Married people, a question of affairs!

[bknight2602]

People cheat before and now for the same reason, they don't get what they think they need from S/O. Whether it is intense sex, comfort, a listening ear, shoulder to have etc. It is plain and simple. Doing that and still maintaining the status quo because of other things that are right in the relationship keeps the relationship going.

 

[Golden Eyes]

Wow, this is great. Keep it going e veryone. Lets here your ivews on this. As I said earlier, I have never had an affair. Married 17 yrs. But I do come here, because I am missing something. Maybe its excitement, spice up my life a bit. But when I leave lit, I give everything to my husband.

 

[n-erasmus]

*EXTRA*marital

Well I for one need (want?) more, I lust after some gorgious ass wiggling down the street, and I *WANT* to chase. It is not a rational decision, for me, it is an instinct. I guess I am just not monogomous. If I do *NOT* wander it is the result of strength of will and culture.

I do not intend to REPLACE my mate but to SUPPLEMENT her.

 

[bozinka]

If this was a previous topic I have not seen it. Moral issues aside, if I may, allow me to ask you about affairs.

Various studies show that a high percentage of the population is having sex with people other than their spouses.

What is your opinion on them. Have you had one and if so how did you manage it, geographically and emotionally? Were you discovered, is it still going on or how did it end? Was it worth having and/or would you do it again?

Are you considering having one but are afraid? If so, of what specifically?

Can a person have a sexual affair and keep it totally secret, and separate, from your home life?

If you have not had one, what do you know of friends that did?

Could your spouse be having one, and you are not? What would your opinion be of discovering he/she was having sex without you?

Thanks for contributing!

 

[bozinka]

quote:
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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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[Matt Twattingle]

Accomodation

I have been married for almost 20 years. During that time, I have had 3 affairs. I am currently having an affair now.
Have I been caught? Once..... and we eventually had a 3-some at my hubby's suggestion.
My husband and I have discussed affairs many times. We both agree that there is a huge difference between love and sex. Neither one of us is convinced that monogamy is necessary over the long term.
We also know that sexually, we aren't always in tune with each other.... right now, he is very stressed and on some medications that lower his drive. I, on the other hand, seem to want sex all the time! LOL
So, I'm seeing a man who is married, loves his wife and family, but like me, has needs that aren't being met at home. We are friends as well as fuckbuddies. We both know that this is for fun only. Neither of us is interested in a divorce; and both want to spend the rest of our lives with our current spouse. Sex with my lover relieves the "tension" and reminds me that I'm still sexy even though my hubby never approaches me for sex anymore (he generally responds positively when I initiate it... I just get tired of having to start things up all the time).
Do I want to know if he's having an affair? Not really... in spite of myself, I get a little jealous, so I'd rather not know. Could he be having an affair? Absolutely Have I caught him in the past? Yep... It wasn't a problem, once I realized that he still loved me.
Am I rationalizing? Probably, but who cares?!

I like it and have done almost exactly the same thing.

 

[n-erasmus]

Bump (& grind)

Surely there is more to day about this! How can we be so horny and so married at the same time?

 

[juicylips]

Re: Interesting question...

.

 

[juicylips]

Re: Re: an affair...I wonder if I could

.

 

[juicylips]

I really shouldn't be allowed near a fucking computer before 7am. I meant to edit and instead ended up posting.

Me------->fucktard.

 

[ldrequiv]

Affairs can arise for many reasons, and from many temptations.

I've been married a long time. My wife went through early menopause (age 39) and lost all her desire, nearly a decade ago. This, after having been a firecracker for the first part of her life. The resulting deprivation has occasionally made me close to impossible to be with.

I've felt the tug of possible infidelity many times. For reasons I'll never understand, since I'm short, bald, homely and 50, women are attracted to me. Especially younger women, who complain incessantly to me about their husbands and boyfriends, and make uncomfortable comparisons between them and me. Sometimes the invitation is even less concealed than that.

But there are stumbling blocks. I love my wife and would never want to hurt her. If an affair went sour in any of the innumerable ways they do, I'd have a hard time coping with the consequences. And there are practical difficulties as well.

So I reminisce about how good it used to be. And I dream, possibly too much for my own good. And I write erotica.

All my best,
Ldrequiv

 

[carrie-on]

I have been married for 28 years and have been having a relationship with another woman for the past 10 almost 11 years.
My husband knows and approves,because he knows that I love them both...albeit differently.He also knows that if it comes down to Him or Her,that I will choose him. She and I now live in different states and still see each other when we can,but I miss her alot.
Is it still considered cheating when he knows? I don't see it that way,but that's just my opinion. It doesn't matter if someone approves of me or not,it's my decision and my life,not theirs.
As for cybering? No, I don't consider it cheating. No more than I consider watching porn movies or reading stories,cheating. A lot of the time when I am cybering with someone,my hubby is sitting here watching.

 

[manofsteel52]

Wow, this is great. Keep it going e veryone. Lets here your ivews on this. As I said earlier, I have never had an affair. Married 17 yrs. But I do come here, because I am missing something. Maybe its excitement, spice up my life a bit. But when I leave lit, I give everything to my husband.

Like Golden Eyes, I've been married for nearly 30 years, to the same person, and have never cheated, at least not r/t. I did have another woman friend during this time, but never had sex (any sex, not just the presidential definition), something always happened at the most inopportune moment to prevent it. I love many things about my wife, but like Golden Eyes, something is missing. Her need for sex is not even close to my own. I don't find Lit actually fulfilling, but it helps by providing at least a mental diversion.

Is it still considered cheating when he knows? I don't see it that way,but that's just my opinion. It doesn't matter if someone approves of me or not,it's my decision and my life,not theirs.
As for cybering? No, I don't consider it cheating. No more than I consider watching porn movies or reading stories,cheating.

If you have a lover and your spouse knows - and approves - then I don't feel that it's cheating.
As for cybering - (online mental sex with one or more partners) as far as I'm concerned, it's akin to playing a video game.
Having an exclusive online emotional relationship, however, is leaning over the precipice, I think. Very dangerous to a monogamous relationship and, in my opinion, cheating.

Personally, I would not make any judgements about anyone regarding their personal relationship.
It's just that.
THEIR relationship.
My approval is not necessary.