My stories keep getting rejected by the monitor

[M_K_Babalon]

As she slammed down her shot.” Well… This is the make-up for the blow job that you never finished on my 15th birthday… It only took 18 years for me to meet with you and well we have some lost time to make up for.. ..” For you see if you read the story of my first sexual expierence.. This is her… This is the first woman I ever truly loved as a teenager and It seems ironically funny that has been the last woman I have truly loved as an adult… We finish smoking a joint and the rest of the alcohol. Smoking a cigarette we are both pretty buzzed.

Grammar, punctuation, and that. Specifically that. Genius.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

the whole time my cock was still throbbing in her ass as she was still slowly sliding up and down on it. We finish A large gatorade…. TBC

Wait. Tbc?? What color Gatorade??

 

[Abdelkaoolomocro]

Every single story that I write is all original and very well written. My Grammer is good, my punctuations are on point and my spelling is also checked. I wouldn't mind if they gave me a reason for it being flagged but I get no reason. Could someone please help me figure out why or somewhere else I could publish my work. Thank you.

Me too. I just gave up.

 

[BBlaketbv]

Hey everyone thank-you for your feedback. I have adjusted my writing so let's see if they accept it. This is one of my stories.. true story too mind you.

It was one of those hot summer nights where no matter what you do you are drenched in sweat. She was wearing a short black skirt. No underwear and a Bikini top that was just barely covering her gorgeous perky tits. Her nipple got hard just at the sight of me walking up to her house knowing that what is coming next is only things that most people only see in porns.

In preparation of the festivities of the evening I already had my thre3tier cockring on knowing that it wouldnt be long before she was down on her knees sucking me as hard as she could. She loved my cock without any of my rings on. But when wearing thre3tier she knows that I just keep getting bigger and bigger the harder she sucks.

We proceeded to the side of her family's house and started doing shots of Jamason and drinking beers. WIthin 20 minutes we finished a six pack and half of bottle. As she was finishing her last beer for the moment she spread her legs open, Showing her glorious already soaked cunt.. Her clit was already swollen out of her hood waiting in anticipation for me. She wasted no time at all exposing my already hard cock.

She smiled and said. “ is that for me. It looks yummy. How about I see how big I can get it.” Like her Life depended upon it she started sucking my cock as hard as she could. Knowing the harder she sucked the bigger I got. While she was sucking she started rubbing her clit.

I took my whip and slapped her hands saying.” Did I tell you that you are allowed to touch my cunt you little filthy slut.” She started moaning on my cock as she choked herself trying to take it all in her mouth. It was at that point that I pulled her off my cock by the back of her hair and I said.” No…”

I pulled her skirt up to above her waist and wrapped my arms around her. Holding her upside down I lifted her up and started to suck and tonguefuck her clit..She started moaning etremely loud.. “You need to be quieter,, Now you suck you filthy whore.”.. While I'm sucking and tonguefucking her clit. Her moans become louder on my cock. It only took a grand total of 90 seconds before she squirts and it starts dripping down her body onto my cock. I threw her down to the ground and said. “Now look what you have done” I take my whip and tie it around her neck and force her to continue sucking my cock.

It at this point that I go into my bag of goodies and take out our Rabbit. As my cock is still swelling up in her mouth I place the rabbit on the ground. She sides it all the way inside of her and I put it on full blast. As it starts gyrating inside of her and flicking her clit as she moans on my cock and mumbles” Im squirting again." It’s at that point that I pull her off my cock via whip. Choking her I tell her. “ Keep the rabbit inside your tight cunt and start riding my cock with your ass."

Without a moment of hesitation she turns around and takes all of me deep inside of her. I grab the rabbit from her hands as she grabs on to the top pole on her fence and slides furiously up and down on my huge cock. I start fucking her in synic with the rabbit as she yells.”I have never been fucked like this before in my life.. Don't stop. Please don't stop, I just keep cumming over and over from your cock in my ass.” Like a waterside her pussy kept squirting soaking both of us in her hot juices.

