. Liar - I can understand your friend's position *completely*, believe me. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that you're human.

 

[fifty5]

Fabulous.

Blush...

f5

 

[Guest]

Blush...

f5

Don't blush, honey. It was fabulous. I told you exactly what I thought of what you'd written in a PM.

Lou

 

[Guest]

I think my own, one and only, erotic poem here at Lit demonstrates the depth and intensity of real/true/sexual love I feel for someone. Yes, it's deep, and it's hard hitting, but, that's love!

You Own Me

I yearn for you.
I crave you.
You fill my waking thoughts.
You are my dreams.
You own me.

Your strength is my weakness.
Your passion my fire.
Your words my trigger.
Your touch my charge.
You own me.

I surrender my all to you,
My body,
My mind,
My soul.
You own me.

I am your possession.
One command from you, I melt.
In complete union, we fuse.
You absorb me, completely.
You own me.

I am mine to give; yours to take.
I serve you.
I want you.
I need you.
You own me

I give you my will,
You take it.
I give you my body,
You use it.
You own me.

You order me,
“Get your ass in the air,”
You spank me,
You humiliate me.
You own me.

You whip me,
Bind me,
Bite me.
Punish me.
You own me.

You tell me,
“Come, you bitch.”
I come for you.
Only for you,
You own me.

You tie my body,
And release my soul.
You fuck me hard,
And take me.
You own me

I am yours,
Your possession,
Your gift.
Use me well, my love.
You own me now.

Lou

 

[Honey123]

Gosh, what an emotional thread

Love, love, love... That bane of the human heart - It can be an ally, a friend and an enemy all at the same time. Why do you think love songs are the most popular songs in the world. Unrequited love, successful love, wrong decisions in love, choices you regret, choices that you can't make because they're so tough.. The list of categories and types of emotional pain concerned with love is endless.

As for 'I love you' - It's a phrase. It's a set of words. It's no different to saying 'Hi, how are you?'

It doesn't matter how often you say 'Hello'.. If you truly mean it, and you're truly happy to run into that person, it will show through every single time you say it - And people say hello a lot more often than they say 'I love you'

In love? Well, I think it's pretty obvious that I'm in love - And I don't think I've ever truly been in love before. Most of you already know how guarded I am about my emotions and what a tight rein of control I hold over them. Falling in love was one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. Up until now, my outlet for my emotions was through song, the songs I wrote, the songs I sang.

I used to say that while it may be true that no man is an island, some of us do a pretty damn good impersonation of a peninsula. I didn't have a hard time falling in love because I was insecure, or any of those reasons. I was the opposite. I had a hard time falling in love because I was *so* secure in myself. I didn't need anyone else. I was a whole person, not half a person. I was never lonely, I never missed anyone, not my parents, not my sister, not my friends when they were away. No one.

I had a perfectly good and fulfilling relationship with someone - Me. I was good company for myself. I enjoyed my own company. And maybe I needed to get to that point of emotional development in order to be ready for love. If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? More importantly, if you don't love yourself, how can you let someone else love you?

And, presuming on your patience here, I'm going to leave you with a few snippets of songs I've written on the subject of love.

They say the story's as it's told, but nothing's as it seems
'Cause I'm only a joker, and baby, you're the Queen
And 'cause you haven't got a King, a poor fool gets to dream
But did you ever think to tell this Jester what you mean?

...

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that when I think of you
I feel so helpless, 'cause there's nothing I can do
And all the angels in heaven can't make you love me more
So I'll walk away, 'cause I can't bear to be without you

...

And you tell me that you miss me, but there's nothing more to say
'Cause you knew what I was thinking when I let you walk away

...

Sometimes it's hard to choose which road to take
Sometimes it's hard to know which heart to break
Sometimes it's hard to tell the real from the fake

...

Don't chase shadows, don't look for things that just aren't there
It doesn't matter, how much you seem to care
'Cause there could never be no more than just that spark
And you'll find you're chasing shadows in the dark

Every single one of those songs has a story behind it, and a woman who was the cause of it.

But I think the best lyric I've ever heard about unrequited love was written by a friend of mine.


You don't have to shout
I can hear you loud and clear
You can have the best of me
And then I'll disappear

If we only knew the truth
If we didn't have to hide
If our choices weren't so hard
And it didn't hurt inside

And so I dream of you
But you don't come true
But I still dream of you
And you don't come true

She was more than just a moment
Those times you lose your head
She came raining down on me
Repeating all those words I'd said

She was perfectly contained
Unobtainable and pure
Like all those crazy people
Who don't want to be adored


p.s. Liar - I can understand your friend's position *completely*, believe me. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that you're human.

RAPHY,

I think what you say here is beautiful.
It word of those two songs made me feel wonderful and sad. I have a lump in my throat and a pain in my stomach.....but, it's ok, because I know I feel and I have felt that love and it was handed back to me one time...but I put it out there. I put myself on the line.....You can't make another person love you no matter how much you try.