My hubs fishing buddy

[KerrBear85]

So I need some advice on this rather peculiar incident.

My husband has a fishing friend I have always found very attractive. I have always told my hubs that I would love to fuck his friend and that if we were ever to have a three-sum, I would want it with him. He's not exactly the type of guy most ladies go for. His eyes are too close together, he's overweight, has some mood issues (he's Polish), and his house is totally a bachelor pad. But he works hard, is an excellent fisherman, and is tall. To me, he's extremely attractive and some of that might be because he's my hubs buddy, I'm not sure. I do know I want to fuck him. . .

Well, I just figured I'd wait for the right time on an ice fishing trip or something, but something odd has happened.

This 34 year old bachelor is now in a relationship with a married woman. This woman is his second cousin's wife and her hubs works for his dad. So there is a lot of complication and drama about this whole ordeal and it's a really small town besides and everyone knows everyone's bullshit. Well, I don't know the whole story, but I guess this lady is going to leave her house, her marriage, and I'm thinking the kids as well so she could live with my sex interest. Which is a foolish thing to do. I mean, I want to fuck the guy too, but I'm not leaving my family to do it! I think they are both being incredibly foolish about the whole ordeal, that and I feel like now I wont be able to ever play with him cause he's got himself a girly friend. I'm sure the relationship wont last long because he has some serious anger issues and is simply not husband/long-term boyfriend material.

Should I contact him (we don't ever talk normally, but I know his e-mail addy and have contacted him in the past) and just let him know that I wanted to fuck him and that I think he should let the girl go back to her family, or should I just lie low for now and see what happens?

 

[fenghuang]

If you're husband knows you want to fuck his friend, what does he think about you wanting contact the friend with a view to expressing this desire, especially in the context of the timing?

As your husband about this fantasy, I'd advise not going behind his back.

 

[emap]

I think it would be best if you simply let him have his fling with the other woman and leave him for fantasy materials. Since you mention he has anger problems I get the impression he is one of those guys that falls easily and doesn't really take no well.

Not to say he would become a rapist or anything but well, if you start fucking him he probably will try and do the same thing to you he is doing with this other woman. Besides, if you are at least half right about him, he's not going to stay with her for long.

Alot of the fantasy materials really are so much better off staying fantasy.

 

[NHPictureguy]

I don't see how ANYTHING good can come from this. At most, you will have a fling with the current object of your desires but as many of us know, fantasy rarely lives up to reality. The guy is in a sticky situation as it is and you want to add to it? Good luck.

 

[infinity706]

Honestly, if you really don't care about him as a person and simply want to fuck his brains out, the best way to get him would be to just wait until the relationship blows up and catch him on the rebound. I wouldn't personally do it, but from what I've seen it is very effective at getting you some dick if that's all you want.

 

[angle1984]

I think its stupid and selfish of you to contact him especially without your husband knowing. You really have no clue of the situation between him and the woman nor her situation with her husband.

Oh and I'm Polish too, does that mean I have "mood issues"?

 

[CrowdedStranger]

He sounds alot like an old buddy of mine. He ONLY fooled around with married women and always fell head over heels for them. It always ended badly. He tried a few times to get my wife to play around,when she finally told him she had 'permission' and I would know about it later he lost all interest and stopped coming around. Be careful what you get into and by NO means should you do ANYthing behind your hubbies back.You and your hubby seem to have a good relationship and sex,may it be lousy or incredible,is not worth a good marriage. Trust is as strong as titanium and as fragile as glass.

 

[chromecockring]

Oh and I'm Polish too, does that mean I have "mood issues"?

I caught that little line in there too. I never knew mood issues were of national or ethnic origin.

 

[KerrBear85]

If you're husband knows you want to fuck his friend, what does he think about you wanting contact the friend with a view to expressing this desire, especially in the context of the timing?

As your husband about this fantasy, I'd advise not going behind his back.

Trust me, there would be no going behind his back. He's actually suggested a swap or a 3 sum to me first. I just took that ball rolling. He knows I want to contact his friend, I'm just not sure if it's the right time to.

 

[KerrBear85]

He sounds alot like an old buddy of mine. He ONLY fooled around with married women and always fell head over heels for them. It always ended badly. He tried a few times to get my wife to play around,when she finally told him she had 'permission' and I would know about it later he lost all interest and stopped coming around. Be careful what you get into and by NO means should you do ANYthing behind your hubbies back.You and your hubby seem to have a good relationship and sex,may it be lousy or incredible,is not worth a good marriage. Trust is as strong as titanium and as fragile as glass.

