Naughty Fortune Cookies 🥠

[Vitriolhack]

Ice cream is for lovers

 

[Wolfie605]

instead of giving her your opinion, give her an orgasm.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The proper way to read any fortune cookie is to add ‘in bed’ to the end, You’ll be amazed it works for most!

Or "in accordance with prophecy" or "with a pickle"

 

[ABiGuy84]

Practice makes perfect, bring towels.

 

[screwher]

Your wife will be pleasured by another man tonight.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

There can only be one - at a time

 

[Sexydrana]

You’re going to have multiple orgasms by tonight.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

No matter what happens today, it’s just me against the world

 

[Erosfan]

Unlock your wild side…. visit an adult bookstore today.
Embrace change….. get a new sex toy.
If swinging is too big of a risk try role playing with your lover.
Variety is the spice of life … try a new sex position tonight.
Leave inhibitions behind and have sex outside.

"Leave inhibitions behind and have sex outside."

Oh, this is so good! If you haven't tried it, you have no idea what you are missing. Be careful. Be discreet.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Play with ALL your senses

 

[Sexydrana]

If you don’t make someone cum soon, you’ll have a bad week.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

If you don’t make someone cum soon, you’ll have a bad week.

You looking for a volunteer to save you from a bad week?

 

[ABiGuy84]

You can expect more than Spring Rolls tonight.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Opportunities are all around you!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Almost everything is better deep-fried

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Ketchup soothes a myriad of mistakes

 

[Sexydrana]

It’s time you try that new thing in bed, especially tonight!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Sure, buy that new toy! It's not THAT expensive! *

*Sponsored by your local neighborhood porn shop

 

[Sexydrana]

She really wants to cum again via oral, go on do her a favor!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Surprise your partner with a massage. They'll thank you.

 

[Vitriolhack]

There is nothing wrong with taking one for the team!

 

[AlexBailey]

Anything worth going is worth doing right.

 

[AlexBailey]

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Cookie crumbs are no reason to kick them outta bed

 

[Sexydrana]

“You can cum again now.”