Make me dirty

[Tio_Narratore]

"Picking a favorite is going to be so hard," said the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad as she examined the football team's short arms.

 

[MargotPayge]

I was cheerleading when he turned it on, I very nearly fell off the top of the pyramid.

pyramid

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Margot came up with a brilliant pyramid scheme - it was based on sex rather than cash investment.

 

[Bamagan]

Pregnancy is the original form of investment banking: make a deposit and watch it grow.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Pregnancy is the original form of investment banking: make a deposit and watch it grow.

"Before your make your deposit, sir," the teller warned. "Please be advised there's a penalty for early withdrawal."

 

[MargotPayge]

"Before your make your deposit, sir," the teller warned. "Please be advised there's a penalty for early withdrawal."

"Don't worry," I told the hockey player, "You'll love my penalty box."

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

"Don't worry," I told the hockey player, "You'll love my penalty box."

Worry beads are great for relieving stress, but you have to make sure they don't get stuck up there.

 

[MargotPayge]

Worry beads are great for relieving stress, but you have to make sure they don't get stuck up there.

"No. You are not a good boy," I was exasperated. "he stuck in his THUMB and pulled out the plum"

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

"No. You are not a good boy," I was exasperated. "he stuck in his THUMB and pulled out the plum"

The last time I went clubbing with my girl geek friends, my skirt was too short and I totally pulled aggro. TPK.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The last time I went clubbing with my girl geek friends, my skirt was too short and I totally pulled aggro. TPK.

I said "let's go Greek," not "Geek," declared the bottomless freshman to his laptop-bearing gamer roomie.

 

[MargotPayge]

I said "let's go Greek," not "Geek," declared the bottomless freshman to his laptop-bearing gamer roomie.

Her expression was predatory, "Freshman? more like fresh meat!"

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Her expression was predatory, "Freshman? more like fresh meat!"

The predatory fan stalked the sexy celebrity.

 

[Micio_Lambire]

The predatory fan stalked the sexy celebrity.

"Celebrity porn is so overrated, amatuer porn is where it's at," the mailman overheard one of the ladies on his route say to her neighbor.

 

[Rustyoznail]

"Celebrity porn is so overrated, amatuer porn is where it's at," the mailman overheard one of the ladies on his route say to her neighbor.

I love working with a true amateur, as they give off the most interesting sounds.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I love working with a true amateur, as they give off the most interesting sounds.

He was a true virtuoso at cunnilingus, evoking the most delightful sounds from his instrument as he double-tongued her clit.

 

[MargotPayge]

She was truly impressed as he double-tongued his way through L'Histoire du Soldat, but more impressive was the size of his repertoire.

 

[Bamagan]

She was truly impressed as he double-tongued his way through L'Histoire du Soldat, but more impressive was the size of his repertoire.

"Impressive! Most impressive," groaned Vader, as he and Luke rubbed their lightsabers sensually against one another, causing sparks of lust.

Edit: And it's only gay incest from a certain point of view.

 

[Micio_Lambire]

Connecting into the pervy party line I heard multiple things at once; the slap of skin upon skin as someone groaned appreciatively, along with very heavy breathing and a tiny giggle.

 

[MargotPayge]

Oh yes, I have a connecting flight in Vienna, but we can still make the mile-high club by Paris.

 

[Micio_Lambire]

My flight leaves in 30 minutes... But the VIP lounge has private showers.

 

[MargotPayge]

My flight leaves in 30 minutes... But the VIP lounge has private showers.

Yes, sir, the private champagne room is $500... plus tip.

 

[Bamagan]

I didn't think there would be room for it, but I suppose having a foot up one's ass was the inescapable culmination of a podiatry fetish coupled with a love of anal fisting.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I didn't think there would be room for it, but I suppose having a foot up one's ass was the inescapable culmination of a podiatry fetish coupled with a love of anal fisting.

Twenty-three. Twenty-four. Twenty-five. And that was the culmination of her successful completion of the Tik Tok "Golf Balls in your Snatch" challenge!

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

The challenge is write something absolutely filthy without ever explicitly stating what's inserted where, which body parts the clamps are applied to … or "rutabaga!" … Oh god, it's "rutabaga", right?

 

[Bamagan]

The challenge is write something absolutely filthy without ever explicitly stating what's inserted where, which body parts the clamps are applied to … or "rutabaga!" … Oh god, it's "rutabaga", right?

Ah, yes, the rutabaga... unholy hybrid of the cabbage and the turnip, sometimes referred to as brass nappies* by science hippies, presumably for its powerful odor.

*[Brassica napus, actually, if anyone cares.]