Loving Wives

[lc69hunter]

Spoken by a man, about women, so, you know, you ain't all that unbiased.

Good response. However, in response to your detailed post about affairs, that is why I do not like, and have never liked affairs. Affairs cause feelings, and feelings start fracturing that so important bond between a husband and wife, and no one should ever want that

 

[WCSGarland]

Good response. However, in response to your detailed post about affairs, that is why I do not like, and have never liked affairs. Affairs cause feelings, and feelings start fracturing that so important bond between a husband and wife, and no one should ever want that

Affairs aren't the only thing that do that. There are quite a few other actions that cause the same effect without the physical aspects of intimacy with another outside of marriage. The thing to realize, and it is sad that not a lot of people realize it, is that marriage can survive adultery.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Really, you get that out of those stats? Despite the tropes, most affairs by women are because of emotional infidelity by their partner. ...

How do you get that out of those stats?

In my experience, the women I've known who had extra-marital sex do so due because their sex drives are no longer in-sync with their husbands, or to get that feeling of being desired by someone after years of feeling like it's just a routine to be together.

When a man has blood pressure issues or other aches and distraction due to age, they can't perform or get hard as often. If the wife's sex drive remains high, she's left frustrated. One friend had an "unspoken" agreement with her impotent husband: "Don't ask me any questions, and I won't nag YOU to take me out dancing. AND I'll prepare your favorite gourmet meals every day by the time you come home from work." She said that if he ever had a problem with that arrangement, they'd divorce.

Other women I've talked to just like that feeling of being pursued and taken/giving in to another man. It makes them feel younger and desirable, something they can't achieve with the same old husband they been with every day for 20 years.

EDIT: For the one who had her arrangement, she said marriage gave them both the security of the two income/bigger house, health insurance, and someone to talk to and plan long-term vacations. But she was unsatisfied and frustrated with just her toys.

 

[Ianus4]

How do you get that out of those stats?

In my experience, the women I've known who had extra-marital sex do so due because their sex drives are no longer in-sync with their husbands, or to get that feeling of being desired by someone after years of feeling like it's just a routine to be together.

When a man has blood pressure issues or other aches and distraction due to age, they can't perform or get hard as often. If the wife's sex drive remains high, she's left frustrated. One friend had an "unspoken" agreement with her impotent husband: "Don't ask me any questions, and I won't nag YOU to take me out dancing. AND I'll prepare your favorite gourmet meals every day by the time you come home from work." She said that if he ever had a problem with that arrangement, they'd divorce.

Other women I've talked to just like that feeling of being pursued and taken/giving in to another man. It makes them feel younger and desirable, something they can't achieve with the same old husband they been with every day for 20 years.

EDIT: For the one who had her arrangement, she said marriage gave them both the security of the two income/bigger house, health insurance, and someone to talk to and plan long-term vacations. But she was unsatisfied and frustrated with just her toys.

I don’t think ED is an insurmountable problem in a relationship. There are still plenty of other options to give a woman sexual pleasure. If two people respect and value each other, it’s only in very rare cases that they wouldn’t be able to work through the problem together. As one of the many vows said, "I promise to choose you every single day. I will choose us when it's easy and when it's hard. I promise to be the one who stays, who listens, and who keeps building this life with you."
The real problem arises when respect and appreciation disappear, leaving only cold calculation in their place. The "I deserve it". When one partner wants to exaggerate a problem rather than solve it.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Oh, I stand corrected. My feminist side was showing I guess.

I really have to take issue with that "now" there... you surely don't mean in comparison to the past? I am pretty certain we right now live in the peak of human civilization in terms of the lack of those things?

 

[MillieDynamite]

The problem is people have agency, man or woman, they make choices. For those choices there are consequences, but the choices have driving forces (reactions to others choices, deep-seated needs, or perhaps overwhelming curiosity), which are behind them.

Good response. However, in response to your detailed post about affairs, that is why I do not like, and have never liked affairs. Affairs cause feelings, and feelings start fracturing that so important bond between a husband and wife, and no one should ever want that

Every study since Masters and Johnson's work has found the same thing, men cheat more than women. You're experience is you experience. I'm not hear to argue with you. I'm in a committed and happy relationship with another woman who I have never cheated on and believe she hasn't cheated on me. My experience doesn't match yours. My adoptive father was a hound dog when he was young. But, in his marriage to his second wife he didn't cheat, she did. He didn't blame her, she was married to PI who worked an ungodly amount of hours, it was emotionally draining for her. On the other hand, his first wife liked to watch him with other women. She'd find him partners. When that happened, he thought he had the right to do what he wanted. Apparently, he was wrong. I've been around both those women, I far prefer his first to his second. The second is a real bitch! Dad's never cheated on my Mum and regrets how he was when he was young.

I think in general it takes real bonding for people to stay together. I don't believe two incomes is part of the equation.

While every relationship is unique to itself, all relationships have things in common with others. We all have issues, needs, wants (wants and needs are different things) and what degree our SO meets those and we meet theirs determines a lot what happens between them. Before we adopted, Jo never wanted kids, now she wonders why that was. Yes, we adopted because I needed a child. It was selfish of me to be so strongheaded on it. But, thankfully, it worked out well. Jo, is great with Donnie, she's much more attuned to the manly things he needs in his life.

Everyone finds a balance, relationships don't always work. Pops doesn't regret his marriages, isn't and wasn't angry with wife #2 for her cheating. I think he still loves both of them. Though how he ever loved a person as selfish as #2 I haven't a clue.

How do you get that out of those stats?

In my experience, the women I've known who had extra-marital sex do so due because their sex drives are no longer in-sync with their husbands, or to get that feeling of being desired by someone after years of feeling like it's just a routine to be together.

When a man has blood pressure issues or other aches and distraction due to age, they can't perform or get hard as often. If the wife's sex drive remains high, she's left frustrated. One friend had an "unspoken" agreement with her impotent husband: "Don't ask me any questions, and I won't nag YOU to take me out dancing. AND I'll prepare your favorite gourmet meals every day by the time you come home from work." She said that if he ever had a problem with that arrangement, they'd divorce.

Other women I've talked to just like that feeling of being pursued and taken/giving in to another man. It makes them feel younger and desirable, something they can't achieve with the same old husband they been with every day for 20 years.

EDIT: For the one who had her arrangement, she said marriage gave them both the security of the two income/bigger house, health insurance, and someone to talk to and plan long-term vacations. But she was unsatisfied and frustrated with just her toys.