I Force her to hold onto the rabbit and just sit with my cock in her ass as I reach for our strap. I tie the strap around the rabbit. Holding it in place inside of her. Then I told her. Grab onto the top of the fence and in doing so I lift her up and start fucking her ass hard and fast.She scream out

“OOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYGGGOOOODDDDDDDD.. Whatever you are doing dont stop please I love your hard cock pounding my ass”.. As her pussy juices started gushing down my legs as she kept say” Fuck me harder, Fuck me harder, Yes Yes Yes.” over and over until we were both drenched in sweat and pussy juices.

At this point 90 minutes has passed. I still didn't cum but needed a few moments to cool down and rehydrate . I Loosen the strap only for the rabbit to fly out of her along with a gushing sound which was all the extra juices still trapped behind the rabbit. While holding her up and with my cock still in her ass I walk us over to the hose. We are both over drenched in sweat and sex. She picks it up and starts spaying it over us while I still continue to fuck her ass at a slow pace. We then went to the chairs where we first started.

With my cock still in her ass she turns around and our bodies are inches away from one another. We then start kissing passionately as I tell her.” I love you with all my heart..” Reaching for 2 beers out of the cooler she replies.. I love you to.. No man has ever compared to you.” As I reached out to grab the other half of the Bottle and started pouring us shots I said.” Well… Has any man ever did to you what we are currently doing.”.. Her reply was.” What are you kidding… You are the first and only man who ever fucked my ass.. And you cock is so big but It feel just so good in there..”

As she slammed down her shot.” Well… This is the make-up for the blow job that you never finished on my 15th birthday… It only took 18 years for me to meet with you and well we have some lost time to make up for.. ..” For you see if you read the story of my first sexual expierence.. This is her… This is the first woman I ever truly loved as a teenager and It seems ironically funny that has been the last woman I have truly loved as an adult… We finish smoking a joint and the rest of the alcohol. Smoking a cigarette we are both pretty buzzed.

I look her in the eyes and say.” I still hate saved by the bell.”It was 20 minutes all together and the whole time my cock was still throbbing in her ass as she was still slowly sliding up and down on it. We finish A large gatorade…. TBC

- I don't believe you are supposed to post stories on the forum.
- I understand why it kept getting rejected. Your punctuation has many mistakes, nowhere near good enough to get published.
- The errors in the text makes the story difficult to read.
- "OOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG" Don't use too many capitol letters to indicate somebody shouting. The "!" works a lot better, and makes it more pleasant to read.
- EDIT. Underage stuff. I hadn't seen that part right away, but it definitely is the nr.1 problem.
Reported it. This underage part of the story shouldn't be on the forum.

 

[BBlaketbv]

Grammar, punctuation, and that. Specifically that. Genius.

I stopped reading and never got to that part. Underage content is not ok

 

[SimonDoom]

Hey everyone thank-you for your feedback. I have adjusted my writing so let's see if they accept it. This is one of my stories.. true story too mind you.

It was one of those hot summer nights where no matter what you do you are drenched in sweat. She was wearing a short black skirt. No underwear and a Bikini top that was just barely covering her gorgeous perky tits. Her nipple got hard just at the sight of me walking up to her house knowing that what is coming next is only things that most people only see in porns.

In preparation of the festivities of the evening I already had my thre3tier cockring on knowing that it wouldnt be long before she was down on her knees sucking me as hard as she could. She loved my cock without any of my rings on. But when wearing thre3tier she knows that I just keep getting bigger and bigger the harder she sucks.

We proceeded to the side of her family's house and started doing shots of Jamason and drinking beers. WIthin 20 minutes we finished a six pack and half of bottle. As she was finishing her last beer for the moment she spread her legs open, Showing her glorious already soaked cunt.. Her clit was already swollen out of her hood waiting in anticipation for me. She wasted no time at all exposing my already hard cock.

She smiled and said. “ is that for me. It looks yummy. How about I see how big I can get it.” Like her Life depended upon it she started sucking my cock as hard as she could. Knowing the harder she sucked the bigger I got. While she was sucking she started rubbing her clit.

I took my whip and slapped her hands saying.” Did I tell you that you are allowed to touch my cunt you little filthy slut.” She started moaning on my cock as she choked herself trying to take it all in her mouth. It was at that point that I pulled her off my cock by the back of her hair and I said.” No…”

I pulled her skirt up to above her waist and wrapped my arms around her. Holding her upside down I lifted her up and started to suck and tonguefuck her clit..She started moaning etremely loud.. “You need to be quieter,, Now you suck you filthy whore.”.. While I'm sucking and tonguefucking her clit. Her moans become louder on my cock. It only took a grand total of 90 seconds before she squirts and it starts dripping down her body onto my cock. I threw her down to the ground and said. “Now look what you have done” I take my whip and tie it around her neck and force her to continue sucking my cock.