It's kind of weird because he's shy and never really talks to women. He's been in a previous relationship with a woman who would consistently move in and out of his place because he's such a hard person to live with. He's extremely bullheaded. Then she got her stomach stapled and her confidence increased and now she doesn't come around much anymore. So I figured it would be a good time to ask if he wanted to play with us, but then this happens with the married chick. I'm not even sure if he's head over heels for her or anything. What I'm hearing is that she was a house mom and her hubs had a stroke or something and couldn't work for awhile. So she went out a started working at the local cafe. He comes in there a lot and she finally got the nerve to tell him that she had a crush on him. They started fucking and what I think happened is they got caught. She panicked and left the house and the kids and the hubby. My hubby's friend lives in a shack, literally. There is no siding up on the house, there is no flooring, there is junk and garbage and beer cans everywhere. Only half the house is heated. They are both being foolish. Why would you leave your kids? That's a horrible move for a mother to make.

I kind of want to contact him mostly to see how he's really feeling about this whole situation. Then if by revealing that he can have nsa fun with others, he will convince the silly woman to go back to her kids and family. I mean, if she wants to play, all power to her, but this is nuts. She can't possibly believe she's going to get the children after all this? Does she even want the children? Probably not. . .

 

[sallythescorpian]

I think you should avoid this situation like the plague! Your hubby's buddy has more Than enough on his plate at the moment. Don't judge the woman with whom he's involved, no matter how small the town no one can know what goes on behind closed door - leave them to sort things out themselves in their own way. You seem to have a very good relationship with your hubby, don't jepordise that with a threesome unless you are both 100% keen on the idea. Sometimes fantasies are best kept as hot fantasies. Certainly don't email this guy behind your husbands back - he may end up feeling betrayed and you'll never regain his trust. If you both want go progress the threesome with thus guy let hour husband do all the arranging so that it's easy for him yo pull the plug at any time. Ask yourself how you'd feel if your husband was to arrange a threesome with hour friend without your being totally on board.

 

[human_male]

I'd steer clear of the whole mess.

If you just want someone to fool around with I'm sure you could find someone with less baggage and an even temperament.

Plus it's a small town and everyone knows everyone else's bullshit, are you sure you want the whole town to know what you're getting up to with this guy, while he's in the middle of all this other crap? Does that really sound like an agreeable prospect?

 

[KerrBear85]

I think you should avoid this situation like the plague! Your hubby's buddy has more Than enough on his plate at the moment. Don't judge the woman with whom he's involved, no matter how small the town no one can know what goes on behind closed door - leave them to sort things out themselves in their own way. You seem to have a very good relationship with your hubby, don't jepordise that with a threesome unless you are both 100% keen on the idea. Sometimes fantasies are best kept as hot fantasies. Certainly don't email this guy behind your husbands back - he may end up feeling betrayed and you'll never regain his trust. If you both want go progress the threesome with thus guy let hour husband do all the arranging so that it's easy for him yo pull the plug at any time. Ask yourself how you'd feel if your husband was to arrange a threesome with hour friend without your being totally on board.

Well of course he'd be on board. I've already spoken to him about it, he said he wasn't sure what would happen seeming he's with this other girl right now. That's whats why I'm getting outside opinions. But I'm most likely just going to wait for the girl to run screaming from him and then I'll make my move. Not while she's still there with him. In a way, I feel more sorry for him. The way it appears is that she kind of just moved in on her own whim because they were caught and she couldn't handle fixing her relationship. Ah, the grass sure is greener on the otherside of the fence.

Any woman who leaves her children has issues. Even if it's the best for the children, then quite obviously there are issues. My nephews mom left them and they still resent their mother for it. I don't blame them, I can hardly smile a friendly hello on those rare times she visits them. Her boys are wonderful children, why would any woman forfeit being a mother? If you didn't know if you wanted children, never should have had them. There are abortion clinics and adoption centers everywhere. Why put the kids through losing a mother? It's hard to lose a dad because he stepped out of the relationship and your lives, I know I've been there, but it's by far more painful when it's your mother.

 

[SweetErika]

You're being jealous and manipulative. You have no business sticking your nose in this guy's relationship or his girlfriend's affairs, yet that's exactly what you're considering doing. And in doing so, you're lowering yourself to the level of people you say you don't respect (like mothers who leave their kids for unstable situations).

Get control of yourself now, before you do something really stupid. If this guy's relationship disintegrates on its own, fine, go ahead and proposition him if you've thought it through fully and believe it's a fantastic idea with little downside. However, it's not your place to interfere with his emotions or relationship in the least - surely YOU wouldn't appreciate another person trying to break up your marriage, would you? So, unless/until this man is single again, keep your ideas on getting involved with him to yourself and maybe find someone who is single to play with.

