Loving those who are in transition

[Stella_Omega]

As has oft been said......why bother with the titles & labels.

And every time its been said, someone has pointed out that people DO bother with labels because people need to be able to define themselves.

it's one of those "why ask why" things.

I'm thrilled to see serious topics here again....although I enjoy much of the non-serious content that was here....I do have a brain and would like it to grow

yes, it seems a far richer mix. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.

I happen to think that calling oneself "queer" is a good choice when you mean "well, we used to be straight and someday we'll be gay but right now we neither of us know who's on top a day in advance!"

(or vice versey, of course)

 

[blade_rocknut]

And every time its been said, someone has pointed out that people DO bother with labels because people need to be able to define themselves.

it's one of those "why ask why" things.


yes, it seems a far richer mix. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.

I happen to think that calling oneself "queer" is a good choice when you mean "well, we used to be straight and someday we'll be gay but right now we neither of us know who's on top a day in advance!"

(or vice versey, of course)

I gotta remember to think things all the way through when I post around you.... Good point, though. I just don't bother; personally. In my situation, if I were to try and explain myself to my friends & family.....I don't think linguistics would matter much. I guess I DO understand others' need to identify...I've just always been a loner, mostly; hence little concern.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'd rather label myself quick, before some one labels me in a way I don't want.

 

[CJontherocks]

I'd rather label myself quick, before some one labels me in a way I don't want.

I have a label for you, Stella. Human.

I must say, I do also like that I was able to open up the forum and see a thought-provoking and intellectually stimulating conversation in here. I may just become a regular customer again.

As far as my two cents worth on the question, I'm just not convinced that one's sexual identity changes with the person they're with. I think sexual identity and sexual preference can be two different things. And there are some variables here, too. A man in a relationship with a woman he knows wants to be a man might be in the relationship for that very reason, or might merely be willing to continue the relationship with her as a man because he just digs her that much. I don't understand why, but I feel like a man with a man who wants to be a woman would be a different situation. Still some sexuality biases running around in my head, apparently. Am I wrong to think gay people are (from what I've experienced/seen/heard) more committed to their sexuality than straight people?

I'll just be glad when we've all accepted bisexuality as the true nature of humanity. Then we won't have to think so hard about it.

 

[lustatopia]

We have to accept that in today's heterosexual society any level of homosexual activity renders one queer. This isn't so true for women, where college girls can make out with each other at least in part to arouse potential male sexual partners with little effect on their standing in the heterosexual community. However, imagine two guys tongue-kissing to arouse the attention of females at a party. Doesn't happen, unless the boys are coming out as bisexuals.

This is why bisexual males - no matter how deeply buried in the closet - deserve the inclusive and empathetic hand of the GLBT community reaching out for them without regard to the moral courageousness, or lack thereof, in their current situation. No doubt people in sexual transitions of any kind are likely to put others around them in less than healthy or fair situations. But that's not the standard for admission into the GLBT community.

Yet, on other threads, stalwart members of the GLBT have attacked those in precarious sexual transitions as being merely heterosexuals with abusive fetish problems. Imagine being a bisexual guy just realizing your true sexual nature, knowing full well that a single queer fantasy excludes you from membership in het company, but upon approaching the GLBT community you're told that you're just het with a ridiculous fetish. Go away.

All levels of queerdom must be included under the big roomy, loving, empathetic tent of GLBT, from the guilt-ridden totally suppressed Christian who can't understand why he had a homosexual wet dream to polyamorous swingers, to the flaming transexual queens and S&M dykes.

We're all in this together.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have some sad news for you; there is no hallmark card rainbow community amongst the GLBT. There are a number of minorities who have one single thing in common; they don't fit the percieved norm. That's it. It's as if you're trying to force triangles and circles and hexagons into the same box-- all because they aren't squares. Insisting that all GLBT folk must love and accept each other is a surefire recipe for disaster and dismay and disappointment and many other disses.

Just saying.

A man in a relationship with a woman he knows wants to be a man might be in the relationship for that very reason, or might merely be willing to continue the relationship with her as a man because he just digs her that much.

Thus far, my experience is that a man who continues in that relationship does so because he can still percieve her as a woman despite everything she says-- until s/he mentions top surgery, and then oh boy watch out. "If I wanted to live with a man I would have. I'm not gay. Who the hell am I living with?"

"The very same person you've been living with all these years. Who, right now, is wondering why the fuck they stuck with you."

I'll just be glad when we've all accepted bisexuality as the true nature of humanity. Then we won't have to think so hard about it.

Or anyway, as the basic nature, with variations on one or the other side... yeah.

 

[lustatopia]

I have some sad news for you; there is no hallmark card rainbow community amongst the GLBT. There are a number of minorities who have one single thing in common; they don't fit the percieved norm. That's it. It's as if you're trying to force triangles and circles and hexagons into the same box-- all because they aren't squares. Insisting that all GLBT folk must love and accept each other is a surefire recipe for disaster and dismay and disappointment and many other disses.

Just saying..

Good point, Stella.

Some human beings will discriminate, stereotype and erect barriers for entry to others regardless of the social injustice hurdles they themselves had to endure to achieve their own freedom.

I was just saying that we can at least hope for better than that. Maybe I'll see you at the next gay pride parade.

Cheers, mate.