It at this point that I go into my bag of goodies and take out our Rabbit. As my cock is still swelling up in her mouth I place the rabbit on the ground. She sides it all the way inside of her and I put it on full blast. As it starts gyrating inside of her and flicking her clit as she moans on my cock and mumbles” Im squirting again." It’s at that point that I pull her off my cock via whip. Choking her I tell her. “ Keep the rabbit inside your tight cunt and start riding my cock with your ass."

Without a moment of hesitation she turns around and takes all of me deep inside of her. I grab the rabbit from her hands as she grabs on to the top pole on her fence and slides furiously up and down on my huge cock. I start fucking her in synic with the rabbit as she yells.”I have never been fucked like this before in my life.. Don't stop. Please don't stop, I just keep cumming over and over from your cock in my ass.” Like a waterside her pussy kept squirting soaking both of us in her hot juices.

I Force her to hold onto the rabbit and just sit with my cock in her ass as I reach for our strap. I tie the strap around the rabbit. Holding it in place inside of her. Then I told her. Grab onto the top of the fence and in doing so I lift her up and start fucking her ass hard and fast.She scream out

“OOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYGGGOOOODDDDDDDD.. Whatever you are doing dont stop please I love your hard cock pounding my ass”.. As her pussy juices started gushing down my legs as she kept say” Fuck me harder, Fuck me harder, Yes Yes Yes.” over and over until we were both drenched in sweat and pussy juices.

At this point 90 minutes has passed. I still didn't cum but needed a few moments to cool down and rehydrate . I Loosen the strap only for the rabbit to fly out of her along with a gushing sound which was all the extra juices still trapped behind the rabbit. While holding her up and with my cock still in her ass I walk us over to the hose. We are both over drenched in sweat and sex. She picks it up and starts spaying it over us while I still continue to fuck her ass at a slow pace. We then went to the chairs where we first started.

With my cock still in her ass she turns around and our bodies are inches away from one another. We then start kissing passionately as I tell her.” I love you with all my heart..” Reaching for 2 beers out of the cooler she replies.. I love you to.. No man has ever compared to you.” As I reached out to grab the other half of the Bottle and started pouring us shots I said.” Well… Has any man ever did to you what we are currently doing.”.. Her reply was.” What are you kidding… You are the first and only man who ever fucked my ass.. And you cock is so big but It feel just so good in there..”

As she slammed down her shot.” Well… This is the make-up for the blow job that you never finished on my 15th birthday… It only took 18 years for me to meet with you and well we have some lost time to make up for.. ..” For you see if you read the story of my first sexual expierence.. This is her… This is the first woman I ever truly loved as a teenager and It seems ironically funny that has been the last woman I have truly loved as an adult… We finish smoking a joint and the rest of the alcohol. Smoking a cigarette we are both pretty buzzed.

I look her in the eyes and say.” I still hate saved by the bell.”It was 20 minutes all together and the whole time my cock was still throbbing in her ass as she was still slowly sliding up and down on it. We finish A large gatorade…. TBC

Your dialogue punctuation is completely wrong. There are other mistakes but that is the one that probably is getting you bounced.

 

[BBlaketbv]

Your dialogue punctuation is completely wrong. There are other mistakes but that is the one that probably is getting you bounced.

The part with the underage content.
The dialogue punctuation has problems, but it isn't even the nr.1 problem

 

[SimonDoom]

The part with a blowjob on his 15th birthday.
The dialogue punctuation is horrible, but it isn't even the nr.1 problem

I didn't even get to that until I saw other people's comments. But yes, that's obvious.

 

[onehitwanda]

...and you had the balls to start this thread by claiming your grammar was good and your punctuation was on point...

Hello? 999? Yes. I'm afraid I need to report a murder.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Your dialogue punctuation is completely wrong. There are other mistakes but that is the one that probably is getting you bounced.

^^ this.

