my own personal waffling bdsm thread

[HottieMama]

DOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Location: i only know if someone wants me. i want them if they want me.

Ummmmmm.....that "quote" is from my FAVE SONG EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorry...i see a Jane's Addiction reference and get all geeked out.

 

[Netzach]

Here's a thought: is all impulse toward self destruction/denial/refusal bad and unhealthy? I think the vast majority of people could use a less unquestioning relationship to their ego and their immediate wants and gratifications in favor of postponement, analysis, looking at other people and wondering if something needs to be done for them, awareness. If a submissive person enlists another person to assist them in doing those things, it doesn't mean it's unhealthy. And yeah, I think even people completely in a face-level M/s relationship are enlisting their M in becoming what they need to be, in a process of finding themselves, and enlisting a Master/Mistress to shape, define, postpone, and control their wants and gratifications.

Erase one part of your ID or your ego, or your past reactions, and something new can flourish. I've always seen submission as an act of self-reinvention, the involvement of the D not the be all end all reason people do it. Even if you live and breathe "for him" you're doing it because it invents you in a way that satisfies you.

So I guess the question is what's stripping away "your stuff" and what's an act of self-hatred? No one outside the game is really going to know. It all comes back to whether it's fulfilling or horrible for you.

 

[dolf]

More often than one might think. It usually manifests itself in the form of overspending on shoes, bags, and shiny things.

that can get some subs into more trouble than others.

 

[dolf]

DOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ummmmmm.....that "quote" is from my FAVE SONG EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry...i see a Jane's Addiction reference and get all geeked out.

i love that song now.
it was perged to me.

 

[dolf]

Here's a thought: is all impulse toward self destruction/denial/refusal bad and unhealthy? I think the vast majority of people could use a less unquestioning relationship to their ego and their immediate wants and gratifications in favor of postponement, analysis, looking at other people and wondering if something needs to be done for them, awareness. If a submissive person enlists another person to assist them in doing those things, it doesn't mean it's unhealthy. And yeah, I think even people completely in a face-level M/s relationship are enlisting their M in becoming what they need to be, in a process of finding themselves, and enlisting a Master/Mistress to shape, define, postpone, and control their wants and gratifications.

Erase one part of your ID or your ego, or your past reactions, and something new can flourish. I've always seen submission as an act of self-reinvention, the involvement of the D not the be all end all reason people do it. Even if you live and breathe "for him" you're doing it because it invents you in a way that satisfies you.

So I guess the question is what's stripping away "your stuff" and what's an act of self-hatred? No one outside the game is really going to know. It all comes back to whether it's fulfilling or horrible for you.

i so want to hump your brains!

 

[intothewoods]

Here's a thought: is all impulse toward self destruction/denial/refusal bad and unhealthy? I think the vast majority of people could use a less unquestioning relationship to their ego and their immediate wants and gratifications in favor of postponement, analysis, looking at other people and wondering if something needs to be done for them, awareness. If a submissive person enlists another person to assist them in doing those things, it doesn't mean it's unhealthy. And yeah, I think even people completely in a face-level M/s relationship are enlisting their M in becoming what they need to be, in a process of finding themselves, and enlisting a Master/Mistress to shape, define, postpone, and control their wants and gratifications.

Erase one part of your ID or your ego, or your past reactions, and something new can flourish. I've always seen submission as an act of self-reinvention, the involvement of the D not the be all end all reason people do it. Even if you live and breathe "for him" you're doing it because it invents you in a way that satisfies you.

So I guess the question is what's stripping away "your stuff" and what's an act of self-hatred? No one outside the game is really going to know. It all comes back to whether it's fulfilling or horrible for you.

Oooh, this is exactly what I struggle with.

And what if it's both fulfilling and horrible? Ok, I'm not really serious. But I have the desire to please and, in a way, serve, but I don't know that it's healthy, and I also don't always like to be told what to do.

And to get so lost in someone else...I don't know...it scares me. It's appealing on one level, and horrifying at the same time.

 

[CutieMouse]

Here's a thought: is all impulse toward self destruction/denial/refusal bad and unhealthy? I think the vast majority of people could use a less unquestioning relationship to their ego and their immediate wants and gratifications in favor of postponement, analysis, looking at other people and wondering if something needs to be done for them, awareness. If a submissive person enlists another person to assist them in doing those things, it doesn't mean it's unhealthy. And yeah, I think even people completely in a face-level M/s relationship are enlisting their M in becoming what they need to be, in a process of finding themselves, and enlisting a Master/Mistress to shape, define, postpone, and control their wants and gratifications.

Erase one part of your ID or your ego, or your past reactions, and something new can flourish. I've always seen submission as an act of self-reinvention, the involvement of the D not the be all end all reason people do it. Even if you live and breathe "for him" you're doing it because it invents you in a way that satisfies you.

So I guess the question is what's stripping away "your stuff" and what's an act of self-hatred? No one outside the game is really going to know. It all comes back to whether it's fulfilling or horrible for you.

Exactly.

 

[CutieMouse]

[hijack]

Calling Miss Slave! Shy Slave please present yourself for the thread hijack!

Handbag/Purse Museum

[/hijack]

 

[Netzach]

Oooh, this is exactly what I struggle with.

And what if it's both fulfilling and horrible? Ok, I'm not really serious. But I have the desire to please and, in a way, serve, but I don't know that it's healthy, and I also don't always like to be told what to do.

And to get so lost in someone else...I don't know...it scares me. It's appealing on one level, and horrifying at the same time.

