Naughty Fortune Cookies 🥠

[UsuallyPresent]

Seek not orgasm, but rather the foreplay

 

[Sexydrana]

Keep up with your stretches! You’ll need it for later in bed…

 

[fullservice65]

"Condom not what you can bareback"

 

[ABiGuy84]

Expect a goodnight.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Lubricate.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Seek not orgasm, but rather the foreplay

Nice one master Yoda!

 

[Vitriolhack]

Seek and you will find your evening partner!

 

[Sexydrana]

(Once had a fortune tell me "True love is worth waiting for” So in that style…)


Great sex requires great amount of foreplay.

 

[fullservice65]

"Stuff this message inside your cookie"

 

[UsuallyPresent]

[Insert Clever Words Here]

 

[Vitriolhack]

“Don’t let happily ever after stand in the way of a great one night stand with the wrong person!”

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The perfect date is the enemy of adequate orgasms

 

[ABiGuy84]

Expect Hard Thing tonight

 

[EmmAgain]

“Before too long, doggy-style will refer only to your hair.”

 

[Vitriolhack]

“He’ll do!”

 

[Sexydrana]

This next person won’t be your true love, but they will rock your world.

 

[OralAllOver]

You will be blessed with an unskilled, malodorous lover -- one for whom cheating is impossible

 

[ABiGuy84]

"Tic Toc"

 

[OralAllOver]

Every exit is an entrance to new possibilities

Every exit is an entrance to new possibilities

Wow, that's actually deep

 

[Vitriolhack]

It’s snack time!

 

[Sexydrana]

“There’s a whore in this house.”
“Be open to bondage with those worthy of your trust.”

 

[ABiGuy84]

... I am all alone in house, who's the whore?

If at first you don't succeed, try again. And again ...

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Persistence to the point of success is a blessing, until that point a curse

 

[PlayfulJay]

Good things come…and come again.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I have always wondered what kind of message would be found in fortune cookies, if they were naughty ones!

I’ll start:

“Friends can be great lovers”

“Don’t look any further, satisfaction is in front of you”

“Go home and jerk off, she’s not into you”

“Like you have a chance!”

“She is wet for you”

….you all get the idea!

Just for fun you all!

Kind of like dirty Valentines hearts.
It would be fun to have a group over and make them read them out loud with adding the ending in bed to each of them after reading