But also, just wanted to ask the others why the vitriol towards the OP? lol
As far as I can tell they asked an honest question. Maybe their mistakes should've been obvious, but maybe it wasn't.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

^^ this.

But also, just wanted to ask the others why the vitriol towards the OP? lol
As far as I can tell they asked an honest question. Maybe their mistakes should've been obvious, but maybe it wasn't.

Was about to write something along the same lines. We are back to juvenile mocking on AH, it seems.

@Thre3tier I suggest you ask for help in the editor forum. You have plenty of errors in the text you posted (which you are not really allowed to do) It might take some time until someone responds there, so be patient. Good luck.

 

[SimonDoom]

^^ this.

But also, just wanted to ask the others why the vitriol towards the OP? lol
As far as I can tell they asked an honest question. Maybe their mistakes should've been obvious, but maybe it wasn't.

I'm not sure if that was directed at me, but I don't think my remark showed vitriol.

I agree we should try not to be snarky with people who ask questions like this. But people get impatient because threads like these are very common, and they are very often the same. "My stories keep getting rejected for no reason even though my grammar is just fine and there's nothing wrong." We hear this a million times.

The thing is, it's almost NEVER true. The people who start these threads in almost every case have failed to do the most basic homework, failed to look at what the Site is telling them, and want us to solve their problem for them without doing the most preliminary work on their own part OR giving us the information needed to answer the question. In nearly every case, as the facts come out, it's crystal clear why the story is being rejected, and it WOULD be clear to anyone who had done their work.

When I started writing at Literotica, I did all my homework. I read the rules, I followed threads here in the Hangout, I followed threads about the rules and on content, and most of all I read other stories to get a sense of what flies here. I read how-to guides on categories and story content and dialogue. My approach was perhaps somewhat more obsessive and thorough than others might reasonably be expected to be, but it did work. I've NEVER had problems with the site's content rules. They are not a mystery to me. I think it's reasonable to expect authors to do a modicum of work to self-diagnose the problems they are having before coming to the Hangout without adequate information to enable us to help them. So, while I don't think snark is appropriate, I can sympathize with a certain degree of impatience.

In this particular case, the OP should 1) read the site's response thoroughly to understand the basis for the rejection, 2) read how-to guides on punctuation and dialogue that are available at this site, and here: https://editorsmanual.com/articles/punctuate-dialogue/, 3) completely familiarize himself with the site's content rules, and 4) review Ogg's permanent thread on the underage rule.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

I'm not sure if that was directed at me, but I don't think my remark showed vitriol.

Not directed at you at all.
mostly at @BBlaketbv

I'm fine with cheeky and snarky. I can be both (alot of the time). But I think shaming the OP vis a vis @BBlaketbv was crossing the line a bit. I don't know maybe it wasn't.
But like I said before, some rules that should be obvious might not be, so I think posters who come here in good faith should be treated with a bit of patience, maybe some good ol fashion ribbing if that's called for, but not having their work put down.

Now lemme just sit back and wait for the OP to ask for a female editor

 

[onehitwanda]

Now lemme just sit back and wait for the OP to ask for a female editor

brb, getting salt and holy water

 

[BBlaketbv]

Not directed at you at all.
mostly at @BBlaketbv

I'm fine with cheeky and snarky. I can be both (alot of the time). But I think shaming the OP vis a vis @BBlaketbv was crossing the line a bit. I don't know maybe it wasn't.
But like I said before, some rules that should be obvious might not be, so I think posters who come here in good faith should be treated with a bit of patience, maybe some good ol fashion ribbing if that's called for, but not having their work put down.

Now lemme just sit back and wait for the OP to ask for a female editor

I'm sorry. I can see my reactions were too rough. Edited them down a bit.

My first story got sent back as well. When mine got sent back I got helpful links to explain why. Especially dialogue is something that I needed to learn better.
https://editorsmanual.com/articles/punctuate-dialogue/ should be helpful. I got a link to a different page, sadly I can't find it right now.

Some helpful FAQ links that might help:
https://www.literotica.com/faq/publishing/sent-back-work
https://www.literotica.com/resources/content-guidelines

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

I'm sorry. I can see my reactions were too rough. Edited them down a bit.