They're not healthy or unhealthy in themselves. I know a lot of parents who sacrifice stuff for the kids -that can be great, but that can also reach a point of pathology. But no one would say putting your kids first is inherently unhealthy for you.

If you don't always like to be told what to do find someone who, like me, doesn't like to ALWAYS tell people what to do. 80 percent of the time is dandy. I'm actually serious. I find that enough obedience to relax me and let me know I'm in charge is roughly 75-80 percent compliance and being obeyed immediately outright 100 percent of the time with no evidence of struggle is going to overwhelm me. That's the beauty of it D's are different.

I see D/s relationships crash and burn all the time when someone decides to lose herself completlely in someone -

it's not to say there are no M/s couples where this is actually what's desired and what works, it's just not going to work like that the majority of the time --

when people can draw a distinction between making someone else the source of *authority* in their relationship and *needing* that person to their own detriment, they have a better shot at success.

 

[myinnerslut]

joinging the thread late, but im gonna try to take a stab at a few questions

orgasm denial is for me, but a punishment and a becuase i said so. the becuase i said so type lasts a short while and usually has lots of teasing involved. this is really hot becuase its more of a tease then a denial. it takes about a day and a half of near constant teasing and not being allowed to cum for my body to just turn off the sexual state. the punishment type is usually more long term, up to weeks at a time. ill stay horny for a few days straight, then kind of mellow out but it will be very easy for me to get very horny. this can go on for weeks before my body turns off the sexual state.

tattos over impact areas are a bad idea. not only will they blur, bubt id imagine having the ink running through your bloodstream cant be horribly good for you.

i go through vibrators a lot too. i just bought my sixth with A the other weekend.

i have a self destructive side that i try to work hard to keep under control. i have a history of eating disorders which i dont want to relapse into ever again. being submissive is actually helping me keep these things under control since A is being a great help and support to me.

 

[dolf]

what percentage of bdsmers are only bdsm in their minds?

 

[Netzach]

what percentage of bdsmers are only bdsm in their minds?

100 some of the time.

 

[intothewoods]

100 some of the time.

heh heh

 

[intothewoods]

Lol, you could say I went from being 100% bdsm in my mind, 0% in body. Now 100% (well, not 100%, but work with me) in my body, and 0% in my mind. Ya know, because I just fake that submission shit now.

Oh, I'm kidding. I'm just cranky, don't mind me.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<Snip> Oh, I'm kidding. I'm just cranky, don't mind me.

Need some http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x95/Sir_Winston54/midol.jpg? http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x95/Sir_Winston54/laughing-smiley-014.gif

 

[FurryFury]

List of questions to ask a potential owner: I'm not seeking an owner but if I apply this to a Dom it would go something like this:

What are your goals?

What are you looking to get out of it?

What are your limits?

Can you be happy with mine as previously stated?

What is your quest?

What is your favorite color?

What is the speed of the African Swallow?

Oops.

I have not been pissed in. Yet. It's part of my fantasies but I have no idea what I would feel about it in RL. My husband has no interest so I doubt that this will happen ever.

the other side of the coin...

I don't know the answer to that one, sorry.

how do you feel about humiliation?

It's a HUGE part of my fantasies but not a part of my life. Again, I'm not sure what I would do with it. Trust issues might come into play.

a list of requirements.

I don't think I've ever been given a list of requirements up front. That's not how I do relationships. I don't think I'd react well to that. First we make a bond and get to know each other . . .

somnophilia

This is NOT usually my thang though I've tried to fuck someone who was asleep once. Generally I consider sleep a pretty sacred thing though.

personal ad red flag

Strange unrealistic demands, bad or net speak writing, posting pictures of cocks, demanding pictures to make sure you are "real" or for any other reason.

who does rope?

I'm not in a descriptive mood, sorry. I will say that I find rope challenging from the application POV and not at all from the sub side. I can take it or leave it.

not wanking unless they say so.
why is it so hot to not???

It's usually not for me. Unless there is something in there I'm working towards and it aids that, I'm so NOT into denial.

Supernatural sex toys?

I want my own personal sexual Golem. I think that would so work for me.

Sounds yummy to me too!

can you tattoo over fresh welts/bruises?
should you avoid laying bruises/welts on a fresh tattoo?

Sounds like a bad idea to me. I'd have to research it but my gut sez no!

how often does subbiness & self destructiveness go hand in hand?

For me, almost never.

what percentage of bdsmers are only bdsm in their minds?

Good question. I don't know. I do know I'm do BDSM in my mind often.

 

[dolf]

african swallows weighed down with a coconut?

 

[dolf]

oh...

personal ads on bdsm sites and replies by faux subs after pics.

I know a good one in USA do u have a pic

too far away.

lol i see why you're unowned very sad

there are no decent men in england?
you might be right!

MEN? Sorry thouht you were seeking a REAL DADDY MASTER/ lol why do u care where you go to serve.... thats silly

not at all silly.
there are reasons why i can't leave the country

lol too silly. Its for a good life stupid

legal reasons. no can do.

u in jail goofus?

something like that.

but with all the bruises & welts on me, and there being no proof it was d/s related, it was easy enough to get self defence considerations.

 

[Netzach]

oh...

personal ads on bdsm sites and replies by faux subs after pics.

wow

just wow

 

[dolf]

wow

just wow

i think my last reply has put her off messaging me again

 

[FurryFury]

Oh is the asshattery opened here too?

Lurverly

LOL