In a way, I feel more sorry for him. The way it appears is that she kind of just moved in on her own whim because they were caught and she couldn't handle fixing her relationship. Ah, the grass sure is greener on the otherside of the fence.

Riiiight. He wasn't able to tell her to stay away from his shack, and now that she's there, he's completely stuck with her.

If he's an adult with a somewhat sound mind, he's just as much to blame for the current situation as she is. That is, if there's any blame to go around; for all you know, they could be pretty happy together. You only know how it appears - keep that in mind before you get too set on your opinions and ideas.

Any woman who leaves her children has issues. Even if it's the best for the children, then quite obviously there are issues. My nephews mom left them and they still resent their mother for it. I don't blame them, I can hardly smile a friendly hello on those rare times she visits them. Her boys are wonderful children, why would any woman forfeit being a mother? If you didn't know if you wanted children, never should have had them. There are abortion clinics and adoption centers everywhere. Why put the kids through losing a mother? It's hard to lose a dad because he stepped out of the relationship and your lives, I know I've been there, but it's by far more painful when it's your mother.

So this is really about your issues and those of your family, right?

Take a good look at where your feelings are coming from and all of the alternatives (e.g. abusing kids vs. abandoning them) before you judge others so harshly. You'll probably be a lot happier and healthier for doing so.

 

[KerrBear85]

You're being jealous and manipulative. You have no business sticking your nose in this guy's relationship or his girlfriend's affairs, yet that's exactly what you're considering doing. And in doing so, you're lowering yourself to the level of people you say you don't respect (like mothers who leave their kids for unstable situations).

Get control of yourself now, before you do something really stupid. If this guy's relationship disintegrates on its own, fine, go ahead and proposition him if you've thought it through fully and believe it's a fantastic idea with little downside. However, it's not your place to interfere with his emotions or relationship in the least - surely YOU wouldn't appreciate another person trying to break up your marriage, would you? So, unless/until this man is single again, keep your ideas on getting involved with him to yourself and maybe find someone who is single to play with.

He's the one breaking up an already formed marriage. Marriages are there so they are not easily broken up. I'm sickened that it happened with this particular guy because I was on a friendly basis with him and because of this I guess I expected more of him. In all seriousness I mostly wanted her to go back to her family. And that was not so much to leave him alone but for her to go back to her babies and fix her marriage. Is that a personal judgment? Of course. We cannot form judgments, opinions, nor ideas without bringing in who we are and what we've been through. And in this situation, the children weren't being abused. Perhaps neglected at the moment, but not beaten or mentally raped in anyway.

And I have not acted nor am I going to act. They both destroyed their reputation in this very small town and they will have to deal with those consequences. I am more taken aback that he would do something like this, but I suppose he's only a man. He is no saint either and I feel he did it seeking love. She offered it to him, he took it. That's why I wanted to send him a message letting him know he's worthy enough not to have to take up offers from women he knows he shouldn't be taking. Both he and this other woman have already been very selfish and now kids are involved it's worse.

We all set opinions and ideas regardless of who we are. We're incapable of not doing so, unless you are a saint. These opinions and emotions that swing with anything that comes across in our life is also influence by what we've been through and what we know. Therefore, it is unfair to say that you yourself is clean of unfair opinions and ideas. You are just as human as I am. Besides, I personally never think an opinion or idea as wrong. Maybe misdirected, but never outright wrong.

 

[subish2009]

I'd steer clear of the whole mess.

If you just want someone to fool around with I'm sure you could find someone with less baggage and an even temperament.

Plus it's a small town and everyone knows everyone else's bullshit, are you sure you want the whole town to know what you're getting up to with this guy, while he's in the middle of all this other crap? Does that really sound like an agreeable prospect?

I strongly second this advice.

 

[Cathleen]

There are way too many ticking time bombs here. I'm with the others, stay the hell out of this mess. Your opening post asks if you should email him to let him know you want to fuck him and then you say you'd never do it. So, what's going on here?

Is this just about you and the likelihood you won't get to fuck him now? There seems to be a bit too much you in this while you're trying to cover it up by putting the focus on him and the other married woman.

Don't forget that it's a small town and everyone will know YOUR business in this bizarre mess. Are you ready for that? Is your husband? Your children?

Keep what you have and tend to it carefully.

 

[subwannabe]

Nothing good can come out of this. More than likely the sex would be a let down from what you have imagined in your head and even if it were good it wouldn't be worth the trouble that would eventually brew out of it.