My first story got sent back as well. When mine got sent back I got helpful links to explain why. Especially dialogue is something that I needed to learn better.
https://editorsmanual.com/articles/punctuate-dialogue/ should be helpful. I got a link to a different page, sadly I can't find it right now.

Some helpful FAQ links that might help:
https://www.literotica.com/faq/publishing/sent-back-work
https://www.literotica.com/resources/content-guidelines

Aww. That's cool of you to do.

 

[MillieDynamite]

@Thre3tier, Okay, the sample provided has multiple grammatical and punctuation errors. Miss commas, missing ', run-on sentences, a specific age violation. The rejection has nothing to do with AI, but there are several reasons to bounce it. You need an editor. Good luck!

 

[Gamblnluck]

it just got worse... and worse... and worse.

how on earth did that get approved?

Now I'm gonna have to go read it. I passed it by when I saw it originally.
I see most authors here in the hangout say how anything should go and it is fiction after all so write what you want. This must be REALLY off the wall. LOL

 

[Gamblnluck]

Let's make a new game show, the rape show, where women run from rape gangs. Let's make an inner city setting and turn women in fancy dress nightgowns loose in the worst possible areas. All they have for defense is their wits and the contents of the clutches, which consist of breath mints and a parking ticket.

Actually, seems like i read (rather skimmed) something like that a while back. No weapons but the basic idea.... I think that author based it on a movie about hunting people for sport and changed from killing to rape.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I'm sure you did, that was the basic premise of a story floated by me asking me if it would pass the Laurel test for publication. Maybe he got through.

 

[Gamblnluck]

@Thre3tier, Okay, the sample provided has multiple grammatical and punctuation errors. Miss commas, missing ', run-on sentences, a specific age violation. The rejection has nothing to do with AI, but there are several reasons to bounce it. You need an editor. Good luck!

He also mentioned a blowjob at the age of 15. That alone will get the story tossed. The story itself sucked and the grammar and punctuation atrocious but sometimes crap passes through. read like a schoolboy jerk-off fantasy.
I am editing this comment to say just because an author submits something, others should not feel obligated to sit around, sing kumbaya, and praise his efforts. I frequently applaud first time authors who have the balls (or ovaries) to actually submit a story, and offer advice to how to improve. Many times I repeat that with a PM.
I am no expert by any means.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I did say, a specific age violation, about that one.

He also mentioned a blowjob at the age of 15. That alone will get the story tossed. The story itself sucked and the grammar and punctuation atrocious but sometimes crap passes through. read like a schoolboy jerk-off fantasy.

 

[Gamblnluck]

@SimonDoom Wow I did none of those things. I briefly glanced at the forum a few times and found it unhelpful. I did see many stories I loved and many I detested for whatever reason. I tried to emulate the first.
Some of my stories are re-works from a role reversal site I wrote on. I had to update the age of some of my characters. Some of the stories written there will not translate. You can't have an 18 and 19 brother sister pair take control by threatening to tell their divorced father of their mother's arrest and he gain custody. I think in my story the kids were 16 and 17. Oh well, you learn the rules and conform.

 

[SimonDoom]

@SimonDoom Wow I did none of those things. I briefly glanced at the forum a few times and found it unhelpful. I did see many stories I loved and many I detested for whatever reason. I tried to emulate the first.
Some of my stories are re-works from a role reversal site I wrote on. I had to update the age of some of my characters. Some of the stories written there will not translate. You can't have an 18 and 19 brother sister pair take control by threatening to tell their divorced father of their mother's arrest and he gain custody. I think in my story the kids were 16 and 17. Oh well, you learn the rules and conform.

It might sound like overkill, but when you consider how much time so many authors spend in anxiety over their stories and in this forum trying to get answers, they'd spare themselves a lot of angst with a little work. A stitch in time saves nine.

 

[Gamblnluck]

It might sound like overkill, but when you consider how much time so many authors spend in anxiety over their stories and in this forum trying to get answers, they'd spare themselves a lot of angst with a little work. A stitch in time saves nine.

Oh I agree. Many want validation when the story they put a lot of work into fails as well. They refuse to believe they wrote to the wrong audience. They don't want to accept that. When you tell them and explain they get angry and say they will write what they want and put it wherever and leave them alone. (which is true)